Before I begin the interview, I want everyone to know I'm not a bully and that anything I criticize is not to offend or hurt the author. We are only trying to help. I hope you enjoy and learn from this review and please remember you asked us to do this.

The Path I Travel By Yuki_Rino

Reviewed by Crowillow

First Impressions

The cover of your book is wonderful and I love how the colors pop and give it color. The title is clear to see and it draws in the readers.

The title of your book is interesting and it captured my eye. It made me wonder what type of path was Yuki going to take. Was it going to be a good one or a bad one?

I feel as if your description is a little lacking as it feels like a list and it does give much of the plot away. Your grammar could also use a little bit more work as well.

Your Story's Plot and Structure

The plot is interesting and I can that you have plans to take it somewhere even more interesting in the future. I love the fact that your chapters are long and not short. However, I noticed that you need to work a little better on your grammar and add better break-lines in the story.

I think some of your plot was rushed a lot in certain places and descriptions are important to allow your readers to connect with your story and to help them become one with the characters, being said, I think you could work some more on describing things. An example would be-

Yuki snuggled deeper into Shikamaru's chest and the rhythm of his heartbeat gave her the sense of a lullaby her mom once sung long ago.

I like to also caution you to the fact your character seems a little Mary-sue in terms of power and I know it is hard to not write a character who ends a Mary-sue in the end. Also, I don't know if you know or not, but Genin are twelve-thirteen when they graduate from the academy, not seventeen, if you changed their age to suit your story then I recommend putting it in a footnote somewhere.

Also, Yuki is a real clan in the Naruto Verse. They had a bloodline known as Ice-Release, and Haku was a member of that clan, so I recommend you maybe changing it something else. Also, if you recall the child Yota, his traveling clan could control the weather which reminds me kind of what Yuki can do herself.

Final verdict on your story

While I would not read your story because I don't read these types, I know you have a good one on your hands that will do well and perhaps even become ranked high on the fanfic list.

Cheers mate!

-Crow