"I love you"

His words rang in my ears, repeating like hell on earth. Somehow, I didn't heard it enough. This was a constant reminder that was tried too hard to be made a genuine statement, but was taken and said as if it was a lie. Slowly, I began zoning out from reality. I didn't want to hear it anymore, it's all a lie, it isn't true, it isn't fair!!!!

I snapped back to the real world, hesitsnt on responding to Renjun. I head was pounding as a million thoughts and scenarios flooded my entire mind, tearing away my focus from Renjun at all. I couldn't breathe. He's said this to me and so have I over a hundred times before, but right now, I cut the cord and release every emotion I've ever had built up inside of me on him all at once.

"Do you really Renjun? Tell me that" I said plainly.

He rose his eyebrow in awe, mixed with a dose of confusion. My eyes we're already burning from a familiar, dense feeling known better by heartbroken tears. Renjun took my hands in his, clitching them for dear life. He scoffed, probably assuming I was pulling some stupid prank on him to get attention. Except, this time, it wasn't a prank, but it was definitely soaking up every last drop of his attention.

"Your kidding right?" he asked, his voice breaking a little on the last word.

I shook my head vigorously and kept mouthing "no", cautiously ripping my wrists away from Renjun's grasp.

"Y/N, calm down what are y-"

I cut him off, not giving him any preparation for the anger and emotion that was about to explode right in front of him. I'm so god damn sorry Renjun. But I'm beginning to doubt I can live with myself like this any longer.

"Dont tell me calm down, don't tell me it's gonna be okay, and don't tell me you love me! Don't lie to me Renjun. I'm so sick of feeling like I'm losing a consant battle against something all on my own everyday instead of having help! You are always hanging out with guys until 1 AM, lately it's ran longer,  and leaving me alone in the dark at home! I'm so cold and upset all the time!"

"Y/N.."

"NO RENJUN YOU LISTEN TO ME! You NEVER return my calls, you barely go on dates with me anymore, and beside from all that, anytime we are together if there's other girls there and they flirt, you just let them! Sometimes you flirt back! In front of me, goddamn it, in fucking front of me! I'm your girlfriend, your girlfriend!

"Y/N, ple-"

" No Renjun NO! IM NOT your side chick! So don't give me any more bullshit lies Renjun, because I see right through you. And even though you don't realize it or care fir that matter, I love you. I love you!!! And sure you say it back, but do you show it? No! Never! We've been together for 8 months and not once have we had anything more romantic than holding hands. We've never kissed, cuddled, not even a kiss on the cheek! If I say I'm freezing, I don't expect you to give me your coat, but you cold at least hug me! I know PDA isn't your thing, plus saesangs, fans and reporters, i get that, okay? But god forbid you make a gesture! So there Renjun. I'm not happy. And I would say sorry but I really have nothing to be sorry for in the end. I also would love to tell you that this was great while it lasted but it honestly was the worst thing mt heart has ever felt. And I don't know if anyone or anything can fix it, because I'm so weak over you. No matter what. Whether you actually truly love me or n-" I was out of breath by the time I was nearly done ranting, and it didn't help that a pair of lips we're desperately slammed on mine.

Tears streamed down my face as I pursed my lips gently towards his, kissing back weakly. I couldn't feel any nerves in my body except for my heart thudding in my chest rapidly. His kiss was so determined and critically needed that we didn't notice the time ticking away quickly as our lips never left the others once. The feeling is indescribable. But right now-

I'd like to call it love.

Even though I would do this forever more waisting my time away with him absorbing his rare, gentle touch. I melted into the last moments of his kiss and when he pulled away, both our breathes struggled to be caught. For about four seconds we panted, and there was barely any soace between us as he re-connected our lips, sealing them tightly together. It was a resume of the previous kiss, and it grew even better with every second. His arms made their way around my waist, tugging me upwards and off the ground, pulling me onto him. With one strong hand pushing my back so that my front would graze against his chest, he utilized the other to secure my legs around his lower torso. He started walking towards the hallway and out if the empty bright mirror room, not allowing his lips to part from mine, and backed me agains the wall. His kiss felt like heaven on earth, and I'd never known that and pribably never would have until now. Should I be glad I said what I said? Or is this all driven by- no, it couldn't he's too young to call it that, it couldn't be.

Wow.. so this is what love feels like.

Love.

In a quite unwilling fashion, his lips pulled away from mine and our eyes locked in a stare that nether of us could rip away from. His dark, circles we're the only thing I ever wanted to focus on. Right now or ever for that matter. I barely shifted my gaze down to his lips, and they quickly stretched into a beautiful, yet simple smile. I returned the same look (note: I'm still crying) weakly, letting a slight, quiet giggle. He joined in, laughing along lightly.

"I'm gonna say it once, and you better belive it you brat. I love you. So much" he pecked my lips after speaking.

"Im so sorry I'm always busy, not with you, not doing.. whatever just happened, for all of that, I'm so sorry Y/N. If you'll let me, I'll do anything for, to and with you whenever you want, I don't care what else stands in the way, I'll make it happen somehow. I must be a terrible boyfriend now that i think of all the nights and mornings, or anything in between that I haven't been there tor you. I can't belive what I almost ruined. Ive been spending all my time thinking I'm having fun with anybody but you, and I realize now that I was making such a big mistake. I never knew what was right in front of me. You. I can't express in words how sorry I am.. but I love you Y/N, okay?"

I nodded, and coughed on my tears as I was pulled into tight, loving hug that lasted for what seemed for forever. I wantwd it to last forever but we backed away from each others embrace and looked at each other. Showing his bright, toothy grin, he pulled me onto his lap and rested his chin on my head, occasionally (once or twice) kissed the crown.

"You know.. whenever I'm with the boys, they always talk about you. Always saying how envious they are, saying your so pretty. And when girls flirt with me, I don't stop it because I- ...I'm scared that I'll loose you to Jeno.. I kniw how close you are and even though you say your only friends I can't help but feel.. feel-"

I cut him off: "Jealous?"

He sighed while nodding shamefully. I cupped his face, letting out a small smile, which he also shot back gladly. I kissed his lips for about four seconds and he was blushing when I saw his face after the fact. I giggled at his red, flustered expression, breathing in and out deeply.

"There's no reason to try and make me jealous for one, and there's also no reason to think Jeno and I have anything going on. Or with any of the other members. Because... Would I do this to them?" I said before I crashed my lips to his for the third time today.

He seemed a little taken back, and even though our first kiss was only a little heavier than this one, it was still just slightly more gentle, but still it remained passionate and sudden. He nibbled playfully on my bottom lip repetitively whispering "grrr" through giggles that vibrated against my lips. He backed away and I immediately continued.

"Well?" I questioned.

"N-no.. y-you wouldn't.." he admitted.

Somehow, his severe embarrassed state worsened, feeling that his cheeks were flaming hot. I kissed both of his cheeks and then his nose.

"We're gonna be perfectly fine, Y/N. Okay? Drag me through hell and back with your hand in mine. I don't care how much it hurts. I'll never leave you, ever. I love you"

"I love you too. But I'd never have the nerve to drag an angel through hell" I joked.

He chuckled under his breath, gently pulling a couple thick strings of hair away from my face and placing it behind my ear. He leaned in beside where he put the strand of curls and kissed my ear tenderly. I shivered at the sudden touch, although it was gentle, it made my body earn unexpected freezing chills. His gentle, soft voice whispered..

"Your the angel, babygirl, trust me"

--

Welp

This one waz longer than most of my other ones (I think, cause its 1689 words)

I'm happy with it

Much proud

Very happiness

As you were