11:53 PM

As I enter Ruffle-Shuffle Laundry, the old man immediately puts out his hand for an introduction. "You must be the lady I've heard so much about this evening. I'm Cooper's neighbor, Harry Poppins."

"Good evening, Mr. Poppins. It's nice to meet you. I'm Cyndi."

Mr. Poppins nods towards Cooper while clutching my hand between his two cold palms. "Are you going to be the one that gets this ogre out of the house so he can start living his life again?"

"Harry," Cooper scolds, his restless body movements showing signs of uneasiness--cheeks turning an adorable shade of scarlet.

Mr. Poppins, still holding my hand, grins with a boyish sparkle in his eyes. "If I wasn't so old, I'd fight you for Coop. That's a damn good catch sitting there."

"OK." Cooper stands up to break his meddling neighbor away from me. "Why don't you sit back down in your chair, Harry?"

Cooper helps Mr. Poppins waddle to a chair with an old carpet bag sitting at its base. The elderly man plops into his resting station for the evening and positions his oxygen tank so it's out of the way. Cooper gets comfortable on a bench next to the old man's chair where his sleeping daughter has curled up. Picking her Disney Princess blanket up off the floor, the single dad tucks his sleeping beauty into a cozy cocoon. After wiping away a few strands of hair that have fallen onto her face, Cooper pulls the girl's tiny pink painted fingers to his lips and kisses her hand.

"You have matching manicures," I point out.

Cooper chuckles. "I do the dad things, but keep up with the mom stuff, too. I don't want my Taylor Elizabeth to feel like she's missing out."

"That's sweet." I smile, amazed at how spot on Ginger Head Man is living up to his cookie-cute nickname.

"So you're going to stay with us until the New Year countdown, correct?" Mr. Poppins pipes in.

"Well." I hesitate. "I was technically just coming to get my things."

Meow. [sneeze] Meow, meow.

"Jiminy Christmas! What was that?" Mr. Poppins exclaims.

I pull the filthy kitten from the hood of my sweatshirt for a proper introduction.

"Well, I'll be damned." The lively neighbor admires the tiny life. "But why is the little bugger so damn dirty?"

"I just found him. He, or she, was lost in the middle of the street. Lost and frozen."

Mr. Poppins glances at his watch, then points to the complimentary sink in the corner of the Laundromat. "Quick! We need to get that critter cleaned up before midnight. Everyone deserves a fresh start on New Year's Eve. Even kittens. Hurry! There's not much time!"

Both Cooper and I jump like minions as if we're mindlessly fulfilling every wish of a respected mafia Godfather. I grab flea shampoo off the top of the bag of litter while Cooper turns on the sink to allow time for the running water to warm.

Standing shoulder to shoulder at the Laundromat's washbasin, we gently submerge the grimy ball of fur under the running water. The kitten wiggles and squirms in Cooper's hands as I squirt some shampoo on the feline's mangled coat.

"It's strong for something so small." Cooper laughs as he flips the kitten on its back to examine the tail region. "No wait. It's official! HE is strong for something so small."

"A little boy," I coo. "Wait. How can you tell it's a boy?" I examine the kitten's privates in a very un-private way. His nether region appears unconvincingly male or female.

"I'm a veterinarian. It's what I do." Cooper tilts his head and winks.

He's an animal lover, I squeal inwardly with delight.

Together we lather up the baby boy, soap suds drifting up into the air. I can feel Cooper's warmth against my arm and inside my heart. It feels surprisingly exhilarating. I suppose earlier in the evening I foolishly believed a guy like Cooper could never be my leading man—my Hollywood heartthrob. But I'm different now. Cooper is different. The world is different.

In the past I shied away from single fathers in fear I'd never be nothing more than a second place finisher in their lives. After all, it would be selfish of me to think otherwise. Kids should be the first priority. Yet, despite understanding a stepmother's position in the correct order of precedence, this demotion in relationship status and rank never appealed to me. I wanted to be the one who stood on the pedestal. I wanted to be the princess. But when a man already has a princess of his own, the only remaining opening in his life is a spot for the crusty old, bitter queen.

But Perspective Genie has performed a magic spell tonight, allowing me to see the world from an alternate point of view. I don't need someone to cast me as their leading lady or buy me roses to make me feel special. I can do those things myself. I just need someone to laugh with. To share my day with. To help make the world a better place with.

True love is an inside job. It's entirely in my hands. I've wasted my entire life searching for my soul mate so I can finally feel whole, but my soul mate was never something that needed to be found. My soul mate has always been by my side. My soul mate is me. I complete me. I'm whole the moment I consciously decide to love myself. Everything else in life is just toppings on a batch of already perfect nachos.

A small glob of sudsy bubbles lands on the tip of my schnoz. I turn towards Cooper and laugh, my arms elbow deep in wet kitten. Slowly he turns towards me and tenderly wipes the foam off my nose with his index finger. Time. Stands. Still.

I can hear the sounds of three noisemakers and joyful cheering in the distance. The long hand on the Ruffle-Shuffle clock is now pointing at the twelve. Fireworks are blasting. People are singing. Bell towers are chiming. The New Year is here.

I feel no fear in this moment. There is nothing within me that feels the need to run into the dark, cold night because I'm scared my true identity will be revealed. My true identity has already been revealed. I'm not perfect. I haven't become the person of my dreams, but I've done the best I could with the awareness I had. For this, I am proud. I can only be as miraculous as my thoughts will allow me be. But after tonight, with an awakened Genie at my side, I have a feeling I'm going to be pretty fucking amazing in the future—assuming I can keep my Evil Queen locked up in her tower on most days.

"Kiss her," Mr. Poppins whispers to Cooper. "A lady mustn't go unkissed when the clock strikes twelve."

Cooper takes my palm into his. He raises my fingers to his lips and gently kisses the top of my hand, just like he did with his daughter. So old fashioned. So perfect. I feel like I'm the cookie monster staring at the sweet treat of my dreams.

"Come here," Mr. Poppins demands, waving me over to his chair. "There's something I'd like to show you."

"Me?" I question.

"Yes, you," the old man sputters. "Now get over here."

Rubbing my hand where Cooper's kiss still lingers, I walk on cloud nine to Mr. Poppins's chair and watch as he digs through his ancient carpetbag. After a few moments of searching and the mumbling of curse words under his breath, he finally finds what he's looking for.

"Awe," Mr. Poppins exclaims. "There it is."

He pulls an old platinum necklace from his bag and dangles it from his fingers for me to see. There is a charm attached to the chain. It looks like a small crown with diamonds embedded at the tips.

I gasp. "It's beautiful." My hand slowly reaches out for the piece of jewelry to take a closer look.

"It belonged to my wife," Mr. Poppins explains. "She was a queen."

Holding the charm between my fingers, I see the words LEADING LADY engraved at the base of the crown. "She was your leading lady?"

"She wasn't MY leading lady," Mr. Poppins corrects. "She was A leading lady. That woman was too wonderful to belong to something as small as another person. She was so much bigger than that. She belonged to eternity. I was just the lucky bloke chosen to witness her life story."

Like a fist smashing through my chest and gripping my heart, I sigh. "That might be one of the sweetest descriptions of true love I've ever heard."

Mr. Poppins nods. "I want you to have it."

"This?" I clear my throat, touched by his gesture. "I can't possibly take this."

"But you must," Mr. Poppins insists. "I know she'd want someone like you to have it. You remind me of her. Her eyes. Her smile. Her gentle soul."

"But I can't possibly—"

"No," Mr. Poppins interrupts, folding my fingers around the charm. "If you don't take it, some scoundrel will just snatch it up at an estate sale and sell it on Ebay. You must believe me when I say my wife would truly want you to have it. Serendipity always had a soft spot for those who rescued animals in need."

"Who?" I question.

"Serendipity, my wife."

Rotating the charm between my fingers, I read the inscription on the back of the crown. SERENDIPITY GODMOTHER.

"She's real," I whisper softly, a rogue tear winding its way down my cheek.

"She is," Mr. Poppins verifies with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Everyone deserves a clean and fresh start on New Year's Eve."

Mr. Poppins motions for Cooper, now holding a wet kitten wrapped in one of his bath towels, to join us. "That goes for you, too, young man. You both are in need of fresh starts this year." Then after a dramatic pause, the old man adds, "So are you going to ask this woman out on a date, or do I have to do it for you?"

"Harrrrrrrrry!" Cooper and I scold in unison as our mortified expressions turn into smirks and laughter. 

After several minutes of playful banter between the three of us, there is calm. Aside from a ticking laundromat clock and distant sounds of noisemakers, a peacefulness fills the room. 

"To buy salsa or not to buy salsa?" Harry asks randomly, breaking the silence.

"Excuse me?" Cooper questions. 

"To buy salsa or not to buy salsa?" Harry repeats. "Which do you do?"

"Buy the salsa?" The sentence falls off Cooper's lips with hesitation and doubt.

"Yes," Harry agrees. "But why do you buy the salsa?"

"To make it taste better?" Cooper questions. 

"Buy why?" Harry asks in a cryptic tone. 

The room goes quiet. Cooper checks Harry's oxygen tank to make sure it's working properly. I rub Serendipity's necklace gently between my fingers. 

"Because nachos--I mean--life isn't meant to be bland or safe," I reply. "A well-lived life is spicy and sometimes a little too hot for comfort. But that's where the magic is--just outside of the comfort zone." 

A grin spreads across the width of Harry's face as he nods at the logic of my words.

"That makes sense," Cooper agrees. "We get to choose the level of spice and discomfort in our lives. Mild. Medium. Hot. We choose the level of magic." 

"But there needs to be a little bit of salsa to have a life worth living," Harry adds. "So always buy the salsa." 

"Mild salsa won't hurt me," Cooper announces under his breath, a face redder than a bowl of diced tomatoes. He walks over to where I'm standing, a wet kitten sleeping against his chest. "I know this great little Mexican place. Maybe we can share a plate of nachos sometime?" 

"I'd like that," I reply with a Cheshire cat grin. "I think some hot salsa is the perfect way to start this brand new year." 

*********NACHO BREAK*********

I'm honored. The world is full of a billion choices, and you chose to read this story. A "Thank You" just doesn't seem like enough, but I don't know how else to show my appreciation. You're amazing! MUAH!

For a glimpse at fun facts about the story NACHOS, chapter dedications and/or entry into the hidden fart scene (an unedited & deleted chapter)... CONTINUE READING!

Did you enjoy NACHOS? If so, NURSE McSEXY is an excellent little side dish to accompany your order. Based on a true story, NURSE McSEXY is a hilarious adventure involving an allergic reaction, Urgent Care and an extremely attractive male nurse. If you've ever felt a little uncomfortable sitting naked in the doctor's office wearing one of those ridiculous open gowns--then this story will be both relatable and hilarious.

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