Mahina's cold exterior was cracking into despair. Every time she opened her phone she saw hate messages. They told her she wasn't good enough for the group, that the boys didn't deserve her, that she was useless.

She knew it shouldn't get to her, but it ate away at her. She knew it was bound to happen at some point, but it was just starting to tear her down. The insecurities fed off her, it consumed her mind. She spent extra hours practicing, trying to be better, not for herself but for the boys she considered family, and Yeri.

The new temporary manager didn't help. The original manger had to go sort out some family problems, but she would be back soon.

The new manager, Soonhye seemed to have it out for Mahina, and she didn't know why. Mahina didn't think that Soonhye had any reason to hate her except for being in the group. Or maybe her looks? No that couldn't be it. Soonhye blantly said her scar was ugly. 

Fame? 

Attention?

The boys?

She couldn't tell.

Soonhye made her stay after longer to practice, she practically fed her beauty tips, restricted what she ate in the building. The dorm was her only safe haven, but even then nothing protected her from her phone.

It wasn't any of their words that made her shatter though, it was Jisung. It was in practice one day. They were practicing for their upcoming comeback and for some reason the duo was on edge. When break was called everyone except Mahina, Chenle, and Jisung left to go get food. Everyone was tired preparing for the new comeback.

Mahina practically collapsed onto the ground. She laid on the floor looking up at the ceiling. Jisung and Chenle were whisper talking to each other in the corner. They finally came over to Mahina.

"Whats up with you?" Jisung said harshly. Chenle shot him a warning glance when Mahina sat up. "Like you keep messing up, its unlike you."

Mahina glanced at the duo. "I'm just tired."

"We're all tired. Just suck it up."

Mahina bristled and stood up walking to the door. "I'm going to go." She nearly reached the door when Jisung called out to her once more.

"What you can't bear to hear the truth." Mahina's fingers brushed against the door knob. "You're a coward." Mahina stilled. "Your just holding us back. Get your act together."

Chenle hissed, "Jisung stop it."

"No. She needs to hear the truth. If she can't pull her act she doesn't deserve to be in NCT." Jisung snapped at her. "You're weak. Pathetic. Worthless. Maybe you should've died like everyone else in that plane crash." Jisung had no filter, he didn't mean those words, he was just tired and not thinking straight.

Mahina's tone was low. "You don't think I know that." A bitter laugh escaped her. "People keep telling me that recently. That I'm worthless, ugly, horrific, disgusting. That I'm not worthy to be in NCT." Her head was tilted down. "But I didn't believe them, even if it was eating away at me. Then Soonhye come along. She made my life torture. My only escape was the dorm. But, I still refused to believe her." She was shaking. "Because I had you guys. I held onto you." Her voice cracked. "But, I guess if you are saying it then it must be true." 

Jisung stared at her back, eyes filled with regret. "Mahina-"

"No! Just- I'll leave." Her hand shook as she grabbed the knob and twisted it. As she was about to step outside the door, Jisung grabbed her hand and spun her so Chenle and him were facing her. What the two noticed next made them stare at Mahina in shock. Tears were rolling down her face. The pair never saw Mahina cry.

Mahina tugged her wrist away and she fled. She bumped into Mark but she just kept running, ignoring the calls of her name.