╔════════════╗
My vision...
Life continues whether we want it or not,
She continues to flow like a torrent.
Be ready to navigate murky waters,
Because she will carry you away
╚═════════════╝

The light of the crescent moon softly fades over the forest. The air is softly caressing her cheek deprived of its usual essence. The magical vibrations it usually carried was missing.

Alone at the entrance of a subterranean refuge, I felt lost in this unfamiliar forest. Sturdy roots anchoring the ground growled and trembled around me changing the shape further ahead were the galleries were located a few minutes ago. The tree seemingly unperturbed at the entrance linger at the edges guarding a secret, creating an aura of mystery. The surrounding area is noticeably different from all the places I have come across in the last few days.

My head spins with many thoughts. This location is different from all the others I travelled along these past few days. Here, the bare trees and conifers remain silent, a net contrast to the usually rustling of the forest I grew with. Each had its own behaviour. I knew them all, having befriended them back home. As the only child in the area, I had the opportunity to do so. They rarely communicate with magicians, even the influential ones. I was fortunate to have such knowledgeable companions.

Here, in this distant land, the trees stand still, as if some magic had long since washed their souls clean. I wonder who possesses such magic and why it was done. After all, every witch needs nature to restore her source of power. Where I come from, we nurture nature... how do witches survive?

'What is this place?'

My eyes fill with water a property I had rarely felt until our departure from the wolf realm. Anxiety, that was the word I  had come to know and embody this past few days. This entire journey had been exhausting and being surrounded by people feeling the same had become unbearable.

Worse still, my dad had split ways a while back. Being hunted by full trained men with  experienced trackers was a huge disadvantage, but having to flee with kids had been the biggest challenge. I had to remain with another group. The woman, whom my Dad asked me to call my mother, was the head leader. She had instructed me to remain here, hiding with the other kids. She had to go back and look for Dad.

Dad, we seemed to be living parallel lives with only a bunch of encounters every year or so. As a good subject, his duty came first. I miss him always. He was the only one who showed kindness to her where she lived. Being surrounded by soldiers of all kinds, she was always treated like a warrior than a child.  There was no room for foolish emotions.

Fact was, that she missed her dad and she yearned for a mother. The one he described and showed her in a square of paper. Only, this woman was cold and calculated. She wasn't what her dad portrayed her to be. Not when dad was afar.

Where was he?
Dad, where are you?
She thought to herself.

While other children cry, I remain composed and do not allow my emotions to control me.  Tear fill my eyes, shame cowered my shoulders.

So weak, so frail!
Refusing to let it corrupt my magic I pull away from the others and stand in the moonlight.
Ridiculous! Enough!

Suddenly, a pair of hands grab my clothes. I attempt to run, but strong arms hoist my body into the air. I inhale, preparing to recite an incantation, but a hand covers my mouth, preventing any action.

Such disrespect! These people had no idea how to treat someone of her rank. They were just mere fools waiting to face consequences. Ah, if only grampa knew! They would be running like sheep. Or of they were fated, oncle Davon would make his heads roll to my feet.

My heart races uncontrollably in my chest."Shh," the person whispers in my ear. "Your mother will arrive shortly. She instructed you to remain concealed. Why are you here?" He asks in a stern tone, moving back to the other children.

I notice his dilated pupils with a red crescent growing in them. His wolf is ready to show itself when needed.

A wolf cowering like a sheep. I snort to myself.
A true warrior would never let its eyes betray him. What was so distressful about their journey? 
Besides the trip down the waterfall in those sealed barrels, we barely had any adventure.

The sudden movement ahead startles me, and I instinctively slap at his arms, wanting to break free. Men and women are walking backwards on their fours out of the hole. The cackling sound is increasing as they do and the ground beneath shakes tirelessly following the rhythm of their chants. Among them is my mother. The tree roots reach to one another hovering the ground beneath and closing the space that is slowly disappearing until there is no entrance at all. After another psalm, a long silence invaded the forest. The adults remain on the ground exhausted. After all, how were they to recover energy in this land deprived of magic?

Before I could wrap her head around the question, the children, who had been hiding until then, run to the man's legs, trembling with fear. I step back a few feet, feeling trapped by the commotion. The adults, they were not to be disturbed at all, I knew that well enough. They magic had to be properly contained within them to avoid any harm to their allies.

The other thought didn't seem to know that. Fortunately, the babysitter men was sharp enough to keep them from going. Only another child remained still. A boy. Our eyes crossed. His composure made her heart slow a bit.

The cracking song coming from the earth made me break contact from the boy. While watching them from afar, I recognized the woman whom I was to call Mother among them.

Finally, the adults rushed to their children. My mother's hood fell, revealing her true feelings. She ran to me and buried her tear-stained face in my chest. Kneeling on the floor, I felt her warm tears soaking through my clothes. Stiffness dulled my muscles. I peal myself away from her reach. The sentiment wasn't reciprocal. I had just met her a few hours before and followed her only because my father had ordered me. She reluctantly releases me and covers her devastated face with her hands, collapsing to the floor. Her cries are muffled. Dazed, I look around. My eyes never meeting the one I seek.

"Why are you crying?Where is Papa?Where are we?"

I repeat the questions like a broken record. Consciousnesses is calling me back, the images are dissipating into the darkness. I can't let it slip. This dream was the same I had had a few times already. Only this time, she could hear her younger self think and the hood had dropped.

I let out a sigh in defeat. Although it seems to be trying to mean something, its significance eludes me. My diary had already many entrances about that dream and the slight differences between them. It had to mean something like everything else happening in my life. But apparently, my wild imagination was taking over my dream. Too many things coming from those dreams seemed impossible.

Suddenly, the sound of the coffee machine echoes in the hallway. I rub my eyes. My heart races with anticipation as I hurriedly walk to see my mother. "Mom!"

Last time we crossed paths was a week or so ago. She has been quite busy, her eyes have dark circles and she has dropped a dew pounds. Yet, she hasn't slowed down.

My eyes are still adjusting to being open for the day, and I stumble against the wall. I rub them with one hand to steady myself and search for the ramp with the other, my vision is blurry. On the top step, I finally see her. Her body is thinner than before and despite her beautiful long brown hair covering her frame, she looks frail.

Our eyes lock. My heart skips a beat. It has been a while since I have seen her look at me in such a way.  I have missed her.

I rush down the remaining stairs, hoping to catch her and hold her for a few minutes, but she is quick to move away. A heaviness settles in my heart making my shoulders heavy.

Her hand gently caresses my hair. My heart flutters with joy but soon her touch fades. A kaleidoscope of emotions tint my eyes and face, but before I can muster a word out, she was already gone.

Things gad been changing. She has been away more often than not. Even though I had had more asthma crises, she hasn't been spending more time around. Somehow, the more I have needs, the less she is around. Finally whenever she is around, the only thing glinting in her eyes is ressentiment.

Did she resent me for being frail? Or perhaps she did only because I was putting a string on her budget. Still, I was doing my best caring for my siblings while she was away.

The alarm on my watch jolts me out of my dark thoughts. I sigh.

it's time to get going. I walk up the stairs, slapping my face to relax my muscles. I smile as I enter my mother's room, where Julie is still fast asleep.

Today I get to play Mom again.

I pull the blinds aside and look at the green leaves on the tree in front of me. Today is the last day of school and life as I know it, since I won't be attending college next year.

I lie down and crumple the sheets on Mom's side of the bed. I don't regret my decision. I can always pick up where I left off later. I take a deep breath and run my hand through my little sister's hair. Someone has to look after her after all.

"Wake up, beautiful," I say to Julie. She looks so much like Mom, except for the curls.

Like me, she inherited them from Dad. I smile and kiss her forehead before tickling her.

——
Mom
——

Today is a sad day. I've already said goodbye to the younger ones while they slept, but I wanted to see her eyes one last time. Neither gray nor blue, the colors would change depending on the emotions she felt. I could lose myself in those eyes, they reminded me of their father and the life that was taken from us. The button machine pressed. All I could do was wait.

My heart grows heavy with hope as I hear her stumble toward me. Little does she know that this is goodbye. My throat tightens as I think of the audacity of life. I lost her so many years ago, missed her for years, yearn for the day we would be together, only to leave her years later, of my own accord.

I shake my head and see her hurrying down the stairs. I haven't been a mother these past weeks. They deserve better, at least they have Annie.

I take a sip of coffee, taking the cup with me as a token of this day. I brush her hair one last time and leave her for good. It's about time.

Julie and Luc will grow up well with Annie around. She's a good girl. Now I just have to find a replacement for myself.

I turn without a word and leave the apartment, clutching the cup, hiding the emotions she has no right to see, hoping to keep up the pretense.

At the top of the outside stairs, I notice the driver on full alert, waiting for me, as well as the team surrounding the split-level apartment. I make a sign to show I'm in control and hurry to the car, dumping the rest of the coffee on the grass.

The driver opens the door and bows.

"Madam."

I nod and get into the car, noticing the hairs on his hand bristle as I pass him.

I take one last look at the building through the window and wave to the driver through the magic-proof glass, noticing his shoulders relax a little as we pull away.

Note:

Please note that this book contains no sex.

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