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Social expectations,
Because we all want to
Belong,
what are you ready to lose
In the process?
MJ
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Staying focused in class was a real ordeal. Uncertainty fills dreams with pieces of my life, and I don't have the luxury of time to dwell on it.

The dark circles beneath my eyes confirm that it's been enough already.

Tonight, again, Lina was expecting me to join her at the usual spot.

It's been three weeks now. I wonder how long it will take until I get my green flag and when I will get control over my life.

Living with Tom has its advantages. Yesterday, he surprised me with a cell phone, making the girls go baffling with rage this morning.

He just had to have it and make a big fuzz out of it, showing off my new phone and its new features. Caught by surprise, I stalled and my cheeks felt hot.

Unsure about being overwhelmed feeling, my body trembled with excitement l. I couldn't decipher if it was coming from me or him, so I ended up pulling my protective bubble.

The image of last night ends up giving me shivers still.

'Who is the naughty one in this group? It can't be me for sure!' I reprimand myself for getting rid of the image in my head.

Tom is talking to me at the end of my table. Class was over and once again I was too busy in my head to notice a thing.

"We are going to the mall. The girls needed convincing, but they end up giving in. They will style you a bit."
Fluttering my lashed, he points a finger to my nose, breaking my will to break a fight.
"Let them pamper you a bit. I will not take a no for an answer."

I try to mumble an answer, but he is already walking to the door with my books in his hand. Opening  my mouth too late, I run after him to retrieve what is mine.

'I hate shopping.'

Pulling his sleeve, he stops to look at me. I give him a fake smile.

"You know, I can't tonight. I have to study lessons with Lina and do a project. There is no such time as for hopping." I end, already walking forward.

He walks a little faster, closing the gap between us, but he adds nothing.

With a grin, I sit on Lina's right side, far from the two most annoying girls the world made.

When lunch was almost over, I got up to throw the trash but I am stopped by Tom's sentence.

"So remember, we meet up at four in the parking lot. It's the makeover day today. Lina, you are coming, of course. I count on you!"

"Of course, shopping is always fun." She hurriedly accepted.

Holding my tray a little tighter, I walk to the trash bin.
'Traitor,'
I say in my head, knowing well that she can hear my thoughts.

🌺 at the store🌺

I look up at them. In the store, he gives Lina a few tips before leaving, but I am too far away to hear what was being said.

I feel offended since I came. Everyone is opinionated, but I can't give mine since I am deemed unfashionable.

He turns on his heels. The guys aren't far behind me. I close my fists, ready to give him a piece of my mind.

I open my mouth, but his finger ends on my forehead, distracting me for a second.

"Listen well to all they'll say. Don't be stubborn and dress as you are told. This way, you'll be able to dress like an actual girl and blend into society." He ends up.

My nostrils move for a second.
I hate him! Low blow!
"Blend in? Glorious!" I roll my eyes.

Surprised by my honesty, I close my mouth.

"Yes, after this you will look like a girl." He trowed it to my face without a blink.

Blood rushes to my head, and I gulp.

Undesired Images pop into my head. I dressed up with a top; the cleavage showing my generous breasts. The shorts let my curves overflow; me unzipping my clothes under Tom's gaze, looking, drooling at my sight, irises dilated...

I gulp.

My heart is racing. A warmth spreads through my body. I fight to drive the images out of my head.

I blush again just remembering them.

I take a peep and make sure no one was looking at me. Tom is already moving away.

"A girl!! I'll ... I am, you know..." I mumble, wishing I hadn't.

How brazen! Is this coming from me or him?
My head spins at that thought.

I turn to him, and a cloud of fiery blood goes to my head.

My hands are moist, and I can feel myself sweating. I am out of breath, trying to get my emotions in check. Lately, I am hypersensitive, I can't get a hold of my emotions.

'I need to retaliate. He can't get away .'
I minded myself.

I remember Lina's lessons. If I focus enough while repeating the words in my mind in a loop, I can make certain things happen. So I do. I focus as best I can while repeating a mantra in my head :

"make him fall and look ridiculous".

I look at him, making sure not to lose him for an instant, watching his every movement and finding any way to make it happen.

Like a hawk, I monitor my prey, waiting for the occasion.
'If I have magic powers, I might as well use them. Besides, he had it coming.'
I tell myself.

A girl arrives from the other side of the aisle with a rack of clothes. Tom is on her left and isn't paying attention since he is talking with the boys.

Perfect! satisfactions washes over my face.

As wished, His foot gets stuck with the rack, making him stumble. He moves his arms as if they were wings and ends up catching the metallic bar, but it is futile.

He falls, taking the lot on his way down.

It's a funny sight, people gasping in surprise, Tom in a heap, piled with a mountain of clothes on the floor. He tries to get free from the pile while the girl apologizes and tries to put the rack back up. Doing so, she ends up piling more clothes on him.

John and the other guy whose name I still don't remember loudly laugh instead of coming to his aid.

Tom is red-purple, pulling on the clothes that are stuck to his neck. In his haste, he didn't realize that the clothes he was pulling on was attached to the hanger behind him. A nice touch on my part. All I did was change the trajectory of the rolling clothes rack and do the same with the clothes.

He says something, and his friends move quickly to him. Like good little soldiers, they help him out of the situation. Without a single glance, he went outside at a quick pace while the clients kept their eyes stuck on him with amused grins.

'I am happy now. A well-deserved punishment.'
I suddenly enjoy having powers. Until now they were inconvenient, but perhaps I could get used to them.

I look at his friends, taking their time before joining him outside. It was as if they didn't want to be associated with him.

'They call themselves friends!'

I am then pulled by the arm. Surprised, I follow, knowing I will hate every bit.

The girls began choosing many clothes while asking me questions such as my favourite colours, my musical taste, tv shows, etc. They asked if I was conservative and somehow my answers seemed to amuse them. It looks like my answers could not be serious.

I can only hear them, but I have no courage to strike back. I feel as if I have no voice. After all, I barely had any friends in the past; I am overwhelmed.

'Is this the price of friendship?'
I am taken out of my thoughts by them.

Lili is stretching my clothes and adds,
"Look at those clothes, of course. She's conservative! She's trying to look like a boy," she smirks.

"It's true. It's not with those clothes that she'll attract anyone's attention!" Says Anna, laughing next to Lili.

"It's not true. She's going to attract people's attention with that, just not anyone we know." Lili shakes her head.

"Yeah, she's the perfect subject to become the center of some scandal. We have an impossible task ahead, but we have to do this. Otherwise, she will make our popularity level sink into oblivion." Anna points out.

"Yeah, no way that she can be around us in that state". Lili responds with an air of disgust, heading for a rack of clothes.

"Yep, Tom was right to put her in our care," Lina acknowledges, following her.

"We'll make a girl out of her". Lili promises her friend with her eyes lit up.

"But not too much. I don't want her to catch the attention of.. You know who.". Ana adds with a pout, pressing a hand on her friend's arm.

"No matter what we do, it'll be better than... that!! When she looks in the mirror, she won't be able to recognize herself." Lili says, overjoyed by the task ahead.

"Oh, yeah!! Let's do a makeover!! Like on TV!!!" Lina cheers with an attitude far from her usual self.

I roll my eyes. She tries so hard to fit in, but it's all an act. I know it and I like the Lina in the woods better. She speaks her mind and fights back when the time is right, making her everything I wish I was. She is strong. It's a shame that she hides who she is to fit in.

I have no time to dwell on it. I am guided to a cabin. The torture began.

Forbidden to say a word or an opinion, I was in and out of the cabin many times. This is a full workout, I am swathing. They did not include Lina in the exchange. She had to carry the clothes in and out of the cabin. Whenever she spoke during the fitting session, they didn't consider her suggestions. I suppose they did not embrace her friendship the same way.

Whenever I thought I was done, they sent me back to the dressing room. Pieces. I didn't even dare to try them on, but since I had so many pieces to try on, they didn't take notice. Until they did with a peculiar top.

"hell no, there is no way I'll wear this. I will look like a hooker with my big boobs." I covered my cleavage with my hands.

"According to whom?" Lili asked me with stinky eyes.

I never got to see their faces. I was too busy looking at my feet, though they were quick to decide on that one.

They disposed of the top in the NO section. Relieved, I resumed my duty by trying some more clothes.

After a while, covered in sweat, they asked me to put on an outfit I had tried a little earlier. The sales assistant approached me with scissors, cut off the labels, and left.

Once outside of the cabin room, they said they paid everything for and that we were heading toward the exit.

I wanted to change back into my clothes, but Lili answered,

"Your clothes, if they can be called that, no longer exist. Gone. Over. Finished! Now, follow me."

I had no time to process what had just happened since I was being dragged by the arm. Besides, I was too shocked and tired to answer. I couldn't form a complete thought in my mind.

I'm not someone who would normally confront others. A little erased. Except for Tom, I keep to myself. I don't know why; he seems to awaken something inside me. Magic filter or not, I answer to him, tit for tat.

I am flustered in his presence, aware of his reactions. Suddenly I wonder...

'will he like my looks? Am I going insane? I am falling for him! It can't be...'

We joined the boys at the front door of the restaurant.

'Not Again!! I just want to go to our place!'

I keep daydreaming of a quiet meal without guests, just a quiet evening to myself. It's a no-go for tonight. I exhale.

They make me walk behind them, like a piece offering.

"Thummim!! I present to you the new version of Annie," said Lili.

Stepping aside along with Ana.

The guys turn around to face us. John and the other jab each other with their elbows, winking. As for Tom, he paused and stared at me for what felt like an eternity.

His eyes discretely roamed my body as my heart goes mad. A hot flush travelled from my head to my tows. Feeling a growing awareness, I ended up crossing my arms higher than usual, hoping to cover my boobs. If Lina is to be believed, my emotions mirror those of the person on who I am focusing.

' could that mean Tom.. right now is... No way!...' My heart is racing, My hands are getting moist, and I feel hotness washing over me.
'Darn horny dude! Or is it someone else around here?'

I raised a mental shield as quickly as I could, and I turned to gaze at each boy's face.

I am always surprised. Despite my efforts, I lose all composure. An image of him touching my curves invades my thoughts. I plant my teeth over my lips, making my shivers lessen.

'Damn me in hell and get me far from him. There is no way I will fall for him. Anyone but him.'

Our time at the restaurant is delicate. I avoid all eye contact with Tom because I would lose all composure. My 101 magic classes don't always work when Tom is so close to me. As for him, he doesn't take his eyes off me or barely does so. Every time my eyes cross his, my heart jumps in my chest.

I have unwanted hot flashes. His arms... him laying in his bed, his torso.
'Como-on, I had a peep of him shirtless. Why the hell does it keep flashing back in my mind?'

I spend the entire time trying to erase those images popping into my mind. Soon I realize how doomed I am. They keep flooding in. His arm was on my shoulders. That time when he saved me from the drunkard, sharing a meal with him alone in our apartment... Ah... My heart seems too slow with every sweet memory.

'The fact is that no one has ever been this nice to me.'

Never has my heart danced to so many rhythms in a minute either, but I push that information aside.

'That's it. I fantasize because I lack human interaction and I mended information upside down.'
I feel better suddenly.
'I need to make friends and meet boys. My brain will catch up!'

Finally, we walk out, heading to the car. Lina parked on the opposite side from Tom's.

I went with her for obvious reasons. Besides, she was the one to help me carry the shopping bags, and the other girls ignored us. The little missies were too afraid to break a nail or damage their expensive manicures.

Now facing the car, I walk to the trunk, filling my arms with bags, but Tom was quicker and took the bunch I had just prepared.

I look at him, but he doesn't bother about the girls already fuming comments out.

"Some have to keep gallantry alive," Tom turns to them.

Bending over, I take another bunch of bags from the depths of the trunk while trying to keep my emotions in check.

Again Tom gallantly turns to me, caressing my arm with his while trying to take a few bags.

I shiver as waves of pleasure emanated from every point of contact, rippling throughout my body, my hairs raised in pleasure.

'Uwaah... More, please.'
  My mind tells me.

"John, make yourself useful and help Tom," Lili quickly pressed on her brother.

John took the bags from Tom's hands.

"Her bags, you need to lessen her burden, not yours! Be useful." Lili snapped.

John smiles and looks at Tom with a spark in his eye.

As if it was a cue, Tom walks to me again, to Lili's dismay. Anna crosses her arms in fury. I had to gulp and take a deep breath before he bent himself again, ready to take the remaining bags from my hands.

'Lord, please give me the strength to keep control of my body.'

😍

*♦̮̑ɜܓ*‎note

John is the real MVP! The wingman to the rescue! xD

Have you ever felt like you played a role with certain people?

  I did for a while until I grew enough in myself and remained true no matter what people said.

I hope you all find your balance one day.

———-🤷‍♀️———-
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😘