It's that time of evening where the sun is a hazy pool of gold in the horizon. I stand on the ever changing edges of the shore relishing the ocean breeze as I wait for Crossing Ceremony to begin. Down the beach, soft light streams down onto the four Stonehenge-like pillars representing the elements. In the middle of them is the flat, uncut moonstone known as Crossing's Rock. It's on that surface where fates are decided, where lives are either made or ruined.

Parents gather around the elemental pillars, their eyes shaded with hope. Soon their children will stand upon Crossing's Rock and a gateway will open to one of the Convent towers, where they'll learn to use their powers.

When I was younger, I imagined the moment the portal opened for me. No one knows what element they'll be assigned to, but my dream was always the same. The smoky twines of mist and magic would reach out to me from in between the pillars of Earth. Not because the mossy green color of their Convent robes looks great against my toffee skin and copper curls, but there was something beautiful about their connection with nature. A pull I feel in my soul whenever I rummage for herbs or blend them for tonics and potions. Surely being raised by Aunt Sabana had something to do with it, though I always chalked it off to Fate preparing me to serve Earth by granting me one of the best teachers as an aunt.

Obviously I was wrong. It's a bit of a morbid thought, but I guess it's a good thing my parents are dead. They were powerful magicians, a fire elemental and an air. For their daughter to have no powers would have been an insult to them.

Beside me, Aunt Sabana drones on about everything I'm to do while she's gone. I know how to run the store. I've lived with her since I was a baby. I try to pay attention, but my mind drifts to Roane. Not so much him, but the fact that I'd had a vision. It's been years since I've had one, and my limited magic is much weaker now than it was then. Eventually, I'll have no magic at all.

Aunt Sabana strokes a wrinkled hand along my hair and startles me from thought. "I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone, Aramina." She tucks a curly strand behind my ear. "Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"And keep these recruits from learning Botany from the best? No, go. I'll be fine, really."

"Then why don't you come to Convent? You'll be safe there. You can help me teach. I don't mind closing up the store for a few months."

I curl into my sweater and shift back like it's somehow possible to physically move away and hide from the conversation. "You know why I can't."

Convent is the headquarters of all Northern magicians. Caleb personally oversees Sanctuary, the non-magics division and his mother's grand work. I'll see him every day.

"Well, the shop is protected," she says with a knowing nod. "You don't want to know the spells I used, so don't ask." She smiles, but it quickly fades to compressed brows. "You still seem worried."

I dig my feet into the sand as if searching for the meaning of it all. It grits my toes, the same way memory of the vision pricks at my mind.

"I had a vision about someone-someone we don't know," I add to head off any questions. "He walked down a snowy path in a forest, toward a dark cave." Tingles flutter down my spine at the recollection and I rub my arms at the goosebumps sprouted along my skin. "The darkness there was alive, and it hurt me to think of him going into it. I felt so much would be lost if he did. And for a split second, I..." I inch in closer and make sure no one is near. "I saw the Great Mistress. He shifted and became her, but then turned back to him."

A line creases Aunt Sabana's forehead, her lips a flat line. "That's a serious vision. Living darkness is known to represent black magic." She's quiet for a thoughtful minute. "He's on a snowy path, a journey. I think in this case, the snow is white magic and the tunnel represents black. You said you felt much would be lost if he went in there? I believe that's what The Great Mistress may symbolize, loss. By him walking into that cave, you will lose him, just as we all lost her. He may be turning away from his Coven."

"But he isn't a part of one. He said he's had different teachers but he's never belonged to a Coven."

Her blue eyes narrow. "I thought you said you didn't know him."

I open my mouth, but shut it at that. Warmth pricks my face.

She puts a cool hand on my cheek. "You don't have to explain anything to me. If you found someone other than Caleb, then I'm glad of it."

I turn my face away from her touch. "It's not that. There's no one else. I just met him and had the vision, that's all."

She hums. "Well, if your magic pulsed enough for you to get a sense of him, then it's important and you must listen to it. He's your charge and it's up to you to do all you can to keep him in the light."

Great. I debate leaving and Fate throws me a charge as a parting gift.

"Did you see anything else?" she asks.

I shake my head. "I can try using a summoning spell-"

"No, no. Don't force it. Sometimes visions come piece by piece. If you draw it out, it might blend with your own thoughts and leave you more confused than you already are. It's best to let them come. I'll meditate on it tonight."

Movement over her shoulder tugs at my attention. I lock eyes with Claudius, High Mage of the East and the biggest opponent of the Sanctuary program. He talks with Mage Edward, Caleb's uncle and Magus of the North. He's the one who assumed the position of Magus until Caleb completes the rites needed before he can assume the chair vacated by his mother. In four months, he'll be ready.

Catching my eye, Mage Edward smiles and approaches us. Mage Claudius frowns behind him, clearly not fond of the idea. I ease back from Aunt Sabana as they come up alongside us.

Mage Edwards greets Aunt Sabana with a kiss on the cheek. Her meadowsweet ale makes her a favorite, especially with the men. They tolerate me simply because of her.

He inclines his head to me and rakes back white hairs that sprinkle onto his forehead. His eyes are green, though closer to hazel than Caleb's emerald green. Through his aged face, it's clear he was handsome in his youth-a regal posture, strong cheekbones, an aristocratic nose, and thick lashes that accentuate his eyes. Mage Claudius is another story. Short and stout, he takes me in with seedy black eyes. His hair is just as dark and horseshoes the bald spot on top of his head.

"I'm so glad to see you here celebrating this transition with us, Aramina," Mage Edward says. "I didn't think you would come."

"Yes," Mage Claudius says drawly. "I can imagine it's rather painful, seeing so many ascend to their powers while you..." He trails off with a sigh. "But, we must learn to live with the lot we are given in life." His eyes crinkle at the corners with a weak smile.

I mirror it. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Though a non-magic, I still consider myself a part of the magic community, as we all are." My smile widens as his fades. Some people find it insulting for a non-magic to consider themselves equal to magicians, especially Mage Claudius.

"Of course, my dear. It's the love of magic that unites us," Aunt Sabana adds, oblivious to the secret conversation of our eyes.

"A word, Sabana, please," Magus Regent says, eyeing the crates of Meadowsweet being loaded onto the ships that will transport the bigger cargo. Their talk fades to murmurs as they move away. I gaze back and frown, dismayed to see Mage Claudius still standing there.

His gaze is focused away. Trailing it, my heart skips a little. He's looking at his daughter, Vale talking to Caleb. Vale is everything I used to be and was supposed to be, but won't ever be. She graduated top of her class, and in Crossing was found to be a powerful seer, much like Caleb's mother. Once word got out that I was a non-magic, it was her name that was linked to Caleb.

I'd be an idiot to say Vale is hideous. She isn't. She reminds me of snow white with her natural blush, pin straight black hair, and pouty lips. I've long come to accept my tanned skin and unruly hair, and resigned the fact she was beautiful because my life was on a set course for success. I didn't need to envy her when I was the one to be envied.

"Perhaps you would like to hear this from me first," he says.

I swallow, my stomach finding a home in my throat. "Tell me what?"

"With the Great Mistress missing and Caleb next to inherit, he will need someone at his side who understands the demands of his position."

My attention shoots back to him, my pulse quick.

"He'll need someone who understands magic, someone who'll be able to help him lead our people. Magus Regent and I have decided it's time for Caleb and Vale to join and give our people new hope. Together, they represent the best of magic and will be an inspiration to the next generation of magics."

The sand beneath my feet suddenly feels to bubble, as if wanting to swallow me whole. It's not moving. It's my soul, breaking and falling at my feet. Caleb, my Caleb marrying another? Her? In a year of knowing we'd never be together, I imagined this moment would come. I prepared for it, hoped I'd be strong enough to be reassigned before Caleb found someone else. Now the moment is staring me in the face like a broken puzzle and I can't make sense of anything. And as much as I wish against it, everything blurs behind my tears.

At my wrist, my heartstring feels to burn my skin. It was supposed to be tied around his wrist to signify our intention of union. But now it's a fact that he won't ever cut it, won't ever tie it around his wrist, and it will never burn, in turn joining us together under Convent law. Our lives will never be bound as his will with Vale.

"We haven't spoken to them of it yet, but I'm certain they'll agree it's what is best for our people."

"Caleb is old enough to make up his own mind. If he doesn't want to marry her—"

"He wants to marry you, but you and I both know why that can't happen. Our people need strong leadership in a time like this, with your kind being taken and with the Great Mistress's disappearance. You must think about what is best for our people, for Caleb, for you..."

My eyes snap to his. "Is that a threat?"

"This is beyond a simple crush, Aramina," he says, evading my question. "Do you think we need civil distress in a time like this? For Caleb to choose you would be a slap in the face to every Magic. And may I remind you, Magus Regent is king until Caleb inherits. If Caleb refuses his order, it will be seen as insubordination and it will not be tolerated. Will you be the reason he loses his crown?"

I fist my hands, struggling to hold on to control. "You can force him to marry Vale, but he'll always love me."

He laughs, a glint in his wolf eyes. "I don't care who he loves. I care about who he marries, and he's going to marry Vale. Don't be selfish, think of Caleb."

My fingers tighten as he walks away, black robes billowing behind him. As much as I want to break him in half, it'll do little for my heart that's already shattered.

The ceremony bells ring once, warning that Crossing will soon begin. My eyes instantly lock with Caleb's. A line marks his brow. He's known me for long enough to know when I'm close to breaking. I turn and walk away before he can see the first tear fall.

I make it down the beach, to Cole's Crab Shack before I can't go any further. Thankfully, it's closed as Cole's daughter is due to cross. Walking to the side of it, out of view of everyone on the beach, I lean back against the wooden exterior. My body is shaking, tears are falling, but I can't feel anything. My heart is gone.

Within seconds, Caleb rounds the corner and proves me wrong. My heart heaves at seeing him. With no words spoken, he takes me into his arms. I let him, giving myself that moment because after this crossing, he'll no longer be mine.   

I haul in as deep a breath as I can and relish all my favorite scents, that of the ocean, and of him. He tries to pull me back, to see my face, but I hold him tighter. I can't let him go. Not yet. He reciprocates and slips his arms around my waist where he brings me closer. I close my eyes against his pulse, losing myself in the feel of him. The waves roar; I want them to swallow us up and drag us away.

When I know I've held him for long enough, which is never possibly enough, I ease back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

He tilts my head up, grazes a thumb along my jaw. "I've been waiting for that for so long. Don't push me away again, Ro, please."

His words hit my soul. I clutch at his shirt, wanting to hold onto him, to keep him from going back to Convent, to keep my emotions from getting the best of me.

"You're an amazing man, Caleb, and you're going to be a great leader. Our people look to you to lead them, to protect them." I need to believe it. I need to believe it. "They need you."

"And I need you." He turns his eyes down to my hands at his chest and runs a finger along the red thread tied at my wrist. "My uncle is stuck in the old ways, but once I'm Magus, my first mandate will be that every non-magic is to be considered an equal magician. Then we'll take care of this little problem." He runs a thumb along my heartstring. "I already told you, I won't give you up, Ro."

I wish that was our only problem, wish I could convince him that this is what's best for us. We would never last. I would eventually break us.

The bells toll the second warning. Caleb weaves his hands into my hair and runs his gaze along my face. His brow dips as if sight of me hurts. And then his lips press against mine.

I surrender, mold into him, a willing captive between his hard body and the wall. I've missed him so much, the taste of him, the feel of his hands that slip under my sweater and onto my bare back. The way my soul feels at peace when I'm in his arms. I want him. All of him. But the bells toll again before I get lost in this mistake and my heart sinks.

It's time.

With a final kiss, Caleb backs away, but we never release our entwined hands. Regardless of whatever happens once he goes through those pillars, once ordered to be with Vale, for this moment, there is no Crossing. No magic. We're just two people in love and we're okay.

We walk down the beach together, watch parents hug their children a little tighter. Their kids let them, no doubt realizing how much they'll actually miss their parents. They'll be gone for three years, the first of which no parents are allowed on campus. Sometimes many decide to take on missionary work and will be gone for much longer.

We stop beside Aunt Sabana. She looks to us, gazes down at our tangled fingers, and smiles. "Change your mind about going to Convent?"

I shake my head and awareness clouds her stare. She takes my other hand in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. Together, we turn to where the ceremony has started and the first group of wizards cross, followed by the witches. Portal after portal opens, white clouds exploding outward between the various pillars. Both Caleb and Aunt Sabana's hands tighten on mine as each new magician vanishes into the mist of their respective element, but it doesn't hurt to see all the new magicians learn their fate. I pray none will succumb to mine.

When the ceremony is over, I breathe freer. No non-magic's in our coven for this year.

Once all the recruits have found their place, Caleb and Aunt Sabana release me. I turn to her first, and she hugs me tighter than before.

"Oh, my dear girl, be safe. I'll check in on you, and if you need me, call. If you change your mind and want to come, don't worry about the store. Just come." She releases me, gives me her blessing, and wiping a tear from her eye, she rushes off. I know that given another minute, she'd break down.

Caleb welcomes me into his arms, and I walk in willingly.

"Four more months," he whispers into my hair. Breaking away a slight, he grazes the skin beside my lips. "Four more and I won't ever lose you again." He cradles my neck and dips his head.

I moisten my lips, my stomach flutters-

"Caleb, there you are!" Mage Claudius's voice cuts in from behind. "Do you mind escorting Vale? She never likes going through the portal by herself, and I have to stay behind and tend to a few matters so I will be unable to accompany her."

Inches away from my lips, Caleb shuts his eyes and straightens. Opening them, he looks to Mage Claudius and Vale over his shoulder. She smiles at me and shrugs, then looks to Caleb. Her smile widens.

Caleb's jaw clenches. "We'll leave in a minute."

He weaves a hand into my hair and catches my lips in a kiss. I wish I'd had a moment to prepare, to savor the gentle glide of his lips, to memorize them, but the kiss is over before my next breath.

"Four months," he whispers against my mouth, and with a last kiss, he lets me go.

In the face of Mage Claudius and Vale's stares, he walks away from me to the line of elder magicians entering the portals. As the youngest, he stands at the end of the line with Vale until their turn arrives.

Caleb and Vale are last. He looks over his shoulder and nods to me, as if solidifying everything he's ever promised. One step, and they vanish through the portal as if never having existed. But he exists, and as much as everyone wishes for me to forget him—as much as I should forget him, he will always exist for me.

I will sign the reassignment papers.

***

The store is quiet, at last. It was madness right after Crossing. From the moment the portals closed, many bee-lined to the shop. By the time I arrived, there was a line down the street. They all knew Aunt Sabana left a few crates of Meadowsweet behind. Last year, we sold them the day before Crossing and got through half of the line before we sold out. This year, I made sure to ration it so everyone got a bottle. That much was in my control.

I trudge up to my room and settle down on the window seat with my usual book in hand, a journal Caleb's mother gifted me the week before she vanished. The black vines embroidered along the length of the cover is beautiful, and it's always pained me to think of writing in it. It's this strange feeling that I simply can't. Instead, I spend my time flipping through the book as if expecting something to change. Though the onion paper pages are blank, the book feels heavy and I constantly find myself trying to read words that aren't there.

Today, I ignore the phantom words. My eyes instead fix on the folded reassignment form. An acrid pit forms in my heart. I run my fingers along the contract and it all seems like a dream. I'm leaving. Before it was a debate. Now it's a certainty. Whatever hope was left of me regaining a part of my life before Crossing died the minute I heard of Caleb's imminent duty to his people. To magic.

The sound of an empty bottle rolling against the wood floor resounds from downstairs. My breaths slow. The bottle whirrs to a stop, and then all is quiet. I set aside the book and sit up slowly, ears perked. I thought I locked all the doors.

The staircase floorboards moan, telling me I didn't.

I suck in a breath and pad lightly to my dresser. Opening the drawer, I draw a small dagger Aunt Sabana gifted me when non-magics began disappearing.

Fight for your life, she'd said. I clutch the leather handle tighter, determined to.

I turn to my computer table where my phone is charging, but the floorboards whine outside of my door and another moan comes from a bit further away. My hands dampen around the leather handle. There are two of them out there, and they're not here for Meadowsweet. I'll never make it to my phone. Not before they've opened the door. Trembling, I haul in a breath, reach over, and twist the lock-

The door is shoved open and collides against me. I topple backwards onto the floor. A sharp pain slices down my head that slams against the dresser and specks of light flash before my eyes. They attempt to open the door again, but I'm wedged behind it and the dresser. I shift forward, shove my feet against the door. Whoever it is pushes back, squeezes an arm through the part, and blindly grabs my foot. Curling forward, I swipe at their arm with my dagger. Blood splatters onto my foot.

They retract their hand with a feral growl. One pound and the door explodes open, thrusting my feet aside. Two men clad in black stand on the other side. I can't see their faces in the shadow of the hall, but one thrust a hand before him and my heart stops. A circle with a smaller dot at center is tattooed on their palm.

The sun symbol.

A Convent mark.

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Abrazos fuertes,