Author's Note:
Oh boy oh boy oh boy
I decided to bring back my most requested one shot... Dirty pick up lines haha
I had to do research because I was running out of pick up lines...
What I do for you guys~
-Jason

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Natsu watched as Lucy and the girls walked out of the guild hall to go relax outside. Admittedly it was a beautiful day, and staying inside is something a crazy person would think of. And yet, he refused to go join everyone. So he stayed inside with the few people who decided they were going to be indoor people... Juvia, Makarov, Max, and Elfman... Probably the oddest group he's ever seen.

Max was only there because he was stocking up for his store. Makarov was just drinking and burning paperwork he didn't feel like doing. Elfman had little interest in nature and he constantly said staying indoors is man... Which Natsu didn't understand. And Juvia? He didn't understand why she wasn't attached to Gray.

"Hey Juvia." Natsu said awkwardly as he sat next to her at the bar. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Oh! Natsu-San... Juvia is just writing some things down..." The water mage hummed with a dreamy look on her face. "For Gray-sama."

Natsu blinked and strained his neck to look at what was written down on her piece of paper. "Like what? A love letter? That won't work on him."

Juvia shook her head and pushed the sheet over to him. Once he read the first sentence, he nearly choked on his own saliva.

"Pick up lines?" He forced out, trying not to laugh. "On Gray?"

Juvia pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "Of course! Juvia has to fulfill all of Gray-sama's desires! Including sexualized humor."

Natsu smiled and glanced out towards the window, looking at everyone hanging out together with bright smiles on their faces. Gray stood out clearly as he was half naked, talking to Erza and Gajeel. Lucy stood not too far away from him, giggling as she conversed with Levy and Lisanna about what he guessed were the books they were holding.

"Hey... How 'bout I help you out?"

"You want to tell dirty pick up lines to Gray-sama?" Juvia growled.

"No no no no... I just want to make things interesting. If you can help me come up with these for Lucy, then I'll help you with Gray... And I'll also throw in something extra like a sneak peak of his new magazine spread I found not that long ago." I smirk, watching as she slowly began to beam. "Deal?"

"Deal!" Juvia returned my smirk and shook my hand. "So here's what you have to say—"

---

Juvia skipped outside gleefully, silently standing beside Gray. He of course noticed her but didn't really say anything as he was used to her staying by his side.

Natsu gave a small wink to her before stepping up beside Lucy and the two other girls. They didn't notice him at all since their faces were buried in their books.

Juvia and Natsu nodded at one another before turning to their targets to say their first line.

"Hey Lucy/Gray-Sama? Is there a mirror in your pants because I see myself in them." They said together, causing Lucy to drop her book and Gray to turn a bright shade of red.

Lucy snapped her head towards Natsu with her eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

Natsu smiled with amusement and picked up her book. "I didn't say anything."

Gray was still frozen still, making Juvia panic, thinking that her words were too powerful for whatever reason. "Gray-sama?"

Natsu gave a snort as he watched Gray finally snap into reality, scowling as he took Juvia by the back of her collar and dragging her inside.

That was quick... He thought to himself.

When he looked back at Lucy, she was already back to reading her book. So obviously she was going to be a tougher but to crack... He'll need to go all out on her with pick up lines.

"Did you sit in a pile of sugar because you've got a pretty sweet ass." Lucy said out of nowhere, making Natsu widen his eyes in shock.

After a moment, he smirked and leaned forward. "Do you live on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock."

Lucy blushed and hid her face behind her book. "Do you but your pants on sale? Because at my house they would be 100% off."

Everyone stared at the couple in amazement, never in their life thinking they would hear such lines come from their usually innocent mouths.

"Is this... Is this appropriate?" Erza asked as she covered Wendy's ears, Kinana did the same to Romeo as Bisca covered her daughter's ears as well.

"Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?" Natsu smirked as he pulled her book away from her face.

"If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" Lucy giggled, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Kissing is the language of love. So how about a conversation." The pinkette said softer now as he glanced down at the blondes lips.

"Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?" She hummed, not even noticing the excited looks of all get guild mates.

"I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." Natsu hummed and took a second to look at her before closing his eyes and pressing a heated kiss against Lucy's lips. "Looks like I failed." He whispered as he gazed at her.

Lucy soon smiled after catching her breath and attack Natsu into another kiss, knocking him backwards into a picnic table.

The guild cheered happily, not noticing Juvia walking outside with a dazed look in her eyes, though she did give a thumbs up in Natsu's direction. Gray exited soon after with lipstick covering his lips, though he never actually found out about that until Natsu pointed it out.

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Authors Note:

The pick up lines weren't as good as the ones from the first version but hey, I tried. And also I'm a hug fan of the Juvia and Natsu Brotp and I wanted to add it so yeah XD thanks for reading.

-Jason

*Not Proofread*