:3

~Kritika~

"Well, hello to you too."

I was pretty sure I was dreaming, because this person hadn't called me for like what, two years now. Two whole freaking years.

I am dreaming, for sure. Yep. I could wake up any time now to my alarm clock blaring and--

"Hello?" I heard them ask again "hello? You there?"

And that was the last straw.

I slapped myself, hard. Harder than I'd intended causing my cheek to singe in pain and I hissed helplessly.

"Nope, not dreaming." I said, rubbing my cheek "this is reality. I'm really attending a phone call. And it really is you.." I trailed unsurely "Ayaan.."

I was half expecting him to throw a sarcastic remark at me, mock me about slapping myself like an idiot. But that's something the old Ayaan would do.

Only, this wasn't him.

"Yeah." he trailed, and I could tell he was holding back a sarcastic remark "I was meaning to call Kanika. Sorry, looks like I--"

"Ah, case solved. I admit, You got me surprised there for a minute having me think that you'd actually called me. For real." I joked "You butt-dialled, that makes sense."

There was a short silence on the other end "Why would you think that?"

"What?" I let out a little laugh "are you seriously asking me that question? Why would I think that, oh let me see.." I pretended to reflect "Oh yeah, maybe because we haven't talked properly in two bloody years. Or maybe because you've been a complete butt to me in this time. You decide." my voice had apparently increased one decibel with every word and now I was basically screaming at him.

"I don't do that. You're delusional." he said

What's sad was it wasn't even like he was defending himself. It was like he was saying it for the heck of it.

"Yeah right, because I'm so convinced. Totally believing you" I sarcastically say, my temper rising.

"What are you trying to--"

"Ayaan, what I'm trying to say is.." I sighed "Just stop. Please. This can't go on forever. Stop ignoring me."

"Who gave you that idea? Ignoring you?" he said dryly "like I said, you're delusional. Anyway, I gotta go." he said and then added under his breath but just loud enough so I could hear "why couldn't I have just called Kanika instead? Would've saved me all the drama."

It broke my heart to see that my brother didnt want to talk to me. But I wasn't going to let him hang up this tinge. I'd had enough. There was only so much hurt a person could keep pent up in them. And I had reached my limit.

"See? This is exactly what I was talking about." I said loudly "you never talk to me properly. You're always making excuses, dammit! Bloody excuses, that's all."

"Kritika, don't use that tone on me. And quit being so dramatic." he said, anger finally evident in his voice

"Believe me, I'm glad I used that tone on you. See? I got a reaction from you. Got a proof that you aren't completely dead on the inside. That there's still some human left in you." I scoffed "and I'm being dramatic? I'm being dramatic? Okay, well I'll stop being dramatic when you stop being so.. so.." I struggled for a word

"I stop being so what?" he said irritatedly

"Selfish. Yeah, that's what. Freaking selfish." I said bitterly "you just think about yourself right? At the end of the day it's all about how you feel. How you were hurt. How Aakansha left you." I said before I could stop myself

I heard a sharp intake of breath on the line and I knew I'd pushed it too far. But I'd had enough. He needed to hear it. It was the only way that he could possibly come back.

I don't know if he really realised it or not, but Ayaan was still on that wheelchair, with the letter in his hand. He hadn't moved from there. He might have physically forward but mentally, he refused to.

"How dare you. How dare you mope around for so long, throwing a pity party for your girlfriend who died. Do you have any idea how bloody selfish you've been? You've only lost a girlfriend, I lost a best friend and a sister. In some way, I lost you too. But saying that makes me sound selfish, doesn't it? Well, get this. Mom and dad lost a son too. Do you have any idea how much of hurt you've caused them? How much of pain they are in seeing you like this? No, of course you didn't." I laughed dryly "Because you are freaking selfish, that's what you are. Don't care about anyone else but you. This is all about.. Aakansha, right? Well did you ever think how disappointed she would be if she were seeing you right now?" I spat, more out of pent up frustration than anger.

I was being insensitive, I admit. I was being downright malevolent. But I was done being sensitive to him. There was only so much time for which one could be sensitive towards another person.

All he now needed was a tight slap in the face.

"I'm done with your crap. All of it." I said in finality "get this is your head, Ayaan. Aakansha's gone. It's hard to accept, heck it's heartbreaking. But it's true, okay? She's in a better place now. And as much as I hate to say this, she's not coming back. Ever. The sooner you accept this, the better." I said loudly, clenching my teeth "all this time. all this freaking time, you've been an ass to all of us. All of us, including mom and dad. They have been tolerating you because they love you. I love you too. To effing bits, okay? That's why I'm doing this. Saying all of this. Because you need to understand. Get it through that stupid, thick head of yours." I was panting by the end of it, probably looking about as enraged as a bull which saw red.

These were one of the word vomits that I was actually happy about and regretted at the same time.

I was beyond surprised that Ayaan hadn't hung up, despite being called names and yelled at.

He hadn't said anything, but judging from his breathing on the other end I knew he was'nt hanging up either. So I took in a huge breath, swallowed and then chose the words I spoke next carefully.

"The past is gone. And it took her with it, whether we liked it or not. I know, you hate yourself for loving her. You won't say it, but I know it's true." I said sadly "Ayaan, do you really think Aakansha would want you to do that? Tell me one thing, what if it was her in your place, huh? Would you want to see her like you are right now? Lifeless? A robot of a man?" I sighed "what are you doing with your life, Ayaan? What are you doing to yourselves, to people around you, to us? Do you realize that?"

He still didn't say anything. All I heard was silence but I knew he was listening. I sighed again, shutting my eyes "I know you still love her, bhai." I whispered, addressing him in a way I rarely did "But this can't go on forever, can it? The past is gone. Besides.." I trailed, feeling a small smile creep on my lips "someone told me, you can't really start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one, can you?"

I was kinda hoping for him to say something, but deep down I knew he wouldn't. This was like a wake up call for him, and it surely was going to take time to sink in fully. Afterall, two years is a long time.

"Choice is yours, Ayaan. Yo--" I was interrupted by my phone buzzing against my ear causing me to pull it back in surprise.

I looked at it in confusion and groaned.

"Ofcourse. Great time to lose battery life." I muttered to myself, hitting my phone against my palm stupidly thinking it would light up again "Ugh." I groaned again, throwing it on the bed with enough force but at the same time, not sending it bouncing off the surface.

I then realized that I had been pacing around my room sub consciously as I talked. I sat back on my bed, shoulders slouching.

"Stupid stupid stupid." I chanted, slapping my forehead rapidly. As if the dramatic conversation with Ayaan wasn't enough, it ended even more dramatically.

He must be thinking I hung up on him, oh crap.

He must be trying my phone and realizing it was switched off, he must be thinking I'm avoiding him now.

Oh crappity crap.

"Idiot." I groaned to myself, slapping my forehead for the nth time in the day.

I heard a knock on my door before it flew open.

"Oh, I thought you slept already." she said to me as she held her phone to her ear "she's awake. Yeah I'll give it to her, geez. Hold on." she rolled her eyes towards her phone before handing it to me "Here. Looks like a certain someone is desperate to talk to you."

I was too occupied to notice that she looked flustered and kept glancing behind her back as she thrust the phone in my hand.

"Oh thank heavens, he understood!" I exclaimed as I took the phone from her "Hello? Ayaan I'm so sorry. The phone g--"

"Hello?" A different voice said from the other end

"I-- Wait, you're not Ayaan." I said, looking up to shoot Stacey a confused look but I was greeted by an empty room. Okay, then.

"No shit, sherlock." he said dryly

"Why did you call?" I asked, the words sounding rather rude to my own ears.

"Wow, so much eagerness. I can almost feel it seeping through the phone."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean.. Sorry." I sighed, rubbing my temple "let me re-phrase it. Hi, Liam. What's up? Why did you call?"

"Better now." he said, chuckling dryly. I furrowed my eyebrows.

He sounds rather off..

"How do you exactly define off?"

"I.. Off as in.. Not yourself." I said, ignoring the fact that I'd spoken my thoughts out loud. Why does this happens with Liam only "you sound rather... blue."

"Blue?" he chuckled "like blue lingerie?"

I had to laugh at that "Yeah, blue like the lingerie."

"Wow, you..uh.. never mind." he said, clearing his throat

"What? Do you wanna say something?" I asked, folding my legs to sit more comfortably on my bed.

"No, no. It's nothing." he said, sounding exactly the contrary.

"Liam." I warned "say it. It's okay."

"It's just that.." he trailed "you have a nice laugh."

"Oh?" I half exclaimed, my voice sounding squeaky as I certainly had not expected that "umm.. thanks?"

"Yeah." he said, and I could picture him nodding his head "it's really nice. Beautiful even."

It was a simple compliment. But somehow, I felt my stomach fluttering at it.

Or maybe I'm just hungry.

Either way, my stomach felt really funny and I shifted awkwardly on the bed "Umm.. Thanks."

"You sound, well.." he trailed "..off too. Something wrong?"

"No it's just.." I sighed "Ayaan. I yelled at him. I told him he was a butthole and that he needed to grow up. I told him that he had quit moping about Aakansha and.. oh god, I'm a horrible sister."

There was a short silence on the line "Did you seriously call him a butt hole?"

"This isn't funny, okay?" I scolded, though I couldn't help but laugh "It's just that.. God, I feel horrible. I called him a selfish idiot and a robot and--"

"You're rambling. Stop." he said and I shut my mouth immediately "don't beat yourselves about it. You were right in your place. He needs to realize that he's been hurting everyone around him all this time. Once he realises that, he'll be fine."

"You think so?" I asked, unsurely.

"Hey" he said softly, "I know so."

My heartbeat suddenly quickened, so hard that I could feel the pounding up to my head.

"I hope you're, right." I said softly "I really do."

A short silence passed where neither of us spoke. But there was something strangely comforting about it. I was the first one to break it.

"Oh.. I almost forgot. The conversation was about you sounding off and here we are discussing my stupid problems, how very selfish on my part." I said, apologetically "I'm sorry."

"Selfish, yeah right." he snorted "and I told you it's.. Okay fine, it isn't nothing. It is something. I..I got something to tell you. Or rather, ask you."

"Bingo, finally." I snickered "go on, shoot."

I heard him hesitate and I sighed "You can tell me or ask me anything, Li. You know I won't judge."

"I know" he sighed. There was a lot of sighing happening in this phone conversation and it wasn't the good kind "that's why I'm telling you in the first place. I trust you."

I waited for him to continue as I got up from my bed. I was suddenly feeling all too jittery, having sudden curiosity bloom within me.

Calm down, heart!

"So.. I was saying.." he trailed

My heart thudded again, loudly like it was making its presence known. Why was I feeling so jittery all of a sudden?

"It's about.." he trailed before sighing "Anna."

Three words. Three words were all it took. It's strange how powerful three words can be.

I trust you.. I am sorry.. I am pregnant.. I got food.. I hate you..

I love you..

Laconism at its best but they convey a message which can't be put together even with a thousand words together. They're powerful. The emotions they evoke, even more so.

It's about Anna.

Three simple words, one of them being a name. Yet they sent a surge of a very foreign emotion surge through me.

And that's when I knew.

"Hello? Are you there?" I heard his voice demand causing me to jerk back to reality. I gasped, my throat suddenly feeling really heavy "I just asked you something, idiot."

I opened my mouth to reply, but all I could get out was an unintelligible sound

"What was that? You said something?" I heard him he ask, he then sighed "never mind. I shouldn't be surprised since it's you. I should be used to you spacing out, but surprisingly I'm not. Now that you're listening, I think, I'll just repeat myself.. But don't make me say it again." he scolded "okay, here goes.." Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Like, the whole thing with Anna... Is it.. right? "

No, my conscience said and for the first time in my life, I agreed with it.

But I put on a smile before finally saying the words I regretted saying once they slipped out of my mouth.

"Yes." I barely made out "yes, you are."

With that, I hung up the phone.

"Stupid stupid stupid." I chanted, slapping my forehead repeatedly in the same fashion as before. Only this time, I actually felt pain. Though it wasn't on my forehead.

My knees gave away under me and I sank into my carpet, still clutching my head.

"Perfect timing." I said to myself "You had to fall for him at the wrong time didn't you?"

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XXXXXXXXXX

I can literally hear the Litika people sighing in relief xDD

Next update soon :*

I've been ill for the past week. Viral. Sigh.

I'm okay now though
So t(^.t^)

That's a happy dancing Japanese emoji, for everyone who doesn't know..

Jk I just made it up rn lol

Coteee❤

Stay beautiful❤

Kay❤