#8 Is it worth it?
Lucy and Natsu have been a married couple since two years. These last couple of months there were a lot of conflicts, neither side having time to spend with each other. They kind of drifted away. Their friends try to help them by making them remember their good times.
Enjoy :)
-
The door being closed made Lucy look up from her phone. She sat at the dinner table. Two plates with food were placed neatly on the table, along with glasses of wine.
"I'm sorry," the pink haired man began, holding up his hands. He promised he would be home early so they could finally spend some time together.
Their schedules were hectic, with the man, Natsu, usually working till midnight and Lucy working in the morning and afternoon.
They barely saw each other and they live in the same house. For Pete's sake, they sleep in the same bed. They've been married for two years already and it had never been this dull. They didn't make time for each other, when they saw each other in bed there was no real connection, both tired from work so they fell asleep quickly.
"You said you would be here by seven," Lucy began, looking at the clock. It was 8.30pm.
"My boss wouldn't let me go," Natsu responded, taking off his coat and shoes.
Lucy took a deep breath. Always the same. "Work this, work that. When do you even have time for me?" she said, beginning to eat her already cooled off dinner.
"I am really trying, Luce," he said, looking extremely apologetic. He quietly took a seat at the table, his heart clenching when he saw she made his favorite food.
"It looks amazing," he said, hoping to lighten up the mood.
She put her spoon down, looking him dead in the eye. "Trying is not enough," she said quietly. "We haven't spent time together lately. We've been caught up with life."
"I never see you in the morning either. Why are you blaming me for the lack of connection," Natsu said, grabbing a chicken wing.
"I let you sleep in because you work till midnight every time. Sleep is important, you know."
"Then stop victimizing," he began, raising his voice slightly, cramming his mouth with food. It tastes amazing, but he doubts he should be complimenting her kitchen skills right now.
Lucy's eyes widened. How dare he? She clenched her hand. "Victimizing?"
"'You're not making time for us','you're not trying hard enough'. I bet you say how horrible I am to your friends. Gosh that's why Erza got angry at me when I worked till 11pm one time. My work is very demanding but it pays off well if I do it right. If I make one honest mistake or make the boss mad I'm done for. So, sorry that I couldn't be here at 7pm, but I'm here now and that's all that should matter."
She gritted her teeth, eyeing her husband painfully. "You really don't mind the time we don't spend together, do you?"
"Why the hell do you think I don't?" he half shouted, standing up. "Of course I do mind, but I can't change it. This is our life. This is the real world and it doesn't make an exception for anyone."
"I don't want to live this life," Lucy said, also raising her voice. "I don't want to eat dinner alone every day. I don't want to walk through the house knowing damn well I'm alone. I shouldn't need to voice out my feelings of abandonment."
"Abandonment?" Natsu shouted, his eyes widening. "Gosh stop putting all the blame on me. You're never home either when I'm home. Always leaving before I wake up, always sleeping before I even come back home—"
"Like I said, sleep is important," she interrupted, glaring at him. He returned it right back, clenching his arms in the process.
"Well, fuck sleep," he said, his voice loud. "Fuck everything that is healthy. Fuck all the things that keep us from having time."
"And even when you're done early, you always hang out with Gray before you come back home." She looked at her plate, her stomach sinking with the realization that they're having a fight.
Fights are inevitable but they always hurt anyways.
"I'd rather loosen up from a busy day at work than come home knowing damn well every small thing could irritate me."
"Do I irritate you?" Lucy asked silently, her eyes sternly placed on his.
Natsu opened his mouth but no sound came out of it. He bit his lip, not answering her question.
"So I do," she concluded, standing up with her phone in her hand. "Whatever," she said eventually, grabbing her coat. "I know you're not perfect and neither am I, but I would have dropped work if you had just asked. If you had wanted to spend time with me. But I got the feeling you didn't. So I tried to make the effort. But whatever."
Natsu's heart broke. She was right. She was the one who at least made plans together. She got every right to get mad at him because he wasn't on time. He didn't have the right because he never asked.
"I'm gonna go to Erza and Mira. Use the house however you please. Not like you ever seemed to miss my presence anyways."
She slammed the door shut, making Natsu flinch at the harshness rolling off of the action.
He looked at her half-eaten plate, his eyes falling in regret. He didn't even try to stop her. He quietly ate the rest of his food along with Lucy's.
His phone rang. The screen lit up with a picture of Gray. Natsu's eyebrow twitched, directing his frustration at him.
He didn't even answer it, letting it ring until it stopped. He sighed. "Fuck."
He decided to take a shower, hoping it will clear his mind for the time being.
Meanwhile Lucy arrived at Mira's place, knowing Erza was with her.
"Hey, Lucy. What's up?" Mira said, eyebrows raising in concern. Lucy talked all day about finally getting some alone time with Natsu.
"He was an hour and a half late and didn't even mind," Lucy said, sighing.
"Oh my," Mira said and took her in, making some tea for her.
Erza sat next to her, setting up some tv show to lighten the mood a little bit. "We all know how important time is for you," she said softly.
"Apparently he doesn't," Lucy said, looking down.
"I'll tell you what," Mira said suddenly. "Why won't we go to the cinema and watch a movie. It's Saturday tomorrow, you should be free."
"I guess," Lucy answered, shrugging. "I just want him back before life caught up with us. The honeymoon phase was amazing."
"Relationships aren't always pretty like rainbows. There will be days where it's tough—"
"It's been tough for months. And I'm sure Natsu thinks I blame him all for it, but I'm to blame too."
"Besides that," Erza shushed her, "you have to decide whether it's worth it to fight through those tough days for him."
"I don't know," she said so softly almost no one heard her. With that tears built up in her eyes. "Why did it happen? We were so happy."
Mira looked at Erza, both sharing a knowing look. They have watched Natsu and Lucy since university to the moment they married and beyond. Their relationship is something from the books.
They were always the perfect example of how a relationship should be. Seeing them so lost right now is horrible.
Mira grabbed her hands tightly, making her look at her. "I want you to listen closely to me," she said sternly, coming close in her face, her eyes staring through Lucy's. "Love is measured by consistency, not intensity. Are y'all consistent in giving your love to the other or are there days where it looked like neither one did? Because at the end of the day, you're sharing a bed with your partner, someone you vowed to be with. If you can't rely on each other to end the day together, in peace, what's the damn point of being in love? Love is beautiful but it can make you so vulnerable. Is it worth it?"
Lucy only cried harder after hearing Mira talk so knowingly about love.
"Is it worth it?" Erza asked, her voice gentle.
***
"It isn't," Natsu said to Gray. "It's never enough."
Gray came to visit Natsu, knowing damn well there's something wrong if he ignored his call.
What he didn't expect was Natsu confessing his strained relationship with Lucy. It didn't take him by surprise, having heard bits of the story from Erza already, but he didn't think Natsu would talk about it so soon.
"Are you okay with your life right now is it enough to satisfy you?" Gray had asked, sitting down on the sofa.
Natsu shook his head and said, "It isn't. It's never enough."
"What is never enough?"
"This whole shit. Lucy's the best thing that overcame me and I would never be satisfied with this fraction of the beautiful relationship it could be."
"Then why are you acting like you don't care?"
Natsu's eyebrow twitched. "I do care."
"Then stop putting your work first," Gray said, glaring. "You don't need to get that promotion. You and Lucy earn enough to be financially stable."
"But I feel like I'm not enough if I can't buy her shit," Natsu confessed, looking down.
"She doesn't care about expensive things and neither should you. Cinema, tomorrow, 11am. Don't be late."
Natsu got a text from Lucy, his hands immediately opening the chat.
I'm gonna sleep with Erza. Don't wait for me she texted, as if everything was all right.
***
The next morning both Lucy and Natsu went to the cinema, not knowing their friends made a plan.
Lucy narrowed her eyes when she saw Natsu entering the same room where she and her friends should be. He was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and had a big bag of popcorn with him.
Now that she looks at it, there was nobody else in the room.
"What are you doing here?" she accused, sitting down on her assigned seat.
"Gray convinced me to go," he replied curtly as he looked for his seat. He raised his eyebrow when his designated seat was right next to Lucy's. "Is this a joke?" He looked around. "Why is no one here but us? The film starts in two minutes."
Lucy shrugged, her breath getting caught in her throat when Natsu sat down. "What's the film about anyways?"
"No idea." Natsu chuckled, looking at his phone for a clue.
Then the screen lit up. Natsu and Lucy swallowed and stared at the opening scene.
There was a cute scene of an anime they've watched.
Lucy raised her eyebrows. "Is there a movie out from Demon Slayer?"
"I guess," Natsu said and tilted his head.
What they certainly didn't expect were video's of Lucy and Natsu cooking together.
Their mouths fell open, many questions in their heads.
"What should we eat for dinner?" Lucy had asked on the screen. Natsu shrugged his shoulders and went to stand behind her, embracing her tightly while hurrying his face in her neck.
"As long as you make it, everything's fine."
Lucy gripped her chair tightly. This was a daily routine when Natsu wasn't consumed in his work.
Then some pictures appeared of them at Prom, Lucy wearing a beautiful red dress while Natsu stood out with his fire patterned suit.
"You looked beautiful there," Natsu whispered silently, not knowing what his boundaries with Lucy were at the moment.
Lucy stayed silent, wanting to cry. Then they were at the beach. They were teasing each other so much. From playfully pushing each other to Natsu lifting up Lucy and throwing her into the waters.
Then there were photos where they looked annoyed at each other. Lucy immediately remembered why. They couldn't decide their holiday destination. But not an hour later they were laughing loudly again, their presence much appreciated still.
Natsu clenched his hand tighter. His work wasn't worth it. Those times where amazing and he can still make more beautiful memories with Lucy. Then the proposing, a beautiful scenery of stars and light because of fireflies.
There was this love song playing the whole time, setting the ambiance.
Natsu looked at his wife, his eyes softening when her saw she was biting her lip. It was a habit of hers when she was annoyed or emotional. It was definitely the latter.
Natsu embraced her in a side hug, taking her by surprise. "I'm sorry," he said.
Then Lucy began crying, trying to cover her face but Natsu didn't let her. He looked at her as if she was everything he needed to stay alive. It was all she wanted of him.
"I have been caught up in my own work, emotions and insecurities," Natsu said, looking down ashamed. He grabbed Lucy and placed her on his lap.
"It wasn't worth almost losing you," he said and hugged her again.
"You only realize this now?" Lucy said and wiped her tears harshly. "It took some videos of us when we were happy to make you realize that we aren't having that spark lately?"
"I'm a dumbass. You literally said that in your vow," Natsu grumbled, looking away, missing the way Lucy chuckled.
"You are," she agreed. Her eyes widened when she saw tears falling from his eyes. She slowly wiped them, at first hesitantly but then more bravely.
She grabbed his cheeks tightly, making him look at her. "Better late than never," she reminded. "Let's start anew. We have a lot to work on, but you're worth it. We're worth it. It sucks that it took this to make you realize and not my inner turmoil that was definitely apparent. But okay. It's okay."
"We've missed a whole period of memories," Natsu said, a small sob leaving his mouth. He felt like the worst husband ever, and looking at Lucy's gentle smile made him feel worse.
"I tried so hard at my work that I lost sight of myself," he said again.
Lucy shushed him. "We all have our bad periods. I got mad quickly too."
"You had every right to," he whispered.
Then his phone went off. Mira was calling him. He answered hesitantly.
"Have you made up yet?" Mira asked.
Natsu looked at Lucy, waiting for assurance. He would do better. He will try harder. He will make it worth it. She nodded.
"We're getting there," he answered, making Lucy smile. And oh gosh, she looked so beautiful.
"That's good to hear. Remember, communication is key. I already told Lucy about it. But I want you to hear it too."
Natsu closed his mouth, patiently waiting for Mira to continue.
"ARE YOU LISTENING?" Erza thundered, probably somewhere behind Mira.
"Yes!" Natsu screamed immediately, almost having a heart attack.
Lucy giggled silently.
"Love shouldn't hurt. I hope you remembered all the good times with the video Levy made for you. It was Gray and Erza's idea. I don't know where it began to get bad, but we knew the moment Lucy came crying to us that you guys fucked up. Y'all are together on paper. Act like it. Act like those lovebirds you were in college. I hope you will realize that at the end of the day, you have each other. You and Lucy against the world, against the hardships. Not you against her."
Lucy and Natsu both began crying at her words. These past months were hard. It wasn't the first time Mira knew what to say. They heard her laugh softly. "Now, now, don't cry. I was just giving you advice based on my experiences. And don't forget, that when these big fights happen again, you'll have us to help you. We love you. Now make it up to each other."
"Thank you," Natsu said softly, quietly trying to wipe his eyes. The line ended.
He turned to Lucy again. "Thank you for giving me a second chance."
"Always."
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro