Trigger Warning... Angst with a happy ending.... Forgive me ahead of time!...

Lan Zhan woke up stretching as he automatically looked at the time on Alexa's screen. He was a creature of habit, even at the ripe old age of ten years old. He did not complain as he rose to start his day. He had a duty to become the best he could, so he could help his Father, mother and elder brother run the family import business when he got older. and his job right now, was to learn all he could in between school and the time he had to join in sports and 'play'.  Methodical and responsible, he brushed his teeth, showered and dressed. By the time his parents rose he was finishing his orange juice and granola and was reading ahead in the book Teacher had assigned them yesterday; one chapter was to be read each day. He had only three more to go and then he could lay Roald Dahl aside and move on to the much-more satisfying volume of European history he has removed from the family extensive library. 

There were private advantages that had come his way as the second son of a quietly wealthy Chinese American family, and his favorite privilege was the unceasingly full shelves of books at his disposal. He had claimed the library as his since the day he discovered how to read. If they lost track of him, his family always looked for him there first, and he would be sitting on a cushion, legs crossed behind a curtain that shielded his private window seat that looked down on the street below. His library was his refuge from things pressing for entrance at the back of his mind. Things he sensed that he was not ready yet to visit. Things too disturbing to handle. So he kept them walled away for when he was ready for them, until he had reached five years old.

 But these few hours, when he rose before them all to finish his homework, were set aside in pursuit of his passion for history. Right now, the early battles in England, with the   Romans against Boudicca's forces, were waiting. He zoomed through the dark and twisty world of the Chocolate Factory, pleased that Charlie's dreams had come true, then immediately plunged happily into the gritty and seamy struggles of a ruthless Queen's doomed fight for freedom. 

Boudicca's story was strangely compelling. He liked that. It made him feel less alone, less of an odd duck when dealing with children not able to recall even their last life, much less uncountable ones. 

Like his Wei Ying. Who never came back remembering. He sighed. It was tiring sometimes. Yet, he relished every moment of it

He thought back on the day that his neighbors arrived home with their new baby, five years ago. His mother had taken him with her when she had gone to make sure everything was set for the new family's arrival home. The Weis and Lans were good friends, and his mother was as excited about this new baby as the parents were. Lan Zhan was not convinced.

What was the big deal, he had thought to himself. You cannot share a book with something that small, uneducated and clueless, could you? Then really, what good was a baby? But he kept his own council and went along with the meaningless excitement. Babies? Honestly, why? What was the use?

At least that was the way he thought until he was compelled by his mother to come and admire the squirming creature in the baby swing. Until he looked down at the tiny face. The flailing clenched fists, and a pair of merry gray eyes. A mouth designed by the gods for nothing more important other than smiling.  A big smile. A happy smile. A smile Lan Zhan suddenly never wanted to see leave that charming face.

His Wei Ying had come back, and Lan Zhan was lost once more, in the whole reason for his existance.

He felt the sense of peace deep within an otherwise somewhat sterile space; not an unhappy world, just one that had no real passion for him for the five years where he had seemed to be stuck ...waiting for something. And one glance into innocent gray eyes, and all his memories from all his lifetimes began to unfold like a lotus flower opening. slowly revealing itself. Because he had always chosen this path, he was now designed to accept them slowly and calmly, and he realized that his only true destiny was life, once again, with Wei Ying. The memories did not flood him. That would have been to cruel and too much to handle. They came as they needed to. Many happy times, many sad times. There was no rhythm to it, no insistence; they just evolved slowly as he aged and grew up at Wei Ying's side. 

He watched Wei Ying as he learned to roll over. Saw him cut his first tooth. Take that first uncertain step. He listened with pride at the baby's first words, Lan Zhan, and learned patience as they turn into happy and ceaseless prattle. And every day after Wei Ying began school, just like today, he waited the quiet hours before they were driven through the gates to the big brick place of learning, with a feeling akin to impatience; until he could hold his Wei Ying's hand in his and walk his best friend safely to his classroom. Then begin the long wait until he could protect him during recess.

To Be Continued...