"Good morning, mga kapatid!" Bati ni Pastor, his face beaming as he addressed the congregation. With him in sight, agad kong naalala noong Foundation Day, noong una kong narinig mula sakaniya ang mensahe patungkol sa Lukewarm Christianity. I couldn't help but feel excited. He is indeed a very gifted preacher. Ano naman kaya ang i-memensahe niya ngayon? I lowered my head and grabbed my Bible from the pew, opening it as I heard the pastor begin his message.

"Ang mensahe ko ngayong umagang ito ay matatagpuan natin sa libro ng Acts, kapitulo Dos, bersikulo uno hanggang kwatro,"

At his word I began to flip to the New Testament, searching for the book and verse as he began to read.

'On the day of Pentecost, all the believers were meeting together in one place. Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. Then, what looked like flames of tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other tongues* as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability'

I nodded along as I read each word, mind trying to process what the words meant. Narinig ko na itong ishinare ng isang missionary na dumalaw saamin noon. I clearly remembered the verse, but why couldn't I recall anything about the message?

Something epic seemed to have happened in the story, something I've always wondered about before. I took a closer look at the third verse. What exactly does tongues of fire mean?

"I will begin explaining this in a bit," panimula ni pastor, "But first let us go into a little background. What is this verse showing us? The simple answer to this question is; This is a passage showing the fulfillment of God's promise." He began to flip the pages of his Bible, "Bago ang pagbabalik ni Hesus sa langit matapos ang kaniyang pagkabuhay-muli, mayroon Siyang ipinangako sa mga disipulo Niya. Everyone turn with me sa Acts chapter 1, verse 4-5,"

"Jesus told his disciples this; do not leave Jerusalem until the Father sends you the Gift He has promised as I told you before. John baptized with water, but just in a few days you will be baptized by the Holy Spirit.

"So again as we can see, brethren, this event - this experience, is a promise from the Father. Today, theologians gave a name for this experience basing it from the verse we just read - The Baptism of the Holy Spirit.

I nodded in percipience. Hmm. Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I felt a sense of wonder as I processed the words. I've been a believer for as long as I can remember, but I must admit I never quite understood what this passage is describing.

"Ano nga ba ang Baptism of the Holy Spirit, mga kapatid? To define what happens in this passage allow me to quote Reuben A. Torrey. He said 'the baptism with the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of God coming upon a believer, taking possession of their faculties, and imparting to them gifts not naturally their own, but which qualify them for the service to which God has called them'. This is exactly what Acts chapter 1 verse 8 dictates;

'But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere - in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.'

Once again I pondered on the words. Power. Muli kong naalala ang mga nakaraang taon na pagsisilbi ko sa Panginoon. All those years, all those moments, I knew and fully believed that my God is powerful. But have I ever received such power like what the verse described?

"You see, brethren," I gazed back up at the altar, watching as the pastor continued to speak. "Jesus knew that without the enablement and infilling of the Holy Spirit, the disciples won't be able to do what they need to do to expand God's Kingdom. In a world where Roman rule is still very powerful, and Jewish oppositions for Jesus is rampant, God knew that in order for His people to succeed in spreading the gospel, they need an empowerment from on high,"

Inilibot niya ang paningin at nagsimulang maglakad-lakad sa altar habang nagpapaliwanag, "Mga kapatid, na-aalala niyo ba si Pedro? Ang nagpangako kay Hesus na hinding-hindi siya iiwan kahit sa kamatayan? Ano ang nangyari? Hindi ba't nang nagsimula ang pagpapahirap kay Hesus ay bigla siyang natalo ng takot? May tanong ako sa bawat isa sainyo," He paused in his steps and eyed each one of us.

"Nasubukan niyo na bang biguin ang Diyos? Ang ikahiya Siya sa harap ng ibang tao?"

I lowered my head in shame. Yes. So many times.

A wave of guilty laughter resounded in the church. Bakit nga kaya ganon? Gusto ko namang gawin ang mga utos niya, yung mga bulong niya sa puso ko na dapat kong gawin, pero pag gagawin ko na bigla naman akong mahihiya.

"Aminin natin! Lahat tayo ay nakaranas na nito. We were all once Peter! Professing that we love the Lord and that we can do anything for Him, but when the moment of testing comes, we cower away and surrender. Ito ay isang nakakakulongkot na reyalidad sa mundo nating mga Kristiyano. This is why! God knew the weakness of the human heart. This is why God promised empowerment in Acts1:8!"

I felt a surge of hope as I listened to the preacher's word, slowly igniting within me a desire that has long-been buried in a sea of repeated failures.

"I want you to listen very carefully here, brethren. After Peter had been baptized in the Spirit, right after the verse that we just read, we see something spectacular happen; Read with me from Acts 2:14;

'And Peter stepped forward with the eleven other apostles and shouted to the crowd, 'Listen carefully, all of you, fellow Jews and residents of Jerusalem! Make no mistake about this..."

He took a pause and eyed the congregation. "Do you see what happened here? Look again, brethren! The Peter who denied Jesus three times, the Peter who was afraid to confess he was with Jesus, the Peter who could not stand for what he believed, this same Peter stood up, his face in full view before people's from different cultures and preached!!!"

A wave of applause resounded in the building, words of praise echoing in the air as the people expressed their amazement. Moments passed of me just processing every word, heart beating with so much anticipation. This. This is exactly what I have been longing for. Unti-unti kong naramandaman ang pagbilis ng tibok ng aking puso. Kung posible kay Apostol Pedro, siguro naman, posible rin sa akin?

"And before some of you begin to question that perhaps this experience is only for the early Christians, I challenge you to read Mark chapter 16 verse 17 to 18,"

I immediately flipped a few pages back, searching for the second gospel in the New Testament. I narrowed my eyes,

And these signs shall follow them that believe; in my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; they shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt the; they shall lay their hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

A smile made its way to my lips. To them that believe. I respired in relief. These signs shall follow them that believe!

He continued to explain more about the experience, how it transforms one's life, how it deepens a believers relationship with God, how speaking in an unknown language is the initial evidence that one is baptized in the Spirit just like what the passage described, and little by little I found myself desire it even more.

Lord, Lord I don't want to be stuck here forever. In this level, in this rut. Panginoon, kung kaya mo silang palakasin, kung kaya mo silang gamitin, kaya mo rin itong gawin sa akin, diba? With each heave of breath I felt my heart get heavier with desire, so heavy I could almost feel this warmth engulf my very being.

I'm so tired of the cycle. I'm so sick of this fear dominating me. Ano na lamang isasagot ko sa Panginoon pagdating ng araw na makaharap ko Siya sa hukom? Na natakot ako? Na natakot akong mapahiya, natakot akong ma iwan, natakot akong mawalan ng kasama? Ano ba ang mas mahalaga sa akin? Sila ba? Sila ba ang namatay upang mapatawad ako sa mga kasalanan ko?

My hands curled to a fist, my grip so tight I could feel the pulse running through my veins. Panginoon, ayoko na. Ayoko na lagi akong ganito. I beg of You Jesus, if You can empower Peter, ma'am Johanna, this pastor speaking before us right now, then surely... surely You can empower me.

I clasped my lids forcibly.

Please empower me...

I lifted my gaze, listening once more as the Pastor's voice heightened.

"If you want to be used by God mightily, if you want to experience His fire, and to see things like those that have been written in the Bible, then come! Ina-anyayahan ko ang lahat dito na hindi pa nabautismohan ng Santo Spirito, come, come and experience the infilling of the Holy Spirit!"

Immediately, I felt this insatiable desire to stand. So with a deep breath, I rose to my feet, my vision now filled with people walking to the altar. I saw hands raised, men and women falling to their knees as they reached the front. Gradually, voices of desperation began to fill the building. A shiver ran down my spine, goosebumps forming as I sensed this powerful urging to move forward, and so I did. Sa pag yapak ko ay nagsimula na ring kumanta ang worship team, their angelic voices echoing through the speakers.

Pour out Your Spirit,
Pour out Your Spirit,
Pour out Your Spirit on me...

With every bit of strength I continued to walk to the front, knees trembling from this inexplicable awareness of the Presence of God. Tears continued to line my face, my vision blurred from the incessant cloud of liquid.

Spirit move! In this temple,
Spirit move! In my life,
Spirit move! I am calling,
Spirit move, I am here...

Finally, I took my place among the people, lowering my head as I wiped the tears from my eyes. Patuloy parin ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso ko. For a moment, I felt as though I could get lost into the crowd of people gathered in the altar. There were so many voices, so many tears, so many hands lifted, and yet, in the midst of all of the sounds, there was only one thing that my heart desired - Him. I began to lift my hands, praying as I felt each tear fall.

"Jesus.Jesus, I want You." I whispered. "Jesus I want more of You." I tried to keep the sobs in, silencing myself with each breath, but all the more did the desire seem to intensify. "Panginoon, ayoko na. Ayoko nang mabuhay sa takot. Ayoko nang mabuhay na alam kong hindi Kita napapasaya. Ayoko nang biguin Ka, oh Diyos," Little by little I felt my knees weaken, drawing me to the ground as each second ticked. "Empower me, Lord. Please, please-" My hand made its way to me chest, a fist forming as I poured my heart out. "Jesus please empower me." I took in a breath, no longer able to contain the writhing emotions within my soul. "Empower me!"

Once again the challenge ringed in my head. Lord, kung kaya Mong gawin sa buhay ng iba, kayang-kaya mo rin sa buhay ko. I continued to plead with the Lord, crying out with my hands lifted. Words and sobs mingled together as I did my very best to express the immense desire that filled my heart. Hindi ko na namalayan ang oras, nor did I notice how my voice seemed to compete with the heightened voices of the people around me, all pleading with the Lord for empowerment.

In the midst of this, I felt a hand on my head, and immediately I began to recognize the voice. Ma'am Johanna. Her voice was clear, pristine almost. But I couldn't quite understand a word coming from her mouth. All I knew is that it sounded like a sophisticated ancient language - otherworldly. In an instant, I began to remember the verse I read just earlier.

And they began to speak with other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance. - Acts 2:4

Then suddenly, as I continued to worship, a wave of warmth began to overwhelm my physical body, as though boiling hot water was being poured down from the hands of the woman before me. More tears slipped my eyes, my voice now trembling with every word.

Lord, Lord I'm not stopping. I am not stopping until I receive that promise. I am willing to give it all, oh God!

"In the Name of Jesus," I heard ma'am Johanna speak, pulling me to my feet as she stood. "Receive the infilling of the Holy Spirit!"

"Yes, Lord!" I cried, "I want You Lord! I want You Jesus! Jesus-"

Words slipped my mouth like an endless fountain, words of praise, words of thanksgiving, of desperation, until strangely, I felt my tongue run out of words, and unfamiliar sounds began to slip my lips. My heart jumped. Now coupled with the whimpers are words of a language I have never heard before. I felt the heat in my body increase, now all the more intensified as what seemed to be electric currents began surging my body like waves.

Unti-unti akong muling napaluhod, my mind couldn't understand the words, but a deep sense of knowing overwhelmed my heart. This is it. It was like nothing I have ever experienced before. I lifted my voice, now praising with a tongue endowed by the Holy Spirit.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag. Parang hindi sapat ang mga salita sa mundong ito upang ilarawan ang galak na nararamdaman ko ngayon. It was bliss - pure bliss. The tears of sorrow and envy began to cease, and tears of joy began to flow.

I have always thought I knew God before, but on this altar as I kneeled before Him, came a realization; This- this is not only knowing God. This is an encounter with Him.