Chapter 40: After This

As we neared the end of this era, I began to realize how much I had neglected Hestia. I've been so focused on establishing my reputation in this crowded industry that I almost forgot I had her. It was only during my dark times that I remembered her.

It was unfair that she never left me despite my absence in her life. She has been my consistent supporter, friend, and also critic. Sometimes, before people even criticize something about me, Hestia has already pointed it out.

"Seriously, Nathalia?" Hestia chuckled. "I love surprises, pero kapag ikaw ang gumagawa ay kinakabahan ako. May pa-blindfold ka pang nalalaman!"

"Shut up!" Hinawakan ko ang piring sa kanyang mga mata dahil baka alisin niya. I've organized this surprise for a day just to get spoiled.

Nakaalalay ako sa kanya habang naglalakad. Nakangiti na ako dahil halos marating na namin ang lugar. Ilang lakad na lang ay huminto na kami.

"Okay. Good thing I am not feeling the harsh wind blowing. I am pretty sure this is not a cliff," biro pa niya. "Can I take off my blindfold now?"

"Wait!" I yelled as I dashed inside, taking the bouquet of red roses from the round table. "All right, take off your blindfold now."

"This is making me anxious. I am taking it off!"

I eagerly watched as she slowly took the blindfold off. The dramatic bitch even leaned her head and gradually lifted it to see the place.

"How about a date?" I smiled.

She pouted, then cried.

I organized a simple date setup on a gazebo near the beach. Torches lined up at the entrance, and I also decorated the surrounding with blush lights and roses.

"Y-you know that I don't really like red!" she roamed her eyes around.

"But I am your date!" I chuckled as I approached her. "Huwag ka ngang maarte. Kunin mo na 'tong bulaklak."

"Be gentle naman!"

I pulled her inside the gazebo. Nauna na akong naupo.

"Light up the candles," I said.

"Did you like my surprise?" she asked sarcastically.

"Oh, my feels. I love this!" I giggled.

After lighting up the cadles, Hestia sat on the chair across me. Tumingala siya para pagmasdan ang mga ilaw. Sumilay ang isang ngiti sa kanyang labi.

"Any man would kill to have my position," she mumbled.

"So..." I poured us some wine. "Don't expect food. My task is only to design the place. Let's just have some wine."

"This is a nice date, Nathalia. I appreciate it."

I just shrugged.

I spent five minutes explaining how I secretly planned this date, and Hestia did nothing but point out everything I overlooked and should have included aside from food.

"A music wouldn't be that bad," she said.

"I can sing!"

"So... what's this?" pag-iiba niya agad sa usapan.

Natigilan ako. I'd been playing the enigmatic, classy, and mysterious Nathalia Cardinal of the modeling world for so long that I felt embarrassed to express myself and how I was really feeling.

Hestia's brows arched. "Trip mo lang?"

"Not really..." I bit my bottom lip. "I just felt like... I needed this."

"You needed to date me?"

"Yeah," I said, clearing my throat. "Please accept this as a token of appreciation for your efforts in making my dress. Ilang araw na lang ay matatapos na 'yon."

"You know I would do anything for you, right?" she sounded offended. "I didn't need you to return everything I had given you. You are like a sister to me, Nathalia."

Right at that moment, I felt like the real Nathalia Cardinal was finally melting from being frozen for nearly a decade. I was finally coming back to my senses as I thought about how much this woman meant to me.

"I cannot believe we are approaching the end." She sipped on her wine as she sighed. "It's been a long ride, is it?"

"Tayo pa rin ang magkasama," nakangiti kong sabi.

"Ako lang naman ang nakakatagal sa ugali mong pabago-bago," natatawa niyang sagot.

"I want to be a good woman in the next era," I exclaimed, overjoyed. "Not fancy. Not material. Not exaggerated. I want to be a normal vampire. But let's not take away the action."

Hestia cried again.

"I don't think I am ready to leave this world," she sobbed.

Hinila ko ang upuan sa tabi niya saka ko siya hinarap sa akin. Pinunasan ko ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. Saka ko siya niyakap.

"Sinabi mo rin 'yan dati..." bulong ko.

"This world is harder to leave than our world as an insurgent, Nath."

"Would you like to be an insurgent again?"

"No!" Tinulak niya ako palayo sa kanya. "I admit that this world is harder to leave than our previous one, but the previous one scarred me deeper than this."

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Nath..." Lumambot ang expression ng mukha niya. "It's not your fault. Hanggang kailan mo ba sisisihin ang sarili mo?"

I shook my head. Tinulak ko ulit ang upuan ko sa dating pwesto saka nagsalin ng alak sa baso. Nakadalawa agad akong tagay. Nakatingin lang sa akin si Hestia.

"You know what?" tanong ko habang ang tingin ay nasa kulay pulang likido sa baso. "Truth be told. It's so unreasonable of you to stay with me despite of everything."

"Nathalia..."

"That's not the first time that I almost put yout life at stake, Hestia. Our insurgent life is not the first time that I neglected you. Ikaw ang kasama ko pero sa tuwing may iba akong nakakasama ay nakakalimutan kita. Katulad ngayon, sa dami ng mga ganap ko ay iilan lang ang kasama ka. I always forget about you."

"That's part of venturing from one life to another. We always crave for something new. I've always been with you. Natural lang na makaligtaan mo ako kapag may bago. Gano'n din naman ako sa 'yo."

"Hindi lang 'yon..."

"Kung inaalala mo pa rin si Ellie, stop it now. You didn't know she would betray us."

"You warned me. I didn't listen."

"Enough now, Nathalia."

"I am leaving alone this time."

"No!" Tumayo si Hestia saka yumakap sa akin. "It's not your fault that I am too weak even to protect myself. But I am too weak to live alone now. I've been dependent on you all my life. I don't know how to live my life without you."

I closed my eyes and my tears squeezed out. Sa matagal na panahon ay parang ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman ang lungkot ng mga luhang dumadausdos sa pisngi ko.

"We swore to stick with each other forever, Nathalia."

"But as long as you are with me, you will never have peace."

"I don't want a peaceful life without you in it."

I sobbed harder than ever.

The memories of yesterday flooded and filled my head.

We once lived as an insurgent, which was entirely my idea. Nobody in my family was aware of it. I've kept my distance from my Father because I knew he'd despise me for it. That's where I met a few of my friends, particularly Ellie.

Ellie had been an insurgent her whole life. Siya ang nagturo sa amin kung paano ang mamuhay bilang isang rebelde. She taught us everything we needed to know. She eventually became our friend.

Our life as an insurgent was fun, but it didn't last long. Ellie discovered my real identity as a daughter of a powerful family and that I was not really an insurgent. One thing I've always known about her was how badly she wanted to be part of a clan and finally have peace. But I didn't know it would lead to desperation.

Hestia was the first to notice how Ellie's behavior has changed since she discovered my real identity. She asked a lot of questions about me and my life. She often joked about how she wanted me to pursue my Father to accept her. And as someone who was only there for fun, losing her would end everything.

I had always been vocal about how I despised my Father and my clan. Maybe that was the reason why she became desperate. She knew that she had no match for me, so she resorted to attacking Hestia.

I remember going back to our small cabin where I found Hestia bathing on her own blood. Hawak siya ni Ellie sa leeg habang may nakadiin na punyal sa kanyang dibdib. She tried to use my best friend against me.

Sa dami ng nalaman niya tungkol sa akin, may nakaligtaan siya. I was not just a member of a clan or a daughter of a leader. I was also a friend and one of the highest on our hierarchy.

I was able to free Hestia from Ellie's grip. I recall her kneeling before me and pleading for her life, but the pain was too deep to be soothed by words.

I burned down the cabin with her.

That's how our insurgent life ended.

Hestia was right. That era scarred us.

"If you want to be a good woman on our next life, I want to be stronger," bulong ni Hestia na nakayakap pa rin sa akin. "Magpapakalakas ako nang sa gano'n ay hindi ko na kakailanganin pa ulit ang tulong mo. Give me a chance to prove myself, Nath. I promise to be better."

Doon ko na rin siya niyakap. Gusto ko siyang ipagtabuyan para sa ikabubuti niya, pero kung gagawin ko 'yon ay sino na lang ang matitira sa akin?

"I will be stronger for you, Nathalia."

Nakangiting hinarap ko si Hestia.

Parang namalik-mata ako sa sobrang bilis ng nangyari. May nakita akong dugo sa kanyang dibdib, pero mabilis din na naglaho 'yon.

"I don't want to leave this place without you," she sobbed.

I shook my head. "I am not leaving this place without you either."

Napangiti siya sa sinabi ko.

"Together, forever?" she asked.

I nodded. "Let's have more fun, shall we?"

She hugged me again.

"Please be safe always..." I whispered to her.

"I will..."

Pagkatapos no'n ay tinuloy na namin ang date namin. Ginawa namin ang lahat para huwag magbalik-tanaw sa nakaraan. Hindi mawala-wala sa isipan ko ang pangitain na may dugo siya sa dibdib.

"Nathalia?"

Napakurap ako nung magsalita si Hestia. "What?"

"You are spacing out. Is there something wrong?"

"Wala naman. What is it?"

She eyed me suspiciously.

"Oh, right!" I said, clearing my throat. "Since you're about to finish my dress in a few days, perhaps it's time for us to move on to the next step."

"Next step?"

"We already have the venue, the guests, the dress. We need VIPs, too. Don't you think?" I winked at her.

She sighed.

"This is not really a party, is it?" she asked.

"It's a party. What do you mean?" I laughed.

Inirapan niya lang ako.

"Anyway, this is not really my gift." I grinned. Tinaas ko ang mantel ng lamesa saka kinuha roon ang isang envelope. "Here. Take this."

"What is this?" she asked, afraid to open the folder.

"Open it. See you it yourself."

She looked hesitant. Kinuha niya ang folder at dahan-dahan na binuksan. Sa una ay nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata bago bumuhos ang kanyang luha.

"N-Nathalia..."

"Just like I promised, Hermison Island is yours."

"This..." She sniffed. "This is the best gift ever."

"I think naiintindihan ko na kung bakit gustong-gusto mo ang lugar na yon," sabi ko pa.

The old mansion was standing just beside the shoreline. It looked so isolated and enormous, even from a distance.

"Let's go there after this!" she exclaimed, ecstatic.

I smiled. After this...

Oh, my feels.

I will surely miss this life. But just like everything, it has to end.

I will miss being the Nathalia Cardinal of the human world for sure.

You could say all the bad things about me, but you would never take away the proud truth that I came from a humble beginnings. I began as an aspiring woman who had no idea she would later take the runway world by storm. I never used anyone or tried to take advantage of others in order to take the front walk. Even though it was tedious and time-consuming, I have always followed the humane process.

Although, I've also bumped into some unfortunate instances where I had to lift my chin, which was just me being proud rather than being boastful, just to remind the world who I was. I was called a bitch just by being myself.

Don't be confused. I was not just a bitch. I was a proud bitch.

Everyone loved to be famous. To be known. To be seen. But not everyone was fortunate enough to achieve it. Those fortunate enough to be seen tend to lose track of their own sights. Tragic.

Money and fame were mutually destructive forces for those who could not handle them well. In my case, I didn't have to be concerned about money. Fame was enough.

The longer I stayed in this human world, the more I realized vampires were not so dissimilar to humans. At least in terms of emotional and mental health.

I've also come to a point where I got desperate enough to maintain my status. I admitted it. Seeing new and fresh faces coming into the lights was scary, knowing people always look for something new. There was nothing more terrifying than being left out.

People enjoy watching someone rise to fame, and when they reach the pinnacle, they begin to shoot them down. But I couldn't care less at this point in my career.

Proving your worth to those who never saw something good in you was futile. Save it for those who believe in you. The tricky part was not to disappoint them.

I had the best time of my life in my sparkling red dress. I had no idea how to move forward after this or how to start all over again. But whatever it would be, I always make the best out of it.

Counting my days here, I suddenly had the urge to change my usual routines. Instead of skipping interviews, I accepted and answered all their questions. Although some of the questions were usually off, I managed.

"You look glamorous as ever, Miss Nathalia," nakangiting sabi ng babae. "How does it feel to be Nathalia Cardinal? I'm pretty sure it's stressing you out sometimes. Being this beautiful is not always heaven, is it?"

I laughed. "That is correct, but I would rather be stressed out of being beautiful than for any other reason."

She burst out laughing. "So witty. Okay, I know you have a long day ahead of you, and I don't want to prolong this. I'm sure you have millions of fans watching right now all over the world; what can you say to those who want to follow in your footsteps?"

"Don't even bother," I smiled.

"That's actually what I expected to hear," tumawa ulit ang babae.

"I meant that you don't need to follow in my footsteps. Make your own. Don't be enslaved to someone's aesthetic. Never be classic."

"Thank you so much, Miss Cardinal. It was an absolute pleasure to have you here."

"Thank you..."

Gaya ng madalas ay mabilis din na natapos ang event. Gaya rin nitong mga nagdaang araw ay ramdam kong nakasunod na naman siya sa akin.

I didn't really mind him at first, but if he was this persistent, maybe he was really trying to meet his demise. How unfortunate. I thought I would leave him untouched.

Or maybe... he was asking to be invited to the party, too.

Let's invite him, then.