Naka-ilang segundo rin siguro akong nakatayo, naghihintay habang prinoprocess ng isip ko ang sinabi ni Sir.

Huhu, Bakit siya pa!?

"Miss Ngatiyon?" With a snap I returned to my senses, forcing a smile as I looked at the teacher. May mga narinig akong tawa mula sa likod ko. Hay ano ba 'to!

Tumango ako at muling naglakad, this time towards the circle as I heard the Gong-players play. I took in a breath, watching as Gabriel began to dance. Ano ba 'yan, bakit anggaling niyang sumayaw?

I swallowed hard, lifting my hands as I danced to the gong's beat. Sige na, Grace! Just don't mind him! Imagine mo nalang nasa inyo ka, taz ang kasama mong sumayaw ay 'yung mga kapatid mo.

The Cordilleran gong - Beat of the Dinuya

With this thought, I pulled my lips to a smile and stretched my hand, imitating the soaring eagle as I danced. Narinig ko ang malakas na sigaw ni Rhoe, causing our other classmates to cheer with her. Napangiti nalang ako at ibinawing ang tingin sa partner ko as we circled each other.

Feeling ko tumalon yung puso ko nung nagtagpo yung mga mata namin. Gustohin ko man, tila ba hindi ko mabawi kung titig ko sakanya. Grabe, hayan nanaman yung titig niyang 'yan! His eyes were void of emotions, yet it mystifies me how his eyes seem to look right through my soul.

With much willpower, I lowered my gaze, releasing a breath as we did another round of the dance.

Ano na, gong-players? Wala na ba kayong planong tapusin itong sayaw na ito!? Again I took in a breath, summoning perseverance as we passed the mid-part of the dance.

Finally, after what seemed to be hours, the gongs began to cease, their harmony now replaced by the applaud of our classmates. Sa wakas!

"Wow!" Narinig kong sigaw ng teacher namin, "Good job Miss Ngatiyon, Mr. Daw-as! You dance very well together!"

I lifted my gaze towards Gabriel. He remained silent. Wala man lang bang planong sumagot ito?

"Ah-" I spoke up. "S-salamat po, Sir!"

Tila muli akong nakahinga nang ngumiti ang guro. "Well, anyways, since maganda naman ang naging team-up niyo, let's just push through with your pair sa performance this Friday, okay?"

Gabriel nodded briefly and began to take his place among the gong-players once more. Napabuntong-hininga nalang ako. Grabe naman ito. May word limit ba siya kada araw? Hindi man lang sumagot ng maayos!

Foundation Day

Sabay-sabay kaming umupo at the Principal's word, the crowd of students quieting down as we did. Inilibot ko ang paningin ko sa School Grounds. Ang-dami pala talaga namin. Sa Ifugao aabot lang yata seven hundred and buong student population, dito mukhang sa isang grade level ay aabot nang five hundred ang students.

"Wow, ang guwapo naman nung magpepreach!" Narinig kong kumento ni Rhoe sa tabi ko.

"Hoy," Nagsalita si Shane, isa rin naming kaklase. "'Wag ka nga malandi d'yan. May asawa na yan!" Saway niya.

A smirk formed on Rhoe's face, "Grabe ka naman. Inappreciate ko lang malandi na agad?" She rolled her eyes.

"Tumahimik ka at baka marinig ka ni Ma'am Johanna. Asawa niya yan eh!"

My brows lifted. Talaga?

"Ay oh!?" Sambit ni Rhoe na tila ba hindi maka paniwala.

"Oo, sinabi ni Ma'am sa amin sa room kanina." Paliwanag ni Shane, "Wala pa kasi kayo no'n eh. Si Ma'am Johanna kasi ang coordinator ng Service ngayon kaya yung asawa niya ininvite niya."

"Ah, ganon ba?" Tumatangong sagot ni Rhoe, "Ano kayang feeling ng pastor ang asawa? Napaka- boring siguro non."

Napatingin ako sakaniya. I couldn't pinpoint why, but the idea didn't seem boring to me at all. Sa katunayan, parang exciting nga yata ang ganon. How does it feel to have a pastor for a husband?

"O siya, tama na nga yan," Saway ko, "Kanina pa nagsasalita si Pastor oh di tayo nakikinig!"

Napatango nalang si Rhoe at ifinokus ang mata sa stage. Hmm, mabuti naman. With this, I gazed up on the stage as well, refocusing my hearing as I identified his voice.

"Ngayong umaga, mga bata, simple lang naman ang mensahe na gusto kong ibahagi sainyo." His voice echoed from the speakers. "Ngunit bago iyon, mayroon muna tayong salita na kailangang idefine - at ito ay ang salitang Lukewarm."

Napa-isip agad ako nang marinig ang sambit niya. Lukewarm. Saan ko na nga ba ulit narinig 'yon?

"Kung titignan natin sa Websters Dictionary; ang kahulugan ng salitang Lukewarm ay una - slightly warm, at ikalawa, na makikita natin sa kaniyang full definition - lacking conviction o 'Half-hearted'.

"This definition fits perfectly for what we are going to read in the Bible today. Kung may mga Bibliya kayo, physical man o digital, go with me to the book of Revelations 3: 15-16,"

Dali-dali kong inilabas ang phone at binuksan ang Bible App, reading along with him as he declared.

'I know all the things that you do, that you are neither hot or cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth.'

Natigilan ako nang matapos basahin ang verse. Hindi ko man lubos na maunawaan, bakit parang kumirot yung puso ko nang nabasa ito? Ano ba ang meaning ng maging lukewarm? At ano? He will spit the Lukewarm out of his mouth? I bit my lip in apprehension. Ibinalik ko sa stage ang paningin at muling nakinig.

"Students! Kung sa pagkaka-alam niyo ay sa tubig lang mayroong lukewarm, I'm here to inform you that even in Christianity, the lukewarm are present. These are the Christians who are 'Christians in name' only. Ano ang ibig sabihin non? These are the Christians who look holy and righteous during Sundays but live like the devil on Monday onwards. These are Christians who say they love God ..." Inilibot niya ang paningin niya sa buong auditorium, "But cannot show the world this 'love' they have for Him."

Almost immediately I remembered the events of the past few days. How I let my newfound friends speak of God in that way. How I stayed silent when I knew the truth. I felt a pang of guilt writhe within me.

"We live in a generation where people claim to know God, to love God, and serve God but then go on to live lives contrary to His commands!" His eyes sharpened. "Is this what it means to be a Christian?"

Napalunok nalang ako habang siya'y nagsasalita, pondering on every word that escaped his lips. Grabe.

"Let me tell you something, students. Malamang marami sainyo ay alam na ito. However I want you to understand this; Just because you know something does not automatically mean that you understand it." Binuksan niyang muli ang kanyang Bibliya at nagsimulang magbasa.

"It is said in the book of Romans chapter 5 verse 8; that God shows His love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Tignan niyo nang mabuti! While we were yet sinners! Sinners!" His voice filled the place like the sound of thunder, sending a wave of terror to those that heard.

"If you read Romans 6:23, you will see that the penalty of sin is death! Anyone who sins, that is, anyone who falls short of God's standard is faced with a dreadful ending - Eternal Death and punishment in hell.

"Pero tignan niyo ito; Habang tayo ay nasa kasalanan, habang tayo ay abala sa mga bagay na maka-mundo, habang tayo ay namumuhay na parang walang Diyos, pinili Niya parin na mahalin tayo. Pinili ng Diyos na mamatay para atin upang magkaroon tayo ng pagkakataon na mapatawad mula sa ating mga kasalanan at matamasa ang buhay na walang hanggan." Bahagya siyang huminto at muling inilibot ang tingin sa amin. "If God can love us this much, then why can't we?"

For a moment, I felt all strength drain from my being. His words seemed to echo in my mind, all the more emphasizing it's truth. Bakit nga ba? Bakit ganon?

"Students, today I will leave you a choice. First, continue to live in sin and distance from God. This leads to eternal damnation. Or, respond to His sacrifice with repentance and experience salvation." We saw him begin to walk to the side of the pulpit, his tall stature now in full view. "Today, God offers mercy. But in the day of judgement, there will no longer be any chances. Yes! God is love, but you must remember, He is also Just.

"Let me also speak to the students here who are already believers;" He walked a few more steps, now closer to the edge of the stage. "Believers, kung ang pananampalataya mo ay lulubog, lilitaw. Kung ang Kristiyanismong nasa isip mo ay pupunta ka lamang sa simbahan upang makapag-bawas ng kasalanan at pagkatapos ay babalik muli dito, kung ang Kristiyanismong nakasanayan mo ay 'yong walang hamon at pagsunod sa kung ano talaga ng kagustuhan ng Diyos, kung mas marami ka pang oras sa cellphone, sa kung ano-anong mga palabas at drama, kung mas na-aantig ka sa mga makamundong bagay kaysa sa mga bagay ng Diyos, at kung hindi mo kayang panindigan ang iyong pananampalataya, I'm going to tell you straight right now," He paused, his eyes probing each student, "You are a lukewarm Christian."

A silent gasp escaped my lips, my heart held to a halt as I heard his words. Angsakit. Not only because it now has become apparent that I am a lukewarm Christian, but more so because how many times exactly have I broken the heart of God by being like this? Naramdaman ko ang pagtulo ng isang butil ng luha sa aking pisngi.

Lord. Oh Lord. Is there mercy for me?

I wiped the tears that lined my cheeks, now lifting my gaze.

I beg of You, Lord. I don't want to be a lukewarm Christian. Please .. please change me.

"Let me leave you this, as we come to a close, Students. Remember this" Isa-isang nag-angat ng tingin ang mga mag-aaral.

"Christianity is not a play ground. It is a battleground. Yes, it is not an easy path, but let me guarantee you, it is always worth it."

He lifted his hands and pointed towards the crowd, "Are you willing to join in this battle?"