The first rays of sunlight find us in the middle of the forest closest to the troll lands. King Finvarra thought it best to depart the kingdom before daylight so his people wouldn't see our caravan and worry that things weren't as perfect and peaceful as they seem to be in Forever. Traveling with Roane was sure to bring about rumors of which he wished to avoid. I don't mind rumors as much as I fear any violence. Though Roane had his weapons returned him, this is the faerie realm. And unlike the nether bridges, here we won't just meet a handful of trolls. It will be the two of us against a mob of angry faeries.

Around me, the guards check their weapons and supplies one last time. Dressed in black cloaks and attire, they look like ink blots against the white snow. I, too, wear black, and it's fitting; I feel as if in mourning. Where we're going is synonymous with death, and it's chilled me to the core from the moment I woke up in Roane's arms.

Stroking the brown mare I was assigned, I look to where Roane speaks with Finvarra. Despite my mood, it's impossible not to smile. Though Finvarra's iciness is palpable, there is a sense of respect in how he regards Roane. And while Roane wants to appear unaffected, his admiration for Finvarra is clear.

But my smile falls and I rest my head against the mare's neck. Will whatever advice Finvarra gives him be enough to keep Roane safe and away from the darkness he's set to inherit? Will the memories we've made keep him safe and grounded as evil fights him for control of his body, of his soul? Worry swells in my throat and squeezes tears into my eyes.

"You worry for him."

Queen Leanna appears beside me. With her pale skin and white coat she is one with the surrounding snow, and just as beautiful. Her dark eyes are keen, however, and when she looks at me, I can't deny the truth and nod. "I worry for him and for another. Roane has to face darkness now," I say. "And I left someone behind that may be facing their own troubles, and I can't do anything to keep them from it. It's like whichever way I turn, I'm losing someone I love and I'm terrified." 

My first tear spills onto my cheek. 

She moves before me and brushes it away. "I, too, almost lost Finvarra once. Darkness wished to take him away and ruin these lands, but we fought it with everything we had." She looks to him and a sad smile tips her lips, her expression touched by memory. She gazes back to me, eyes darkened with conviction. "As much as it wishes to grip you, you cannot fear. It will rob you of your magic when you need it most. Besides, you carry with you the one thing that can dispel this evil." Pressing a hand upon my heart, she nods once. "Remember love. You must fight for it even when you think all is lost. It's never gone until we let it go."

A cold wind blows, sending frost swirls from the trees. We turn to Roane and Finvarra approaching. Around us, the sentries have mounted their horses and await Finvarra's word. My heart pounds, but Leanna looks at me and I bolster myself in the memory of her words. Roane doesn't need my fear, not when I know he has a heart full of his own.

"It's time," he says. "We should be to the caves by midday." Taking the reins from my hands, he turns to Finvarra. "Thank you again for everything. I am indebted to you."

"Our debts are settled." He extends a pale hand. Roane meets it, and they clasp one another's wrists.

A part of my heart swells feeling as though before going into the darkness, we've already won a battle. But as they release one another and I remember our destination, my heart dims in knowing the war is yet to come.

❄❄❄

It no longer rains in the troll lands and sunlight threads over my eyes. I lift the hood of my cloak over my head and turn away from the sun, though a part of me thinks I should bear it, however much it stings my eyes. Once we're in the Nether, there's no saying when I'll see sunlight again.

The horse rocks beneath us, carrying us through a narrow valley that cuts through a deep chasm. Roane revealed we would be traveling through the underground passage he used to escape. His uncle will then house us in his temple until the Swelling when Roane is due to take on the evil that lives in the Nether. I worried that we wouldn't be able to blend in, especially the faeries. Though dressed in peasant attire—as Roane had instructed them—the hue of their skin is resplendent. Finvarra's chief guard, Addamack assured us they could control their glamour, but in deep darkness, I doubt they could hide even a slight of their magic and light.

Roane eased my fears by revealing that before Swelling, dark elves look very much like the faeries, and since different provinces take on the darkness at different ages, Addamack and his men will be able to blend in. Humans are a different story, which doesn't make me feel the least bit better.

The closer we get to the tunnels leading to the Nether, the more my stomach clenches. The loneliness is unnerving. The gnarled branches seem to reach for us, and though all is quiet, it's a loaded silence, deafening. I force my eyes to the ravine walls, where large holes mark the surface. "What are those?"

"My people used to mine here," Roane says as we pass the open tunnels. "This was how they were forced to flee, into holes and into the darkness."

It makes perfect sense, and I realize it's their despair that still haunts the space around us. Aunt Sabana once said that horrible events will stain a location, and often times, the ghost of these misfortunes linger. A gust wafts from inside, sounding of low howls and moaning cries, and smelling of sulfur. A shiver curls down my spine and I lean into Roane's back. Agony lives here, and I suppress heaves to throw up. To scream. To cry. To mourn. To run...

He points up to a cliff peak, where intricate markings are carved into the stone but have eroded over time. The remnants of a structure still remain, but only as piles of rubble and boulders.

"That was where our kingdom once stood as a beacon to its people. Now there's only ruin," he says, gazing out a phantom kingdom long gone.

"It will stand again."

He cups a hand on mine and we ride in silence the rest of the way until he holds up a hand. Behind us, the riders stop.

"We're here," he says to Addamack who rides up alongside us. He juts his head to the cave across from us. Addamack nods and holds a fist to his men. They instantly dismount. I delay, holding onto Roane for a moment longer. He squeezes my hands as though knowing why I refuse to let him go, even if for a minute. In that minute, he is mine. In that minute we can still run away from it all.

But releasing him, I unwind my arms from his waist and dismount. He can't run away from this, and I won't leave him to face it alone.

He leads the horse to where the others are tied, waiting for our return. Addamack and his men gather in a semi-circle around him. "The path spirals and breaks off a few times. I suggest you stay close to the person in front of you. I'll lead the way."

He reaches out and takes a hold of my hand. Warmth prickles my finger as he shares his magic with me.

"What are you doing? I'm fine," I say.

"It'll help with nausea. It's your first time being exposed to that darkness, and it can be hard. Whatever you see or hear down there, remember I'm with you."

I nod. "And I'm with you."

Hand in hand, we turn into the mouth of the cave.

"Ready?" he asks me.

My legs feel a little weak. There is nothing but blackness and uncertainty in that void. But gripping my hand tightly around Roane's, I nod, remembering the first memory he shared with me, of watching the sunrise from one of these caves with his uncle. 

I squeeze his hand. "Ready."

We travel inside, my heart thundering with each step. White smoke emanates from the Fae and their swords that illuminate in the darkness and light our path. It does nothing for the temperatures. The heat is stifling and humidity clings to my pores, conspiring with the smell of sulfur that burns my nose as if to suffocate me slowly. Even with Roane's magic seeping into me, my nostrils burn, my head feels light, and everything in front of me turns to a speckled mess in my watery eyes.

A cool breeze brushes past. I close my eyes to relish ever millisecond of it, to lose myself in that slight of relief, but within the breeze, I hear it: whispers.

Aramina...

I suck in a breath. The air fills my lungs, and with it, the darkness feels to invade my insides, drawing truths from my soul with each breath. I hear the voices everywhere, in my head and out in the wind. They call me useless, powerless, and a burden on everyone I love.

Look around you, they say. They have power. You don't.

"Don't listen to them." Roane squeezes my hand. "It feeds off your fear and anger, all your dark emotions."

I shake my head, banishing the thoughts. "I'll try."

"Just think of memories..." His sword illuminates the small space around us, and in its light, I can see the flicker of desire in his brown eyes. Remembering our previous night, a furious blush warms my cheeks and burns away the invading thoughts.

He smiles and turns back to guide us.

We walk for what feels like hours, and the deeper we go, the queasier my stomach grows. The darkness and heat breed panic, but with Roane's hand in mine, we keep to a steady pace until we reach a clearing.

A massive black gate borders a courtyard where a cathedral-like structure is built out of the mountain etched into the stone. Roane sheathes his sword and holds a hand out to us. We press tight against the cavern wall. It's a short distance to the gate that's parted slightly, cobwebs hanging in between the two doors.

"Wait here." Roane flips the hood over his head. "I have to tell my Uncle we've arrived."

Exhaling, he presses a kiss at my temple, as if borrowing from my strength. He leaves me quickly, and I imagine it to be like ripping off a band-aid. If he lingers, it'll only be harder to let go. It's hard already.

He vanishes through the gate, and the pit in my stomach tightens. A breeze gusts past again and the whispers intensify. Addamack whirls a hand. The troupe of Fae gather around me, their swords drawn.

"Your fear will draw them close," Addamack warns. "Do not fear for him. He will return."

In the coolness of their light, I'm able to draw strength from them. They stand tall and unafraid, secure in their magic. Anchoring myself on their presence and on thoughts of Roane, of Aunt Sabana, of Caleb, of the Great Mistress—of all the reasons we had to undertake this task, I exhale and straighten. This darkness will not take away everything. I won't let it. Not anymore.

Roane appears at the gate and waves for us to come. Addamack nods to one of the guards. The soldier inches into the opening and surveys the space. He holds up an open palm. At the sign, Addamack assumes the lead and the rest of the Fae band around me as we hustle across the clearing and into the gate.

The courtyard is small, a tomb of broken statues, books and small pieces of what appear to be metal on the ground. 

"Is that metal?" I ask. I bend to touch a piece, but Roane grips my wrist before my hand touches the rusted surface.

"You don't want to touch that," he says to me and the guards.

"This was her lair, wasn't it? Machina's?" Addamack asks. "Your grandfather gave her shelter in his caves to carry out her evil."

Roane nods and my pulse slows. Tales of Machina and Finvarra were the foundation of our history. It was what I learned in history books, why he was banished and why our realms are divided. He had the trolls build a mechanical heart for him to keep alive a woman he loved. They powered the heart with black magic, and she became a monster, killing any woman Finvarra cared for. I'd always been fascinated by the tale of a mechanical monster powered by dark magic, but it's a different story being surrounded by the same evil that is set to consume Roane.

We move across the courtyard at a steady pace. A stream of faint light pours out from in between twisted vines hanging from the cathedral entrance. Roane shifts them to the side, revealing a parted stone door. He holds the vines aside for me to enter then follows me through, trailed by Addamack and his men.

Entering a large circular room, I shiver. The floor is checkered black and white, and the walls are lined with torn fabric, resembling a twisted circus. In the breeze, a calliope resounds, underscored by moans and screeches.

The slicing of metal resounds as Addamack and the fae drew their swords, focused on a hole in the wall at the far end of the room.

"Stand down." Roane moves forward toward the opening where a troll has appeared, similar to the ones on the bridge in appearance. His scraggly hair and beard are braided and drag around him like his robes. A large nose takes up most of his face, not leaving much room for his seedy, yet kind eyes. 

"This is my uncle, Priest Urlec." Roane helps him over the rubble. I remember Roane mentioned his uncle taught him about the old world, about an existence without darkness.

He lifts his tiny eyes, the whites glinting in the light of the faeries. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long." His voice breaks upon the last word. "Welcome, and thank you."

He bows slightly while holding onto Roane's arm and his staff of twisted branches. Addamack motions for his men to lower their weapons. Sliding his sword back into his sheath, he inclines his head.

Urlec chuckles to himself. "I couldn't believe it when Roane told me Finvarra agreed to help. If there were a deeper and darker evil than this place, I would think he'd banish us to it."

"He might have, but Aramina spoke up for our people and won us his support," Roane says, holding a hand out to me. I slide my hand into his and let him bring me beside him.

His uncle smiles but a dispiriting look flashes over his eyes. "Oh, dear girl, our people are indebted to you, but you shouldn't have come. It's dangerous. They can blend in," he says, motioning to Addamack and his men. "But it will be safer for you to go back."

"I knew the risks coming here. I won't run now."

Ulrec seems unconvinced, but after a moment, he nods. "Very well. For the time, however, you must all remain here. The Swelling is in two sleeps and the temple is quite busy. These lower floors belong to me, and so you run no risk of being found. It's not much, but..."

"We will make do," Addamack says and turns to his men. Within seconds, they disperse around the room, standing guard at all points. Addamack mans the main door.

Ulrec turns to Roane and I. "Say your goodbyes now. Once you come in, you must see your father right away. Thyre told him of your fight. You killed sentries, Roane. He won't look kindly upon that."

Roane's jaw clenches. "My brother is an idiot. Father knows he will say and try anything to take the crown. He will never believe him. I will tell Father I wished to travel the bridges and lands I will soon inherit when he attacked me."

"Let us hope that is enough." His wide frame deflates with a sigh. He turns a kind smile to me. "I hope we will see each other again soon, hopefully under better circumstances."

Bowing slightly, he walks away and vanishes through the hole in the wall, the taps of his walking stick and hush of his dragging robes vanishing with him.

My hands shake. This is it. This is it, and I'm not ready. I walk to a hollowed out space underneath a staircase. I don't want anyone to see me this way. Everything feels out of my control and I hate it.

Roane comes up behind me.

"So I guess this is goodbye?" I ask, my focus fixed on the checkered pattern on the floor. I can't look at him. I'll break apart if I do.

Roane slips his hand onto my shoulder and turns my face to him. He tilts my face to his and runs his gaze along me as if wanting to memorize every inch of my features. 

I clutch his shirt and bring him closer, hoping it adds to his memories of how it feels to be needed, cared for. What it feels like to be safe. "Will your father hurt you?"

"It's not him I'm scared of," he says, his voice low and afflicted.

"The darkness?"

He shakes his head, this time grazing my cheek with the back of his knuckles. He follows the journey of his fingers with his eyes. His jaw tightens. "The thought of something happening to you terrifies me. Maybe my Uncle is right. I'll ask Addamack to send you back with one of his men."

"No, you won't," I say, closing the space between us. I put a hand at his cheek. "You told me not to listen to the whispers. You know more than anyone that darkness will hold on to your fear. Now it's you who has to ignore them. I'll be fine. We're in this together."

He closes his eyes and holds me close as if clutching to goodness and light and all that's good before darkness comes to take it all away.

Someone clears their throat and we break apart. Roane looks to Urlec over his shoulder.

"The brothers are starting to wake up," his uncle says. "If you're going to come in, you must do so now."

Roane looks into my eyes, desire and duty warring there, but focused on me, he takes one step back and then another. Reaching Ulrec, he spins to his uncle and walks into the dark hole without looking back.

❄❄❄

No hunger. 

No thirst. 

For two days I've sat in this same place, meditating on my better memories. It's the only way to keep the darkness at bay, to stay sane and not succumb to the whispers that tell me I will die here, without love and without a home. Replaying thoughts of Roane and I has become as easy as breathing, and while awake, I'm okay. But the fight against misery and fear is hard and it drains my strength.

When sleep conquers me, I'm defenseless. Nightmares plague me, horrible things of losing Roane, of never getting out of the Nether, of never seeing Aunt Sabana or Caleb. Visions of blood and of death pulse behind my eyes, one after another, and more times than not, I wake up in a fit of panic.

I walk to Addamack and sit beside him, finding comfort in his light. He doesn't deny me and gives me his cloak while I rest. The ruckus upstairs makes it impossible. The ground shakes with the vibrations of the trolls celebrating Roane's upcoming coronation. Their boisterous songs and cheers seep through the stone and into my ears. I envision Roane in their midst, accepting their praise, and my heart hurts. I want to take him away from all of it, but I can't. And so this time, I welcome the darkness of slumber because whether asleep or awake, everything is a nightmare.

❄❄❄

Thank you so much for reading! Please vote and comment if you enjoyed it!

PS- I know, I KNOW this story has been updated very slowly and I appreciate each and every one of you who has stuck by it. ❤