Chapter 33: Fire

The good thing about being a vampire and a model at the same time is that you don't have to worry about your figure. You don't have to spend time in the gym or eat only diet food to maintain your shape. You just have to drink plenty of fresh blood.

Nitong mga lumipas na araw ay dugo lang ni Kristan ang hinahanap ng katawan ko. Minsan nga ay parang hindi ko na rin malasahan ang alak kung walang halo ng kanyang dugo.

He's spoiling me with his blood. He even said that he finds pleasure when he sees me drinking his own blood. I don't know how that works for him, but I cannot complain about that.

There were also distinguished changes in his physical appearance as the days passed by. His body was colder than before. Even his skin looked pale now. These are some of the characteristics of a heartless vampire.

That's normal. But I still contacted Lady Merryl about it.

"How are you feeling?" Lady Merryl asked him.

I was leaning on the countertop, casually drinking my third wine of the day, while listening to their conversation here in the kitchen.

"I'm good," Kristan simply answered while petting Lilly on his lap. Nakayuko siya kay Lilly bago sumagot uli. "I mean, I feel sensitive sometimes."

"Sensitive?" I asked.

"Nathalia. It's normal," ani Lady Merryl.

"Yeah. It's normal..." Kristan turned to me, his forehead creased in confusion. "I don't understand what's with this interrogation? Am I going to die now?"

"Of course not!" I retorted.

"Can you elaborate the cause of your sensitiveness lately, please?" kalmadong tanong ni Lady Merryl. "It's nothing serious, don't worry. I am just curious."

Kristan sighed. "My eyes are sensitive to lights—"

"I have a goddamn collection of shades, didn't you know that?"

"What else?" tanong ni Lady Merryl.

Kristan looked at me before saying, "I saved the address of this place on my phone."

"For what?" I arched a brow.

He swallowed. "Minsan... nakakalimutan ko kung paano umuwi."

"What the fuck, Kristan?!" I blurted out and almost spilled the wine on my chest. "Bakit ngayon mo lang ito sinasabi? These may not matter to you, but..."

I couldn't finish my words. The frustration was eating me up. I know that my reaction was unnecessary, knowing that nothing about what he said yet could be something I should be worried about.

"Is this a sign that I am dying?" tanong uli ni Kristan.

Lady Merryl laughed. "Of course not."

"Am I normal?"

"Honestly speaking, heartless vampires are far from normal," ani Lady Merryl na kinatahimik ni Kristan.

"I-I don't think you worded that right, Lady Merryl." I bit my bottom lip when I noticed how his expression turned sad after he heard that. "Heartless vampires are not different from us."

Nothing about the next part of conversation did bring back his mood. Halos wala ng imik si Kristan buong usapan. Kung hindi tango ay iling lang ang sagot niya. I kind of felt like he didn't just say anything more that could trigger us.

Lady Merryl left, but she informed me about the big event for tomorrow. Siya ang make up artist ko. Sabi niya ay siya na rin ang nag design ng susuotin ko. Good. I didn't really like the other Nathalia.

Hinatid ko sa parking lot si Lady Merryl. Pagbalik ko ay naabutan kong nakaupo sa sahig ng sala si Kristan. Pinapakain niya si Lilly na bagong ligo.

I cleared my throat. "Can you be my personal assistant tomorrow?"

Napatingala siya sa akin. Halata ang gulat sa kanyang mukha.

"Tomorrow's event will be one of the highlights of my career." I sat on the floor, hugged my knees, placed my chin on top, and patted Lilly's head. "Ayokong may ibang nakapaligid sa akin."

"You are just saying that because you think I feel bad about myself," he chuckled, shaking his head. "You heard Lady Merryl. I am not capable of being around you, especially on occasions like this. Baka ako pa ang makasira."

"I am not asking here, Mr. Admiral."

He still shook his head. "I'm sorry, Nathalia. I'm scared that I might ruin your moment. But I will be there, watching over you. I would rather stay away and watch you from afar than be with you."

I sighed. "Please, be more careful this time."

"I will. Thank you." Kinuha na niya si Lilly pati ang pagkainan nito bago tumayo. "She's full. Magpapahinga muna siya sa kwarto ko. You should too."

Naiwan akong nakaupo sa sahig. Bigla tuloy akong nagsisi na humingi pa ako ng tulong kay Lady Merryl. Pero ngayong alam na ni Kristan, alam kong mas magiging maingat siya.

I know it's hard to accept these changes at first. Eventually, he will get used to it. He will be more aware and knowledgeable about the world he lives in. That's what matters right now.

I left my place early morning the next day. Pinagsabihan ko naman si Kristan na hanggat maaari ay huwag munang pumunta sa venue. Hintayin muna niya si Hando kung ano ang task na ibibigay sa kanya.

Habang inaayusan ako ni Lady Merryl ay pumasok bigla si Hestia na nakasimangot. Umupo siya sa tabi ko saka nagsalin ng alak sa baso at diretsong uminom.

"What happened?" tanong ko.

"Boys again?" Lady Merryl teased.

"Someone leaked a rumor that Dylan would be your partner for the event later," balita niya na hindi ko na rin kinagulat. "This should be your moment! Eepal na naman siya!"

"That's not an issue at all. I am going to make sure that no one can steal the spotlight from our lady," Lady Merryl assured, which made me smile. "The runway will be graced again by Nathalia Cardinal. A once-in-a-lifetime star."

"Let us not forget about Kathlysse Merlington," Hestia reminded us, which was needed. "This is not just about Nathalia and neither a competition. This is a celebration."

I had to remind myself about that. This event was about empowering women and acknowledging their hard work in a world ruled by patriarchy.

I was finally set after hours of preparation.

I turned around in front of the mirror, feeling my spaghetti strap V-neck high slit slip crimson red dress patterned with small diamonds, paired with my ruby diamond earrings. My chestnut brown hair was styled in a messy bun.

"How do I look?" I asked Hestia.

She rolled her eyes. "I don't need to say it. I'm sure na sasabihin din nila sa labas. Are you sure na wala kang problema kay Terrence— I mean, Dylan Carter?"

"That's the least of my concerns," I said, pursing my lips. "Have you seen Kristan yet?"

"Wait. Is he attending?"

I nodded.

May kumatok sa pinto kaya pinagbuksan ito ni Lady Merryl. Behind the door was a man in a formal black attire— Dylan was smiling at me. Kumintab ang kanyang hikaw nung pumasok sa loob.

"Here we go again..." Hestia murmured. Tumayo na siya saka tumikhim. "I will go ahead. Good luck guys."

"I should go, too," ani Lady Merryl.

"Will you be around?" I asked her because I really wanted her to watch. Sigurado akong hindi lang ako ang makakatanggap ng papuri, pati ang dress niya na ginawa para sa akin.

"You are everywhere, darling..." Hinaplos niya pa ang braso ko bago umalis. "It's impossible to escape without your name being dragged around."

Naiwan ako sa tapat ni Dylan. He casually stood in front of me, as if he didn't threaten me last time we talked. Tumikhim siya saka binasa ang pang-ibabang labi na parang hindi alam ang sasabihin.

"I'm not going to linger around, don't worry. I just want to take you to the venue. That's all."

"Why would you linger around if you were not even invited in the first place?" Tinalikuran ko siya para kunin na ang purse ko. "I'm done. How about Kathlysse?"

"She's in the car now, waiting for you."

"Okay." Nilagpasan ko siya saka na naunang lumabas ng dressing room. Mabilis naman na sumunod siya sa akin at pinantayan ang paglalakad ko.

He held my hand. I just let him.

I should have worn gloves.

There was a black limousine car parked outside. Pinagbuksan ako ng pinto ni Dylan. Pagkapasok ko ay nakangiting sumalubong sa akin si Kathlysse.

"Oh, my god. I still cannot believe this is happening," she giggled as she moved closer to me. "I'm honored to walk with you, Lady Nathalia. So honored."

"You look so pretty!" I exclaimed, which was not staged at all. She really looked so pretty in her white dress. She reminds me of a famous and iconic model from the past.

She blushed, and I think I made her feel uncomfortable.

"Can we take a picture?" she asked.

"Sure!"

Nagmadali siyang kunin ang kanyang cell phone. Nasa tabi ko si Dylan kaya pati siya ay damay sa picture. Meron din namang kuha na kami lang ni Kathlysse.

"Is it okay to post it now?" she asked. "Wait. You haven't posted your look yet."

"No. It's okay."

"I will just post it later," she smiled and kept her phone. "I don't want to spoil the surprise."

Kahit na nitong mga nakaraang araw ay halos si Kathlysse ang kasama ko sa preparation, hindi pa rin ako masanay-sanay sa walang tigil niyang bibig. She's worse than Hestia. But I don't find it that annoying. Just a little bit.

Kinapa ko sa pouch ang cell phone ko. Naalala ko bigla na nakalimutan ko pala ito sa bahay.

Where's he now?

We finally arrived at the venue. The car stopped in front of the red carpet. Hindi pa man kami lumalabas ay hindi na magkamayaw ang mga photographer sa pagkuha ng pictures.

"I will never get used to this kind of crowd," Kathlysse whispered, and I felt her tenseness. "Maybe they know that I am with you..." She turned to me. "Let's meet them?"

Si Dylan ang unang lumabas ng sasakyan. Naglahad siya ng kamay sa akin na tinanggap ko naman. Mabilis na humawak siya sa bewang ko. Nakangiting kumaway ako sa mga tao.

The three of us walked on the red carpet. Napansin kong kinakabahan pa rin si Kathlysse kaya hinawakan ko ang kanyang kamay. Napatingin pa siya sa akin pero pinanatili ko ang tingin sa mga tao habang kumakaway.

There was a point on the long red carpet where we had to stop and let the photographers take every angle of us. I loved this part so much because I had no bad angle.

I winked at the camera before I removed the pin on my hair. My wavy hair fell on my back perfectly. The photographers went wild with their lenses.

"Lady Nathalia. Look over here!"

"Lady Nathalia, turn around!"

"You are freaking drop-dead gorgeous, Lady Nathalia!"

"Look here, Queen!"

One of the organizers finally gave us the sign to proceed. Mabilis na hinarang kami ng dalawang babaeng may hawak na microphone. Oh, my feels. I almost forgot about the interview part.

"I shall leave now. See you around, Nathalia..." Dylan whispered in my ears. He kissed my cheek before he left. He left everyone screaming because of what he did.

"How are you, gorgeous ladies?"

I was pretty good and straightforward, if not witty, with my answers. They were too focused on me that they almost forgot that Kathlysse was here too. So I brought her up with my answer, and finally, they acknowledged her, too.

"What this celebration means to you?" they asked me.

"I am in anything that involves empowering women like myself. I know the struggle of being a woman in this industry. Everything is an issue. You have to strive harder for them to see you. I know that a lot of women experience this, too. Not just in the modeling industry. It's everywhere. I stand here as proof that women are more capable than society has labeled them."

I smiled when the crowds clapped for me.

The interviewers were professional not to include questions about my personal life. This event was not just made for me anyway. Kathlysse received warm applause too.

We were finally escorted inside the venue. Mas tahimik dito. Maraming bumati sa amin ni Kathlysse. Marami ring nagpa-picture. Palinga-linga ako sa paligid.

"Are you looking for someone?" Kath asked.

I shook my head. "Are you good now?"

She smiled. "Thank you for that."

Ngumiti rin ako.

The program has started. Nakaupo lang kami ni Kathlysse habang minsan ay pumapalakpak. May mga pagkakataon na napupunta sa amin ang camera kaya kumakaway kami.

It was fun.

The event passed smoothly. I felt more comfortable with Kathlysse now.

There was an after-party which I also attended with Kathlysse. Hindi na live on television ang part na 'to kaya malaya na ang lahat. I was enjoying my drink with the other ladies.

"You are so tall!" one of them commented on me.

"Do you have a brother?" the short hair woman chuckled.

I roamed my eyes for the fifth time since I got here. There was no trace of him. I even doubt if he's allowed here. He said that he would watch over me from afar. How far is he? I cannot see him!

"Hey there, ladies!"

"Mr. Carter!"

Tumabi sa akin si Dylan. Nagsalin din siya ng alak sa baso.

"That was a good interview," he commended. "Are you even aware that the way you removed the pin on your hair is making more noise than the event?"

I leaned my back on the chair. Pasimple ko ulit ginala ang tingin sa paligid.

Where the hell is he?

Mas mabuting hindi na lang siya nag-attend kaysa mag-attend siya nang hindi nagpapakita. Naramdaman ko ang braso ni Dylan sa likod ko.

I turned to him. "Have you seen my manager?"

"I saw him talking to journalist earlier. I don't know where is he now." Uminom siya sa alak na hawak kaya nabasa ang kanyang labi. "Is there a problem?"

I bobbed my head. Hindi ako mapakali sa upuan ko. Mayamaya ang pagsulyap ko sa paligid. Napansin na rin 'yon ni Dylan.

"I saw him outside," he said out of nowhere.

"You did?"

He casually nodded.

So... he was really watching me from afar. That's good. Ngayon ay alam kong andito nga siya. Pero... masama bang magpakita siya kahit na isang beses lang?

Never mind. He's good.

I put my mind at ease and just enjoyed the party. Hinila rin ako ni Dylan para sumayaw. Nakahawak siya sa bewang ko habang nakatingin sa akin. I just looked over her shoulder where Kathlysse was dancing with an actor.

"Did I already apologize to you?" Dylan suddenly asked.

I put my attention on him. "Are we really going to talk about that here?"

"I cannot talk to you outside. You don't let me."

"Didn't you just threaten me the last time we talked?" I smiled at him scornfully. "Never mind. Would you mind escorting me back to my seat now?"

"Nathalia..." His voice was pleading.

Napakuyom ang kamao ko nong maramdaman na parang sinasakal ako. Ang kwintas ko ang dahilan. Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa balikat ni Dylan. Hindi naman niya 'yon napansin.

Shit. Not here, please.

"I'm still in love with you, Nathalia."

My hands began to tremble. That's when he just noticed it.

"Are you good?"

I wanted to ask him to take me out and away from this place, but I couldn't utter a word anymore. Gamit ang natitira kong lakas ay tinulak ko siya at tumalikod.

Napatingin ako sa kamay ko. Nagbabago na ang kutis ko.

Fucking hell! I didn't even use my necklace that long!

"Nathalia—"

Naputol ang sasabihin ni Dylan nung may sumigaw. Nagsimulang magtakbuhan ang mga tao. Paglingon ko sa likod ay halos mabalutan na ng usok ang paligid. May malaking apoy.

"Let's get out of here!" Dylan grabbed my hand.

No'ng napansin ko na tinatahak din namin ang daan na tinatahak ng karamihan ay nagpumiglas ako. Hindi niya ako binitiwan. Nagawa kong makapagsalita.

"Find another exit," I whispered, hoping he still heard me despite all the screams.

It was a relief when he shifted our direction somewhere else. It led us to a back door, but it was locked. He was forced to wreck it so we could go out.

Napunta kami sa parking lot.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

He turned to me and I saw how his eyes slowly widened. Sa sobrang gulat pa niya ay napahakbang siya paatras at hindi agad nakapagsalita.

That reaction of him made me feel worse than my current situation. He got scared of me. The man who claimed to be in love with me got terrified of my physical appearance.

Of course, he will!

"W-what happened— Nathalia..." he tried to touch me, but I flinched and shook my head.

I could already feel the tears looming around my eyes.

I was not hurt that he got scared of me. I got hurt that he somehow became a clear proof that no one would love me nor accept me if I looked like this— wrinkled, ugly, and shit.

Kristan just lied to me.

Pinigtas ko ang kwintas ko bago suminghap.

"I am going home..."

He didn't say anything. Hinayaan niya lang akong makalayo.

May isang sasakyan ang huminto sa harapan ko. Natanaw ko sa loob si Hando kaya pumasok ako sa likod. Yumuko na lang ako.

"Did anyone see you?" he asked.

"Only Dylan."

"Good."

Was I just sensitive, or what he said was really an indirect insult? That it was better if no one saw me in this condition. That I was good until someone found out.

"Where is Kristan?" I asked.

"I don't know. Take some rest."

Tahimik na lang ako buong biyahe. Hinatid niya ako sa building na tinutuluyan ko. Bago ako tuluyang lumabas ng sasakyan ay tinanong niya pa ako ulit.

"Are you sure no one aside from Dylan saw you?"

"Kristan once did." I smiled bitterly. "Unlike Dylan, he managed to fake that it was okay."

I slammed the door closed. Pagkapasok ko ng elevator ay mas bumagsak ang pakiramdam ko. Hindi ko maatim na tingnan ang sarili dahil nandidiri ako.

Pagdating ko sa bahay ay agad akong nagbukas ng TV. Ang unang bumungad sa akin ay isang clip ng lalaking tumatakbo palabas ng nasusunog na building. It was Kristan carrying Kathlysse on his arms. She was obviously unconscious.

I turned off the TV.

I went into my room and tried my best not to cry.