Before I begin the interview, I want everyone to know I'm not a bully and that any negative critics I say are not to offend or hurt the author. We are only trying to help. I hope you enjoy and learn from this review and please for RAMEN' sake, remember you asked us to do this.

First Impressions:

I do not know about other people but before I read the book I often judge it by the cover, title, and description. I know if it looks and sounds good, I usually read it right away. Though I think this might be a given for any avid reader. Your cover is basically the essence in what your story is going to be about in a way. The better the cover, the better the story because it means you are working earnestly for it to be so. The cover of your story is done nicely with a mysterious tone to it. I however think it would have looked better without the pictures of the characters on it.

Another way to catch a potential reader's attention is to have a catchy title. A title is precisely like a picture, meaning it can capture a thousand words about the story without giving anything away about the plot. I like your title and feel as if it gives a mystic vibe to the story as a whole. It has captured my attention and as a potential reader that's splendid!

Writing a description of the story can be rather hard, and I understand completely as a fellow writer myself. You don't want your description to be too lengthy or even too limited. You also don't want to give too much of your story away to the reader either. That being said, I think your description could use a little bit more work as the grammar was a bit off.

Your Story's Plot

I will be honest, I don't usually modern AU for this fandom. I recall the last modern one I read was Fancy Footwork from another site. I think your plot is a little bit over the place, and I feel as if you're trying very hard to not add complete elements of other fandoms that gave you inspiration for this story.

Your Story's Structure

So far what I have observed, your stories structure is a mess. I AM IMPRESSED WITH YOUR WORD COUNT! The flow of the chapters written are rushed and all over the place. The point of view switches change frequently that it appeared a bit like whiplash. (I am fondly reminded of my first Naruto fanfic as I did the same thing.) Details and description with emotions are important as they help readers connect with the characters. I think you could work a bit more on this. I only found a few grammar mistakes and I know it's hard to find people to beta your story. ALSO, WE ARE HUMAN!

Example of description: The wind was brisk tonight as it gently caressed Naruto's cheeks as if they knew he needed a lover. The sound of leaves crunching underneath Naruto's orange shoes matched to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

Example of emotion: Purple sparks around him and in his grief the world blends into muted colors. "Jiang-" someone is calling his name, but his grief is too much and, breathe, breathe . "Jiang." he's choking on something and why can he not get air in his lungs? There's a sting to his face and Jiang Cheng finds himself in cruel reality as his sworn brother, Wei Wuxian, stands over him with a look of concern in his gray eyes. "Wanyin, breathe." Jiang Cheng finds himself on the floor in the amidst of his damaged sorrow and rage. (from a story of mine)

Final Verdict on your story

I think you have a really wicked thing going for this story. If anyone is in for a spooky and mystery with some rare pairings then this is for them!

Final words from Crowillow

I know I probably came off relatively rude or harsh, but this is a review and the author consented to it. Also, please remember this is merely my opinion and other readers or writers may not agree with me on it. A review is nothing but free advice sometimes taken and other times not okay. I'm hardly the perfect writer myself, and I can guarantee you I'm learning something new about writing daily.

Cheer's mate!

-Crow