Satyendra's POV:

'Lakeville - Late Mr Varun Suri's home...' I asked and the lady looked at me in a confused manner.

'I am Shravani's husband....now!!!' I said and the old lady looked shocked. I was expecting a wierd reaction from her as the situation was wierd.

I was here to see my wife at her late husband's weekend home after all... but to my surprise her eyes teared up and she smiled saying...
'Shravani has been coming here every year alone and ends up having a panic attack on this day every year...I'm glad god saw her pain and sent you for her...come son... come' and I started walking behind her.

'I am Suzanne D'Silva... Shravani and Varun's neighbour. My and husband Peter's children stay in London...Shravani and Varun were more like our babies...they stayed here for rent until Varun was serving as a rector in the nearby hospital but he and Shravani both got a better offer from their ex-college and hospital in Chennai...I thought they were gone but later Varun managed to buy LakeVille the most beautiful bungalow in our area but looks like it wasn't lucky for them. The day he surprised Shravu with it...he met with that dreadful accident and we lost him...since then every year Shravani comes here...Anita and Rohit who are their friends keep asking me to keep an eye on her every time she comes here. It's the anniversary reaction son ..she cannot help it. However I thought after marriage this would stop...but looks like Shravani's bond with Varun in unbreakable...' the lady said and I felt someone clenching and squeezing my heart with their raw hands.

It's not like I couldn't understand Shravani's pain but the feeling that Shravani still feels for Varun even after his death made me feel how lucky Varun was and what a looser I am...

The lady showed me the house and I took slow steps inside it...
I could see a big photograph of Shravani and Varun hanging in the living room and Shravani had sat on the floor glaring and probably crying over her fate...
My heart tore into pieces and bled seeing her telling me loud and clear...
She is still not over him!!!

I had lost her then once ...
And I lost her again today...
Probably I am destined to keep loosing her inspite of she being with me...
Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought that we shared a bed and I worshipped her body but our hearts were still distant...

Varun...
Even after have gone...was still very much there in between us...

Flashback begins...

An year had gone and Shravani didn't return to Coonoor. Everything else was normal. Our fathers started working with each other. Her father owned the Shine Valley which had the lush Neelakurinjis blossoming and my father's Pearl Valley involved exquisite flowers because we also ran a business for making exquisite perfumes. But Neelakurinji was a rare. It blossomed once in 12 years. So my father had done business with Mr Khanna asking him for the rare Neelakurinji supply while they both joined hands in plans to launch our rarest brand 'Pearl-Shine Perfumes' the rare and exclusive range involving the Neelakurinji flowers.

I finished college and joined dad's business. I started taking over traveling in case of business meetings so dad could concentrate on his health. We had to meet one of the exporter's in Chennai so I went along with Mr Khanna to Chennai. Post my meeting Mr Khanna asked me if we could start to Coonoor post lunch break. I was ok with it so he instructed driver saying 'the usual' and the car stopped inside the surroundings of a hospital. I wondered why were we in the hospital and my thought process was broken when I heard Sumit uncle say ..

'We have reached... where are you?' and next minute my eyes widen and well up as I see Shravani walking towards the car. My throat fills up and I'm unable to express what I feel right now. She looked breathtakingly beautiful. She had put on some weight, her long hair was now cut short and stopped at her shoulders now, she learnt to do make up now, her dressing went from Salwar kameez to Jeans and tshirt but she looked like a doll. Everything changed but her fragrance remained the same as I inhaled her in the feeling to hug her and pull her in my arms...the need to be close to her began overpowering me. But she blatantly ignored me. She walked past me and I was broken!!!

It was like I did not even exist there!!!
It felt like someone pierced a sphere into my chest but I consoled myself saying...
'You deserve it Sattu!!! You hurt her'. Her father kept speaking to her and finally told her...
'Shravu did you meet Sattu???' and I saw her body stiffening. I mumbled a hello to her infront of her father while all she did was nod. She didn't even spare me a glance.

Then I heard her say...
'Dad I want you to meet Varun... remember I told you about him? He's my best friend' and my ears caught that!!!

But then I didn't take it too seriously as I know Shravani is a friendly girl. But suddenly all her demeanor looked different to me. She was the shy one, never so outgoing types but now she was this outspoken bold one.

So much of a change in an year???
Sumit uncle wished her a good bye and she left from there without even looking at me. It hurt!!! But I deserved it.
I somehow knew I had to give her time.
Maybe talk to her.

Coming back to Coonoor I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wanted to talk to her. I could dial on her phone and ready her out but I wanted to personally meet her and sort things out.

Finally after three months to that incident I gathered guts to go to her college to meet her. Reason??? I was invited as a chief guest to their annual day function as I was one of Tamilnadu's youngest businessman who still operated from a small town like Coonoor when every big whale chose to stay in Chennai the big city.

Shravani was going to be awarded for being the topper for her semester and my chest heaved up in pride when they announced her name but my heart broke into pieces as I saw Shravani in another man's embrace. He was fair 6 ft tall, lean and held onto Shravani's waist and she kissed his cheek leaving my eyes go red in rage. I could have walked past everyone and punched him hard but I controlled my anger. She came up the dias and took the award from me mumbling a thankyou without even looking at my face. It killed me time and again to see her eyes twinkling as she saw that guy who was cheering for her from the crowd. Without soaring me a glance she left the dias silently.

I didn't want to sit through the annual day function. I had better work to do, I had to head back to Coonoor but her proximity with that man held me up on the chair and I sat through the entire function as I could see her sitting with him and enjoying the function. Time and again I saw her eyes on me but not once did she care. She sat there sticking to that man and I was burning into ashes here.

I wanted to question her but she and the man left before I could stop her. I couldn't create a scene there. Diwali was coming and this year Shonali told us that Shravani would be coming to celebrate Diwali with us because her 'friends' wanted to see Neelakurinji blossom!!!

Like seriously??? She was coming here because her friends wanted to see Neelakurinji blossoming and not for any other reason??? She doesn't want to see us ..she didn't want to meet me???

That thought itself was disturbing me and I lost my shit when I saw a bunch of girls and boys along with her entering our apartment premises and my blood boiled high as I saw that man with her!!!
Who was he to her???
She brought him here???

I was going crazy!!! I wanted to talk to her. I was waiting for an opportunity to talk to her after spending the entire afternoon going crazy thinking about him and her.

In the evening I saw her on the terrace wearing the same white salwar kameez which made her look serene as always. I thought it's the right time and decided to go and talk to her.
But when I saw that man with her on the terrace, giggling and smiling I wanted to walk right up there and throw him down from the terrace.

She looked happy with him and I couldn't take it. I must talk to her.

That night I heard dad saying 'Shravani and her friends are going to Neela hill tomorrow to see the Neelakurinjis...' it was more like dad was trying to gauge my reaction but I kept it to myself.

But I was restless. I couldn't sleep that night. While still thinking about it I felt a hand on my shoulder as I was standing silently in my bedroom balcony...

'Son...if you like someone...you tell them...you don't let ego creep in...but remember if there is no reciprocation of emotions you step back like a gentleman too... that's the golden rule' and I look at my father's face.

All these years he teased me with Shravani, he would taunt me about she being his future daughter in law but now all of a sudden he says I step back if she doesn't reciprocate...why won't she reciprocate!!! She loves me!!! And I know it she does!!! She's just angry with me!!! I need to talk...and this guy... she is just playing the same game with me... she's trying to make me have my own medicine of Jealousy!!!

But I am not jealous!!!
I don't need to be!!!
I knew she is mine!!!
I trust her!!!

After thinking a lot I decided I must confront her and what better than the Neela hill.

I knew Shravani would be going with her friends there in the evening, so I would probably spare some time, rob her away from them and talk to her...heart to heart...I say...she would listen...then she would say and I would listen more...

I had a smile thinking I would be one of those lucky men who could propose to his girl with the rarest of the flowers in the world... Neelakurinji!
I went to the Neela hill and personally plucked a bunch of them and put them together as a bouquet and smiled.

I walked towards the place where she had gone with her gang. Her friends were clicking pictures of the flowers and posing with them but she was missing and so was the guy. It had begun drizzling slightly and I had to reach the apartment by the evening as today as it was Diwali night and I couldn't participate in decorations nor preparations this year due to me joining dad's business and the 'Pearl-Shine Perfumes' Launch happening next week.
The least I could do was reach for the Pooja on time.

So I began looking for Shravani as I didn't find her I walked towards the top of the hill and the sight that I saw froze me to death.

Shravani was kissing that guy senselessly and I felt like someone put their raw hands into my throat reaching my chest and pulled out my heart and squeezed it out to ooze every ounce of blood from it.

He squeezed her waist and her hands roamed on his back and she tilted her neck to give him more access to that kiss they were sharing. My eyes burnt like coal and tears fell from my eyes...
I felt like someone pulled out all the oxygen from my lungs and left me breathless...I couldn't see that scene and I felt my stomach churning. I ran and puked all that I ate and began coughing. I couldn't handle it. Couldn't see it. But my traitor eyes turned back to see her still stuffing her mouth into someone else's mouth.

I couldn't stand there...I was not understanding anything...All I knew was I wanted to run away from there...I didn't want to see that...So I ran from there like a mad man...but they were on the top of the hill and I could still see them kissing. I kept running towards my Jeep, started my Jeep and started driving carelessly downhill but my traitor eyes looked up the hill and I could still see their figure embracing, kissing, hugging each other.

No!!! This is a silly dream!!!
This can't be true!!!
She can't do this!!!
I kept driving till the figure faded away and I reached my apartment.
My chest felt heavy. I was feeling uneasy.

Flashback ends...

'Why me always Varun??? Why did this happen??? Why can't I get complete love in my life .. why did all this happen??? Why...' she kept talking to Varun's photograph and tears fell from my eyes making me realise..
Nothing changed even after 12 years!!!
I still don't have her for me.
She still loves HIM!
And I'm still the looser!!!
A big looser!!!