Muling naipon ang mga kasama naming mag-aaral sa tabi ng gate, nahihintay sa mga ibang parating pa lang. Hindi ko mapigilan ang matuwa habang pinapanood ang mga ito. Hindi ko inasahang ganito kabilis ang pagdami ng mga dumadalo. Just looking at the excitement that marked their faces was enough to encourage anyone to continue on.

Makalipas ang ilan pang minuto, naipon na rin lahat ang mga studyante at nagsimula nang umusad ang grupo. I could only smile as I watched them; some were chatting with each other, others on their phones, and others just plain walking in pure anticipation for what's to come.

"Kuya?" Napalingon ako nang may marinig na boses sa aking tabi. A younger girl smiled, waving as she walked beside me along the two other girls.

"Ano 'yon, Ading?" Tanong ko.

The girl pursed her lips then began to speak, "Narinig ko po kay Ate Rhoe na magaling ka daw po sa Science? A-ano po, uhm ..." Tila ba nahihiyang yumuko ang dalaga.

I gazed down at her, a smile on my face as I waited for her to resume. "M-may debate po kasi kami about sa Origin of Everything sa next Thursday, Kuya. P-pwede po bang... uh, patulong?"

"Ah," I nodded in percipience, "What Narrative are assigned to stand for?"

"Creation Narrative po, Kuya,"

"I see." Ngumiti ako at tumango, "Sige, Ading. Show me your arguments later and we'll see how to improve them."

Lumawak ang ngiti ng dalaga, "T-thank you po, Kuya!" Nagngitian sila ng mga kasama niya at nauna nang maglakad.

"Talaga nga naman ang Apologist ah," Lumingon ako at nakita si Leah. "You were so impressive kanina."

I lowered my head and forced a chuckle, "Ah, by Grace alone, Leah,"

"No, for real," pagdidiin niya, "Kailan ka pa natutong magdeffend ng Christian Faith? Noon kapag naguusap tayo eh palagi mo akong natatalo sa mga naturalistic arguments mo."

Napa-isip ako nang marinig ang sambit niya. Kailan pa nga ba? All I know is that it was all drawn by hunger to know more of Him, and the more I did so, the more I found these things out.

"Hindi ko rin mapin-point eh." Nagbuga ako ng hangin, "All I know is that, the truth will always be revealed to those who truly seek."

"Wow," Sambit niya. Nagulat ang grupo nang makarinig ng sigaw mula sa harap. I squinted through the crowd, and as soon as I found out what the commotion is, my gaze widened. Akmang lalakad na sana ako nang makita si Ryan sa lumapit kay Grace, lifting her up as he clutched her bag to his shoulder.

"Gosh, angsweet naman ni Bro Ryan kay Grace." Rinig kong bulong ni Leah. "Angcute nila oh, they look like a couple with how Ryan held her bag."

I gazed down in discomfort, heaving as sigh as I thought of what I saw. Sweet indeed, I would've appreciated it though if not doing it to her.

"Gab?"

My gaze jolted, blinking back to my senses as I heard her speak, "Ah, ano 'yon?"

"Sabi ko okay ka lang ba?"

"Ah," I forced a smile, "Oo, okay lang." I returned my gaze downward, my eyes upon each step as we scaled the building. Was I?

Isa-isa nang umupo ang mga kabataan nang matapos ang worship. Leah ended it with a short prayer and after that, the group responded with a chorus of 'amens'.

Nakakapanibago nga lang dahil wala ang usual na High Praise. Kung sabagay, wala kasing gano'n sa kung saan nagchuchurch si Leah. I smiled and listened as Ma'am Johanna began to speak. There's nothing wrong with that. After all, it is in our differences that we realize how we need each other in the ministry.

"So, young people, it's a pleasure for me to reveal today na isa sainyo ang mag-sheshare sa Bible Study natin ngayon. She is a fellow classmate and I pray that by seeing her do so ay ma-challenge din kayo to pursue greater heights in the Spirit." Ngumiti si Ma'am at inilibot ang paningin, "Time will come na kayo din ay magagamit na ganito. Like I said noong unang session natin, this fellowship is aimed to equip you to become agents of Revival. So be prepared, okay?"

A wave of responses were heard nang matapos magsalita si Ma'am. Right after, she gave the floor to Grace and signaled her to speak. A nervous smile made its way to the lady's face.

"Hello, good afternoon sa ating lahat!" She spoke, a slight of tone of nervosity in her voice. Napangiti nalang ako at muling nakinig, excited for what she is to say.

"To be honest," her smile widened, "This is my first time to ever speak in an activity like this, but, as one had told me earlier," she anchored her gaze on me and smiled, "I am only a mouthpiece, and it is the Holy Spirit who will speak tonight. So this afternoon, let's allow Him to teach us, amen?"

The group responded in unison, all echoing 'amen' at her word. She nodded and opened her Bible.

"What I will be sharing this afternoon is quite simple, mga kapatid. It's a message that I'm sure you have at least once heard - and that is, Death to Self."

Malalim na katahimikan ang bumalot sa hall nang sabihin niya ito. The title alone spoke for itself - this was gonna be a heavy topic.

"If you open your Bibles to Mark, chapter 8, verse 34, Jesus says; 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me'." Bahagya niyang isinara ang Bibliya at isa-isang tinignan ang mga mag-aaral. "Being a Christian my whole life, I can safely say that I've heard this verse a lot. I've read it, heard it sang and heard it preached. Pero, mga kapatid, let me be honest enough to say ... that I've never truly understood it, and lived it - until now."

My gaze narrowed as she spoke. Hmm, really? Huminga siya ng malalim at muling nagsalita. "To be very honest, kahit ilang taon na akong believer noon, I found it hard to die to myself, to take up my cross, and even more so, to be crucified in it. I never had the strength to let my own selfish desires go. At naiintindihan kong hindi lang ako 'yon. Why? Because this generation - our generation - is a generation of self-centeredness."

Muli niyang binuksan ang kaniyang Bibliya at nagbasa mula rito, "Sabi sa Second Timothy, chapter 3, verse 1-2; 'This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. 2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,'."

She closed the Bible and took in a breath, "I don't know about you, mga kapatid, but this, this is very accurate with how the world is nowadays. Do you know the reason why many reject the gospel? I've once read that it's because the cross is offensive to the 'self'. It proclaims an end to all self-righteous achievement, all self-focused success, all self aggrandizing intellectualism, and all self- imposed worth. The gospel annihilates 'you' on the cross of Christ!"

I don't know about the others, but I felt as though with each word she spoke I felt an arrow to my heart. I've begun to get used to a rebuking pastor, thanks to Pastor Melchour, but hearing a woman speak with such power made it seem so new. Indeed, a beautiful woman can attract the eyes, but an anointed woman will draw the spirit.

"Mga kapatid, let me tell you right now of a fact that I had to learn the hard way; The gospel is not about self-help. It's not about you getting rich or always having a good time, it is about serving God no matter the cost. In a world that promotes self-centeredness, in a culture that lifts up selfish concerns, why must we as Christians strive to do the opposite? Why must we strive for death to the self?"

She paused, once more probing the circle of students with her gaze. "Because brethren, only when we die to ourself, can we begin to truly live for Christ."

I felt my chest heave at her word, the weight of it so heavy for neglect. Power ringed from her voice, and all the more I was brought to awe as I watched a lone tear escape her eye.

"Do you want to serve God? Do you really want to follow Jesus? Then put yourself to death - that is what 'carrying your cross' truly means. And I tell you, just like what Jesus said, he who loses his life for Me, will find it. Mga kapatid, I encourage all of us right now to full commitment. No more wishy-washy with our faith! Mapalad ang marami sa atin dito na malayang makapag-serve. Sa iba? Their service to God cost them their life - literally!

"So, brethren, my dear friends, I urge you. Let us take our walk with God seriously beginning today. No more self-centered life. Let your life be Jesus-centered, and then, only then will you truly find joy. I like how Charles Spurgeon puts it, he said; 'You will never glory in God, till first of all God has killed your glorying in yourself'.

"Do you want His Presence, kapatid? Do you want His power and anointing in your life? Do you want Him to use you mightily? Then surrender yourself. God can only resurrect that which has been crucified, God can only use that which has been surrendered, and the Holy Spirit can only fill that which has been emptied."

I lowered my head and picked the guitar up, now plucking gently in accordance to the flow of the message. The Holy Spirit was evident in the place, and the more He spoke through her, the more the people were moved. I saw students with tears from their eyes, others with their heads lowered as they began to pray.

"Once more, let me quote another woman of God whom God has used mightily. She said; 'The heavenly Father is not looking for golden vessels, He is not looking for silver vessels, He is looking for Yielded Vessels.' When God used me for the healing of Janice, it was not because of my efforts, or because I'm that superior spiritual person. No. It was solely because I surrendered - and despite my faulty and sinful life, I've allowed Him to take dominance in it, and to use it for His glory alone."

She smiled, "God is not looking at your ability, He is looking at your availability. The only question that matters now is that - are you willing to yield to His will even if it will cost you everything?"