Chapter 21: Be Composed

I returned to my penthouse instead. As soon as I push open the front door, Kristan was also coming out of his room. He just came out of the shower and looked fresh in his grey boxer shorts.

He stood there for a moment before his censorious look at me formed a crease on his forehead. Before he could even voice a question that I had no plans to answer, I swiftly passed him and went straight into my room.

Hindi na ako nag-abalang maghanap muna ng maisusuot bago pumasok sa shower room. I don't usually enter the shower room without bringing at least fresh undergarments, but I couldn't stand my smell anymore. Fucking hell. The longer I let his scent linger on my skin, the closer I am to pulling back to that shitty compound to slaughter all his men.

I am still frustrated and thirsty. One head didn't feel enough just cool me down. I should have killed them all and burned the entire place myself.

Be composed. That's what I always do. Be composed no matter how hard the circumstances or how deep you trip into the shithole. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing how affected you are. That's another win for them.

Binuhos ko sa katawan ko ang isang buong shower gel. Habang naghihilod ay pinupuno ko ng tubig ang bathtub. Nakadalawa na akong shower gel bottle pero walang pagbabago sa pakiramdam ko. I could still feel his nasty mark somewhere in my body. Damn. I had no idea where else he kissed me while I was unconscious.

I stood under the cold shower until it felt like I needed something intense. I twisted the shower into its warmest mode. I winced when I felt the hot water running down my skin. My skin felt burning, and it was unpleasant for the skin, but if I had to peel my skin just to wash away that jerk's smell thoroughly, I would gladly do it.

Guminhawa ang pakiramdam ko. Pagkasarado ko ng shower ay umuusok pa ang balat ko. That's when I decided to dip my body in the cold water on the tub.

When I was completely relaxed, I got to turn my shitty situation into something worthy. At least napatunayan ko nang hindi makapagkakatiwalaan ang lalaking 'yon. Hestia deserves so much better.

I lost track of time and when I got out of the shower, Kristan was sitting in my bed. Tumayo siya nung makita ako saka inabot sa akin ang tuwalya.

"Do you still have some errands?" he casually asked.

He walked into a private door which was the way to another room where I store all my clothes. I had no idea how he knew about that, but he's my friend... now. I have to be kind.

"May pupuntahan ka pa ba?" sunod na tanong niya.

"I have to meet Hestia," I said.

I sighed. He only handed me one towel. I literally use at least three towels, which he should have known first of all. I have a separate towel for my hair, my upper body, and my lower part. Nice try, though.

"Wasn't she the reason why you weren't here a while ago?" I don't think he's still asking me. This is more like an interrogation to me. "How about this?"

He appeared in front of me to show a floral dress. It was a simple above the knee dress. Tinapat niya pa sa kanyang katawan ang dress na parang sinusukat niya. Nangunot ang noo niya.

"Damn," he muttered as he turned to me. His eyes looked dazed. "This is the longest dress you've got in your clothes there. It doesn't look long still."

I smiled scornfully. I sat in my bed and crossed my legs as I looked up at him. "Why not get me some undergarments first? Since you are being too friendly, come on."

"Nah." Pinatong niya sa tabi ko ang dress na hawak. "Puwede na ang dress na 'yan. Don't you mind wearing sweat pants? I can lend you one."

"A red dress..." I cocked my head. "And black or grey sweatpants."

"I have white."

I nodded. "A red floral dress and white sweatpants from a sweet friend."

He nodded.

I rolled my eyes. Tumayo na ako saka kumuha ng mga underwear. I could feel Kristan watching me from my back as I put my panties on. Then, my bras. I played like I had a hard time clasping it from behind.

"Ugh," I groaned.

I smirked when I felt his hand touch my back. He quickly clasped my bras, but his hand remained on my shoulders. I nibble my bottom lip when he caressed my shoulder and down on my waist.

"Do friends kiss?" he whispered.

"I'm not certain—" A moan escaped my lips when he grabbed my butt cheeks. "Maybe... sometimes."

He moved his face closer to my nape. As soon as I felt his warm breath brushing against my skin, I pulled his hand from my waist to place it on my covered breast.

"We can consider it a friendly kiss," I whispered.

I was already turned on.

I was already cleaned, but I coveted him to set marks all over my body to replace whatever marked me first. I wanted him to cover me with his soft kisses until I felt brand new again.

He chuckled and gently bit my earlobes, finally hugging me. As soon as I felt his hard chest on my back, his hardness poked next, knocking and begging to be welcomed.

"I like reading these thoughts..." he whispered.

Get inside me. I intentionally thought.

"Where have you been?"

His question instantly dropped the intimate scene into the bloody cold floor. I was already feeling it, but if he could read my thoughts now, I only have three words— you are fucking annoying, unnecessarily irritating, pointlessly maddening, and fuck you.

I pushed him away and walked to my bed. Sinuot ko ang dress na kinuha niya para sa akin. Saktong nag-ring ang cell phone ko.

Inabot sa akin ni Kristan ang cell phone ko. He cleared his throat as he left my room. I sat in my bed and was still unsatisfied.

"N-Nathalia..." Hestia's voice was trembling. She found out something I already knew. "I-I just reviewed my sent text messages."

"Yeah. You texted me to come to your place—"

"I didn't!"

I rolled my eyes. Of course, she didn't.

She sobbed. "I-is he—"

"Are you in your condo? If not, let's meet there. I am on my way," and I ended the call.

Pinatuyo ko ang buhok ko sandali saka kumuha ng brim hat. I sprayed a bit of perfume. Sinuot ko ang sandals ko at kinuha ang susi ng sasakyan.

I suddenly got exhilarated to tell her about the good news, well, for me, but bad news for her.

Kristan stood from the sofa when I got out of my room. Mabilis niyang binaba si Lilly at dumiretso naman ito sa kanyang pagkain. Napansin kong nakabihis din siya. He was even wearing the necklace.

I threw the car keys at him. Sinalo niya 'yon at hindi na nagtanong pa. Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pinto saka kami sabay na lumabas. Hanggang sa pagsakay sa elevator ay hindi siya nagtanong.

"You didn't need to wear your necklace," I muttered.

Hindi naman kami magpapakita sa mundo. That's also the reason why I am wearing a brim hat. I've already had two worst experiences today, and I couldn't take another one.

We stopped on the parking lot and Kristan drove for us. I was sitting beside him and just staring outside the window. Nag-iisip ako ng panimula para kay Hestia. Ngunit napagtanto ko na walang kahit na anong pang-uri ang magpapabago na basura ang kasintahan niya.

Umayos ako ng upo saka tinuon sa diretsong kalsada ang atensyon. Napansin ko ang pagpitik ng mga daliri ni Kristan sa manibela.

"A friendship that never leaks secrets," he mumbled, prompting me of my words that had already slipped away from my head.

"Leak, not admit," I added.

"A friendship is all about being open and helping each other," he opposed with stress in every word. "It's sharing struggles and not playing a guessing game."

Hindi ako kumibo.

"You were almost naked—"

"Well, disastrously, I was deceived into going into a particular place where I got caught up in a tough situation where I passed out and then woke up in a stranger's bed, naked and with a man you barely know! Is that something you think you can do about?"

I watched his expression turn dark and cold. His jaw clenched, and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. It was complete silence after.

I bit my bottom lip and instantly regretted the way I said it. But then, he asked. It's just I don't think out of all the possibilities in his head. That's something he was expecting to hear from me.

"He's dead," I added as if that would relieve the situation.

Until we arrived at the building, he was dead silent. I told him to wait in the car. Mabigat ang mga hakbang ko palayo. Nilingon ko pa siya. He was looking at me with heaviness in his eyes.

I got into the elevator and up to Hestia's place. Pagkapasok ko pa lang ay alam kong nakainom na siya. Her eyes were muffled, not because she was greedy for blood, but because of crying too much.

"Do you want some drinks?" she offered.

She handed me a glass of alcohol before I could even sit down. I laid my back on the sofa as I gulped the liquid. She started crying again.

"You are beautiful but with a disastrous taste on men," I filled my glass again. "Out of all the trash, you ended up with the worst one."

"H-he's huge..." she sobbed.

I chocked on my drink and spilled some on my hand. I winced and stood to get a tissue on the side table. Pagkabalik ko sa upuan ay humahalakhak si Hestia.

"Huge dicks are better than good looks, don't you think?" she asked.

"Don't fool around. You fell for him."

Natigilan siya sa pagtawa. Suminghap siya saka tumango.

"Well, you should probably start to move on from now. He's gone."

"In which way?"

"Beheaded him." I crossed my legs and smirked at her. "Don't ask for proof."

"You should have brought his head as a trophy." She rose and motioned her arms around. "Puwede mo nang mapuno ng putol na ulo ng mga lalaki ang kwartong ito!"

I just bobbed my head. Good thing. She didn't look that affected. She will instantly overcome it if she's just trying to pretend. It's not her first time.

"So..." I sighed. "The papers for Hermison Island are already prepared."

She sat beside me. "Where is it?"

"What did you find out?"

She frowned and rolled her eyes. "I don't think this information is enough for you to give me that island. But..." Nagseryoso ang mukha niya.

I gulped.

She teared up. "I-is he really dead?"

"Spill it!"

I frowned when she started to cry again.

I don't get it. What is so special about that guy? Why is forgetting so hard for some? Why is forgetting someone who gave you nothing but agony is hard?

She wept this time.

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang patahanin muna siya. Sabagay ay nangyari pa lang 'yon kanina. Kailangan siguro niya ng ilang araw bago tuluyang matanggap.

Hestia has been with me since then. She was there when I first met Terrence, and she was there when he died. We have already had a long history. She's one of the few things I don't want to lose. I may be hard on her sometimes, but I always hope for nothing but happiness for her.

"Malas siguro ako sa mga lalaki," bulong niya nung kahit papaano ay tumahan siya. "I know you will scold me for this, but I genuinely thought... akala ko ay siya na talaga ang lalaking para sa akin."

"Who?"

She pouted her lips. "Si Cole!"

I winced. "Mukha bang pangseryosohan ang lalaking 'yon? May I remind you that you first met him at your house. No. Not a visitor you invited in, but a thief who burgled your house to steal some of your belongings!"

Oh, my feels. How could she fall for him after that? There's nothing more shameful than a broke vampire. How could you still be broke after living for like forever?

"Well... I like bad boys," she sniffed.

"Yeah, but you might well choose a wealthy one."

"W-what did he do to you?"

Her question stunned me for a moment.

"H-he demanded me to give him some golds."

I didn't know why I lied. But telling her that he tried to violate me was even more embarrassing not just for him or her but also for me. Plus, there's no point in admitting the truth. That man is dead. Not just a dead vampire, a vanished one.

"Golds? Really?" Hestia gave me a suspicious look. "He already emptied my house of gold. What was he going to do with all those?"

"Probably build a golden mural for himself."

She laughed. "Fuck. Fuck him."

"Yeah. Fuck him."

I waited for her to totally relax before I opened up about my real intentions. She got us fresh human blood before we settled down.

I sipped on my drink. "What is it?"

"Initium Libellus," she whispered.

"Huh?"

She moved closer to me. "It's an enchanted book where all his memories are stored. No matter how many times you kill him, he will still remember you using that book."

"Where is this book?"

She jerked her head. "That's the question."

So... looking back, he knew. Alam niyang maaaring mawala sa kanya ang mga alaala niya kaya inunahan na niyang isulat ang lahat sa isang libro.

"Why not just decapitate him?" Hestia suggested.

"I want to be sure this time, Hestia. I want him to forget me before he dies. I want to kill him first by taking all his memories of me before I finish him."

My fists clenched. It's just a matter of time before he moves again. His initial attempt failed. I know his next move will be considerably harder to counter. If I caught up in a situation where I had no choice but to fight him, I would finish him once and for all.

"We need to find the book," I said with determination.

"Do you think it's in his possession?" she asked.

"Probably. I will also try to seek it."

"Wait." Sumimangot siya. "What if mauna mong mahanap 'yong libro?"

"I will still give you the island."

Napangiti naman siya.

Sinimot ko ang dugong inumin. The taste gets even better now that I can already taste the victory. I am almost there. Just wait, Terrence.

"I need to go," I smiled at her. "Thanks for the alcohol and blood and for the information. I appreciate it, Hestia. Now, you need to forget about that guy."

"No worries." She giggled. "That's Cole's blood, by the way."

I gawked at her, nearly throwing up when she burst out into laughter.

"Just kidding!"

Inayos ko ang brim hat ko bago lumabas. Sumakay ako ng elevator at pumunta sa parking lot. Nasa loob pa rin si Kristan at sa malayo ang tingin.

I let out an audible sigh. I casually got into my car, and he still didn't look at me. I wasn't certain if he was intentionally neglecting me or his mind was in another dimension. But one thing was for sure, and it was something about what I told him.

Sumandal ako sa upuan saka inalis ang brim hat sa ulo ko. Wala akong planong maunang magsalita. Wala rin naman akong dapat na sabihin pa.

"Are you done?" he asked after a prolonged silence.

"Drive now," I said.

He nonchalantly maneuvered the car out of the parking lot. He was driving the same way we got here— silent, cold, and gripping tightly on the steering wheel.

It was hard to move for some reason. I wanted to break the motion by asking random, casual questions, just like what my research about being friendly told me, but I couldn't find the accurate words without it sounding forced.

Fuck it. If he doesn't want to talk, then be it. The hell I care. Fuck friendships. I knew I would last in this setup, but I didn't think it would end this quick.

"That jerk couldn't fight me on his own. He even operated a deafening noise-emitting device just to get me. He almost fucked me, but good thing I fucked him first. Not literally fuck, but fuck his head with a wood."

That was unnecessary.

I smirked when he lost control of the car for a moment and hit the side mirror to a lamp post which caused it to break. Still, he didn't stop driving.

"It was my fault, though. He lured me to go into that place, and I did. Not like I—" I gasped when we almost hit the car in front of us.

Whoa. That was almost.

I turned to Kristan. He was breathing hard.

What the— why did I suddenly find this scene hot? He was holding back, his breathing was fast, and he was an inch to exploding. Above all, I was the reason. This was remarkably satisfying— watching him losing his composture.

Hinampas ni Kristan ang busina nung hindi gumalaw ang sasakyan sa harapan namin. Sa tingin ko ay nasiraan ang mga ito.

My lips parted when Kristan got out. He walked to the car in front of us, and I gasped so loud when he lifted the car to place it on the sidewalk. Then he marched back into the car.

He started driving again while I was processing what just happened. Kumurap-kurap pa ako at hindi makapaniwala sa ginawa niya.

I gulped. No way. Why did I feel terrified of him all of a sudden?

Hindi na ako nagsalita hanggang sa makarating kami. Pagka-park niya ng sasakyan ay agad akong lumabas. Halos tumakbo na ako para maunahan siya.

Shit. Why am I running away?

I got into the elevator, and I never regret not taking the stairs instead now that Kristan was walking in my direction. He was looking straight into me.

I spam clicked the close button and counted the seconds until it finally closed, but it didn't. Mabilis na naharang ni Kristan ang kamay niya. Tila nabagot siya sa dahan-dahan na pagbukas nito kaya ginamit niya ang dalawang kamay para pwersang buksan ang elevator.

He wrecked the door and stood beside me.

I held my breath until we reached the last floor.

Fuck! What the fuck is happening?

I almost ran to the front door when Kristan gripped my arm, and I never got thrilled and scared like this at the same time. He pulled me beside him for us to walk at the same speed and footsteps going inside the penthouse.

As soon as he closed the door, I stopped breathing.

I've faced a lot of humans and vampires now, but this was the first time I felt this kind of intensity while standing in front of someone.

He smirked.

I had no choice but to gawk at him.

"Nathalia..."

The way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. It was soft but threatening. It sounded like he knew something I didn't want anyone to know.

Be composed. No. I couldn't be fucking composed.

He moved his face closer to me.

"Do friends fuck?" he asked.