Satyendra's POV:

Rains....
First 🌧️ rain.... Brings so many memories alive...so many moments...
And although it's beautiful...at times the thundering it brings scares your tiny little heart which has been trying to not recall those memories....
My heart also wants to forget a few of those...or atleast not recall those...
But this rainy season...
Every year starts bringing so many memories...
It all started with those rains after all...
The smell of wet mud ...it's fragrance bringing in so many other fragrances again alive...
Why the hell am I not able to forget those days... We were kids then...
I am a middle aged man now...and SHE  is only my responsibility. Nothing else!!!
But then why am I not able to remember this and I end up getting drawn towards her...
Today again...
When she was standing in the balcony enjoying the rain...
Why did I want to go and hug her warm...

I so wanted to do so much to her...
Her flying hair...her flying dupatta...so many emotions within me all of a sudden ignited and I couldn't help but keep looking at her...

Nothing changed Shravani....
Yet so much changed...

First time I saw her drenching wet in the rain was when she was 16...

Flashback begins...

College had begun...
I was in my first year of graduation...I was 20 although because of Mumma's death I lost a year. I wasn't in the right state of mind. I was the closest to her. She fought a cruel terminal illness called cancer like a warrior. But then we don't have everything in our hands. I tried staying strong for my father and my sisters. My sisters went to school but I couldn't concentrate on my studies. The reason why we shifted from Chennai to Coonoor. It was a fresh start for us. Although my sisters were in tears and hellbent to not leave our Chennai home I and dad convinced them. And finally we are here in Coonoor.

It's been a whole 3 months now. Summer vacations had got over and it was time for my sisters to join pre-university to do their 11th and 12th std. I made sure they joined the same college where I am doing my graduation. Ofcourse we had different buildings and pre-university students were denied entry to the graduation college and graduation students were also not allowed to the pre-university college until and unless it's a college function or they are here to visit the faculty for a reason but we had a common cafeteria, common auditorium and common basketball court.
And anyways I had enough contacts to know if my sister's were safe and not being ragged. I was against ragging always and stood up against it. I have even thrashed people for doing it. Yeah!!! I wasn't into the good boys in the college. I was the bad boy!!!
And somehow I was cool with it!!!
I was in first year of graduation but I was friends with my seniors. Infact I had many girls who were head over heels for me from the final year. Which department....almost all departments!!!
They find me hot!!! Their words not mine!!!
But I wasn't seriously involved with anyone. Dad had gifted me a new nokia mobile phone which was an add on. I would get sms from many girls in the college but craziest of all was my classmate Kanishka. She was so crazy about me that she would call me regularly, cook for me like she was my wife or something and keep looking at me. At times she creeped me out but then entire college found her to be the sexiest girl and that one was crazy about me. My friends envied me but I didn't care much. I have seen hotter girls than Kanishka. Women didn't really attract me much however only one caught my attention till now.

The girl in my neighborhood. Nope!!! It's not called I like her. But she has something in her that pulls me towards her. She hell ignores me... and no one ignores Satyendra Sharma!!!
She has big doe like eyes. Her wavy hair when flies in air gives me tingles within. This entire summer season we have played cards and shuttle...not once she spoke to me face to face but my sisters and our friends have seen me looking at her and they have started teasing me with her. She gets hell angry when they tease us together. Her small nose turns cherry red and I see her ears going red too. She shoots me in eye everytime they tease us both together but I hell cannot take my eyes off her.

Why???

I don't know!!! But those eyes are too beautiful to not look into...

Now even my college bestie Vikku (Vikram) who happens to stay in the nearby apartment also knows that I stare at her. Vikku asked me straightforward....
'Bro do you like her?

And I looked at him saying...

'Eyyyy...Nee loose aaa...vai mutu... Nayi (Hey have you gone mad... shutup...you dog)'
And I abruptly shut him up. She was friends with my sisters and was going to join the same college where my sister Rishika was going to join. However looks like she aspires to be a doctor so she had chosen PCMB. And Rishika had chosen commerce as she aspires of doing business management. Rishika wanted to join the college Rithi and Shonali were studying in but I was always overprotective about Rishika because she was my little one and also the naive one. Rithika was smart. She could handle everything but Rishi was more a baby so she joined my college. Much to my surprise Shravani also joined my college.

As we have a open cafeteria we could see students going to the pre-university. Today was the first day of college and today there was ample amount of crowd to gaze at girls... basically attempt to 'try to show off' infront of these girls and find a girl friend for themselves but at times guys would cross their limits and that's when I smash faces. Yes I have even smashed my seniors who tried to misbehave or eve tease girls.

Looking at them is different from teasing, disrespecting them. That's something I could never tolerate. And I also belonged to the anti ragging squad in our college. I knew how to handle such guys. My senior Selvam Anna was always there for me. Selvam Anna the head of ragging committee in our college and was in his final year now. He always told me that I have the capability to take over him. He was the boxing champion of our college and I was the basketball team captain. I never raised hand on anyone but that doesn't mean I cannot!!! I need not!!! I was 6 ft tall...my gaze and my warnings did their job always.

Today was the first day of our college. I wished Rishi all the best for her new beginning. While I was sitting in the cafeteria my eyes fell on her ...
Under a blue umbrella...in a white salwar SHE was going to the college. Suddenly my friends and Selvam Anna came from nowhere and sat next to me. My friends started singing loudly...

'Aayiye Aapka intezaar tha....
Aayiye Aapka intezaar tha....'

Fuck!!! And not once did she look this way...but then suddenly one shot... she looked into my eyes. Here Kanishka was feeding me upma and I felt like upma was stuck in my throat.

Her burning gaze.... and I was gone.
My friends saw it and hooted a
'Ooooooooooooohhhhh'

She looked angry. My friends are crazy!!!
She ignores me and now she will hate me!!! Damn!!!

She left to the college...and here I was sitting the entire day and thinking what if she was angry.
In lunch break Vikku kept teasing me. But then Selvam Anna looked at me and circled his arm around my shoulder and asked...
'Sattu...do you like her?'

'No Anna...she is just my neighbour...we played together in last summer. She is my sister's friend. She doesn't even talk to me.'

And Selvam Anna smiled asking 'So that's a complaint is it?' and I looked at Anna and made a face while he chuckled...

'Sattu ..no da...I'm not teasing you ..but I know you da... that gaze you give her...has fire in it...that is the gaze I have when I look at Tamizhini my girlfriend...but that's because I love her... what's it with you?' He asked and I looked at Anna with my widened eyes and explained quickly...

'Anna swear there is nothing...no love dove nothing...it's jus'

'Sattu... relax...I am not saying you love her...all I'm saying is...you go in a trance when you look at her...you blush my boy... and that's not normal for my otherwise Remo mode on but now Anniyan mode on Sattu' he said and I looked at Selvam Anna rolling my eyes.

He chuckled saying ...'You don't behave yourself when she is around Sattu... girls look dreamily at Sattu but today it was vice versa... Kanishka kept calling you but you were hopelessly staring at HER!!! Well...upto you to figure it out' saying he left from there...

While I heard her giggle and had a mad urge of looking at her but after what Selvam Anna said I decided to keep my calm and not stare at her like that... She was in the cafeteria. I could see a couple of boys staring at her...one of them began scanning her and commenting about her curves and I had my blood boiling already.

I didn't want to create a scene. So I simply pulled my chair and went and sat infront of those boys passing them a death glare!!!

They understood and silently walked out.  While I heard her friends singing...

'Aayiye Aapka intezaar tha...
Aayiye Aapka intezaar tha...'

And they started giggling and laughing loudly while she stomped her feet fought with her friends and left the cafeteria not before passing me a death glare. I although didn't look at her I could feel her eyes on me and I don't know why I had a smile curve on my lips...

Fuck this was getting crazy!!! Here my friends started teasing me...

Same evening, I was in my balcony listening to music in my walkman and my eyes just like that went to the nearby terrace and my heart stopped for a brief moment...

She ...in a white salwar and a blue baandhni dupatta half drenched was enjoying the rains...

I tried looking away but my eyes disobeyed!!!
Her white salwar sticking to her body...her baandhni dupatta was trying to fly against its own will due to the winds...
Her beautiful long earrings kissing her wet cheeks.... landing on her sleek neck...
She was never a bangles person...but today she had worn them too... and her anklets ...they matched up to the sounds of raindrops...
She twirled and smiled to herself...
Although she was highly attractive but I somehow only saw purity that minute...
I somehow couldn't look at her like the girls who threw themselves at me.

I was a popular chap in the college. I had girls pouring at me everyday. Call it my charms or my looks...but women were always head over heels...

She was jumping and dancing happily in the rain and here I was loosing my self control.

I helplessly kept looking at her. But the minute she saw me my heart skipped multiple beats. She looked all flushed. She was beautiful. My throat dried up and I swallowed my saliva to comfort my throat but nothing actually helped.

She quickly ran from there...

In college it had become a norm. Everyone would tease me with her including Selvam Anna. She was called Sattu's Vani in college and although I made a grumpy face but secretly that also brought a smile on my lips.

There was musical day in our college and the worst to the best of singers try their singing talent like they are the next playback singers replacing ARR, SPB in tamil industry but in reality were worse than crows.

As we are allowed to attend the college events being the fact that we had a common auditorium my friends wanted to attend the musical day. I wasn't interested but when I heard that she was going to sing I couldn't control myself...

I made it a point to take a seat in the last row with my friends however straight infront of her.

When she stepped on the stage my friends started hooting and I could see she was getting nervous. I just passed my friends a look and they shutup. She adjusted the mic and began...

Kannalanae enathu kannai naetrodu kaanavillai...
en kangalai parithukkondum aeninnum pesavillai...
aalana oru seithi ariyamale alaipaayum siru pedhai naano...
un paerum en paerum theriyamale ullangal idam maarum aeno...
vaai pesave vazhi illaye vali theera vazhi ennavo...

(My dear, my eyes have been missing since yesterday
why did you steal them and then not even talk to me yet
but even though i dont know of anything you've done, i feel like waves are crashing in me
i don't know your name, you don't know mine, how come inside places are switching?
there's no way for my mouth to speak what is the way to end this pain??)

And I was gone...
Long gone....
She kept singing closing her eyes and here I was.... unable to take my eyes off her...

My heart dancing to every single line she sang melodiously...I knew our tamil songs had the power to engulf even the most cruel heart into a soft one...but it's only today when I felt the power...

Standing there on the stage wearing a pink salwar... hair tied into a pony...a few strands of hair flying on her angelic face...those little shiny jhumkas dancing at her every line... that peace on her face...I was lost in her completely...
Not once could I take my eyes off her. My friends kept teasing me... their comments fell on my ears never entered my brain...
I was totally mesmerized by her voice...she was melodiously enchanting...I was been pulled towards her. I was so very much been driven towards her suddenly that I didn't want anyone else to hear her ..see her...I wanted to hide her from everyone...

In....in my arms!!!

That's when she opened her eyes. Her one gaze hit me deep in my eyes. Straight to my heart like a dagger my heart desperately wanted to bleed with...a sweet pain...I wanted it to bleed more with this pain... her eyes widened when she realised our eyes were locked... and hell I didn't want to look elsewhere... slowly I noticed her big eyelashes kissing her under eyes and I realise she closed her eyes again and slowly averted her gaze... Claps and whistles in the auditorium brought me back to this world when I realised she had finished singing... And she left the stage...

I couldn't understand what had happened to me such that I zoned out...it was magical... unbelievable... and something I never experienced till date. I was blown away...

Flashback ends...

The sudden wave of memories with one unexpected rain in the month of december had brought so many memories alive. Something that I had kept hidden deep in my heart...some I relished but many others I never wanted to revisit.

I closed my eyes and slipped into a deep slumber. I was woken up by some familiar voices...I stepped out to see some elder men from the village sitting in a conversation with Shravani in our living area. Looking at me they greeted me... while Shravani said...
'Satyendra...I'm sorry...were we too loud? I'm sorry if our talks disturbed you' and I nodded a no. She gave me a cup of tea. I told her I haven't freshened up. She said 'Its ok...you can have a cup of tea from my hands one day without brushing'. Those eyes ... the same gaze I dreamt of last night recalling a 17 year old Shravani in college singing in the college auditorium looking straight into my eyes. I gulped and nodded.

Picking the cup of tea I took a seat next to her on the sofa.

While Govindarajan uncle kept asking us on how is life after marriage. We just mumble a few generic 'all good'. Just then we reached the actual conversation...

'Vani we don't have enough space for expanding the hospital ma... and we dont have many doctors too' he said while Shravani said...

'Uncle...It's not because we don't have doctors... it's because we don't want to hire them...my father was one of the founders of this hospital...I have worked in its Chennai branch...it is one of the finest in Tamilnadu...I don't understand why alone are we cribbing here about it... uncle we have a fine bunch of talent it's just that we need to give them a decent environment to have a multi speciality hospital. It's the reason why I am requesting you...I want to buy your land so we can expand the hospital. It's not even fertile. It's a barren land why do you want to keep it?' she asked politely...

'Look Shravani...selling it or not is my choice...you can't force me...you are Sumeet Anna's daughter is the only reason I'm here...you can't force me...and I don't understand why this love for Coonoor people now...you lived a lavish life in Chennai all these years... didn't people deliver babies here? Didn't people fight cancer here...now suddenly you want to expand the gynaecology unit, children's unit and also want to have a cancer unit in the hospital? Do you have an idea for the investment involved here? And don't forget although your father was one of the founders in the hospital you will still need the board to decide if they want to invest so much into this...it would cost crores'

To which she stood up at once saying...'Uncle we don't have a good cancer hospital here...we have our ladies travel to different cities if there are major complications in deliveries...I don't understand why...we have doctors here...we are rich in knowledge but why we don't have enough facilities is all my question is ...why should our women struggle... and cancer is something that can happen to anyone.... and poor people because they can't afford staying in a different city for months don't get the right treatment and dont even fight this disease uncle... we have to do something for our people' she said and I looked at her. She was a kind heart. So much for a fierce tongue she still had a caring heart.

'I don't know why do you need my land only... did you forget your husband also owns a home there' Govindarajan uncle argued.

Shravani's POV:

I don't understand why was uncle so stubborn. He has been the selfish kind always. I expected him to understand now atleast. But no looks like he is still the greedy man I knew years ago...

But I still tried. He attempted to provoke me by saying to occupy Sattu's farm land which was a green belt... I argued...

'I do uncle ..but yours is a barren land and I will pay a good price as per market standards and that home which you said I can ask for isn't a barren land...it's Satyendra's ancestral home. His mother's last memory for him. It also has the farm attached where a 100 other farmers work...it's a green land uncle...'

But Govindarajan uncle was hell-bent.
Just then I heard Satyendra saying...

'I am good to give away my land Shravani' and my head snapped in his direction.

I didn't want him to do this. This was wrong.

'But Satyendra' I tried to argue

But he simply stood up and folded his hands and went to his room. Govindarajan uncle and his friends left. I was pissed off with Satyendra now.

I closed the main door and went to Satyendra's room while he was placing an order for new fertilizers and seeds. I was waiting for him to finish his call while I noticed he was wearing his watch. I understood he was getting ready to leave. He finished his call and was about to leave...

I told him...'I need to talk to you'

Folding his sleeves he said...
'If it's about the land...you need not worry...it will be done ASAP' saying he was about to leave while I caught his wrist.

He stopped on his tracks. I slowly walked past him and stood straight in front of him. Looking into his eyes I asked him...

'Why are you doing this Satyendra...this is wrong...it's a green land...100 farmers work there... above all its your mother's only gift for you'

He looked at my face and said...
'Govindarajan won't give his land to you...he is planning to sell it to a famous builder who is planning to make a mall there...he will make much more money there Shravani... and at times it's money over humanity for people... He won't sell it to you... and about the farmers don't worry...I will make them work on the Neelakurinji plantations...and farmers will understand Shravani because I am the Sarpanch here... and also it's for their own children and wives...it's their families who will benefit from this hospital Shravani. So just don't argue...I will ask my lawyer to make the papers ready by next week' saying he was about to leave...

While I stopped him...
'But it's your mother's last gift for you Satyendra... that's your childhood home'

While he turned around and looked into my eyes saying 'My mother fought this deadly disease called Leukemia Shravani...I know what is cancer and how much it kills our families...it's not just the person alone...it's also the family who suffers...I don't want any child to loose his mother like I lost mine Shravani...if that land becomes cancer treatment unit...I'm sure it would give immense peace to my mother's soul... and when new babies are born on that land and hugged warm by their mothers I will feel I met my mother again...at times practicality in life is beyond emotions Shravani...' he said it all with so much innocence. My heart leaped at his words. How can someone be so good is all I could think.

While he kept looking into my eyes and I kept admiring his...
I felt him push a strand of my stray hair behind my ears and my lips parted...

'Iam going to the hills... Neelakurinji has blossomed this year... and you know it's a rare... I maybe a little late...I know it's a Sunday and you will be home...but please have your lunch on time' he said in a whisper almost.

His hot breath fanned my face and like I was enchanted my his gaze I nodded silently.

He turned around and was about to leave while it suddenly striked me and I ran behind him to the main door...

'Satyendra...' I called him and he turned around...

'It has been 12 years that I have seen a Neelakurinji blossom...can I....can I come to the hill with you?' I asked hopefully...

And like he was in a daze he looked at my face...I could see it in his eyes...he was recalling the last time we saw a Neelakurinji together...yes ...12 years back...I and Satyendra saw these beautiful fragrant flowers together for the first time in our life...

His eyes didn't leave mine and a small smile curved on his lips. And I don't know why I felt my cheeks heat up. He nodded. I had a bright smile on my face.

We were going to the Neela hill together after 12 big years.