HUGE TRIGGER WARNING!
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Natsu sat on his bed, wide-eyed as he clenched his knees and trembled. He was thinking about the event that happened yesterday, something that made a huge impact on his point of view. Tears began to form in his eyes as he remembered the memory one more time.

~ Yesterday ~

Lucy was sitting impatiently at the bar, nervously drinking her coffee that waiter gave her. Her fingers tapped on the wooden table as she waited for certain Dragon Slayer to come in. She couldn't take it anymore, she had to tell him the truth.

After about 10 minutes Natsu walked inside of the bar. She flinched when she saw him, the thing she wanted to tell him was about to change his and hers friendship forever.

The two of them already dated two times, but broken up because Lucy didn't wanna have sex with him. He then dated Lisanna and there were rumors around the school that they did it (they broke up few days after), but that wasn't the thing Lucy wanted to discuss. She wanted to discuss the thing he and his (ex) best friend Loki did and what she did because of it..

"Hey Luce!" He greeted and walked in and gave her a peck on the cheek, only making her more irritated. She sighed and looked him in the eyes.

"Listen, Natsu. Can we go to my house? I'm not really comfortable talking about this here.." Her fingers played with the spoon that was mixing coffee and sugar together. Natsu nodded and they both headed to Lucy's house. Natsu wouldn't mind it anyway, he liked being in private as well.

~~

As they came to the house, Lucy sat at the couch and squished her palms together as she started getting anxious again. She took a deep breath and watched Natsu who sat beside her, she soon turned to face him. Determined look on her face.

"Here goes..." she took deep breath in and continued.

"Do you remember a p-prank you and Loki pulled on me few months back..?" She asked and bit her lower lip, she really hated the fact that she had to talk to Natsu about this, but Levy convinced her it was a good thing, and she would never doubt her best friend.

Natsu nodded his head as he remembered the awful prank they did to her. At that time, Loki and Lucy began hanging out and going out a lot. One night while the two of them were texting, he said that the awful thing had happened today. Of course, she wanted to know what it was and how she could help. He said that earlier that day when he was hanging out with a girl, Natsu joined them after some time and all her attention went from him to Natsu.

He began talking how he wanted to kill himself and that he wasn't good enough for anyone. He went as far to say he was going to harm himself, he even send Lucy pictures of him playing with a blade and his blooded fingers. At that time, and even now Lucy was very depressed and she harmed herself, so she feared that he was being serious and she knew all consequences that came with cutting, what if he got addicted, what if he cut too deep and didn't know how to wrap it up? She begged him that it was just a bad day and that everything would be fine tomorrow, but he didn't listen. He continued saying it wouldn't matter if he cut himself, he would kill himself tonight anyway. Lucy's heart split in two at that second.

It came 3 am (the time he said he was going to kill himself) and he stopped responding to her pleads and she grew worried out of her mind. She double texted him, she called him, but nothing happened. She began shaking and had a full blown panic attack. Her heart beated insanely and she was as scared as she was worried. She decided to text Natsu, she thought that he might know what to do, only thing he said was that Loki would never dare to do anything to himself, but that wasn't calming Lucy at all. She took Loki seriously and she didn't like the fact Natsu didn't.

She was crying and begged Loki to respond, she was seconds away from calling police. Right when she was about to press the call button, he responded and said he was fine. She felt relief wash over her, but she didn't stop crying.

He continued mentioning suicide and she ended up calling him. He picked up and she was so happy to hear his voice, he asked why she was crying, she said that she was so happy to hear him. Loki wasn't amused by her answer so he said that she didn't mean it. She began yelling that he was good enough and that she was there for him.

They ended up talking till 5 am, that was when both of them fell asleep. The next day they couldn't meet, but they texted the whole day. That was when Natsu sent her a message that broke her. That one single picture destroyed her and her heart. It was a picture of an arm that was covered in cuts, Natsu said that Loki sent him that this morning. He said that she was right and that he should've take her seriously. Lucy began trembling as she stared at the screen of her phone, drops of tears fell on it and another panic attack began. She blamed herself, that it was her fault for not noticing what he was doing at the time she was talking to him. She convinced herself that it was her fault, and her fault only.

Lucy got up from the floor and took the box in which was her blade. She raised the shorts that she was wearing and began slicing her thighs. She didn't stop, it hurt, but she didn't stop. This was her punishment and she deserved it. Lucy cut her both thighs, making one of the worst and deepest cuts she ever made. It's visible on her leg till this day. When she finished, there was a weird feeling inside of her, she felt... proud. She felt desire to do it again and again, but she didn't. Instead, she looked at her phone to see a message from Natsu. He said it wasn't her fault, but it was too late now.

That same day, Lucy went to meet up with Loki and as they were talking she glanced at his arm. There were no cuts on it, she didn't wanna tell him that Natsu sent her a picture or anything, so she pretended like nothing happened, but there was an existing feeling of regret. Later, when the two if them were on the bench, Natsu came. The two of them started talking to each other so Lucy couldn't hear them.

When they came back to her Natsu said something to her tat she'll never forget.

"There's no cuts or suicide, we were just screwing around with ya. Did we scare you?"

Those words. Those exact words.

Lucy's eyes widened as she looked at the two boys who were laughing. She felt like crying as anger and regret struck her. She wanted to rip their heads off, but at the same time she was glad that Loki didn't do anything to himself nor was planning to. Lucy got up and said their joke was not funny at all and left. That was the night she shed more tears than you could imagine. She stressed because of Loki, she took him seriously, she cried for him, she had a full panic attack because of him, she developed anxiety disorder because of him. All of that for a prank.

••

"Well, you're about to find out why I ran away that night and why I refused to have sex with you.." Lucy said and took a deep breath. She explained to him everything that had happened, and as the sugar at the end, she un-zipped her jeans and slowly pulled them down to reveal old scars, and the ones that are as old, but since they were so deep and they needed to be stitched, were red and bulging.

She didn't want to make him feel guilty, but she wanted to finally get this off of her chest since it was eating her alive. Natsu watched with wide eyes at her thighs. There was no reaction for a minute, that was when he snapped and tears began rolling down his face.

"L-L-Luce... y-you... b-because of us..?" He stuttered as Lucy nodded, avoiding eye-contact. Regret and sadness built up more in him every millisecond, he started clutching his chest as it burned with pain.

Guilt washed over Lucy as she saw what she made him feel. She was really sorry, he didn't need to find this out. For a second, she regretted even opening her mouth... Natsu moved closer to her and slowly wrapped his arms around her, getting her into a tight hug. He held onto her for dear life as he continued saying how sorry he was, and how stupid they were.

Lucy forgave him without hesitation and apologized for bringing this onto him.

~ Now~

Tears were rolling down Natsu's face, he regretted his actions and he realized how dangerous and stupid their prank was.

"Fucking asshole! ...Idiot! ...Jerk! ...Insensitive jackass!!" He yelled as he punched the door of his bedroom with every word, his regret soon turned into sadness... "I-I'm all of those... damn it, what have I done to her.. I can't even describe how sorry I am.." He finished as he dropped on his knees, final drop of tears dropping.

The regret never actually left him, but it had let him grow as a person. He and Lucy stayed in good terms, and he saw life and world around him with different eyes.

The end.
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Until next one shot, bye bye ❤️