*♦̮̑ɜܓ*‎
Note
Listen to this piece to get in the mood. Just press play on the image above.

I hope you will enjoy it!
Happy reading!

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Humans are supposed
to feel emotions.
We need to learn how to use them right without drowning in them.
MJ1
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Air won't reach my lungs, Tom's words don't reach my ears anymore nor does his touch. My magic is taking over and I am compelling myself in a sick twisted turn of events not to breathe. Flashbacks of my younger self come to my mind I always use an inhaler when things got to this proportion. Little did I know that inside of it was a magical concoction meant to neutralize my magic and wolf. Things were different this time, there was no inhaler around, and I was killing myself with my own magic. "Annie, run" Leah's voice reached me through the panic. Taking the emergency stairs, I blast the door open and run. "Breathe in" she purrs and I comply. After a few floors down, "slow down, there are humans in the first floor. Keep breathing." Following her every command, I follow her directions barely seing where I am between my clouded sight.

Confronted with what he's said, my memories and the evidence I possessed all along in a shoebox, the puzzle was complete. Tom was the MVP men. He gave me what I asked without filters. It was raw, but the truth nonetheless.

My heart stops beating for a second again.

"I can't!  It's not possible!" I repeat to myself like a mad woman walking down the street.

"Are you ok miss?" a stranger asks concerned.

I avoid him running instead, while tapping the side of my ear as if that would stop my ramping thoughts from stabbing my heart.

"He's got it wrong!"
I restrain myself from speaking anymore. Not here among passing humans. My heart tightens, but magic isn't the cause.

"That's my mother!"
Yes, she's cold, but she's not a monster.

Looking up, I see the edge of the forest ahead. I did the trial in less than 20 minutes when it usually takes me 35 minutes. Leah forced me to slow my pace on the streets, but now in the woods, with no one around me, I let my frustration run wild.

Avoiding Phil's cabin, I run towards an unknown destination, letting the surrounding vegetation slap my body along the way. The truth was, that I always had the answers with me, but I was too blind to see it. My box was filled with answers and so did my journal, Tom only made the connection and lifted the veil that was obstructing the truth.

Tears run down my cheeks. She did that to me. She knew all along. She pretended and now? Was I to play pretend too?  Was that my life to be from now on?

An animal sound emerges from my throat.

If she was able to erase and temper my memories, what guarantee absolved her from my father's disappearance? What part did she played on it?

Thumping my chest withy fists, I let out an agonized rattle. But it the heaviness is still there, I scream at the top of my lungs with all my might. The top of the trees they shiver to the sound.

"I know it's hard to admit, but Tom's right to assume Mother knows more than what she pretends. My memories are proof enough." Leah's word fuel the turmoil inside my head.

Deep down, I know it's true, the words weight on me, making me bend double and thump my chest.

"My mother wouldn't sacrifice me for her good. She wouldn't erase dad, it's not possible." I tell myself hoping to make them believable to my ears.

"Yet she tempered your memories." She added turning my efforts into thin air.

Smacking my head with my palms, I hope she would take her words back, but she doesn't. Unable to bear it any longer my emotions blast out of me. A wind sweeps through the forest, making the branches dance in the wind. Birds fly back to their nests, ready to face the storm.

"She abandoned you because I grew too strong for her spell after the kidnapping."

My head beats to my heart's rhythm filled with ifs and whys. "Shut up!" I shout but the buzz in my head won't stop.

A thunderous sound covers my scream, but don't care. The world is meaningless without people to love or without love at all.

What is there left for me? I've been living away and forgotten without further explanation. I wasn't important for anyone. Was I ever?

Grief grew and despair weighed on my heart making me feel heavyweight.

Was there any truth in all those years gone by? Was it all fiction? Make believe?

Opening my mouth to breathe, I look up.

The raindrops falling on my face bring little comfort, I am dying inside along with my ability to trust those I once loved. Tonight I cry for the life I had and that won't come back, to the dreams that won't come true and the future that I can't have. Whining like a wounded animal, the droplets turn into heavy rain.

"Do you remember the stories Dad used to tell us? Or do you remember the time Dad took us to that field full of butterflies? You know, it did happened." says Leah to me.

I don't have many memories of my father though I was 12 when he left, her words fill me with sadness realizing how much I have been missing.

"It can't be! She sell him off to the council!" My throat hurting with every word.

"She must have, after all, you did forget all the years we shared. I couldn't take control of your body then, I was too young, but we used to play together, the three of us."

"But why?" The question got lost in my head while many others popped up like undesired spam.

I sniffle and ask Leah:
"Could this be it? She wouldn't recognize me because I was an impure magical being?"

Shivering, completely soaked, I wait for her answer.

"Dad accepted you as you were and helped you train. Mom didn't react very well. She rejected that part of you, she rejected me. Do you hear me? She didn't reject you, she rejected me."

Feeling her sadness and grief through my every pore, I cry my eyes out falling on all fours. The rain raged for the both of us. Each droplet splashed mud over my clothes.

"It was too early for me to transform, but he taught us to coexist in harmony without affecting your magic. Then things began to change, the first thing was Luc's behaviour. We had nothing to say to each other and avoided us."

"You're lying, Luc would never do that! He loves me." I shout.

Relentless, she continues to nail my heart with every piece of information and breaking it into a thousand pieces.
"It's your mother, she poisoned Luc's heart, she manipulated it and turned it against you."

"Impossible!!"  I shout as thunder rumbles close enough to let me feel the blast in the air.

Unconcerned she keeps talking in my head.
"Dad tried to reason with her, they yelled and he left. He was gone a long time. Before he left, he talked about his friends who wanted to meet us and help us. Meanwhile, my presence was growing, she could see me through your eyes. Frustrated, Ma called one of these "doctors". They performed the ritual while you were asleep and helpless, silencing me and pushing me further into your subconscious. Priorities designed to keep you from thinking of me, your love for your family was used against me and it worked. Without your energy, I was weakened and slowly began to fade."

Collapsing to the ground in foetal position, her words weigh me down, destroy me from the inside, but she doesn't pity me.

Could the love I had for my family be manufactured to control me?

"Later Pa came back, you had forgotten everything except his face and a few memories unrelated to me or magic. Pa was furious, his wolf summoned me from the depths of the nothingness, sharing his strength and allowing me to tell him everything."

My ponytail unravels of its own accord, unable to support the weight of my long wet hair, leaving the ends soaking in the mud.

"Scared that Mom would try something against my existence again, keeping only your magical legacy, he took me with him, but we didn't get very far. He was betrayed, it was an ambush, they knew where we'd be. The leader of the Resistance and others fought, there was a bloodsheds, and some believers hid us. I was too young. I was too scared. I didn't understand. So I ran back to Ma just to be locked up with that ritual in the woods." Her broken voice sent a chill down my spine.

She performed that ritual, it was in the dream she shared.

Though my teeth were trembling, I heard her thoughts again.

"You've forgotten the pain, whereas I remember it. It was as if I'd been stabbed, then shredded and finally knocked out. I screamed again and again, begging my mother, our mother, our flesh! But she wouldn't bend her will. She wanted me to disappear. She even looked me in the eye and said '' It's for the good of all'', that's all she said: ''You must die.''

Clutching my shirt over my heart, I wonder, "Was my mother ever this ruthless?"

Lying in the mud, I wonder if I should have died that day.

So many thoughts spin violently in my head.

If they're right, it's Mum who would have wanted to get rid of Dad, just as she wanted to get rid of Lea.h.

Muddy water enters my mouth, and I swallow a little before turning onto my side in covering my body and face with mud.

Ma kept her things until we moved out. Was it all a set-up meant to avoid suspicion?

"She was the one who did the ritual, she was the one pulling the strings because she was the highest witch in the clan. She's the one who made the changes and erased our memories. Do the math." She savagely ended.

I shake my head in disbelief through my tears.

"Yet she took your family away from you."
She added calling me back to reality.

"I'm alone."

My heart grows heavy at the thought.

I hurry to speak.
"My brother was there!"

"Yes, he was the anchor to make sure you didn't get lost or else we could both get lost in the void at the same time, she knew you cared for Luc."

Covering my face as if I could make it all go away, the rain rumbles, the wind rattles my hair against my arms, and a few branches are torn from the surrounding trees turmoiling mid air and scratching my skin.

She been using us, when all I wanted was a little love from her? No, crumbs would have been enough, she is my mother after all. I did everything right, because I wanted her to praise me. To be proud. Yet, she abandoned me.

My body shudders, the ground tremors beneath me as I strike the ground beside me and a complaint leaves my mouth.

"I've got no family left". I say to myself, hitting the ground with less effort.

Empty, my body goes limp like a corpse in the middle of the muddy ground, wind and rain clash in the rain fighting each other like Leah and I, but it's a futile war since there can't be a winner. One thing is sure. There is no hope. Not for her. Not for me. We are together in this mess and it's scraping the depths of my mind leaving a vivid wound that will never fully heal. It will leave keloid scars between the pieces of my soul.

"Calm down, you're creating a tornado," Leah tells me.

Gathering all my strength, I roll over onto my back and notice the ravage among the trees.

"Did I do that?" Lina said there are limits to everyone's magic, and I had already emptied that cup today when transitioning into a wolf. Then how was this be possible?

Avoiding the scene, I turned my face away and prevent the rain from pouring into my nostrils as I breathe.

"Of course it's you, have you ever seen mini-tornadoes and squalls form in a matter of minutes on a calm day?" she asks me.

I look around sensing someone, but I see no one.

'I thought your presence was blocking my magic. Aren't werewolves and magic supposed to be incompatible?' I ask her in my mind, unable to use my mouth for anything other than breathing.

She remains silent.

Looking at the raging storm, I find confort with it, it relaxes me a bit. The wind seem to slow, as I gradually manage to control my emotions.

"I think you should admit it, Tom's theory can't be all fake." Leah's voice echoed in my head.

More tears flow from each side of my eyes but get lost in the rain. The lump in the middle of my throat prevents me from breathing and swallowing. I have no fight left in me to stop her from saying it.

"You are the chosen one. Or at least close enough to the legend. Could we be the chosen one?" Leah asks me.

😱