Doubt
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Crying did not become a distraction that Nate had anticipated previously. Nora would wail on occasion like any other baby, but she was quiet. As the girl and himself stood beside one another at their daughter's crib, they endured yet again the painful sounds of her coughing. The girl cried in silence as he frowned deeply.
"Her medicine isn't working, what the Hell is wrong with it?" She asked.
"She is barely one year old in age, it is likely that the medicine alone could be lethal, let alone the respiratory virus."
Nora growled a few more times before breathing with a bit less labor. She found sleep soon; she should have been silent, but the airflow through her lungs did not go unheard. Any progress she made on breathing was solely due to the oxygen tube in her nose. She held onto the bear her father had given her at birth.
The young genius discretely massaged his temple in a vain attempt to thwart his sudden migraine. He dismissed it as a symptom of the particularly extreme stress he had been handling in recent times. The girl had implied that looming over their daughter would bring no benefit to his own health. In response, he gave a final glance at his daughter, began to walk away from his family and went to his monitor to continue his tasks.
"What I meant was you should really get some sleep or at least lie-down. You haven't relaxed for a moment in almost a month."
His tongue remained sheathed within his mouth. The lazy attempt of a sideglance waned and his attention returned to his monitor and spreadsheets. The papers were a bit passed the point of being handled, so he had propped a bulletin board upon an easel and pinned the information to it. He couldn't rationalize having it anymore.
Halle shuffled into the room, holding a heavily filled folder against her person. The poor woman never looked unhealthier; her hair dulled greatly, though that could possibly be attributed to the lack of shampooing it has received in the past month, her nails were chewed to half of their length, and she sported a few break-outs on her fair-skinned face.
"There's more inside, but the brief of it is that in the last week, there have been two-hundred and fifty-four reported deaths, all by a sudden heart attack. There was no trend we could find. In fact, most of the deceased haven't had a personal or family history of heart disease.They just dropped."
She paralleled her own final sentence by dropping the folder on the floor after being met with cold silence. The woman began walking toward the exit, but the girl halted her movements by grabbing her arm.
"Please, I need to talk to you, alone," the girl whispered.
The two ladies left the room and sat upon the couch in the living room.There was no sitting for Anthony nor Stephen, the former cross-referencing data on three separate monitors and the latter making phone call after phone call. The girl already felt like she was hindering their efforts, so she made a mental note to make her list of grievances short.
The girl rested her head upon Halle's shoulder, "He's never been an emotional or sensitive person, but he's acting really cold, especially for him. Even with other cases that stumped him before, he still was nice. I mean I can deal with him being rude to me, but you guys are only helping him."
"Well, you shouldn't deal with him being rude to you. You deserve his respect, especially as the mother of his child."
"It's just that it's really, really, odd. It's-It's like it's really not him. Like his brain is messed up."
"Oh honey, we can't-"
"I know, we can't think that way," she sat upright, "But I have no other conclusion, and I'm sure none of you do, either."
The older woman sighed, looking away, "I know. Well, technically, I don't know. Nothing's been fair. Especially for poor Nora. Is she getting any better?"
The girl blinked away the burning tears, "No, if anything, she's worse. Without that oxygen she wouldn't be able to breathe. If she shows no improvement by tomorrow I'm putting her back into the hospital."
Her blinking method failed her, as her tears fell more liberally than rainfall. She discovered upon opening her eyes that Anthony and Stephen knelt down in front of her. Their faces endured a similar hardship, showing signs of their stressful work lives as of the past month. The girl composed herself, excused her crying, and asked that they return to working, but to allow themselves moments to sit and collect their thoughts. She inhaled, stood, and walked back into the room.
"Nate!" She ran to him, sinking to her knees and cupping his face in her hands, "What happened? Your nose is bleeding!"
He wiped his face with his sleeve after pushing her hands aside, "I'm fine."
"No,you're not. You need to relax-"
"Don't say that to me again."
She completely forgot what it was to be in fear of another for so long,that she was taken aback by the shock in her heart. His tone was bitter. She was not going to allow herself to weep again, so she wandered over to her daughter. The baby laid still enough to fool one that she was in a peaceful state. It broke the young mother's heart to realize that Nora had no grasp on what was happening to her; just that she was in pain. The girl held her hand.
Nate rolled dice as if it were his job, and to a degree, it was his job.However, his usual pursuits yielded him results. Every other case had a logical flaw that he could expose and ultimately use in his favor to solve it once and for all. On his most difficult investigations,at most he spent roughly two weeks working with his team and with the help of underlings. The only other case that had taken him longer was ostensibly his first.
He smiled.
Without another moment wasted, he darted toward his nightstand, ignoring his family, and opened the drawer's secret compartment. He stared at it briefly before pulling it out in its entirety. He even took apart the entire thing, but he had yet to find his Death Note. He knew that he didn't move it to another place, and he never showed anybody how to get to it. His teeth gritted a bit while he clenched his fists.
"Looking for something?" Halle asked.
"Yes,some goddamn competence in this building."
"Hey,cool down," Stephen defended her, "All of us are pretty high strung, but that doesn't mean you can take it out on us."
"Actually,it does," he looked at his associates, "As your employer I'm in the right to do anything your contract allows me to, which includes,but is not limited to, abasing you when you poorly execute your job tasks."
"We're doing the best we can, sir," Anthony countered, "We came in to tell you that the Prime Minister has special interest and insists that we make headway in this investigation."
"I think that we may be dealing with a case we've seen before, more than once," Nate stated.
"How do you mean?" Stephen asked.
"I believe that another person has ownership of a Death Note."
Nobody could even speak. The girl would have liked nothing more than to leave them, but moving Nora and her equipment would serve as a rude distraction. They were too startled to exchange glances toward one another.
"It makes sense," he continued, "All heart attacks, within this area,and no people of interest. Considering that young and elderly people are dying, this new owner doesn't have a superlative grasp on the fundamentals yet. What's most odd, though, is that there isn't a consistent pattern with the victims. They weren't mostly composed of a single class, such as criminals or people of a certain group. It's as if they're killing for the sake of killing. I initially suspected this, but the government dismissed the chance of dealing with this again. They could suspend their disbelief a few times."
"But,how is that even possible?" Anthony questioned, "I thought you destroyed the Death Note?"
"It could be that another has come to Earth."
"So,what do we do?"
Nate turned away, twirling his hair, "Nothing."
"What?!"They all said, including the girl.
"I no longer have an interest in this case." He began to walk away,but Stephen grabbed his shoulder.
"Why?We've put so much energy and time into this, and you're dropping it like that!? You've tried that before, it won't work again!"
"Its none of your concern my reasons for dismissing a case. It's your concern that you follow my orders."
Halle could only stare forlornly at the scene. Her hand was grasped by the girl's. She sat beside her, holding her as the men argued, their volume increasing with each remark. It had built up, back and forth,until they were perpetually yelling.
"So you're giving up because it's too hard for you! Mello would have seen this to the end!" Stephen barked.
"...You're fired."
"Excuse me, sir?" Anthony asked, outstretching a hand to his superior, only to have it slapped away.
"I did not stutter. I want all of you out of this building. You will be paid for the rest of the month. Thank you for your time. Leave."
Halle and the girl sat in a stupor. The older woman's eyes and mouth were agape. She could not interject on this matter, even with her career on the line. Instead, she kissed the girl on her forehead, wished her luck, and left with her former associates without another word.
"What the HELL is wrong with you!"
"Nothing,"He walked away from her and started for the corner.
"ToHell it's nothing," she followed him, "You had no reason to treat them that way. Even if you're stressed beyond belief. Because they're also upset. All of us are. But that's no excuse for your behavior.You're being a dick."
He turned to her, "Fuck you."
She punched him.
"Now what?" Stephen asked, looking down as he walked.
"I don't get what that was all about," Anthony said, "And you,Halle? Are you okay?"
"I'm not... But it's not because we're fired," they entered the elevator and pressed for the lobby,"It's Near. He didn't fire us."
"How?"
"He may have said it, but he didn't mean it. There is something wrong with him. I think it's more than the case. He isn't all there.Don't tell me neither of you noticed him acting strangely."
"Well, of course," Stephen countered, "but he's always been odd and a pill."
"No, that's not it. He's blunt and direct. He's not rude or mean-spirited any means. I really don't know if we should leave. After all, he entrusted us to watch after Nora should they ever die. They've even said... we're family. We can't leave them."
"You 're right," Anthony looked down, frowning.
Before they left the elevator, a blinking red light and a beeping sound resonated throughout the whole building. They didn't need to ponder the source of the alarm trigger, for the problem was evident as soon as they entered the lobby.
"When did they get here?" Stephen asked, referring to the congregating mob outside the doors and windows.
"No idea, when is the last time we checked the monitors? I've been too preoccupied to," Anthony said.
The crowd used more primitive tactics such as bats and rocks to attack the glass, slowly learning that their minute efforts were gaining no desired results. They began resorting to Molotov cocktails, which seemed to only hinder themselves then the flames were born around them. Oddly enough, none of them gave caution to it and continued
"Come on, let's sneak out from the back," Stephen suggested.
They exited through the back door, only to find that more people were around the back, and the sparse line extended toward both ends of the building. Halle turned on her heel just in time for her face to be smashed by an empty bottle. She fell into Stephen's arms as Anthony detailed the perpetrator by knocking him out with a single punch.They raced back inside before others could grab them.
Halle'sface was bleeding heavily, but the wound was only superficial.Stephen took off his shirt, leaving him in a tank top, and allowed her to suppress the blood flow. It was unspoken but known to all that they were to make their way back upstairs.
Nate'snose bled rather profusely after being hit. Everything his eyes captured had doubled and faded; he could barely see her as she stood in front of him. She left him in his sway, sitting beside her daughter, sniffling and breathing deeply.
Moments after the girl began crying, she heard the alarm go off and checking the monitors revealed that a mob was growing outside. Immediately her thoughts went to Halle, Stephen, and Anthony, but then to her own family. She knew that the glass was bullet resistant, but it could only withstand the damages for so long. They were on the highest floor, but it would not take long for them to get there.
"Hey!"The three of them shouted after seeing the girl in front of the monitors.
"Halle,what happened!?"
"I'm fine, just got hit. We gotta go," she looked around, "Where'sNear?"
"He's hiding in the wall, a room with a hidden door, in that corner," she pointed to it, and Anthony went for him, "What do we do about Nora?She can't be moved like that, and we can't go slow for her."
"We 're just going to have to carry her and her oxygen," she ran to the closet in the living room, coming back with a large box. She opened it and released the contents: riot gear. She threw a set to Stephen and the girl, then started dressing in her own.
Right as he mentioned their dilemma, the monitor's activity captured the attention of the lucid minds, for one of the members of the mob took it upon themselves to race their car into the building, destroying the doors and frames around it. They drove all the way to the wall of the lobby, where they stopped. Along with the engine's fire, more cocktails were being thrown around like hotcakes. Easily, a dozen or more were run over in the stunt, but the violence did nothing to deter the growing crowd, and they began piling inside.
"Anthony put your gear on right now!" Halle begged, and he complied.
The girl began unhooking Nora from the apparatus in her crib and switched her to the smaller, portable oxygen. By then, all were dressed in the gear, with the notable exception of Nate.
"Please, Nate, stop this, we gotta go," She pleaded through her tears.
Nate finally stopped bleeding. Both nostrils drained blood fluidly,staining the floor and his person. The girl no longer wished to play his game, so she grabbed him, stood him up, and hoisted him over her shoulder. She and the rest began walking out of the room and to the living room.
They moved all the way to the third floor without any problems, but their luck ran thin at that point. The whole floor was clouded with black smoke, forcing them to their knees. The girl couldn't help but internally panic as she wondered how they could get Nora through. The stairs out poured the smoke, leaving the elevator as the only viable option, though that was also a risky move.
If anything were going well for them, most of the rioters were being detained by a coalition effort from the police and the fire department, the latter already addressing the fire in the lobby.Still, moving right down was not wise. He used the end of the weapon and smashed the window, coughing once the fresher air poured in. He fired a shot into the sky, which caught the attention of the fire engine.
"The ladder's coming for us now, but there's still too many people."
Loud collisions began filling the area well below them, subtle shakes following. They traveled upward, until a sudden explosion destabilized the floor's foundation, causing it to crack under their weight. Some of the flames reached upward past the break, and Halle screamed. They ran, just missing the collapse. Considering the force of the impact, it was not a stretch to understand that some had managed a grenade in their possession and released it on them.
"We're all okay?" Halle asked, trying her hardest to ignore the burning pain on her face, "Where's Near and Stephen?!"
They crawled and found them on top of the debris, but under the smoke, as they fell into a closed storage room. The girl screamed, trying to jump down, but the older man held her with all of his strength. Halle held the baby, who had been crying since they started moving, closer to her. She felt the tank, and it was warm. The woman pulled the tube from the child's nose and threw it before it could explode.Unfortunately, her strength was not enough, and it fell in the hole with them.
"Shit, no!"
Before the girl could begin pleading for him to get up, two firefighters came in through the window and ordered everybody out. The first one took the baby and went down the ladder as the second one led the others down. The girl laid at the side of the hole, pleading withNate to get up and reach her hand. The firefighter grabbed her from behind and started dragging her away.
"I'm leaving... you!" Nate heard.
He looked up and saw the girl angrily frowning.
"I don't... love you! NO!!!" And she disappeared from his sight.
She was forced onto the ladder, "Please go back and save him!PLEASE!"
In a winding misery, the girl found herself outside and standing on the ground within a makeshift barricade of police vans, fire trucks, and officers. Nora had been taken into an ambulance, and before the girl could fully turn around, the vehicle had already been in-transit. She started to sprint, but it hadn't even been more than a moment before she was held back.
She turned again, this time facing the building and instantly remembering that Nate was still inside, unconscious. Even though she used her entire body's strength, she found herself completely immobile.
"I said I wouldn't leave him and that I loved him! AGH!!!!!!!"
"______. Stop!" Halle pleaded, holding her, "I know you want to save him,but we can't do anything anymore. There are many people... I also want to bring back from the dead. But it's time to let go. We can't always win. We need to let go."
Halle held the girl closer to her,hugging her as if she were the last person on Earth, rather than restraining her anymore. With that, she wasn't fighting or running from her. She instead held the hands around her chest, and the women cried the best of their exhaustion.
"Holy shit!" The chief yelled.
One by one, each member of the mob dropped to the ground, limp, without provocation or warning. Even a few emergency response workers joined.The remaining rushed to the bodies, pronouncing deaths. It was in the swarm of confusion and preoccupied minds that allowed Stephen to rush outside undetected. He hadn't slowed down until he was beside his associates. They immediately took notice to his nearly blackened and bloodied arm. He was covered in ash and scratches.
"I,"he panted, "I pulled Near as much as I could, but..."
"Hey,it's okay," Anthony reassured, awestruck at his appearance,likewise to the women.
"He's...he's still alive?" The girl asked, her eyes brightening.
"LastI saw him yes," he went into a coughing fit and was escorted into another ambulance.
Anthony charged from the scene and into the building, leaving the range of earshot when protest to his actions arose.
"I'm leaving you!... I don't love you!... NO!!!!"
Nate's hearing and sight achieved a serene haven in the eye of the decay. A pitch darkness permeated his vicinity and peripheral scope. He had suddenly found himself capable again. He laid on his back, covered his eyes, and cried.
"Pathetic."
After moments of weeping, the young man withdrew his hands and looked beside him.
"I expected more from you, kid, I really did. You never were that interesting to begin with, but you were pretty creative."
He struggled but managed to sit up. The young man noticed the thick trail of blood staining his shirt. His hand combed through his hair;the absence of the grueling cerebral pain was noted.
"Tellme, are you thinking clearly now? It must be nice."
He had never before conducted a glare so purely full of contempt. The emasculation with the lack of strength to channel his rage did nothing to prevent him from balling his fists.
"You didn't give much of a fight at all. Your own daughter tried for her life more than you."
Tried?
"Why won't you save Nora?"
Nate's eyes watered and released tears, though his body did not cry. He tensed his muscles and glowered with a rage present in his face and mouth as he watched the winged creature pull out his own notebook.Somehow, he heard the clicking of the pen despite the burning infrastructure.
"I thought you'd be more assertive in your last move. You're basically moving into check. Even you know that's against the rules."
His soul had become as lethargic as his body. At this point, he only hoped that the girl and his daughter were alright.
"I couldn't solve the puzzle. I didn't win the game."
"I love watching you humans figure things out, but since it's near the end, I'll be nice and let you know: it's nothing. No bad guys, no agenda, no case. It just so happened that a some of my lazier acquaintances did a binge on collecting years. They didn't pay attention, obviously, that's why you saw so many numbers here dropping. That's all."
Natestammered, unable to rebuff. The look of senility and desperation in the young man's face was... pathetic. His family's presence in his memories flashed into his sobered thoughts, taking likeness to an anesthetic. It was the weakness in their smiles.
"I lost," he loomed.
"Well,I'll see you later, Near."
"I 've got you, sir!"
Nate succumbed and fell limp, embracing the rest.
The girl and Halle sat on the bumper of an ambulance truck, holding one another. The older woman's prior wisdom faded into worry for every man she worked with for the past few years of her life. The younger woman's face fell jaded as she watched the embers fly in the breeze.She hardly gave attention to the butterfly that landed on her hand.
"MyGod!" Halle yelled, standing up.
The girl picked up her head, faltering a teary grin. Anthony ran,labored, holding Nate in his arms. There was far too much momentum in the scene for the enormity to be appreciated and understood; the rate made it unceremonious. In the time it took for their smiles to dissipate, the older man halted, strained his face as he descended onto the ground with his former boss beneath him.
It was dark, for a while.
But,after a bit of struggling and squirming, Nate slowly opened his eyes,greeting the intense light that was above him. When he fully opened them, the light lessened its brightness, and he could assess that he was in a hospital room. To his left was a bed table, containing a vase of flowers, a few cards, and some of his robots and dice. To his left was his partner, holding their daughter, the latter being the only one awake. She reached her arms for her father.
"Daddy! Daddy!" She leaned over a bit, waking her mother.
"I know, sweetheart, you want Daddy, but he's still sleeping."
The girl's forlorn face fell when she looked up and saw that Nate had returned her gaze. She tightened her hold on Nora as she covered her gasping mouth. Words failed her as she stood and walked closer to him.
"Nate?"She asked, holding his hand.
"Yes?"
She could only weep as she held his hand to her face for a few moments.When she regained her composition, she sat down on the bed beside him. The girl's gentle stroke of his cheek let him feel his unprecedented facial hair. He held his face, meeting her hand.
"She called for me," Nate said, a bit astounded.
"Yeah,she's talking a little earlier than expected. Guess she really is your daughter. She's all better, it's a miracle if you ask me. As soon as we got out..." The girl fell silent, frowning a bit before recovering.
"Please tell me what happened."
"Nate,"she cupped his face, then twirled a bit of his hair around her finger, "You have been gone for a little while, you need to slow down and let me explain slowly. In fact, I should get the doc-"
Asudden throw of a pair of dice threw her off guard.
"Thank you, Nora," Nate said, "Given my rash memories of the fire and me being in this hospital, I assume I was injured."
"Yes, and no."
He cocked his eyebrow.
"You dislocated and fractured the right side of your hip when you fell. Aside from that, you had a horrific aneurysm. That's probably why you were so odd before you..."
He knew and understood but had no desire for confirmation; maybe the idiosyncrasy in his inquisitive nature was truly indicative that he suffered an aneurysm after all. Every moment his glance is enamored by his daughter, he failed to deny how much she had grown since he had last seen her. Each change he observed led him to imagine what it was like for the girl to witness them alone. Or, maybe, not alone at all? He had completely disregarded his associates, to his embarrassment.
"I need to know... How old is Nora?"
"...She'sone year and three months old. To the day. I still can't believe I 'm talking to you and you're actually talking back. I thought I'd be the only one talking forever," a tear escaped from her eye.
The first and most devastating realization that hit him was the fact that he had missed his own daughter's first birthday. Then there was the additional guilt for the one-sided conversations she hosted with his unconscious body, likely having the baby with her most of the time if not all of it. The knowledge that he had no physical control over the situation did little for an appetite of candid logic that had been laying more and more dormant as he stayed awake.
"Where's Halle? And the rest?"
Much like that of a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, she reddened in the face and avoided eye contact with him.
"...How about this, when you're better, I'll take you to visit them. Okay?"
Nate was too weak to react much more outwardly than frowning. The memories obtained before falling comatose did nothing to alleviate the immense guilt weighing down on his heart. His looming was broken by his daughter saying "Daddy" again.
"Can...Can I please hold her?"
Within a moment, Nora was laying against his chest as he held her in his atrophied arms. The comfort of his touch lulled her to sleep in no time. He kissed the top of her head.
"The doctors were telling me that it was very unlikely that you would ever wake up. And they even said that your bills would make us broke. It took a big chunk of your money, but we're still safe. Every time I asked if you'd get better, they'd just say..."
She chocked on a sob, and he asked, "What did they say?"
"They said, 'I doubt it.'"
The girl joined her partner and daughter in the bed, holding the both of them close to her. She could not stop crying, knowing that, whether or not the road to recovery would be long or short, it was there in the first place. And she would walk every step of it with him.
"By the way," she murmured, "happy birthday."
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