Book Name: Alien Girl;

Written by: SleepingRumble

Genre: Science Fiction

Judged by: the_witt

Cover:

Wow very cool pieces in this cover! So many little clues as to what is going on I think I saw a ship in the background that morphs into a spider web? Not sure but it gives just the right amount of creepiness! I feel like maybe the girl could use a bit more but I can see the ideas of the book from the start! Great job!

.9/1.00

Title: This is a very simple and straightforward title, which for me wouldn't get me to look at it. This is just a personal preference, and in no means meant as a slight to the title. It does portray the books ideas and brings forth a sense that we are meeting am alien girl, so maybe think on this a wee bit? Because from the description, she doesn't know for sure if she is an alien or not?

.7/1.00

Description:

There are so many different things going on in this description. I wanted it to be less. I really liked the poem to start, but when I was reading, I was reminded about those commercials mum would watch... "BUT WAIT! THERE"S MORE" I am not sure all this is truly needed to bring across who is in the story, nor what is about.

.5/1.00

Beginning:

The first few lines of the starting chapter are nice. We have the feeling this girl wants to prove herself. This is a good way to personalize your characters. However, as the story gets moving, things just start breaking down a little, not too much, just a little. There are some grammatical errors that made some sentences inconsistent in meaning. However, I think a good editing will get them straitened out. My biggest issue is with is the lack of consistent tense throughout the entire book. It seemed to be best when in Vanessa's POV. Not sure. But this story does have really good bones and I think that as you go back and edit and proof you'll see those tiny things and it will become a really good tale!

1.0/2.0

Your Total Score: 3.1 out of 5