Chapter 42: Enough Now

I was all smiles until I got home and found out that Lilly had been missing since this morning. Hestia even asked me if I fed her before I got to work, which I didn't. I barely paid her attention for a few weeks now.

"She must be starving by now," Hestia cried again.

Halos mahalughog na namin ang buong apartment pero hindi pa rin namin siya mahanap. After I ransacked all my wardrobes and possible places she could go for hiding, I decided to take it further and look for her outside.

"She has been missing since this morning and you didn't even tell me?" pagalit kong tanong kay Hestia habang naglalakad kami.

She snorted. "I didn't know until after noon! Hindi ko nga inisip na nawawala talaga siya kaya hindi ko agad hinanap. Akala ko ay nasa paligid lang."

"Hindi mo siya nakita magsimula kanina?"

"No. How about you? Lagi siyang natutulog sa kwarto mo, hindi ba?"

I shook my head. Hindi ko na ulit siya pinatulog sa kwarto ko.

We had been looking for her for an hour now, but still had no hint about her whereabouts. Gano'n pa man ay hindi kami tumigil sa paghahanap sa kanya.

"H-hindi mo ba siya pinamigay, Nath?" biglang tanong ni Hestia.

I glared at her. "Are you serious now?"

"I mean..." Hinawi niya ang kanyang luha. "Hindi pa kita nakitang hinawakan siya ulit. Hindi mo na nga siya pinapakain saka pinapaliguan."

Umiling ako. "Hindi ko siya pinamigay, Hestia."

I admitted it. I was not interested in her as I was before. Gano'n pa man ay hindi ko siya kayang ipamigay. I would never give her away just like that!

"Lilly!" Hestia called her name. "Come back, baby. I promise to take good care of you!"

Natigilan kami sa paglalakad nung mapansin na may dalawang lalaking naglalakad palapit sa amin. Ang isa sa kanila ay pulis na gaya namin ay tila may hinahanap.

"Lilly!" Tumakbo si Hestia palapit sa kanila.

Napangiti ako nung makitang buhat-buhat siya ng isang lalaki.

"Is this your cat?" tanong ng lalaki.

"Yes. Thank you!" sabi naman ni Hestia. "She's been missing since this morning."

"Can you really prove to us that she's your cat?" the police officer asked.

"Her name is Lilly," sagot naman ni Hestia.

"I painted her nails red," I said, stepping forward. "She has a scar on her right leg where I usually put her personalized anklet."

"She's ours!" exclaimed Hestia. "Come to think of it, you're looking for the owner of this cat, and we're looking for our missing cat. Doesn't that sound like a coincidence?"

Tumango ang pulis sa lalaking may hawak ng pusa ko. Sinubukang ibigay sa akin ng lalaki si Lilly pero tumanggi ito at nagsumiksik lang sa lalaki.

I didn't know a cat would someday break my heart.

"L-Lilly..." I stuttered. "Come here."

Lilly didn't want to come back to me.

"Lilly, baby." Sinubukan ni Hestia na kunin siya at sumama naman ito sa akin. "You made us worried. I'm really sorry, Lilly. Don't do that again, okay?"

Umatras ako at hinayaan na lang siya ang kumuha.

She didn't want me anymore.

"Please take a good care of her," sabi ng lalaki habang nakatingin sa akin. "You can lose everything you have, but your pets would stay with you no matter what."

"Thank you," I just said.

Inuwi na namin si Lilly.

"Hold her for me. Ikukuha ko lang siya ng pagkain at tubig," sabi pa sa akin ni Hestia.

Kahit na nagpupumiglas ito ay hindi ko siya binitiwan. Niyakap ko siya sa aking dibdib.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

Pinakain naming siya saka ko pinaliguan. Pinasok ko siya sa aking kwarto at nilapag sa aking kama. Pagkaupo ko ay dumikit siya sa akin. That simple gesture made me emotional.

"If anyone neglected me as I did to you, there's no way I would still stick around," I whispered to her. "Thank you for coming home, Lilly."

I let her sleep on my bed again. When I woke up the following day, I immediately fed her. Before I got to work, I bathed her again.

Balak ko nga sanang i-cancel ang mga scheduled work ko today para lang makasama pa si Lilly. But I was planning to accomplish as many tasks as I could. I've also started declining projects and invitations again.

I only had a few days left here.

I was on my way to my first appointment when I decided to check my social media. The first post appeared on my newsfeed was a leaked video of something.

I didn't intend to watch it, but it automatically played. It was footage of Bryson entering the building where I once lived. That's also where the incident happened.

Everything suddenly flashedback. Sa tulong ni Hando ay napalabas naming tumalon ng building si Bryson kahit na ang totoo ay tinulak ko siya. Pero bago pa man siya mahulog ay patay na siya.

I did that to save my career. Not only that.

Napahawak ako sa pisngi ko nung may bumagsak na luha.

Why did it suddenly make me feel so horrible about myself?

I killed him. It was not a suicide.

I still tried to open the comment section. Halos lahat ay kinakampihan ako at sinasabing huwag nang hungkatin ang nakaraan para manahimik na ang tao.

The video provided no evidence that I had anything to do with it. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ng mga tao na sangkot ako kahit papaano roon dahil ang alam nila ay nagpakamatay si Bryson dahil nakipag-break ako sa kanya.

What's gone is gone. Why am I so worried now?

What if Kristan found out? Ano na naman ang iisipin niya tungkol sa akin? Kilala niya ako at alam kong mas malawak ang pananaw niya tungkol sa akin.

He wouldn't buy the suicide reason.

That flashback kind of distracted me, but I managed to complete half of my tasks today. Mabigat na ang pakiramdam ko no'ng hapon. I was mentally and physically drained.

I haven't heard anything about him yet. Mahirap bang bumawi kay Kathlysse? Siguro ay sinisigurado niya munang maayos na talaga ang pakiramdam na 'to.

I was on my way for my next project when I received a call from Hando. Ramdam ko ang pagod ng katawan ko kaya sumandal ako bago sinagot ang tawag.

"Are you going to take a break?" he inquired. "You declined all the projects they offered you, which you don't usually do unless you're taking a long vacation."

"I still have loads of jobs, Hando."

"You can approve them and do the projects next time," aniya pa. "Hindi mo naman kailangang gawin lahat ngayon. I bet you didn't even read the emails I sent you."

Pinikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko at hindi na kumibo.

I was honestly exhausted.

"You haven't read about that invitation, have you?" Mas buhay ngayon at may galak ang kanyang boses. "It's good if you decline the rest. Just accept that."

"What exactly is that invitation?"

"An invitation to a party. Guess who invited you?"

"Jail party?" I jokingly asked.

He sighed. "You have seen that resurfaced footage, haven't you? Nothing to worry about. That's been long resolved. As I was saying, about the invitation."

"I'm having a party, too!" I exclaimed.

"I know about that," he chuckled. "Alam ko ang rason ng iba mong pinagkakaabalahan nitong mga nakaraang linggo. You are preparing for your decennial anniversary!"

He already knew, as expected. It's extremely difficult to keep a secret from him.

"May plano rin ako riyan, pero sa ngayon, puwede bang mag focus muna tayo sa tinutukoy kong imbitasyon?"

"You've been talking for two minutes and haven't said anything specific about the party," iritado kong sinabi. "Malapit na akong bumaba ng sasakyan."

"Okay. The person inviting you is the CEO of the world's most renowned modeling empire!"

Napadilat ako ng mga mata. "What?"

"That's right!" he sounded thrilled. "He personally sent you an invitation. You cannot say no to this, Nathalia. That's our big boss."

"Big boss?" I chuckled. "I don't work for anyone, Hando. I am my own boss."

He sighed once more. "You may not recognize him as our boss, but he still is the owner of the company we are working with. So... Nathalia. You are coming."

I bit my bottom lip. That got me interested.

"You are coming..." he repeated.

I laughed. "Do you want me to fuck him?"

"What?"

"You have been dreaming of building your own empire, right? Is this your way of getting it, Hando? By using me as your pawn again?"

"What on earth are you talking about—"

"Count me in, then. I want to be involved."

I hang up the phone.

Saktong nakarating na rin kami. I would do a five-minute interview about the upcoming release of my cover of next month's magazine issue.

The entrance was unusually quiet. Akala ko ay dahil nasa loob na lahat ng interviewers. Pagkapasok ko ay tama nga ang hinala ko. Nasa loob na ang interviewers at kasalukuyan nang nagaganap ang interview.

They were interviewing someone else.

Nakuha ko ang lahat ng attention nila pagkapasok ko. Nagkaroon ng bulungan sa paligid, pero hindi ko maalis ang tingin sa babaeng nakaupo sa harapan.

That spot should be mine. What is happening?

A woman approached me and said, "Miss Nathalia..." She appeared agitated. "I am the coordinator—"

"Who is she?" I asked, referring to the woman they were interviewing. "Why is she here?"

"Her name is Sania Anderson. Haven't you received the email?"

I was so puzzled that I just stood there and let the photographers photograph me as many times as they wanted. Sania took a step forward and approached me.

"Miss Nathalia," she said, smiling.

"I believe there's a mistake here. Who are you?" I asked.

"Miss Nathalia, we have already informed you that your magazine issue has been reschedules," sabi ng babaeng unang lumapit sa akin na nagpakilalang organizer. "I sincerely apologize for any confusion."

"Next month will be my birth month," Sania said proudly. "It's just appropriate for me to be the cover. You look gorgeous, anyway."

"Does that mean Miss Sania Anderson replaced Miss Nathalia Cardinal as the cover girl for the next month's magazine issue?" one of the reporters inquired.

That question caused quite a stir.

Someone replaced me.

"That's not the issue," Sania replied. "I believe they simply forgot to notify Miss Nathalia Cardinal that her cover had been rescheduled."

"Does that also mean it was moved because of you?"

"Let's not take it that far," sabi na rin ng babaeng kumausap sa akin. "Please don't make this an issue. We are all good here. There's nothing to be worried about."

I couldn't say anything. This was the first time my schedule had been shifted to accommodate someone else. Everyone made way for me.

"Exactly," Sania agreed. "Besides, we should be grateful that Miss Nathalia Cardinal is here with us, even if it was only by accident. Isn't this the best accident ever?"

Everyone agreed.

I took a swallow. "I apologize for interrupting. Best wishes, Miss Anderson."

"Oh, Miss Nathalia," Sania said, hugging me. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

I immediately left the scene after that humiliating incident. As soon as I got into my car, I grabbed my phone and called them to cancel my project.

I instructed the driver to take me home.

Tumunog uli ang cell phone ko. Hindi ko na tiningnan kung sino ang tumatawag, basta sinagot ko na lang ito.

"Did you and Dylan get into a fight?" Hando asked.

I sighed. "We were never on good terms."

"Damn. What did you do?"

"What did I do?" tumaas ng boses ko.

"He told the media that you and him had already broken up. Imposible namang siya ang unang tumanggi sa inyo. He was so into you! Ikaw lang naman ang may problema—"

"Fuck him, fuck the media, and fuck you!"

I ended the call and threw my phone on the back.

Narinig ko pang tumunog ang cell phone ko. Humiga na lang ako sa upuan saka niyakap ang sarili. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko.

I'm so fucking done with everything. I just want all these to end.

Habang nakahiga ako ay may napagtanto ako. My family back home was unusually inactive. I haven't heard a thing about them since I left.

Is that a good thing? No. Ano ang nangyari sa Unus?

Did something happen?

I shook my head. Malalaman ko naman kung sakaling may nangyari mang hindi maganda. My father would surely use his connection to get in touch with me even if I was on the other side of the world.

I shrugged it off. May mas importante akong dapat na intindihin. Siguro pagkatapos nito ay baka bumisita rin ako sa kanila.

Halos gumapang ako palabas ng sasakyan. Sobrang bigat ng katawan ko. Ramdam ko rin ang panunuyo ng lalamunan ko. Akala ko ay dahil lang sa mga nangyayari, pero nung pati ang paningin ko ay manlabo ay alam kong dahil 'yon sa kwintas.

I've been in this human world for far too long, and I've already expended all of my energy.

Pagkapasok ko sa loob ng apartment ay tinawag ko si Hestia, pero walang sumagot. Humawak ako sa railing ng hagdan at kinapa ang mga hakbang pataas.

"Hestia!" I called her again.

"Nathalia?"

Napatingala ako sa itaas ng hagdan. Bahagyang umayos ang paningin ko o kahit na malabo pa rin ito ay makilala ko agad ang boses niya.

"Nathalia!" Patakbong lumapit sa akin si Kristan.

He carried me up into my room. Nung sinubukan niya akong ihiga sa kama ay tinulak ko siya.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Your necklace. You need to take it off."

I shook my head. "Have you heard about it?"

"What?"

"About Bryson..."

Umiling siya. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Then... let me introduce him to you." I smiled.

"Nathalia—"

"Bryson was my showbiz boyfriend. He died years ago." Bumuhos ang mga luha sa mata ko. "Bago siya mamatay ay ako ang huli niyang kinausap. Nakipagkita siya sa akin."

Kristan looked at me ridiculously. I couldn't tell if he was mad or worried. Pero kung itutuloy ko ang kwento ko ay alam kong magagalit siya.

"Ang alam nilang lahat ay nagpakamatay ito kaya tumalon mula sa itaas ng building. Siguro ay dahil 'yon ang pinalabas namin. Pinalabas naming nagpakamatay siya."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I want you to hear it from me first. I killed him, Kristan. Bago ko pa siya itulak sa building ay napatay ko na siya. Hando helped me cover it up."

Natigilan siya. "N-Nathalia..."

"He found out that I was a vampire."

"T-that's all?"

"He went into my condo unit. He was drunk. He forced me..." That's when my voice broke. "He tried to rape me. If I didn't do that—"

Kristan pulled me into a tight hug.

"Please don't hate me even more..." I whispered.

Habang nakayakap ako sa kanya ay pinigtas niya ang kwintas ko.

"Enough now," he whispered.

"I hate you... I hate you so much."

He chuckled. "Hate is still a feeling. As long as you still have feelings for me, I'm fine with it."

I laughed. "How dare you forget things easily and still choose to remember how corny you are."

"Shit. I missed hearing your insults."

We both laughed.