Chapter 29: Against Anyone

I should have known.

I should have known that after the confrontation with my father earlier, it wouldn't stop right there. I should have seen this one coming. I should not have let Kristan hover around without me. I knew that I couldn't warn him about my father and the conflict between us which involved him, but I should have been there for him instead.

After pulling him into my room and away from my father's unjust decision, I locked the door and leaned my back against it. He sat down on the edge of my bed, rested his elbows on his thighs, and ran his fingers through his hair.

I still couldn't utter a word. Pakiramdam ko ay pagod na pagod ako kahit na ang ginawa ko lang naman ay sagutin si Papa sa harapan ng lahat.

My heart was shrinking in my chest, tightening and clenching that it almost felt like I had just escaped a life and death situation. I've never felt this scared for a long time.

I got so scared that my words wouldn't be enough to save him. Paano kung ganoon na nga? Paano kung kahit na anong sabihin ko ay hindi ko napigilan si Papa? I couldn't imagine what would happen.

"You should have not interfered." Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin. Tumindig ang kanyang tingin sa paraan na parang gustong baliin nito ang pasya ko. "You didn't have to."

It seemed like the intensity of what happened was just slowly sinking in me. Nanlalambot ang mga tuhod ko na parang kahit na isang hakbang ay bibigay ang mga ito.

"I had to save you," I whispered.

He was just a victim of my father's vile plan. Humantong sa ganoon ang lahat nang dahil din sa akin kaya nararapat lang na ipagtanggol ko siya. Walang alam si Kristan sa mga nangyayari sa paligid niya.

"That's just wrong," he mumbled, looking down at his feet. "You have a reputation and image to protect, and standing up for a servant like me will not look good for you. Especially against your father."

I get it. I get that I stooped so low and even threatened my own father just to spare his life. I understand that my recent actions were unusual and didn't seem like me. I was aware of everything.

"I know that you are a good woman, Nathalia. You are far more different than what they see on the screens of their gadgets. You are more than a face of inspiration for so many young women. You are also a good friend, daughter, and sister to your brothers."

I wanted to laugh because everything he said was a lie. I have never been good to anyone. Not even to myself. I have countless regrets that I just chose to bury behind and pretend that I am brand new.

I am far from the good woman that he thought I was.

Sinubukan niya akong hawakan pero umiwas agad ako. Ayokong maramdaman ang haplos niya dahil ayokong kumalma. Ayokong mawala agad ang galit ko kay Papa dahil hahantong ito sa isang pagsisisi— hindi ko dapat ginawa 'yon.

"You can still make it right, Nathalia," he said with his low and calm voice. "Lord Severo is your father. Hindi tama ang mga sinabi mo sa kanya para lang ipagtanggol ako. Surrender me. I will be fine."

I shook my head. "You don't know what you are talking about, Kristan."

"Maybe. But I know that by doing so, you will regain yourself."

Regain myself to them by losing him? Fucking hell, no.

He tried to touch my face, but I flinched and walked past him. Dumiretso ako sa balkonahe para suminghap ng sariwang hangin. I gripped the railings and gawked at nothing, just like what I feared earlier.

I feared that if I lost him, I would go back to nothing again.

I cannot go back to nothing now that I have something.

I am currently venturing into a new era in my life.

Naramdaman kong tumabi siya sa akin. May malaking pagitan sa aming dalawa na alam kong sinadya niya dahil ayokong mahawakan siya.

He sighed. "The way he looked at me... parang kilala niya ako. He looked so terrified. But he also looked like he wanted to talk to me."

That's weird. A human should feel nothing but scared of vampires like us. The way Kristan described him made me question who it was. Who was the human?

"Where did you see him?" I turned to him as I anticipated for details.

"Outside the walls." Yumuko siya nung gumapang sa harapan niya si Lilly. Binuhat niya ito saka humarap sa akin. " I was looking for you. Mabuti na lang iniwan ko si Lilly rito."

"Then?"

"I went too far, and I saw a young boy riding his bike." Even though his main focus was on his cat, I could still feel how that scene affected him. "It just happened. I don't know. I lost it."

I see. My father did really manipulated him to do that. Hindi talaga mapipigilan ni Kristan ang kanyang sarili kung si papa na ang kumokontrol sa kaniya.

"Nathalia..." Tumingin siya sa akin kaya nakita ko ang pagsisisi sa kanyang mga mata. "I failed you. I failed to control myself."

Hindi ako agad nakagalaw. Nagawa niyang hawakan ang kamay ko para haplusin. Parang pinaparamdam niya sa akin na ayos lang siya.

How can he be okay when I am so scared and angry at the same time? That doesn't look fair to me. Ayokong mawala siya habang siya naman ay kusang kumakawala.

"You can have another slave after me—"

I slapped him hard on his face. Hindi natinag ang tingin niya sa akin.

"Those were the foulest words I have ever heard," I said what's in my head. "Ayokong marinig pa uli ang mga salitang 'yan, Kristan."

If only I could ask him to take his words back. Have another slave after him? That's bullshit because I've never wanted a slave in the first place. Now that I am starting to embrace it, he will casually say to let him go?

"Surrender me..." he begged.

He got another slap from me.

"You have no right to impose an order on me, Mr. Admiral."

"W-what do you want me to do?"

My lips quivered as I quickly thought of the only thing he could do for me. It was obviously the reason why all these happened.

"Stay with me..." I whispered.

Hindi siya sumagot. Tinitigan niya lang ako na parang tinitimbang ang mga salita ko. Binaba niya si Lilly bago muling humarap sa akin.

"Stay with me or I will kill you with my own hand."

I wasn't even joking.

He chuckled. "Both look promising to me."

"So... will you?"

"If that's what you want, I am here to stay with you, milady."

His words didn't feel enough to push away my worries. I pulled him and hugged him tightly. I hugged him so tight that it felt like I would go with him if someone took him away.

That affirmation made me feel relieved. At least, knowing that standing up against my father for him didn't feel like a waste of effort. And that brought me back to reality where I started a feud with my father.

I really hated being associated with my family's issue, but I have become the issue now. I have a pathetic issue with my father and my servant.

I barely remember when I started to be brave or what triggered it, but I knew to myself that standing up against my father was the bravest thing I had ever done so far.

That was stupidly brave of me.

I never imagined confronting my father just to oppose his idea or, worse, scowling at him for being the worst father the world had bestowed to someone. I just did it.

I was never the good daughter of the family nor someone as noble as my brother— Oscar. Hindi rin naman ako naging pasaway gaya ni Brixton.

Noon pa man ay simple lang talaga ang gusto ko— maging malaya. Malayang magpasya para sa sarili. Malayang pumili sa kung ano ang gusto ko. Malaya sa lahat ng bagay.

Gaya ng plano ko ay nanatili lang kami ni Kristan sa loob ng kwarto ko. Nilalaro niya si Lilly na bagong ligo. Ako naman ay pinuslit ang cell phone ko para balitaan si Hando na babalik na rin kami mamaya.

I would rather be stressed at work than be stressed in here. At least ako ang masusunod sa mundo ko roon. Hindi katulad dito na masyadong maliit at mahigpit para sa akin.

"Isn't it weird that I haven't seen a single vampire holding a cell phone here?" tanong Kristan saka binuhat si Lilly para ipatong sa kama ko.

"Gadgets are not allowed here. What do you expect from my father and his classic rules?"

It was rare for a vampire to enjoy modern technology or live with it. Most of us would prefer to live in the old age and ignore the current changes. I belong to the low percentage of vampires who adapt.

"I see. But I think it would be good for him to try it," he muttered, sounding like a mock.

Natigilan ako sa paggamot ng cell phone. "What do you mean?"

"When was the last time he saw himself in the picture?" Ngumisi siya sa akin. "If your father only knew how good-looking he was, I think he would be less grumpy."

"Stop!" I burst into laughter.

"What?" Natawa rin siya. "That's a compliment."

"I know." I put my phone down. Lumapit ako kay Lilly na kasalukuyang dinidilaan ang sarili. "But a good look is not included on the list of compliments my father accepts."

Napansin kong humahaba na ang kuko ni Lilly. Mas madali na lang makukulayan. Mukhang hindi lang ako ang kailangan ng make over pagbalik.

"How ironic knowing his daughter lives for such compliment."

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "So... ano ang pinapalabas mo?"

He shrugged.

"I never forced someone to compliment me, Mr. Admiral." Inirapan ko siya. "I get that effortlessly. Plus, I don't even feel flattered anymore. I also think that I have already heard all the positive words. The dictionary is running out of words to describe me."

"Good." He chuckled, shaking his head. "May I ask something?"

"You are already asking."

"Where's your Mom?" he asked.

Natigilan ako. "I don't know."

Tumihaya si Lilly para mas makamot ko ang kanyang tiyan. Nakataas pa ang kanyang mga paa. Ambisyosa talaga ng pusang 'to.

"Is she..."

"She's alive, for sure. I just don't know her whereabouts."

If my father told the truth that mom was finally showing up after a long time, there must be something else. She didn't just disappear. My own father and the Seniors exiled her.

Why would she do that to Brixton?

I remember that we were doing just fine. Kahit na noon pa man ay pansin ko nang mailap si mama pagdating kay Brix. She didn't talk to him the way she spoke to us. But I don't think she hated him. Then one day... she just decided to... do that.

"I'm scared..." Kristan whispered. He was lying and staring at the ceiling. "I'm scared because I don't think I can ever repay you for everything you have done to me."

"You don't need to repay me. Just suffer with me."

He sighed and shut his eyes.

Humiga rin ako sa kama. Sa gitna namin ay natutulog si Lilly.

I stared at the ceiling. I was lying in bed with a man and a cat. If the old Nathalia could talk to me, she would just simply flip the bed and throw us outside. Or worse, cut Lilly's throat and dry her blood.

Mula sa pagkakatihaya ay tumagilid ako paharap kay Kristan. He was lying on his stomach with his head tilted on my direction. His lips and eyes were closed.

"Salamat." Bumukas ang kanyang mga mata na saktong nakatingin sa akin. "Salamat sa pagligtas sa akin."

"You got scared, right?"

He slowly nodded.

Nilipat ko sa likod ko si Lilly saka humiga sa tabi ni Kristan. Hinawakan ko ang kanyang pisngi habang nakatingin sa kanyang mga mata.

"Your father is really terrifying."

"I am scarier than him."

"I can handle you."

I pressed my thumb against his soft red lips and slowly cut the bottom one with the edge of my nail. As soon as his blood dripped on my nail, I leaned forward to kiss him.

His blood became my favorite drink.

His scent became my favorite perfume.

His lips became my favorite shade of red.

I think... he's becoming my favorite person.

I have a new favorite.

I brought him back here just for realization and answer. Gusto kong maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Gusto kong malinawan kung tugma ba ang nasa isipan ko at ang nararamdaman ko.

I opened the door when someone knocked. Napasinghap ako nung biglang yumakap sa akin si Hestia saka umiyak. Hinila ko siya sa loob para isarado ang pinto.

"I saw that!" Hinarap niya ako saka hinawi ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. "I have known you as a brave and independent woman. But never have I thought of you confronting your father like that!"

"If you really knew me, you know that you will never know me." I chuckled.

"I was so scared for you. I know that Lord Severo is your father. But that's our fucking leader, and you scowled at him! You fucking threatened our leader!"

"Leader?" I sighed. "I'm the leader of my own life."

Hinampas niya ako sa braso. "Stop being stupidly brave!"

Napangiwi ako nung maalala na hinawakan 'yon ni Braun. Nandiri ako bigla.

My phone beeped. That quick sound gave me a relief. Ibig sabihin no'n ay naroon na ang piloto at puwede na kaming umalis ngayon din.

"After scolding your father, you have your phone turned on in this place." Pabagsak na umupo si Hestia sa kama. Buti na lang nahila agad ni Kristan si Lilly. "I mean, what is the worse thing you can even commit when you literally decided to talk back to your father?"

"I-it's my fault," ani Kristan.

Napalunok siya nung bumaling sa kanya si Hestia.

"It's not your fault that Nathalia is stupidly brave, Kristan. Alam mo bang halos lahat ng nakakausap ni Lord Severo ay nangangatog sa tuhod? Even his two boys." Saka humarap sa akin si Hestia. "And there goes the bad bitch in red dress."

Kinuha ko ang cell phone ko para i-check ang notification. Habang si Hestia ay kung anu-ano pa rin ang sinasabi kay Kristan.

"Brixton is a scary man, pero tiklop pa rin kay Lord Severo. Imagine that? But there goes the bad bitch in red dress."

"Hindi ba dapat ganoon 'yon? He's their father."

Hestia laughed scornfully. "Yeah. Ganoon nga dapat. But there goes the bad bitch in red dress."

"I get it. I see why you are acting like this," dinig kong sabi ni Kristan. "Hindi ko rin naman mapapalagpas kapag sinaktan niya si Nathalia."

Natigilan ako sa paggamit ng cell phone. Bumaling ako kay Hestia na nakanganga habang nakatingin kay Kristan.

"A-ano ang ibig mong sabihin na hindi mo palalagpasin kapag sinaktan si Nathalia? Ni Lord Severo?"

"Of course..." Dinaanan niya ako ng tingin at nginitian. "I would protect her."

I first said that I don't feel flattered with compliments anymore. Maybe, sometimes. Maybe, I still do. But what he said was not even a compliment, but I felt an intense heat rushing on my face.

When did someone claiming to protect me become something to be flatter about?

"Against Lord Severo?" Hestia blurted out.

Kristan nodded. "Against anyone."

"Ha!" Hestia gasped. "Against the leader of the most powerful clan?"

"Even if it's against him."

Humiga si Hestia sa kama saka nilagay ang unan sa kanyang mukha. Narinig ko ang pigil na pagsigaw nito sa pagkadismaya.

I cleared my throat. "Prepare your things now. We will leave at any moment."

"Good!" Biglang bumangon si Hestia. Saka niya kami tiningnan ni Kristan. "I cannot stay here anymore. I cannot stand your bravery. Baka pati ako ay madamay."

She stormed out of my room and shut the door.

I laughed.

"She's really worried for you."

Habang pinapakain ni Kristan si Lilly ay naglakas-loob akong lumabas ng kwarto. Pababa na ako ng hagdan nung maabutan kong paakyat naman si Oscar.

"I heard that you are leaving," sabi niya mula sa pinakababa ng hagdan. "Is that true?"

"I cannot stand the stress I am getting in this place."

He smiled and met me half way the stairs. May hawak siyang dalawang baso ng alak. Binigay niya sa akin ang isa. Nag-toss kami saka 'yon sabay na ininom.

"The Unus will start in a few days. Can you stay even for the opening day?" he asked.

I shook my head and returned the glass to him.

"We are leaving..."

He frowned. "How can I brag to everyone that I made Nathalia Cardinal stay?"

I laughed. "No way. Come here."

I opened my arms as he moved close to me. Saka ko siya niyakap nang mahigpit. I am suddenly reminded that I am his big sister, and I need to comfort him before I leave.

Our last conversation didn't really end well. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ko siya ulit makikita o kung ano ang madadatnan ko sa pagbabalik.

"I wish I could be as brave as you and Brixton," he whispered.

I gently tapped his shoulder. "You are already brave enough to let her go."

I don't think I could be as brave as him to let go.

"I wish I could be braver to take her back."

I faced him. "Then... I am waiting."

He nodded.

I caressed his face. "See you soon, brother."

"Ako na ang bahala rito. Please be safe, sis Nathalia."

Saktong pababa na ng hagdan sina Hestia at Kristan. Napansin ko pang pinilit ni Hestia na ipabuhat kay Kristan 'yung bagahe niya.

"Mauna na kami, Master Oscar," paalam ni Hestia.

Oscar nodded. "It's a pleasure to meet you again, Hestia."

Yumuko lang si Kristan kay Oscar bago dumiretso sa baba. Nauna na sila ni Hestia sa labas.

"He seems cool," Oscar said.

"He is." I smiled. "By the way... gusto kong maging updated sa mga mangyayari. Andyan pa ba 'yung cell phone na binigay ko sa inyo dati?"

Ngumiwi siya. "I think I left it somewhere. That was five years ago."

"How about Brixton's?"

Humalakhak siya. "Hindi ba binasag niya? Lagi ka raw kasing nagse-send ng mga walang kwentang pictures."

"W-walang kwen..." Napabuga ako ng hangin. I mean, what would I expect from that man? He doesn't appreciate art! "Fine. Whatever."

"See you soon, Nathalia."

"Balitaan mo na lang ako."

He nodded.

"Wait. You can have my phone—"

"No!" Napalakas ang pagkakasabi niya noon. "I mean... baka mahuli ako."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You don't like my selfies, too?"

"Hindi naman sa gano'n..." Kumamot pa siya sa batok.

"Nathalia. Let's go!" sigaw ni Hestia.

I sighed.

"Anyway, balitaan mo na lang ako. And..." I swallowed. "If Brixton will really attend, please watch over him. It's just... I don't know. I have a bad feeling that something might happen."

"I will..."

I smiled.

"Send my regards to our mother."