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Anger
An emotion used against you to disgrace you,
Learn to weld that emotion   Into something greater.
MJ
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In the middle of the cafeteria, my heels turn on themselves avoiding his friends, giving me enough time to see them wave at us.
'Why would a library rat like me be sitting at the table of the hot chicks and the romeos?'

I walk to the exit.
An arm blocks my way.

Memories of a younger me cross my mind back to where I was thirteen. People bullied me, faking asthma attacks in the hallway. My attacks were dangerous and happened often, making me their favourite laughingstock. The laughs filling my head again as if I was there, I press my hands to my shirt, twisting it restlessly between my fingers. Comfort wouldn't come.

"Come on! It'll be fun."
His head tilting to mine, silence comes back in my mind as I fail to move away from him.

'Fun for who?,' lifting my chin, I look into his eyes.

People walk around us, filling the cafeteria. Our voices covered by the steady sound of the crowd chatting and eating.

"Como-on Annie, don't make a scene." He moves in front of me.

Random people smile at the sight, he is so close. The girls behind me must be freaking out. I close my eyes.

Anna undoubtedly has a crush on Tom and Lili, as a good friend is taking sides with her. They have an obvious enemy, me. Why can't he understand how cunning girls can be?
Images flash in my mind.

Peter, a high school biology classmate, bumping into me. Him holding me steady and giving me a handsome smile as an apology before parting ways. A random girl pushing my shoulders, making me smirk in pain, spreading my books on the floor. A second random girl pushing me aside and walking over my books, followed by two other friends sneaking my way.

My belly twists inside. I walk away from Tom. I can't get caught in the middle. Worse, becoming the third wheel.

"Not so fast. You haven't eaten yet and your dinner is right there", holding my shoulders, he makes me do a U-turn, pointing to the table I wish to flee from.

Why did you have to be mister popular? My head turns to him and blinks twice. Why is he smiling at me? Why did he have to be so handsome when smiling? I press a hand to my forehead. My mind is such a mess, I comply. I can't be alone forever. Ultimately, I would need to face the situation and socialize.

Guided by his arm on my shoulder, we walk forward. All I can see is the obsession of their eyes over his hand on my shoulder. I push his arm away.

"Give me some money and I'll get myself something and not bother you guys," Lifting my hand along with my pleading eyes .

"It would be impolite of you to refuse the plate they chose for you." He grabs my hand instead, pulling me to the table.

My mouth turns into an o shape, realizing that there is no way out of this.

"They are not beasts, you know. You will like them if you give them a chance." He smirks.

Moments later, I am physically trapped, caged by his friends, both to my left and right. They talk about us, but all my attention is over the girls.

The girls quickly make signs to grab my attention. Still wavering over my options, l stay behind forgotten, only to be caught by a redhead girl that I never met before.

"I know they are overwhelming. Let's get away from them." She takes me to our table.

The girls at the table pretended not to hear Tom,
"Don't ask her too many questions. She is shy."

Instead, I am tossed like an object. All I can do is to make plans to get away and hope to get an opportunity with them trading places and plates.

Innocently, I sneak a peek at Tom, but his gaze keeps a check on me.

Finally seated, all I can hope is to eat and listen to their stories like the previous day, but Lina and Anna are making it difficult.
They keep talking, ignoring me when they placed me in between. All I want is to lay my head on the table feeling like an annoyance.

Chuckling and gaining Tom's attention from the other side of the table, they steal food from one another's plates and food travel above my plate. Giving up dodging, I straighten my back.

At this rate, they will cover me with food, unless it was what they were aiming for.

Steady, I slip out of my chair, bumping into something behind me. My head touches a flat, comfortable surface. I look up, only to see Tom's eyes deeply looking into mine.

Leaning to Anna's ear,
"You should sit one next to the other. You have so many things to chat about. Why don't you switch places with Annie and let her chat with Lina?" His mellow voice, meant to charm her, obviously worked.

With a giggle, she complies. Her long blond hair and her perfect waves showed how much effort she made this morning prepping up. She was ready for this moment.

Anna walks around Tom with a bright smile, playing with his hair.

They giggled a little after he added something about her hair while I frowned and obliged to take my seat. He pushes it in place. Blaming myself for doing that deal, I take a bite of food.
'Lunch in the cafeteria is hell.'

He leans forward, my body stiffens.
"You are doing great. Remember our deal. You are not going anywhere."

Feeling the girl's gaze on me, I pout and nod. There is no way I was gonna twist my head in his direction and attract more undesired attention.

After a while, I get bored. Everyone keeps talking at the same time and out of my comfort zone. I don't know what to focus on.

When I was still eating, it wasn't so bad because I could at least focus on my food, but now there was nothing to do.

My hands are moist, and a headache is in the make.

"Hey, you okay?"
Wondering who is talking to me, I look up. He is the blond one making him Tom's best friend.

My chin nods.

"Lili, why don't you take her to the restroom so she can take some air? She looks like she's about to faint".
That worried voice belongs to TOM.

Holding my head between my hands,
'Why can't he just leave me alone? Since this morning, I haven't been able to do anything without him popping in, out of the bleu. He's been acting like a leech. I can't get rid of him.' The fact that I didn't get some time alone is overwhelming for me now. My head hurts and all these new subjects they talk about are just making it increase.

"Tom, stop talking like that. Anyone would think that you're worried. Did you happen to grow feelings for her?" That annoying voice belongs to Anna. She tends to accentuate the end of her words, ending with a pitch sound. I hate all about her voice.

"What do you mean? You know she's my future step-sister. I am just being a nice half-brother."
He stresses the end as if it was a valid assertion.

What an ace, truly.
Obviously, he knows nothing about girls or feelings.

"Literally. I've never seen you so attentive towards anyone", that was seemingly Lili coming to the rescue. I could already picture her brown hair with coloured highlights bringing light to it. She is always smirking and giving me a stinky eye whenever our eyes meet.

Another rush of pain invades my head as the image of them bickering and looking at me invades my mind. Pressing my hands with force to my head, I hope to make the pain go away with the pressure on my temples.

"My old man placed her under my care. I've already told you. There's nothing more and there's no way I'm doing that with my new family. I am a man of principles." His voice sounds annoyed bow. Perhaps he is picking up the core of the situation.

All I hope is that this will settle things and these girls will chill a bit towards me, making the invading images out of my mind. Their faces swirl around me, they lifted a finger at me. Lili is sneering and Anna is playing innocence. Even with my eyes close, I can't make them stop.

"Uh-huh... Since when have you ever listened to your old man? You've changed since she arrived." That is Philippe, the guy with dark long locks in his hair.

He seems unsure about this. I guess they are teaming up against him, meaning they have secrets, expectations or untold stories. Unless they are just taking sides. They must know that Anna has a thing for TOM and they are playing territorial on her behalf. It has to, since last time they didn't act this way!

"Since the other morning when he told me to be useful and do as told. Otherwise, my social life will be over and I will have to work alongside him. Full Time. no more college, no more hanging out, so please help a little!" Looking up, I didn't miss his dramatic eye between my laced fingers.

They got all quiet. Finally, the show was over. I drop my back over my chair and look at the ceiling.

"What?! When did he tell you this? The other day, it wasn't this drastic!" Philippe seems suspicious.

"I don't know. Some thieves targeted us the other day at the mall and he just flipped. He."

straightening my head, I look at him.
'Huh? When did he have this conversation? He did not. He is such a good liar!'
His eyes lingering over mine, he winks at me.

That conversation, I wanted to hear it, but I get pulled away. The girls are playing nice for now.

"Alright, you come with me." Lili is already pulling me by the arm.

"Yeah, let's powder our noses, ladies," Anna suggest as if she needed more when her makeup was perfect, as if it was a command. The girls all got up in sync. Stopping with my arm in her hand, we look at each other.

"So, are you coming, or do you require help?" Anna was already moody. If only she could give me the benefit of the doubt. After all, I wanted nothing with Tom.

Silently, I made my way behind them. I tried my best to appear normal, but I could feel my head sinking between my shoulders. Lina remains behind, matching my pace.

How did I end up surrounded by my worst nightmare, girls? There's nothing worse? They like to talk behind people's backs and are nice to people only when they deemed them useful. My mind keeps railing with my many convictions, contaminating my mood.

Getting in the bathroom,
"So, tell us! What's it like living with Tom?"
Anna obviously wants intel on Tom. There it was. I have valuable information.

She is taller and slimmer than me. She could be a model. Besides the heavy makeup and the clothes revealing too much legs and chest, she isn't ugly for the eyes.

"Yes, like, does he walk around bare-chested? "Lili looks at my every movement, studying my reactions, earning a chuckle from Anna.

Deep breath, I remind myself.

"Does he have defined abs? He seems fit enough. Tell us!" Anna obviously wants to know now.

All eyes are on me, my hands become sweaty.
Lina looks at me. She is the only sane person here besides me; I think. She is quiet and keeps to herself the opposite of the two facing me. She smiles and nods.

"I don't know. Why would I see him without clothes? I am his half-sister to be."
But I did... since this morning, I know he is a tad muscular. I feel my face burning under their gaze. I never knew I had this in me.

"Yeah, okay, play coy all you want. Might as well tell me you didn't notice his good looks! Or make belief that the luxuries he gives you do not seduce you." She smirks, "Doen't it gives you the tiniest bit of desire to be more than the girl sleeping in the next room,". Snorted the blond one, Lili taking her hand to reassure her.

The heat rushes to my face.
I tell them to gain some peace? Should I say that I've never had a boyfriend? That would ease their minds, but it's too personal to share.

Lina's lips move, but my mind is elsewhere.

'No way? I have no obligation to share any of that. Things will only worsen. Am I flustered or just upset at the grilling session?' I can't even tell what I'm feeling anymore.

I hate girl talks!

Moments of my teenage days flash through my brain. I was called a lesbian by the other kids for not being interested in boys like the other girls in my grade; they tried to trick me into kissing girls and boys. They were determined to find out what my sexual orientation was. It still made my skin crawl, like it was any of their damned business. Like I was some sort of test subject they could toss around however they liked.

Never! I refuse to go through that again! I have to get out of here!

Closing my fists, my mouth opens with a comeback.

"You want to know about Tom? Let's begin with the fact that he is full of himself. That is the only thing he cares about. If you care about what I think of him, I'm not interested in a guy who spends more time in the washroom than me. Or someone that bathes himself in perfume every morning to attract girls. So you can have him! I will help you!" On a steady note, I hope not to give away my mixed emotions.

Yea, way too much perfume. His natural scent is better, anyway. What a waste.

"Oh? What kind of perfume does he wear?" Lina's tone isn't as annoying as the others telling me she doesn't give a damn about it, but is playing the game. Unlike the others, she lacks style with red strands out of place..

"You hear this? He spends lots of time grooming himself in the washroom. I wish I could help him out someday." Ana grins with a smile from one ear to the other. Of course she does. She looks plastic with so much makeup.

I can not believe it. They are as disconnected from reality as Tom. They deserve each other! I shake my head.

"uh-huh, sorry", unimpressed, I point the door to the toilet seat. "Sorry, but I need to...." They keep blocking the entrance.

"That's fine, go. You can still answer while you're at it," the blond girl moves to the side.

My eyes widened,
"Wow. no. Quite the opposite. Let's turn on the faucet. I don't want you to hear me pee."

She busted into laughing and helped me by turning the faucet on and began debating about Lili and Tom's subject. They would make a lovely couple. They discussed ways to make them fall for each other, or ways to make Tom fall for Lili, who already has a thing for him.

Lina helps find love traps. I only met her today, but I have a better opinion of her. They didn't even give me her name. I learned her name from the guy with the dark locks on his head, Philippe.

I take the opportunity and flee, sneaking away from the toilet without even washing my hands. A small price to pay for the extra stealth.

FREEDOM!! I reached the exit when from the corner of my eyes I spotted. TOM arms crossed, leaning against the wall, is looking at me as if he was waiting for me.

I face him and cross my arms, too.

"You thought you could escape? I knew I couldn't trust you. What I told you before stands true: I will be your shadow. My lifestyle and freedom depend on it." He shakes his head.

"So, what? I'm just supposed to accept being your prisoner?" I pictured myself wearing handcuffs and began sweating.

What possesses me? I never watched 50 Shades of Gray. I only heard a few things here and there, yet my mind keeps fantasizing about him in it.

"If you're good, I'll treat you like a queen. You'll have lots of fun and will experience things you would never live without me." He bargains with a smile.

I feel Heat all over my body. 'The hell with me!'

His arm find my shoulders again and we reached the table. I sat down without a word. Dark gazes, they drilled insistent looks into me from both sides of the table. I was the center of attention again, and not in a good way.

I could feel their gazes on my skin, hear the hushed whispers. I just wanted to disappear.

Despite my efforts, I can't ignore their words. They are talking about me again, and it is taking up too much space in my mind.

Tom makes them stop and talk about something else but the girls.

I can hear them whispering in and it's getting louder and louder and in my mind.

'What's happening to me?'
Nervous tics invade my hands and eyebrows. I play with my hands, trying not to show how much I am affected by it.

After a few more minutes, I put my hands over my ears to block the sound, but it doesn't help.

I am shaking now, filled with rage. They're calling me two-faced, manipulative, a liar, a slut, like her mother, a gold digger... My breathing becomes erratic.

'Breath, Annie', I try to encourage myself. I picture myself on the couch with my cute Luc and Julie. She's sound asleep on my knees. 'Breathe'... My breathing slows a bit.

If my asthma attack begins, my ability to make friends will become wary. People will never treat me the same and they will look upon like the sick girl again. Earlier, I tried the last inhaler I had, and it's broken. I guess the move has something to do with it.

I need to control my breathing or I will have a crisis at hand. All I wanted was some time alone until I had more medicine. Everything reminds me why I remained anonymous everywhere I go.

In the end, I can't handle stress. Tears prickle my eyes.

I grab my head with my two hands, trying to cover their rash words. I try to keep pace with my breathing.

Still, I can hear them: she is just seeking attention, playing shy, and posing as fake.

'If only they could just STFU... just stop talking... choke on your words... Yeah, they should choke, that's all they deserve. Just choke.'

Feeling some breathing relief, I push my idea further.

I feel great satisfaction imagining them choking, their smug and despising looks gone. They are judging me without knowing anything about me. They are accusing me of being exactly what they are.

'They would choke, and I wouldn't care about them.' I tell myself.

Hands press down on my shoulders and shake me a little. I don't stop pressuring my ears, but open my eyes. Tom gently removes my hands from my head and says,

"Stop, breathe."

As I looked around, boys surrounded both girls. One was on a water run and had returned with a bunch of glasses of water, and the others were slapping their backs to help the red-eyed girls. They were coughing uncontrollably.

The words Tom had said to me the other night came back to me.
'Impossible!'
I stand up, pushing Tom away from me in the process.

Then I ran as quickly as I could.

And,
This time,
Tom didn't follow.

˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷note

Whaaaaatttt ?!%!?? (⊙.⊙(☉̃ₒ☉)⊙.⊙)

The girl has no idea what is happening. Tom seems to understand the situation more than her.

What about you? What do you think just happened?

Stay tuned for the next chapter!

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