Chapter 26: Piece of Glass

I was sitting on the edge of my bed while watching Kristan feed Lilly on the floor. The attention he was giving to her was making me more stressed.

"You are stuffed!" He gave her a gentle pat on the head. As if eating the food you didn't prepare yourself was something to be proud of. "Aright. I will just clean up. Stay put, Lilly."

He carried Lilly and placed it on the side as he cleaned the mess. I waited for him to realize that I was also here, but he finished cleaning and still had no attention for me.

I live for attention, and being deprived of it feels like dying.

I'm dying, and he's unaware.

I sighed in silence as I stood and walked to the balcony. The cold morning breeze embraced my bare face and swayed my hair on the back. Humawak ako sa railing saka tinanaw ang malawak na hardin.

My vampire sickness is getting more severe as I try to find the cure. Looking at it now, I don't think I will ever find the cure. Maybe just answer my questions— a thousand questions.

It's absurd how a thousand questions only need one answer.

There's no such thing as vampire sickness. I just invented it because I don't know how to call it. It's a sickness because it gives me stress, questions, and unexplained feelings. It also makes me vulnerable and unaware. These are the sign of a frail vampire. I am not weak.

Naramdaman kong tumabi sa akin si Kristan pero hindi ko siya tiningnan. Gusto kong gayahin ang pagbabalewala niya sa akin.

"What's your reason for coming back here?" he questioned.

Questions after questions. It's getting tiring now. When will he learn to settle with what he knows and not to venture into more? If I am willing to share it, he won't need to ask me.

"This is my home."

"You don't look at home at all."

That's when I turned my attention to him. Nahuli ko ang kanyang tingin. Ginagalaw ng hangin ang kanyang buhok habang diretso ang tingin sa akin.

"What do you know about home? You don't even have a home!" I wanted to scream that, but I held my words and swallowed them all for the first time.

Fucking vampire sickness!

"Nathalia..." His stern look added weight to the seriousness of his voice while staring at me. "I can't forever live wondering about my past."

I was lost with words. Sa kagustuhan kong makakuha ng sagot sa mga tanong ko, siya naman ang napuno ng katanungan.

I shouldn't give a fuck!

"Y-you told me that..." He swallowed, and his next question swayed me. "You revived me. That means... I died first. How did I die?"

I looked away.

He didn't just die. My brother killed him.

How can I explain that to him?

This is vampire sickness— the feeling of being afraid that if he finds out about that, something about him will change. I don't want him to change.

"Nathalia..."

"I don't know the exact details. I just found you lying on the ground," I said what I just saw.

That's exactly what happened. Nakita ko na lang siyang walang buhay sa sahig at nakahiwalay ang puso mula sa kanyang dibdib. Except that I knew the reason behind, but I wasn't there it was executed.

"I see..." he sighed.

I swallowed the guilt.

"Why did you revive me?" he asked next.

Okay. That's enough.

Naglakad na ako papasok sa kwarto. Saktong kumatok si Oscar kaya pinagbuksan ko siya ng pinto. Nakangisi pa rin siya sa akin.

"Can I borrow him?" Oscar asked him.

"Saan mo siya dadalhin?" tanong ko.

Mali ang sinabi ko. Wala dapat akong pakialam kung saan niya dalhin si Kristan gaya niya kay Celeste. Namukha tuloy na nag-aalala ako para sa kanya.

"Go," sabi ko na lang.

"Are you good?" my brother asked.

Hinarap ko si Kristan saka sinenyasan siyang sumama na siya. Sa una ay nag-alangan pa siya pero sumama rin. Hindi na niya nagawang ihabilin sa akin si Lilly pero alam kong kailangan. Siya lang ang nagpapakalma kay Kristan.

Oh, my feels. I feel like a mother of a growing kid— naïve and full of curiosity.

Yumuko ako para buhatin si Lilly na natutulog sa ilalim ng kama ko. Hindi gaya ng dati ay kalmado na siya kapag lumalapit ako at kahit na buhatin ko siya. Hindi na siya nagpupumiglas.

Maybe Kristan was right. Lilly's comfortable with me now.

That felt like a compliment.

Humiga ako at tinabi sa akin si Lilly. Nakatagilid ako habang hinawakan ang kanyang ilong. She looks so soft and vulnerable. I see why Kristan is so protective of her. She's being surrounded by preys.

"Lilly..." I felt something stuck in my throat. "I think..." I sniffed and didn't hold back this time. "Kristan is becoming something to me."

Fuck!

Really, Nathalia?

"He's something to me..." I smiled.

Admitting that gave me a kind of relief that I never thought I needed. It kind of lessens the weight on my chest. But it came with a new wave of fear.

No one should know.

Not even Kristan.

After admitting my favorite crime to a cat, I carried her downstairs, where a familiar guy greeted me. Mabilis siyang tumakbo sa harapan ko.

"Lady Nathalia!" nakangiting salubong ni Resty. Bumaba kay Lilly ang tingin niya. Napaatras siya at tila natakot. "W-what the fuck is a cat doing here?"

"That's not just a fucking cat, Mr. Escariaga." Dumating din si Mr. Nadija na galing sa kusina. He was showing the familiar grin Oscar showed to me earlier. "That cat is special to our lady."

"What's so special about a damn cat?" Resty blurted out. "Maybe a good source of blood, eh?"

"Two fucking men and not a sight of my favorite girl. What a tragic way of welcoming me back here." I gritted my teeth as I walked out.

I overheard their conversation as they followed me outside. I wanted peace of mind, but these mindless fuckers decided to ruin it with their nonsense queries about this cat.

Oh, my feels. This cat has been more scandalous than me.

"What makes that cat special to her?"

"Huh. Our Lady will raise hell if that cat gets hungry!"

"Tangina mo, Nadija. Niloloko mo ba ako?"

"Ulol. Mas importante pa sa 'yo ang pusa na 'yan!"

I stopped and turned around. Natigilan ang dalawa at tila napako sa kinatatayuan. Napalunok pa si Erikson saka pasimpleng siniko si Resty.

"Her name is Lilly," sabi ko.

Resty's eyes widened, but he didn't say a word. They stood in front of me, motionless and stiffened. But I don't mind good company, especially when I can use them as a source of information.

I smiled. "Come and walk with me, Aristotles."

Resty groaned. "Can we already forget about that?"

Habang naglalakad-lakad sa hardin ay sinubukan kong magtanong sa kanila. Pansin kong tipid ang mga sagot ni Erikson at si Resty naman ay halatang walang alam.

That's because Erikson Nadija is considered our cousin and closer to our family. There are things he knows that even I have no idea about. He's lingering in this place more than I do. His nose and ears could travel through walls.

"What? Lady Celeste isn't here anymore?" gulat na tanong ni Resty. "I see. Mukhang nagsawa na si Master Oscar. A new flavor. She has been a good servant, though."

I cringe. A flavorless woman, you mean? She's nothing compared to Celeste. Mukha hindi nga niya alam kung anong mundo ang pinasukan niya. Gosh. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na nagawa niya akong sagarin.

"That's right. Lady Feera replaced her," explained Erikson. "I don't know the reason behind it. But she's master Oscar's new servant."

Resty chuckled. "Malamang na gustong tumikhim ng bagong putahe ni Master Oscar. Na-excite tuloy akong magsawa rin si Brixton kay Astra!"

"Good luck waiting for that day," panunuya ni Erikson kaya napalingon ako sa kanya. Napatikhim naman siya saka tumingin sa ibang direksyon.

This fucker knows something and yet he decided to be silent about that. I mean, as he should. Hindi basta-basta ang mga nalalaman niya.

"Wait. Where's your slave?" tanong sa akin ni Resty.

Tumigil ako sa paglalakad saka humarap kay Resty. "Puwedeng pakihawakan mo muna si Lilly?"

He froze. "S-sure..."

Pinabuhat ko muna sa kanya si Lilly. Naramdaman kong nanginginig pa ang kanyang mga kamay nung tanggapin niya ito sa kanyang braso.

"Mr. Nadija..." I called him.

"Shit," I heard him cuss as if I startled him. Or maybe he already has a hint about my next intention. "What is it, milady?"

"I have a few words. Follow me."

I distanced myself away from Mr. Escariaga. Nung makalayo na kami ay mabilis kong hinarap si Erikson na nakayuko lang.

"What do you know?" I asked casually.

"About what?" pagpapatay-malisya niya.

I shrugged. "About Oscar and Celeste."

"Nothing." He shook his head. "I swear, I know nothing about them. Hindi naman kami laging magkasama ni Master Oscar. My task is to look after Lady Astra, appointed by Master Brixton."

I see. I think he's telling the truth.

"But..." I gulped. "What could be the reason?"

He looked straight into my eyes.

"It's for a greater reason, I think," he responded. "Long companion plants tree of memories. Memories bring feelings. Feelings are bounded by rules. Rules are rules."

I shook my head. "I don't see it that way. Oscar knows better."

"Then..." he sighed. "Hindi ko na alam. But it has been decided. Alam naman ni Master Oscar kung ano ang ginagawa niya."

If what Erikson said was true, then Oscar dodged the bullet.

"Being able to get yourself a servant is a dangerous privilege," Erikson joked.

That was his first joke that made me genuinely laugh.

That's true. Only those from a powerful family have the privilege of obtaining a slave. It should be for fun— having someone you can count on should be fun.

"Anyway... are you here for The Unus?"

I bobbed my head and cleared my thoughts. "I need to go before The Unus even takes place. My exposure is expensive. They can't afford it."

"Right!" he laughed.

Bumalik na kami kay Resty na mukhang nag-enjoy sa pag-aalaga sa pusa. He was playing with Lilly. Nagtatakbuhan sila at paikot-ikot sa mga bush.

"Time's up." Binuhat ko na si Lilly at pinagpagan ang mag dumikit na alikabok sa puti niyang balahibo. "I need to go back and meet my father."

Resty frowned. "I think I need a cat, too. They are fun."

"You don't have the strength to resist a cat's blood, Mr. Escariaga," pang-aasar ni Erikson. "You should go now and meet the Junior Squad. Mahiya ka naman kay Master Oscar!"

"Hays!" Sumimangot siya. "Bakit ba kasi sumama pa si Lady Astra kay Brixton? That asshole can easily complete the mission without her! Wala tuloy akong kasama sa pag-aayos!"

I cleared my throat. "Watch your words, Escariaga. You are talking about the next leader of our clan. No amount of hate can change that."

He scratched the back of his head and nodded.

Bumalik na ako sa loob. Sa bungad pa lang ay narinig ko na agad ang mga magiliw na tawanan na nagmumula sa dining hall. They are here.

"Lady Nathalia..." Mr. Billy greeted me as soon as I stepped my feet inside. "Your father has been waiting for you."

I nodded. Pinabantay ko muna sa kanya si Lilly bago dumiretso sa dining hall.

Naabutan kong paalis na rin ang mga Seniors ng Nightfall Clan. They are the leaders. I bowed my head as a way of respect.

"Lady Cardinal!" Mr. Wenson was the first one to greet me. "I'm pleased to see you again. This is such a rare phenomenon!"

They all laughed, so I smiled.

Out of all the five Seniors standing in front of me, Lord Trojan just bowed his head to me and walked past. I never liked that young Senior. Never will.

"I see why my son was running to get here," ani Lord Escariaga na binigyan ako ng isang yakap. "Welcome back, milady."

"Thank you, Lord Escariaga. Send my regards to Lady Tessa."

"Does this mean you will finally attend The Unus?" Lord Reggar asked after he hugged me. "We are already missing you around."

I just smiled.

After the Seniors left, I approached the last man standing. Nakangiti siya sa akin. Huminto ako sa harapan niya bago yumuko at binigyan siya ng mahigpit na yakap.

"Oh, my favorite girl..." he caressed my back. "I didn't expect you to come back this soon. I wonder."

I chuckled. "Nothing, Father. Just checking in."

We settled on the chair and enjoyed our first wine together after a long time. I was all smiles. This felt like the old days.

"How have you been?" he asked.

"I'm good. Not here for The Unus, though."

He laughed, ecstatic.

"Why not?" he asked. "You are already here."

I winced. "Aalis din kami agad. I just have a few words with my brothers. Unfortunately, Brixton isn't around. As usual."

"Oh. I see. Well. Brixton will surely attend The Unus."

Natigilan ako sa pag-inom dahil sa sinabi niya.

"Brixton will join The Unus?" I asked.

Father smirked before he sipped on his wine.

Nah. Kung matagal na akong hindi nakakasali sa pagdiriwang na 'yon, mas lalo naman ang lalaking 'yon. He despised anything about gathering more than I do. What's happening?

"The Unus will occur the day after tomorrow," Father said. "If you are still here by then, I want you to be there. I want my family to be complete after a long time."

My throat went dry.

"Your mother is also attending..."

I think I just lost my breath.

I haven't seen my mother for a long time. Not after that incident. Ang marinig na maaaring makita ko siya uli ay nagdulot ng kaba sa akin.

"But..." I paused as I gathered all my guts. "Mother is an exiled member of our clan. Brixton has a chance of attending, too. I don't think that's a good setting, Father. You know our history."

"Oh, my lady Cardinal. It's been a long time..."

I shook my head. "What mother did scar us forever. No time can heal that. Imagine what Brixton would feel!"

That history still confused the shit out of me. It's confusing and painful at the same time. After our Mother got exiled from our clan, we decided not to talk about her. It's as if she didn't exist.

"This is Unus, after all," Father said. "It's all about peace. It's about time."

Hindi na lang ako kumibo. Shit. Ayokong dumalo, pero kung may gano'ng mangyayari ay baka mapilitan ako. I cannot just let that to happen.

I stared at my father. What's he planning?

Pagkatapos naming magsalo ni papa ay umakyat na siya sa kanyang silid. Naiwan ako sa dining hall. Hawak ko ang walang lamang wine glass habang nasa malayo ang tingin.

I heard footsteps coming in my direction.

"Where's Kristan?" I asked without turning my head.

Oscar sat beside me. Kumuha siya ng wine glass at nagsalin din ng alak. Pabagsak niya 'yong binaba sa lamesa saka sumandal sa upuan.

"He's upstairs with Lilly."

"Where did you bring him?"

"I am training The Junior Squad. He watched."

I nodded as I observed his expression. He looked so bothered. I don't think it has something to do with Kristan. There must be something else.

"Do you know about all these?" I asked.

He shrugged and sipped on his drink. I noticed how hard his palm pressed around the glass. "Not exactly. I just overheard your conversation with father."

"So..." I lifted an eyebrow. "What do you think?"

He sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know..." he mumbled.

Our father's plan has never been apparent. He always catches us off guard. Malalaman mo na lang ito kapag nangyari na. That's why I'm scared of him sometimes. He's unpredictable.

I mean... Lord Severo Cardinal is really that scary.

"You never told him..." Oscar whispered.

"About?"

He glared at me. "Kristan. You never told him how he died. That young man is suffering from a never-ending question about his past."

"Does that even matter?"

"You didn't tell him. I guess that reason alone says it all," he said sarcastically. "Why would it matter if he knows about it or not?"

My fists were clenched on the table. He sounded offended for Kristan. That's something he already lost the right to after dropping Celeste.

"One of your bothers killed him—"

I jolted the long table, and it flew across the wall and crashed into pieces—the shattered pieces of glass and liquid wine scattered all around the place.

Oscar sipped on the wine glass he held, and the only thing that was left whole.

"Did you tell him?" I asked.

"Life has been rough lately, but I still enjoy it."

"Wala akong pakialam kung ano ang nangyari sa inyo ni Celeste at ayoko ring manghimasok ka sa amin ni Kristan. You have no right to question how I handle him."

He nodded. "Fair enough."

I stood and prepared to leave. "We are going to leave tomorrow."

"I saved Celeste."

"Good for her."

"But... I died in order to."

I smiled as I approached him. Yumuko ako, niyakap siya saka hinalikan sa ulo. Hinagod ko ang kanyang likod. Napabuntonghininga na lang ako.

"Only power can match another power," he mumbled. "That's all I could do."

Iniwan ko na roon si Oscar. Umakyat na ako sa kwarto ko. Naabutan kong nakaupo sa dulo ng kama ko si Kristan. Hawak niya ang isang binti ni Lilly.

"What happened?" I asked.

I gasped when I saw blood on one of her legs. I had to step back and ran to the cabinet to get some cloth. Nung makakuha ng damit ay dinaluhan ko si Kristan.

"Where did she get it?" I asked as I wrapped the cloth around her bleeding leg. "It's not that deep."

I looked at Kristan. Nakayuko lang siya at nakatingin kay Lilly. He didn't even try to cover Lilly's bleeding leg, which I found troublesome. He was still and unresponsive.

"Kristan..." I called his name.

I was worried.

He showed me his right clenched fist and unfolded it. There was a shattered piece of glass which was obviously why Lilly's leg was bleeding.

I was taken aback when I realized.

He was there.

"Will she be fine?" he asked.

He heard us.