death is the mother of beauty.

and what is beauty?

terror.

NEVER DEAD TO US
a logan howlett (wolverine) fic
x-men alternate universe
mature content ahead. 

When babies are born, mothers hold their breath. However, the breath doesn't get released until after their child has significantly advanced past puberty. Parents are terrified of their children being mutants, clutching their pearls until they are certain their kid is normal. Some parents take that unconditional love they all claim to have for their children to the grave. Loving their children regardless of their x mutation. But for others, the love is conditional. Often times going to the extreme. Abandonment, genetic mutation therapy, execution. The fear and abandonment mutants have faced has caused multiple mutant only communities to arise. Most are violent, really embracing the 'all mutants are villain's' role. Except for the X-Mansion, professionally known as, Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.

Sabrina Votta was just thirteen when her mutation took form. One day she was normal the next day she wasn't. Her mutation didn't fully come in at once though, it festered in her for months. Only revealing little pieces of itself at once. The beginning stages of her mutation seemed tolerable, easily hidden. At first, she just levitated. Lifting herself off the ground by an inch or two. The seemingly basic and harmless ability nearly sent her mother into a stroke. For a while it was just levitation. A little party trick kept between herself and her parents only. But as the weeks went on, it developed more. 

Small things here and there. She could see the future it seemed, she'd have dreams and they'd come true. She would hear things, whispers violating her ears from every direction. She would get full body chills and the hair on the back of her neck would rise. Her body felt like it was getting plunged into cold darkness. The feeling came one day and never left. A week before her fourteenth birthday she was home alone after school. Wondering into the kitchen to get a glass of water she noticed one of her mothers herb plants on the windowsill. It was wilted, the leaves brown and crunchy, the dirt drier than ever. She reached her hand out and touched the plants withered leaves, and in almost an instant her finger tips felt like they had millions of pins and needles. The herbs crunchy, dry, withered leaves slowly turned green. It's wilted posture fixing itself, becoming bright and bouncy. With a gasp she dropped the potted plant. The terracotta smashing on the ground, dirt everywhere and the now newly refreshed plant was on the bare kitchen floor. She wiped her hands on her pants as she looked around in a panic. She was alone but she still felt watched. She crouched down and scooped the healthier than ever plant into her hands. She closed her eyes and concentrated, the pins and needles in her fingers coming back. When she opened her eyes again and looked in her hands, the plant was dry, wilted, and crunchy again. She quickly let out a breath before throwing the dead plant in the trash and cleaning up the pot shards and dirt. 

Later that same night she waited for her parents to be fast asleep before she snuck out her window. She wrapped her coat around her tighter and she wandered her way into the forest. She didn't know what she was looking for exactly until she came across a bunny. Glancing around her to make sure she was alone, she held her hand out towards the bunny. Her fingers burning with pins and needles as a black mist trickled out from her. She watched as the bunny grew frail, its fur turning grey, bones showing through, watching it wobble before it flopped over and stopped breathing. She slowly bent down, petting the dead bunny's fur as she closed her eyes again. Stroking the bunnies fur until she felt it subtly twitching under her touch, opening her eyes she saw a bunny staring back up at her. It was plump again, the fur back to its light brown color instead of grey. She killed it and brought it back. 

She didn't tell her parents about this new evolution in her mutation. She couldn't tell them. So for the rest of the week she let them have it. She let them throw her a birthday party with all her friends and family. She let them sing happy birthday as she wished to be normal. Once everyone left and she bid her parents goodnight she got to work. She cleaned her room, just how her mother was always urging for her to do. She took a shower and scrubbed herself raw. Changing into comfortable clothing, she backed a bag and wrote a note. Her note detailed everything she had been hiding from them. Then she left.

Left out her window again with just a pocket knife, backpack slung over her shoulder, and a small cage with a bunny in it. At just fourteen she was alone, and she'd be alone for a while. At least until she met Professor Xavier. 

featuring.

Maika Monroe as ... 
Sabrina ( GEHENNA / THE NECROMANCER ) Votta 

along with.

hugh jackman ... logan howlett
jefferey dean morgan ... father markus
x men cast ... themselves

authors note.
Y'all I swear I'm back for good this time (maybe). I, along with everyone and their moms, recently watched the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie and it brought back my X-MEN/MCU phase HARD. So, I ofc had to write a fic for bbg logan cause why not? I've also wanted to use Maika Monroe in a fic for as long as I can remember, and since she's low-key been popping off after the release of Longlegs I decided to use her as a fc. 

But all the aside I hope you enjoy !

warnings.
This has MATURE CONTENT. talks of religion, suggestive content, alcohol, canon and non canon violence, cursing, rusty writing, and talks of mental health. A reminder that you are responsible for your own media consumption, if you can't handle certain topics don't read it. I'll try my best to put trigger warnings before each chapter, if I miss something or forget just lmk and I'll fix it.

content credits.
All of my Maika Monroe gifs are from the tumblr account /noirflavouredgifs. My divider was found on pintrest. Any graphics for this book made by someone other than me will be tagged accordingly. 

dedications.
to literally anyone who reads this lmao, its been a while since I've written on here so if you want to be tagged in future xmen or marvel things lmk ❤️