Déjà vu - Post Malone ft. Justin Bieber (lyrics)

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He is walking out while talking with his friends. I tap at his shoulder, he turns around,"What the fu--," he stops in middle, his eyes widening.

Why do I have the feeling of déjà vu?

Whatever.

"Uh-Hi!," I great nervously. My adrenaline rushed inside me. 

How was I going to ask him about the letters. Now that I'm here, I don't feel confident anymore of him being the secret admirer.

"Hey, Honeybuns," he says with a smile. Oh God! That name again. From beside, his friends giving him 'ooh-who's-this-girl' and 'tell-us-everything-about-her-afterwards' look. All faces filled with curious smirks. Typical jerk heads, I think.

" Nathaniel, right?"

"The one and only."

"Could it be possible to talk to you in personal," I say, looking between him and his friends to make him understand what I wanted.

He gives a look to his friends. When they give a nod, he indicates me to lead the way.

As we are out of the cafeteria and walking towards God-knows-where I think whether I should talk to him about it or have I done a total mistake by deciding to meet him. Maybe, I should have brought Alexis with me. Or maybe, I shou-

 I was still in the middle of my thinking when a voice interrupted.

"I think so, we can talk here," obviously it was Mr.'crazy-go' Hot.

"Yeah-um," suddenly I'm out of words, what to say and what not.

"Yes?"

"I had a question."

"Well, and what is it, maybe I have answers?"

"I might sound crazy if you aren't the one who I think you might be," I look down at my blue converse nervously which I don't know are getting along with my outfit.

"I don't think so. Try me."

"Did you, by chance happen to have studied in Blossom Bud High?"

"I don't think that was a question which would make me think of you as a crazy person. And for the latter part, yes, I happen to have studied in that school."

A little of relief washes over me. At least till now I'm not wrong. I'm eighty-percent sure now that he's the secret admirer.

"Uh-um-do you also happen to recognize these?" I take out some letters from my pocket and hand him. He opens them and reads all of them. I dare not to to look above my converse at him.

"Certainly not," he says shaking his head. I feel disappointment, failure and a feeling of rejection, maybe? Maybe I should have thought that there were still twenty-percent chance of him not being the one.

"But they are interesting. Are these written for you? From your secret admirer?" he asks with a comforting smile, trying not to make me feel dumb in front of him. He then hands me back the letters.

"Y-yes," I take back those letters and stuffing them properly in my pocket.

"Well, they are no less than truth," I see him smiling at me, although I'm still facing the ground underneath me. And thank God I'm facing the ground 'cause I'm blushing like hell.

"Thanks."

"Now I have a few questions for you," he says ,"Do you happen to study at Blossom Bud High?"

Uh-Oh. Should I tell him that? What if he gets to know that I'm that same bitch, Bernice? But then again, I hadn't done any harm to him back then and it's really rare for him to get any idea that I'm the same Bernice because the two have totally different personalities.

On second thought, I should tell him. "Yeah."

"Then, Bernice, wh-" I cut him in between.

"How did you know my name?" I ask, my eyes widening in horror. He knows who I am?

My expression copying on his face, he looks behind me for a moment, then again at me and calming down,"Hey, I'm not a stalker, okay. I heard your friends calling you that."

"Oh," I reply with relief.

"I think we should get going now. Our friends must be waiting and also, I have a class by ten-thirty."

"Yeah, and also your girlfriend would bury me alive if she finds out that I, not only thought you were a wall earlier, but also asked for you to talk with me in personal," my mind fills with disgust even by thinking of her.

He chuckles. A very masculine one if I must mention. Then I'm brought back to senses by his voice," Who? Kelsa? She's not my girlfriend. She thinks so."

"Oh," I don't know what else to say, so I kept it monosyllabic. Also, that I had made a fool out of myself two times in a row in front of him. 

We reach back and hear a very loud voice as we enter the cafeteria," There you are."

"Sorry. That's my friend Jenny," I apologize.

"Where the hell were you?" asks Jenny.

"Until we meet then," Mr.'crazy-go' Hot waves and head towards left where his friends are standing. 

"Yes, I am here. And it isn't important for you to know where I was," I answer rolling my eyes

"It is, when I see my friend with a very handsome guy."

"Gawwd, you are so annoying," I walk past her and go to Alexis.

Alexis starts to say,"Wh-" 

"I'll tell you everything later," I say before she could complete.

"Okay."

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I love my dorm room than any other place. It makes me feel home.

I had told Alexis everything by now.

"I was feeling so emnarrassed back there," I admit.

"But you did right in a way. If you hadn't have gone and talked to him, you still would be in a dilemma of him being the admirer or not and waiting for him to give songs of his interest in you or whatever that romantic stuff is," Alexis states.

"I'm afraid you've got a point."

"What else do you expect from me," she says fliping her hair in athe dramatic way.

"But you know, I'm confused that how a person who gives a cold look with his eyes can be such a polite and comforting one?"

"That can remain a mystery to solve!"

And with it, again Miss. Nerdy and her friend drift of to sleep.

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Mr.'crazy-go' Hot's (Nathaniel)  POV

She tapped on my shoulder and I, not knowing who it would be, was about to swear. I really wanted to do it, though. But she looked so innocent, as if all her doings in the past were all some kind of accusations.

How much I had to control myself to not to kill her with my eyes. But she can't suffer so less, she had to face it all. All those things which are yet to come for her, which she had to face and die facing them.

How the fuck did she get the idea that it might be me who had written those letters for her?

Obviously you could have hidden it from her if you wouldn't have called her 'Honeybuns' at the first place. And those initials just gave her another clue.

Yes, those letters were written by me, but not really me and not really her.

Those letters were written for that Bernice who didn't took pride in her beauty, who didn't knew what she was capable of doing to the hearts of others just by her laugh and twinkling eyes.

Things change, people change. She also changed. How could she walk around in front of boys with the confidence given by me to her about her beauty? She became unexpectable, so I had to stop writing those letters. I thought she would wait for me, realize that I'm the only one who truely loves her. Rest were just dicks and perverts. But she didn't. She became flirtatious, bitchy and a manipulative slut. Who didn't love anybody but the faces, popularity and men's body.

Right now I'm reading the letter that once I had given her. When she gave me those letters to check, I slipped one of them into my pocket without her knowing. These letters were written by that boy who was truely and utterly in love with her and her innocence. Just to remember those times and my first love, I had to take it.

I had no idea she would preserve these letters. Why would she keep them with her?

And, Holy Fucking Shit! I nearly forgot that she didn't know that I know her name. How could I be so stupid? Thank God, I managed it somehow. Fuck! I would have totally messed up everything.

But the thing that confuses me the most is that why would she become a nerd while she should be more like a girl like Kelsa. Has she changed? It should not matter to me, not after her making me suffer. She'll have to pay for it. She'll yearn to not to live.

I'll make her life an earthly hell.

Although, still whenever I come across her, my heartbeat betrays me. To make her fall down, I'll have to control myself. I'll have to make future planes to take revenge from her.

"Hey, dude. What you doin'?" Trey, one of my friends, asks me.

"Nothing, just thinking how to get revenge from somebody," I say through gritted teeth.

"Somebody, as in, Bernice?" He knows about her. I had to tell him so that it would be easy to get help while getting revenge.

"Yeah."

"Well, these wicked plans can wait because we have an early class tommorow and you can't destroy your beauty sleep if you want to look irrestible in front of her which I think she already thinks of you."

Irresistible! I think I know now what I'm going to do.

"Thanks bro, thanks for the idea."

"Idea? I gave? When?"

I don't reply him and just keep the letter in safe place and go to sleep.

"Whatever, and your welcome."

Let's start the game, Bernice.

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A/N :- Hey guys, so you got the male mc's pov. What do you think about it? I want to know your review on it. And just know that I love you all. At last every reader matters a lot to every writer. Luv uhh muaahh...😘

Please comment and vote...<3