Chapter 38: Remembered

I just want to have fun today.

The past week has been exhausting enough for me to still worry about what the internet says about me or my life. I will have real fun today, especially now that I have to work with them.

Did he survive? It would be a shame if he didn't.

Sinigurado muna namin na puno ang pagkain at tubig ni Lilly para kahit na matagalan kami ay hindi siya maguguton. We also made sure that all the windows were closed she woudn't have any way to sneak out.

We accidently bumped into my manager on the parking lot. Sa malayo pa lang ay alam kong nagmamadali na siyang makalapit sa amin.

"You are stressing out our manager," Hestia whispered and chuckled. "I can't imagine losing your primary source of wealth."

"Do you think I am losing?" I rolled my eyes.

A single bad thing about me will not be enough to shoot me down from my place. Do they really think that I stepped my game too far ahead of everyone just to lose in the end?

"Where the hell are two going?" Hando scowled. His fixed hair was unusually messy and as well was his polo shirt. "You cannot just go out in public after the scandal!"

"Scandal?" I chuckled.

"Anyway..." He sighed and tried to calm himself. "I know what to do now. I have already talked to Dylan about this matter. Ipapabalas natin na edited ang leaked photo na 'yon."

I just stared at him idly.

"But to be able to do that successfully, I want your cooperation. So, please. Stay inside so you can avoid complicating things more. Please!"

I understood his idea, but I don't think he understood mine. You cannot simply push me back if I am already dressed. I am now just dressed today. I am fully prepared.

"Hestia." Hando nodded. "Please escort her back to your apartment."

Hestia stood still.

Hando looked at us hopelessly. Gusto kong maawa sa kanya dahil alam kong ginagawa niya ang lahat para iligtas ang career ko, pero matagal na akong bayad sa kanya. He never genuinely cared for me. He just wanted me because he needed me. That just means he could easily throw me under the bus if needed.

"You see..." He exhaled first. "I am trying my best to save you, Nathalia. I know how much your career means to you. I am so scared right now. I am so scared knowing things wouldn't get better after this."

"You run away when you are scared," I smiled at him, which caused him more confusion. "You see, Hando. I know you more than you know me. I know what you did to your past models."

"Nathalia..." Tumalim ang tingin niya sa akin. "You owe me everything you have. If it were not for me, you wouldn't be the Nathalia Cardinal you are now."

"Taking credits, silencing, throwing under the bus, manipulating," I smirked as I closed the distance between us. "That's you are, Roman Hando."

"Which one do you think you deserve?" he asked.

My fists clenched.

"Guys..." Pumagitna sa amin si Hestia. "I think you two need to calm down. We are in the parking lot. This may be a private place, but I don't want to risk it all by neglecting the situation. So... chill."

"What do you want then, Nathalia Cardinal?" Hando asked. "If I wouldn't try to cover up your situation, what do you think could happen?"

"I would still be Nathalia Cardinal. I don't know about you, though. Who would you be without me?"

I smirked and walked away. Sumakay na ako sa sasakyan. Tumabi sa akin si Hestia. Nanatiling nakatayo at nakatingin lang sa amin si Hando.

"I will fix this," he mouthed.

I ignited the engine of my car and drove away without looking back. From the rear view mirror, I found myself smiling. This was the part where I should care less and have more fun.

I'm afraid I'm about to embark on the most exciting part of this adventure. Realizing, accepting, and simply enjoying the ride without knowing what might await me at the end of this long journey.

"You smeared your lipstick..." Pinunasan ni Hestia ng tissue ang gilid ng labi ko habang nagmamaneho ako. Saka niya pinatungan 'yon ng panibagong lipstick.

Her phone beeped. Umayos siya ng upo para silipin ang notification.

"Shit. Change of location," Hestia said. "And, uh, you don't like this location, do you? No beach. So, yeah. Let me cancel it—"

"I'm fine with it," I responded. "As long as no bitch."

"Are you certain? You despise beach photoshoots in the sun!"

"I'm good. It's not summer, Hestia."

She frowned. "Change of location means a change of fashion style. Pinaghirapan kitang damitin tapos papalitan lang? This is frustrating."

"You're behaving like a manager now, Hestia," I remarked.

I bit my bottom lip as I struggled to keep one question from coming out. I still ended up asking, "I want to know if Kath is with Kristan. Is he with her?

"Let me ask. Give me a sec."

She made me wait for almost five minutes.

"Wait..." Humarap siya sa akin. "Why are you asking?"

"Just asking."

"Uh, no." Pinatong niya sa dashboard ang kanyang cell phone saka na lang humalukipkip. "You don't need to know. You have no business with him."

"Okay." I shrugged.

Hestia did nothing but complain all the way to the set. Nagkita kami ni Kathlysse sa loob ng dressing room. I was expecting her to be loud and cheerful as always, but she just smiled at me.

I just shrugged. Mas maganda ngang hindi na lang niya ako pansinsin. Hindi rin naman siya ang sadya ko rito.

While Hestia was doing my makeup, the set director approached me to apologize for the sudden change of location. He was talking to me and having a glimpse of my arms at the same time. Akala niya yata hindi ko napansin.

"You are flawless," he complimented.

I knew what he was up to. He was making sure that the leaked photo was really edited. I just couldn't pay attention to him as I was busy trying to find someone else.

"Ten solo shots and five with Miss Merlington," the director said before leaving the room. He didn't even bother to check on Kathlysse.

"Can I go to the restroom first?" I heard Kath's makeup artist ask.

"Sure!" Kathlysse said, which was the first time I heard her voice since I came in.

Kami na lang tatlo nila Hestia ang natira sa dressing room. Tumikhim ako saka hinawi ang kamay ni Hestia.

"Please check on Lilly first," I said, pertaining to the CCTV connected to her phone.

Sumimangot si Hestia. Pasimple niyang sinulyapan si Kathlysse at mukhang alam nito na hindi talaga si Lilly ang dahilan kaya ko siya pinapaalis.

"I will be back," she said, putting down the makeup kit.

Hestia also left. Now, it was just Kathlysse and me.

I am not the type of woman who is usually concerned with what is going on around her. As long as nothing directly affects me, I usually just go about my business. But I had a feeling something strange was going on with Kathlysse.

I cleared my throat and didn't hesitate to talk to her.

"What's up?" I asked, taking out the compact mirror to examine my face closely. I pretended to be less interested than I was. "You have been unusually silent. Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing, Miss Nathalia. I just don't feel well."

She's lying.

The door swung open. Akala ko ay bumalik na ang make up artist ni Kathlysse. It was a surprise, but I managed to follow him with my eyes as he approached Kath with concern.

"Are you really sick?" Kristan asked her.

"What?" Kathlysse was perplexed rather than flattered that he was genuinely concerned about her. "You are not allowed here. Just stay outside, Kristan."

I placed the compact mirror on the table and applied lipstick to my lips to add more layers of color. Because my hands were slightly shaking, I almost smeared and ruined my lipstick.

"Do you need medicine?" he asked persistently.

"No, please just water."

Kristan was about to leave when Kathlysse said something.

"While you are at it, might as well get Lady Nathalia water, too," she said.

I fucking hate that. No. I loathe that she thinks she can decide for me.

Kristan finally turned to face me. He was dressed in a black leather jacket with shades to protect his sensitive eyes. "Miss Nathalia, may I get you a glass of water?"

The way he asked me showed less concern than when she asked Kathlysse. It made sense since she was working for her and not for me. Well, not anymore.

I should have said no or just ignored, "Yes, please. Thank you."

Kristan left. Kami na namang dalawa ni Kathlysse ang naiwan sa dressing room.

"He's really that thoughtful," she said with a smile. "Sometimes, before I even tell him what I want, he already has it in his hand. Weirdly, he seems to hear me from a distance. I am not complaining, though."

Well, you should. Those were not normal.

"Those are traits of a vampire," I chuckled.

"I'm almost convinced Kristan is a vampire, anyway..." she laughed and turned her chair to face me. "How are you, Lady Nathalia? You didn't look well the last time we spoke."

"I'm good. I have been busy recently. How about you? You don't seem good."

"I'm honestly really feeling unwell. Like... I wanna puke so bad."

My brow furrowed. "Would you like to use the restroom?"

"No need. It's just a feeling," she smiled, and for the first time since I knew her existence, it didn't seem like a smile. The twist on her lips felt like a lowkey mock to me.

Oh. It appears that the queen of smiles has had enough of faking it.

"How long have you been friends with Hestia?" she asked out of nowhere. "Although, your friendship was never secret in the first place. I didn't know you were really this close."

"We've been friends for as long as I can remember. Didn't you have one?"

She shook her head. "Must be nice to have one."

I cracked a smile. "Perhaps try to be more friendly. After all, how can you be friends with someone if you're unfriendly? It doesn't make sense."

Bumukas uli ang pinto. Pumasok si Kristan na may dalang dalawang baso ng tubig. Inabot niya kay Kathlysse ang isa bago siya naglakad sa akin.

"A glass of water?" he offered.

"Thanks!"

I stood up and walked to the sink, holding the glass of water in my hand. Binuhos ko sa kamay ko ang tubig para maghugas. Kahit na nakatalikod ako ay alam kong nakatingin sila sa akin.

After washing my hands with a glass of water, I wiped them with a towel. Pagkabalik ko sa upuan ay nginitian ko si Kathlysse na hindi na magawang makangiti sa akin.

"Makeup dirt," I mumbled.

Kathlysse eyed the roll of tissue sitting right in front of me on the table. Mabilis kong naintindihan ang pinapahiwatig niya kaya dinugtungan ko ang palabas.

"Oh, there's a tissue here," I shrugged, pretending not to notice. "Anyway, water is better," I said to Kristan. "Thank you, Mister, for the glass of water..."

"Kristan," he said.

"You already met him last time," Kath reminded me.

"Oh. Right." I nodded. "Sorry. Thank you, Kristan."

I just ignored them after. Narinig ko pa ang mahinhin na boses ni Kathlysse nung pinalabas niya si Kristan. He left, but his last words lingered in me.

"I am always around," he said to her.

He won't last long here. I have no idea how he made it this far, but I am pretty sure that whatever the reason is, he still won't survive long. If he won't die of thirst under the sun, someone might still come after him.

Kristan doesn't belong to any clan. He is considered an insurgent, and anyone will try to come after him. When you don't have a clan, you are self-dependent. In difficult times, you have no one to rely on. You have no defense. You are an enemy.

Now that he's separated from me, that just means he is my enemy.

Tragic.

Tinawag na si Kathlysse dahil siya ang una sa photoshoot. I have no business to be outside this early, pero no'ng lumabas si Kathlysse ay sumama na rin kami.

I sat comfortably on the sun lounger, watching them on the beach. Although it was not snowing at the time, the temperature was still freezing. All the staff was covered in thick suits. Meanwhile, there was Kathlysse half-naked. She was obviously shivering.

"Miss Nathalia," said the set director. "It's freezing here. You can stay inside until your turn."

"No." I crossed my legs. "I'm good."

From a distant, I also saw Kristan. May hawak siyang makapal na towel habang nanunuod. Sa tuwing matatapos ang isang shot ay tatakbo siya para balutin ng towel si Kath.

"Is that her boyfriend?" the director asked. "Such a supportive man, then."

I watched them carefully from afar. Sa kabila ng panginginig ay tawa nang tawa si Kathlysse. She's enjoying the photoshoot. Everyone was having fun despite of the freezing weather.

After Kathlysse, it was finally my turn. Tumayo ako at nakangiting lumapit sa kanila. Hindi katulad kay Kathlysse, tila nataranta ang lahat no'ng lumapit ako. Everyone was panicking just to get the photoshoot started.

"Come on!" the set director rushed them more.

"It's fine," I said. "I can wait."

Sa isang banda ay nakita kong hinubad ni Kristan ang leather jacket niya saka pinasuot kay Kathlysse. Mabilis kong iniwas ang tingin ko.

"Ready!"

Before the photoshoot started, I looked back at them. Nakaakbay si Kristan kay Kathlysse habang nakatalikod sila at naglalakad pabalik.

They had already left before my turn had even begun.

I know that I could not feel the cold weather on my skin, but right at that moment, I felt my bones stiffen and numb.

I was not here for a show, but I found it disrespectful of them to leave me here all alone after I watched them get finished. It was utterly rude.

"Nathalia!" a voice pierced my ice-cold mind. Hestia gave me a wave. She was cheering and smiling. "You look so hot for this freezing beach! Go bitch!"

Everyone laughed and agreed.

"Pose now before your hotness even melts the freezing water and causes a tidal wave!" biro pa niya.

I laughed. "It doesn't work like that, Hestia."

But then again, I didn't need them to watch me. If they stayed here longer, they would freeze to death. At least, Kathlysse. She's vulnerable. So vulnerable.

Hestia was enough to cheer me up.

Natapos ang photoshoot na walang ginawa si Hestia kung hindi ang sumigaw. Dahil nakaayos din siya ay nag request siya kung puwedeng sumali sa akin. Pinayagan naman siya ng director.

Hestia and I stood there and gave them the best collaborative shots ever. It was the most fun photoshoot I've ever had. That just made me realize how much I neglected Hestia in this idea.

"Well done!" the director announced. "Can someone bring Kathlysse here? Nathalia, stay put for a collaborative photoshoot with Miss Merlington."

"No." I smiled. "Take my shot with Hestia instead."

"You need a collaborative—"

"And Hestia gave you that. What could you ask more?"

Saktong pabalik na sina Kristan at Kathlysse. Sinabi sa kanila ng director na tapos na ang photoshoot. Sa una ay umalma si Kath, pero no'ng mapatingin siya sa akin ay tila naintindihan niya agad.

"I see," she muttered.

Kathlysse turned her back and walked away.

Someone must remind her of her place here. She's not my colleague, nor are we in the same league. If she wants to work with me, she must earn it. She will never get it by faking her intention.

I told Hestia to pick up my things in the dressing room instead. Kathlysse must be waiting to confront me or, worse, to pretend that what I did was okay with her.

Dumiretso na lang ako sa rest room. On my way there, I felt someone's presence tailing me. Hindi ko napigilang mapangisi nung makilala ito.

I went into the restroom and intentionally left the door unlocked.

"I have no pen for autograph," sabi ko bago binuksan ang faucet para maghugas ng mga kamay.

Kristan slowly opened the door and got in here. I was aware that he had followed me all the way here, but what caught me off guard was when I saw his reflection on the mirror.

Hinarap ko siya saka sinuri ang katawan. He was wearing a silver ring. Iyon ang dahilan kaya ko siya nakikita sa salamin. Malamang na 'yon din ang dahilan kaya malakas ang loob niyang lumabas.

Who gave him that? Whoever it is, it is also why he made it this far. Who in the hell is helping him?

I looked at his eyes intently. Napalunok ako nung may mapagtanto habang palalim nang palalim ang pagtingin ko sa kanya.

"Nathalia..." He called my name.

I glared at him. "You know me all this time."

He nodded.

"W-why?" I asked.

The thought that he managed to make me believe that he had already forgotten me somehow brought a pang of pain. He knew me all this time.

When he met me in the restaurant, he remembered me.

When he met me in the dressing room, he remembered me.

When he watched Kathlysse working earlier and ignored me, he remembered me.

When he left with her, he remembered me.

When he left me, he remembered me.

He remembered me all this time.

I clutched his neck and pushed his back against the wall. My eyes were burning, and my fangs were peeking behind my lips as I lifted him to the ground.

"Y-you are a traitor..." I whispered, and that hurt me even more.

He just stared at me.

"Y-you said that you would never..." I couldn't finish my word as I struggled to talk in so much wrath.

I swallowed as I put my other hand on his chest.

"You have no heart, Kristan. I was supposed to be your heart."

A tear fell from my eye.

His blood was dripping on my hand as I slowly penetrated my fingers on his chest. It was as if I was digging my own fingers into my own chest because it was fucking hurting me, too. It was hurting me even more than he was hurting.

"Nathalia! Stop!" Hestia came in and pulled me away. "Holy shit!"

Napaupo sa sahig si Kristan na wala pa ring reaksyon. Nakatingin lang siya sa akin. Puno ng dugo ang kanyang katawan.

I sobbed.

"Let's go before someone even finds out."

Hestia got me out there.

I got betrayed... again.