"Alexis, wake up. It's one in the evening", I whisper in her ears. She does nothing but pulls the covers over her head.

"Wakey, wakey, it's time to get up donkey", I sing a very high pitch directly into her ears.

"Can you stop it Bernice. I'm suffering from a hangover here, my head is throbing like anything", she says, sounding irritated and then after a second or two she realizes what I called her. "Wait, you just didn't call me that."

"That? What that?", I ask pretending to be innocent and brainless.

"Whatever, I know you won't let me sleep."

After getting fresh she comes to me, sits in front of me on the bed as I an surfing YouTube on my laptop. When will the free Internet of the college come to use.

"Hey, I remember something from last night. That Kendall guy and he blaming you. You said you'd tell us," Alexis reminds me as I stiffen up my back and sit straight by the support of the head board of the bed.

"Yeah", I say as I sigh. "You can call Jenny."

After a few minutes, Jenny comes to our room and sits beside Alexis.

"Hey guys, so why am I here?", Jenny asks looking between both of us.

"Bernice is going to explain us about yesterday night's incident", Alexis replies to her question.

"Which incident? Am I missing something?"

"You don't remember?"

"No. I was drunk. Maybe that's why. Can you tell me?"

"Alexis tell her, so that I can explain you about my past and get it over with." I tell her not looking at anybody but my hand.

Alexis tells fill her about yesterday night after which Jenny starts to ask the same questions that she asked yesterday night.

"Okay. I'm going to tell so, please just stop asking questions."

"Alright."

I breath in sharply and release it. All the memories are going in my head like a movie, not able to decide from where to start.

"C'mon, we are waiting," Jenny says impatiently.

"It's just--I'm not able to decide from where to start," I respond to that. I bring my knees close to my chest and rest my chin on top of them. My hands around my legs, looking at the empty space on the bed between all three of us.

"You can start from him talking about your fake appearance or something like that?" Alexis suggests me.

I sigh. My eyes closed when I speak, "I'm not the person you think I am."

"And what do you mean by that?" Jenny asks, a total confused look on her face.

"I lived in Macon, Georgia and studied in Blossom Bud High. I--," I pause and sigh then continue, "--I was not the nerd that you see now. Every high school has a girl who is a total bitch, which calls herself the queen of the school and beauty, which flirts with every popular or good looking guy and is a slut too. So,--"

I get interrupted by Jenny, "Let me guess, that was you!?"

I look up towards her and nod solemly.

"I thought that I was the only one. I had a very big ego and bad attitude, maybe I have now also, but back then it was on top of the world," I explain. My gaze drops down on the bed again.

"Who was that Kendall guy?" Alexis questions trying to look into my eyes.

"He was the best friend of the guy who I hurt.

"Hurt? Who? How?"

"As I told you, I thought that I was the only one. All boys at Blossom Bud drooled over me." I say. "It all happened in grade eleven. I somehow got to know that the nerd guy, the best friend of Kendall, liked me. So I planned on teaching him a lesson about liking a girl of a standard like me. Then I managed to break his heart. Afterwards he left the school and since then Kendall hates me and my guts," I shut my eyes trying to hold back the tears and then again open them to look at them both.

"And you know what, I got my punishment. Some one broke me and my heart too. Then I realized that I was such a big fucker. I've played many boys. But I did something extreme with that nerd. Afterwards when I realized all my mistakes, I went into depression. I blamed myself for everything," tears start to flow from my eyes.

"I tried to commit suicide, but was caught before doing it. My parents from the beginning of my life didn't give a shit about me. After my attempt to suicide, they tried to become the best parents. I told them everything and they supported me in gaining my confidence becoming normal. Then the rest of my High School life, I was homeschooled besides which, I was having sessions with my therapist to overcome my depression."

Alexis puts her hands on my shoulders while Jenny sits beside me and rubs my back, calming and comforting me.

"We can understand what might be feeling," Alexis says sympathetically.

"We're sorry to bring up such a horrible past of yours," Jenny apologizes. "But it's okay. We all have our equal shares of mistake. Some are minor while some are major."

"No, it's okay. Seriously, I think I feel a lot better. It feels good to talk about it after a long time," I assure them with a smile. "Thanks, guys. I thought you'll hate me after I tell you all about it. I had to change myself to forget about my past and try to be a good person."

"Well, then you've made a hella lot of change in you. Although you can't hide that natural beauty," Jenny says while nudging me from side with her elbow.

"We'll never leave you or judge you according to your past. We are friends because of your present. We'll be by your side," Alexis states making me feel so received that I jump in her to hug her.

"Hey, don't forget me," Jenny stands with hands in her hips and a fake angry pout.

"Come then." I open my one arm for her to join us.

                ---------------------------

After I told both of them about me, we talked about ourselves a lot, knowing them better and all those girlish gossips. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such good friends. They are better then the ones back in my High School. Well, I can't even tell they were my friends. They were just the slags who sticked to me for attention.

I take a long shower, then go to my closet to wear something which makes me feel comfortable. I was randomly searching for clothes when my hand feels on something hard. I take it out and keep it on my bed after which I quickly take out a pair of grey sweatpants and PJ top and changing into them.

I go to bed and pick up the box from where I placed it on the bed earlier and run my hands above it to feel it's wooden texture and carvings on top. It's a brown coloured wooden box which contains some memories from when I was in grade 5 and has a combination lock. It's combination is 5-9-1-0 because on 5th September, 2010 I started getting these letters from my secret admirer. As soon as I put the combination, a sound of click is heard and I open the box.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Alexis comes over to me, stands in front of me and asks.

"Nothing, just going through some adorable memories from childhood," I reply to her, still looking down at the open box and a smile lingering on my face.

"Who's letters are these?" Alexis asks while picking up one of the letters kept in the box. She opens it and reads it curiously, while I examine her expression.

She had taken the first letter that I got from my secret admirer. I know what she might be reading now because I had read each letter more than hundred times. It reads :

                             ***
Hey Honeybuns,

Just wanted to tell you, you're the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on.
                                          ~N
                            ***

"Well, let me rephrase it. Who gave you these letters?" she has that naughty smirk plastered on her face.

"Give it back to me," I stretch my hand to take it back from her but, Alexis, being Alexis, doesn't give.

"Na-uh, not so soon. I want answers, girl. Tell me who is thus lover boy ,"

"I don't know, give it back to me."

"I said tell me. It's not like I know him so you don't have to worry that I'll tell it to anybody or if anyone gets to know then it will affect them."

" You do have point but I seriously don't know who gave them to me."

"What!? What do you mean by 'you don't know'? I mean, you studied in same school, you should have known his name. At least asked him ones!"

"Only if I saw him."

"Still not following."

"He delivered them secretly in my locker when I was in grade 5."

"So you didn't get to know who he was."

"Yeah! Every week on Fridays I used to get one until.." I trail off in middle trying to remember when and why did the letters stopped coming.

"...until?" she gestures me to continue.

" I don't really remember when did they stopped coming."

"Why do think he must have stopped ?"

"Okay...so I have one more thing to tell you."

"Oh My God, Bernice, you are so full of history," she says bringing her eyebrows close and laughing at the same time.

"It was because these letters only that I realized how beautiful I was. It made me think that I meant something for someone because as I told you before, earlier my parents didn't care about me. So, I started putting effort to myself just to look more beautiful in front my secret admirer's eyes. I thought, then he would show up in front of me.

That never happened. Though I started to get attention from other boys. Many of them asked me out but I refused them all, still hoping he would come to me face-to-face to talk to me. So after waiting for, which seems like two years, I at last gave up and accepted the proposal from one of the boys."

"I see..," she says her one hand on her chin, seeming to think something. " He was the main reason why you became a bitch at first place. "

" Maybe. I kinda started to like all the attention from the boys and I got so high that I didn't know when I became the school's so called 'slut'. Maybe I stopped getting those letters when I started to get involved with boys a lot."

"There can be two reasons for him to stop writing letters to you," she announces.

"What..?" I ask her.

"First. Maybe he took you for granted. When he got to know that you are having boyfriends and mingling with boys a lot, he thought that you have become a total opposite of what you were before and cut it off with you," she explains. This reason makes me think of him as a different person, who might not be as sweet as he shows through his writings. I just hope the second one is better than this.

"Second?" I ask in a hope of a good reason.

"Second is..maybe he thought he lost a chance with you. Or made him think that you might be deserving better them him," she says. I don't know why, but I want to believe the second reason. It totaly suits the type of person he might be as far as I have idea through his letters. His letters had shown me his caring and loving nature and the second reason just suits the thought he might have.

"I would go with your second reason," I tell her.

"Mmmm...someone here doesn't want to hear bad about her lover boy, huh?" she teases me by nudging me.

"Shut your mouth!" I snap her trying to hide my blush.

At last she handed me the letter. I kept it back in the box and grinned widely, looking at it last time then keeping it back in the closet.

I got into my covers, glancing at Alexis to wish her goodnight just to find she had already slept. She drowns to sleep with speed of light. I laugh in my mind to that thought. I then switch off the lights and try to sleep, thinking about all the things that have happened to me till now until darkness engulfs me leaving in me my dreams.

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A/N: Hey guys, this chapter was all about her past. It's a very important chapter for you to read. I hope it wasn't much boring.

Please comment and vote...<3