A/N: I mean... two rewrites of a rewrite within weeks of each other.

I'm losing my goddamn mind.

::

Sasuke frowned as he looked through the spaces of the upstairs railing. His current nanny was in the living room again, chewing some gum and typing whatever into her phone as she sat on one of his dad's expensive white couches. 

She was always doing this and it was annoying.

So he did the only sane thing he could think of in situations like these and trotted into his room. When he came back, he was lugging a bucket filled with water, ice, and blue dye and crawled onto the chair he sat on before and stood, the bucket in his small arms. 

He tipped it over the railing with a perfect blank face, only smiling when his nanny's enraged screams reached his ears.

"SASUKE!"

Sasuke stuck his tongue out at her before running back into his room and locking the door.

::

Uzumaki Naruto trudged through his apartment door with a pout on his lips and his orange tie halfway off. Work was work as usual. Paperwork, annoying coworkers, and a boss who at least more decent than all the other assholes on the floor. But it was all temporary, he assured himself, because all he needed was the job experience so he could make a company and be his own boss just like his late father.

Time. He had a lot of that.

"Sakura-chan!" he called. Naruto raised a plastic bag of take out over his head. "I got Ichiraku's! And old man Teuchi gave us some extra dumplings 'cause he thinks we're not eating enough even though I told him you keep nagging me about my diet."

"You eat everything in sight. That's an issue."

"But I'm fit."

A snort.

"Fit to die."

Haruno Sakura, Naruto's best friend and roommate, emerged from her room and greeted him by shoving his face forward, plucking the take out from his hands, and walking towards the table to grab her share. 

He whined.

"You're so mean to me," he pouted. "And I got us dinner."

She leveled him with an unimpressed stare through her mussed up bangs before drawing a hand over her heart and sighing dramatically.

"Oh Naruto, my sweet darling friend who is the most stable fixture in my life, I'm so thankful that you brought me these delicious half-price ramen noodles because without this sustenance, I would've died."

He tried to nod seriously, but couldn't stop his laughter.

"Damn right, Sakura-chan. Now let's eat—it's gonna get cold soon, dattebayo!"

They shared a grin and sat down at the old table to dig in. They'd been best friends for ages, it seemed, ever since Sakura socked a kid in the face on Naruto's behalf when they were in the same class in middle school. After that, they were like glue: Sakura with her straight A's and being part of Student Council and Naruto with his "delinquent" status that always seemed to get into fights until Sakura pulled him away herself.

When they graduated from high school, Sakura immediately took her scholarship to Tokyo University while Naruto searched for a job (college was never something he wanted and he still had yet to regret not taking the opportunity), but they stayed together through everything.

Why?

They didn't know. It was just something they felt was right.

"Your coworkers up to no good again?" Sakura questioned. Naruto groaned into his noodles and slurped.

"They're all dicks. And one of them won't stop talking about dicks," he grumbled. "Remember Sai? Bastard keeps insisting I don't have one and I'm this close,"—he held his thumb and pointer finger so close together that they almost touched—"to picking up my chair and swinging at him. Then there's Shisui that keeps trying to get Deidara to blow up the damn office, Yamato's yellin' at Kakashi because he's sleeping or reading porn—porn! And Lee goes on about youth while all of it's happening! Sakura-chan, if you get a call about me being in prison, you'll know who I damn well murdered."

She stuffed a dumpling in her mouth and pointed her chopsticks in his direction.

"You've already been to jail during your delinquent days, so I wouldn't be surprised regardless."

"Jail's not prison."

"Close enough." 

Before he could retort and defend his dignity over him being in jail only three times in his high school days, his phone buzzed and he looked down at the text.

From: Boss Asshat [19:03]

Uzumaki Karin quit.

To: Boss Asshat [19:04]

the nany?

From: Boss Asshat [19:06]

She would not inform me of what Sasuke had done, but when I came home, she was covered in blue dye, her hair was bleached, and her glasses were cracked. She handed in her resignation form.

Sakura tilted her head at the exasperated look on Naruto's face.

"Itachi?"

"Yup. Itachi."

To: Boss Asshat [19:10]

so u want me to wtch saske tom or somthn

From: Boss Asshat [19:11]

You will be compensated with extra pay.

To: Boss Asshat [19:12]

fine wat time do u want me to pik him up

From: Boss Asshat [19:13]

Ten in the morning. Thank you.

To: Boss Asshat [19:14]

u seriosly need to find someon she was lik the 200th one

From: Boss Asshat [19:14]

She was the 99th.

Naruto sighed. It wasn't like it was a big deal watching Sasuke. He was young and a good kid and it wasn't his fault that Itachi had such a demanding job as CEO of a nation-renowned weapons company. Not only that, his son was only five years old and he had no one else to take care of him besides whichever nanny Itachi picked out for him.

Sakura leaned against the table.

"I guess that look means you're babysitting Sasuke again, huh?" she asked. 

"Yeah, he drove my cousin off. I'm pretty sure I get to hear her yelling later today," he replied. "Well, whatever, I guess. The brat likes me enough to not plot my impending doom like every other one of his nannies."

::

"Can I get ice cream?"

"Yeah, why not."

"And we can go to the park?"

"Only if you don't run off, 'cause you run hella fast even with your tiny legs."

"M'not tiny!"

"Right, and I don't have blond hair. Nice try."

Sasuke stuck his tongue out at Naruto before going back to looking at the buildings around them. He didn't get to leave the house that often, and when he did, it was only to the other places his father owned. But at least with Naruto, he was able to go to other places his father couldn't take him too.

He held onto Naruto's hand as he concentrating to walk on the straight line of the crosswalk as they approached the park. He didn't bother looking up when a phone rang and his babysitter for the day picked it up and answered.

"What's up, Sakura-chan?"

It was nice outside today. And the trees were big and green. And there wasn't too many people, so that meant he didn't have to wait his turn on the swings for that long.

"We're at the park now. The—you know, the one by that cafe that makes your favorite anmitsu... Uhuh... Yeah! But don't you have class?" Naruto questioned. Sasuke tugged on his hand when he spotted an ice cream stall at the edge of the path and pointed.

"Ice cream! You said you'd get ice cream!" he exclaimed.

"Ice cream?" a new voice mused. Sasuke turned around to see a lady smiling down at him. She took the phone against her ear and tucked it in her back pocket. "What's your favorite flavor?"

"Strawberry. Who're you?"

"Mine too! My name's Haruno Sakura, nice to meet you," she greeted warmly. She held out her hand for the boy to take, and he shook hers with a curious look on his face. Naruto was talking to a Sakura on the phone and she was here now. 

It was like magic.

"I'm Sasuke," he said. "Are you Naruto's girlfriend?"

Naruto made a face from beside him and Sakura laughed. But it wasn't a bad laugh like when Karin tried to flirt with his father, but it was really happy.

Sasuke liked her laugh.

"No, we're just friends."

"I thought so 'cause you're too pretty for him."

That sent Sakura into another bout of laughter as Naruto sputtered incredulously before the three of them went to the ice cream stand to get their scoops: Sakura and Sasuke with their strawberry and Naruto with his chocolate, mango, and matcha three stack.

Sakura called him an endless pit.

Naruto "accidentally" knocked her ice cream in her face and bolted.

Sasuke giggled from his spot on a park bench as Sakura set down her backpack at his side and asked him to hold the remains of her ice cream, patches of pink still on her mouth and nose.

"Sasuke-kun, I'll be right back."

"Okay."

Then he watched as Sakura ran off and chased Naruto around the park before she caught up and tackled him into the park fountain.

Sasuke laughed.