I see Thomas belly flop onto an invisible surface then Ambien sticks headfirst, as if she's landed in invisible Jello. Sasuke enters the unseen substance next, feet first, sinking in with his hair trailing behind him. It is comical. I am laughing as I hit. It feels like memory foam but gives like playdough, I land in a cannonball and sink in, leaving just my head out. Miguel lands beside me, sinking in up to his chest. I try to move my limbs but they're so heavy.

"Thanks." I say. I don't know if I could have jumped on my own and it was pretty fun.

"You're welcome. I have wanted to push you off a cliff for a while now. This is just as good." He says with a stupid evil grin on his stupid sexy face. I try to move to hit him, but it's no use. Suddenly we are released and falling again. It is at most ten feet, so I just bruise my tail bone when my butt hits the ground.

I scarf down my lunch, knowing Janine will be here to ruin it soon.

"I can help you log into the school program today, if you want." Sasuke offers from beside me. I attempt to quickly swallow my food so I will not embarrass myself when I respond.

"That would be great. Thank you. Better sooner, rather than later. You probably won't be here much longer, considering how well you did today." I respond, turning slightly to face him.

"Thanks. I didn't do that great. I tripped on the tires." He chuckles at his own expense, running his hand through his beautiful long black hair.

"Don't be modest. Didn't you see Janine smiling at you like a proud mom." I insist.

"I didn't do great." Thomas grumbles. "I messed up. Why did I do that? Now it'll be even longer until I get out of here." He's staring at his tray sadly, obviously thinking about Kali.

"You did great, especially considering." I console. He just grunts, finding the will to put a fork full of food into his mouth.

"You didn't embarrass yourself much for only having been here for a few days, Sara. How did you hack the monkey bars? I have done this course, at least similar ones, a few times. I have never seen anyone do that." Miguel asks. I think this is the nicest thing he has said to me.

"I don't know. Got lucky, I guess. Maybe Janine was off with her magic today. Like the wall I am pretty sure you were not supposed to be able to break it. She was so mad." I laugh, remembering the way her nostrils flared. Scary but funny.

"My magic is as strong as ever." Janine assures, coming out of nowhere.

I sink into my seat fearful of her retribution.

"We are writing letters today. You will write a letter to a loved one. Either a friend or a family member. You can write whatever you would like, just know you'll be reading it to the group, so keep that in mind." A letter to our families. That reminds me. I have not spoken to my dad since he dropped me off. Has he tried to call? I should have called him.

She hands out pieces of paper and places the tub of crayons in the center of the table. She shoots us with bolts, but we cannot have pencils. Ridiculous. That reminds me Miguel has my art supplies still. I should get it back from him. I glare at him. He catches me and gives me a confused look. Is he going to pretend like he doesn't have it? I want my art book back. He smiles at me mockingly. Jerk.

I try to write a letter to my dad but all I can say is 'I'm sorry'. Not a great letter. I flip the page over.

Dear Mom,

I love you. I'm sorry I hurt you. You hurt me first. I am not a monster or a demon. I know it is not your fault. You have a mental illness. It is not my fault either, that I am a half angel. I am your daughter, I just needed you. Needed you to be there at my dance recital, to comfort me when I was scared or hurt. To not look at me like that. Like I am a monster. If you knew I'm an angel, not a monster, would you love me then?

I scribble my words out.

Thank you for trying. Thank you for cleaning my scrapes, even if you wouldn't kiss my booboos, thank you for teaching me to tie my shoes and brush my hair, even if it were only so you wouldn't have to touch me anymore. I miss you. I miss your voice and the songs you would sing quietly, as you cleaned the house. I miss your smile when dad would kiss you atop your head. I miss the cakes you would bake to try and make yourself happy. I am going to try too. Like you. I thought you were weak, but now I see just how strong you were. I hope one day we can talk and truly be mother and daughter. I love you.

Silent tears pool on my paper. I wipe my eyes and attempt to dry my paper with my shirt. A box of tissues is scooted into my vision. I look up to find Miguel's perfectly almond shaped eyes on me. The pity I see in those eyes makes me feel even more pitiful. I cannot read this aloud. I flip the paper back over to reattempt a letter to my dad.

Dear Dad,

I did not want to hurt you, but I knew I would. I had no good choices. I decided to rip the band-aid off and get the pain over with all at once, like you taught me. I just want you to know, you do not have to worry about me anymore. I can take care of myself. I am strong now and soon I will be in complete control, so don't worry.

I cannot tell him that I have powers he will think I have gone off the deep end. Re-reading my words I sound a little manic or delusional. I just do not know what to say to him. I have always struggled to communicate with him, afraid of saying the wrong thing, of pushing away the only person who loves me. What do I say?

I love you.

Love,

Sara

I look up and everyone seems to be done already, but no one is in a hurry to get started.

"Is everyone finished?" Janine asks, noticing me looking around probably. I nod hesitantly. "Who would like to volunteer to go first?" Janine asks. No one volunteers. Of all the tortures Janine has devised, this is by far, the worst.

"I will." Ambien chimes, rising to her feet, facing the group as if she will recite a poem.

"Dear, Piper

I hope you are well, wherever you are. I am still here in this place. I wish I could go to wherever you have gone. I miss making up games and stories with you to pass the time. I miss your smile and the way you laughed and danced whenever the mood struck you. I have a new friend. She is nothing like you, but she is very kind and I know you would have liked her. I think I will come see you soon. I count the days until I will embrace you again.

Your dearest,

Ambien" She finishes, taking her seat. Who is Piper? It isn't...

"Thank you, Ambien. Who..."

"Wait." Ambien stands suddenly. "P.S. I am sorry I killed you." She says, with a large cat ate the canary, grin.

"Who is going next?" Janine finishes her sentence.

"I will." Thomas volunteers. "I was going to write to Kali but..." He begins. Poor guy. "I decided I would write to my dad.

Dad,

How's my truck? I don't know if mom has told you, but I met a girl. I wanna tell you about her but we don't really talk about stuff like that. A quick greeting and a little shop talk. That is as deep as we go. I want to ask her to marry me. I want to ask you how you felt proposing to mom. How you knew she was the one, but I don't know how. I don't even know how to tell you, I miss you. We say we love each other but even that is grunted awkwardly. I do not want the first time I express how much you mean to me to be at your funeral. How is Buddy? I miss that old fart-bag. I miss you.

Thomas." He finishes, his eyes a little watery.

"Thank you, Thomas." She gives him a smile, edging on caring. Was her façade beginning to crack?

"Alright, Sara, you're next." Still evil.

I blank, staring at her dumbly.

"I don't mind going next." Sasuke interjects, coming to my rescue again.

"Dear Mom,

Thank you. Thank you for being my number one supporter and biggest cheerleader. Thank you for always encouraging and guiding me. I appreciate you. Even when you are being overbearing or downright embarrassing. I hope I can continue to make you proud. I love and miss you. Tell dad I love him and to not touch my skateboard. I will still call you tonight, don't worry." He says the last part like a punch line. I chuckle at his lighthearted, if not cheesy, letter. His good attitude is contagious.

"I will go." Miguel volunteers before Janine has an opportunity to say anything. We make eye contact and I look away quickly. Miguel seems to have the opposite effect as Sasuke on me.

"Anita,

I hope you are well. I know you say you are when we talk, but I also know how strong you are. You would lie to me, so I won't worry, but I worry anyway. That is what big brothers do. I should be there to protect you. To fend off asshole boyfriends and make fun of you. I love you, Juanita." Miguel finishes, with a sad smile on his face.

"Thank you, Miguel. Sara." Janine prompts.

I clear my throat, discomfort increasing with each erratic heartbeat.

"Dear Dad." I read quickly each word threatening to get caught in my throat.

"Thank you, Sara." Janine says. "Alright, that concludes group. Everybody out on the field for sparring." She announces. We file out, leaving her collecting papers and picking up crayons. Was she softening? She isn't even going to assault one of us?

I thoughtlessly accompany Sasuke from the recreation area toward the hall that leads out of the building and to the field.

I cry out in agony as a spike shoots up out of the tiled floor, impaling my foot. 

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Thank you for reading(: