Dear diary,

I have some horrible news to tell you all. Lspqirjnf ran away from home. He thought he was grown up enough to go see the great big world. Haku said he flied away with the unicorns, but then again I have her a lot of booze last night, so it's possible she was still drunk. But I couldn't find him today. I hope he's happy, surrounded by many girl flip phones and having a good paying job. I released Haku the other day, she was kinda sad not living next to the wine cellar anymore, but she just keeps her stash upstairs like she used to before I kidnapped her. Then Teto invited us to a sleepover. I'm secretly excited (if you tell anyone I'll tell the Fangirls you kissed Len. and we all know that's a fate worse than death), nobody's invited me to a sleepover since "The Sleepover", but I have to play it cool. I think I'll bring my IPhone 5s, he hasn't had much love lately. I hope Haku doesn't get too drunk and do anything,you know the volcanic nosebleeds Teto gets.

-Neru