❑❑❑

( one. )

baby : *is crying*
youngmi : *awkwardly picks up the baby*
youngmi : it's okay... you'll learn how to do that on the inside when you get older.
taeil :
taeil : dude, are you okay?

( two. )

kiki : ʰᶦ ᶦ'ᵐ ᵏᶦᵏᶦ
jungwoo : ʰᶦ ᶦ'ᵐ ʲᵘⁿᵍʷᵒᵒ
jace : HI I'M JACE
kiki : ᵒʰ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵛᵒᶦᶜᵉ ᶦˢ ˢᵒ ˢᵒᶠᵗ
jungwoo : ʸᵒᵘʳˢ ᶦˢ ᵗᵒᵒ
jace : WHAT AND WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING ?? I CAN'T HEAR !!

( three. )

seoyeon : explain to me how you two got into an accident.
sicheng : well, we were driving and there was a deer on the road and jace didn't notice it so i said "jace, deer!"
seoyeon : and?
sicheng : tell her your answer.
jace :
jace, sighing : "yes, honey?"

( four. )

mark : if you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same.
nixie : okay, but if you kill a hundred killers, then it goes down by like 99.
mark :
mark : I GUESS.

( five. )

jungwoo : i'm not jealous. i just get this burning feeling in my chest when i see kiki having fun with someone who's not me.
doyoung : yeah, uh . . that's jealousy.

( six. )

sicheng : i'm so cold.
johnny : i don't control the weather, so i can't help you.
seoyeon : yeah, i'm cold too.
johnny : oh, here take my jacket, my hoodie, my money, my life, my love. should i hug you? or make you hot chocolate? do you need a blanket or something?
sicheng :
sicheng : bitch.

( seven. )

jaehyun, with a wide smile : this day is going really well, isn't it?
ahn : haneul texted you again?
jaehyun : with a heart emoji this time hehehehehehe

( eight. )

nixie, sighing : if only someone out there loved me.
mark, whispering : if only nixie knew how much i love her.
yuta, yelling : IF ONLY YOU TWO WOULD LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND CONFESS GODDAMMIT

( nine. )

saerom : everybody has that one gay cousin.
jace : i don't have a gay cousin . .
jace :
jace : wait ,,
jace : i am the gay cousin.

( ten. )

byul : i'm craving something sweet :(
yuta, gesturing to himself : ;)
byul : i said something sweet, not a heap of salt.

( eleven. )

jungwoo : can you do the thing?
kiki : what thing?
jungwoo : the thing that never fails to make me happy.
kiki : oh.
kiki : [ smiles ]
jungwoo : thank you.

( twelve. )

[ meeting w/ chief officers ]
ahn : if yuta and i were drowning, who would you save?
jaehyun : you morons can't even swim on your own?
yuta : it's a hypothetical question, who would you save?
jaehyun : my time and effort.

( thirteen. )

[ a crossword puzzle
with the interviewers ]
saerom : mark, what's a three letter word for happiness?
mark : nixie.
saerom : i said three letters.
mark : nyx.
saerom :
mark :

( fourteen. )

[ networkly gc ]
byul : how to get a sugar daddy
the members :
byul : oh wait
byul : this isn't google

( fifteen. )

ryot : so how do i tell the person i like that i love him?
taeyong : just suck it up and do it!
ryot : okay, love you.
taeyong : aww, love you too, now go tell him!
ryot : i just did ;)
taeyong : how did it go?!? did he say it back?!?
ryot :
ryot : dude.

( sixteen. )

youngmi : a mosquito tried to bite me and i slapped it and killed it.
youngmi : and i started thinking.
youngmi : like, it was only trying to get food.
youngmi : what if i went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
youngmi : how would i feel?
taeil :
taeil :
taeil : are you really okay?

( seventeen. )

[ at a movie theater ]
jaehyun : how do you want your popcorn? sweet or salty?
kiki, making heart eyes at jungwoo : i want them like him.
jungwoo : awwww <3
jaehyun : but ,,
jaehyun : they don't sell ugly popcorn.

( eighteen. )

ahn : i'm good at keeping my crush a secret.
doyoung : *walks into the room*
ahn : i have to gay━i mean go.

( nineteen. )

yuta : i wore my contacts to bed. sometimes i think i'm stupid.
byul : don't worry, i do that all the time.
yuta : wearing your contacts to bed?
byul : thinking you're stupid.

( twenty. )

saerom : hyuck, can you turn the lights on?
haechan : i don't need to! you're the only light i need in my life.
saerom : i━
seoyeon : NONE OF US CAN SEE

( twenty-one. )

[ after being promoted
to ceo's secretary ]
taeil : haneul━
haneul, tearing up : the pr team used to call me haneul :'(
taeil : that's because it's your fucking name.

( twenty-two. )

kiki : do you ever feel bugs on you when there are no bugs?
johnny : those are the ghosts of the bugs you've killed.
kiki :
johnny :
kiki :
sicheng : look at what you did, you scared her you stupid idiot.

( twenty-three. )

ryot : bro.
taeyong : what, bro?
ryot : tell the whole world that we're bros.
taeyong, whispering : we're bros.
ryot : why'd you whisper, bro?
taeyong : because you're my whole world, bro.
ryot, clutching chest : b r o

( twenty-four. )

seoyeon : so johnny texted me
seoyeon : he said "your cute"
seoyeon : and i said "no, YOU'RE cute"
seoyeon : and now we're dating
seoyeon : all i did was point out a grammar mistake.

( twenty-five. )

[ first day as a bartender ]
customer : i'll have a martini dry.
youngmi, staring at the liquid ingredients : i don't know how to tell you this . .

( twenty-six. )

[ texting ]
haechan : bone jaw
saerom : what?
haechan : bone jaw
haechan : are you dumb
saerom : ??
haechan : it's french for hello, dumbass

( twenty-seven. )

doyoung : what's wrong with you?
ahn : i have this self-esteem problem where i hate myself, but i still think i'm better than everyone else.

❑❑❑

♤ gabrielle's note

celebratory shitposts because we're finally gonna start the main developments and main conflicts!