Book: Partners [Path Unlocked] by DeliaMaguire6

Judge: Moon

For: Mystic Awards 2018

Cover is eye-catching but it lacks the author's name on it and the title, it fits great with plot. Plot in itself, takes time to be understood. The synopsis lays the basis of it but it only states what would be the AU is roles were reversed. What exactly happens, must be found out by reading. I would suggest you add more to spice up the reader's interest. Such as, give some hints regarding Connor and Hank's journey so the readers have some idea what they are getting into.

The hook of the story is mind blowing, creative to say the leat. I have no idea which fandom the book is based of, but I was still able to read and bring myself to enjoy to a minimum. So why did I not enjoy it completely? Well, the pace - it's long and dreading. I am sorry to say this but I didn't really find myself entertained until the 3rd chapter. Sadly, if someone is reading this just for pleasure than you can bet they will stop reading after the 1st chapter itself. In all honestly, I believe the 3rd chapter itself can be the 1st chapter of the book and the first 2 chapters can be merged into a prologue of sorts. That is, if you really want your readers to read that material. If you are okay with scrapping and editing, than I would definitely suggest for you to get rid of it. Not only it slows down the pace but it's quite confusing to read through. That could be another reason a reader may stop reading at that point. Simply remember, entertainment factors which are easily understood are a main key to capturing attention. Once you have done that, then go into whatever you want to give your readers. But first, get their attention. 

Unfortunately, more than the pace the grammar is something that ruined the reading experience. You command over the language is wonderful; however, executing it is a whole different story. Firstly, your paragraphs are way too long but they are not every typical para-stances. It's usually only 1-2 sentences making up your paragraph. That brings me to your sentence structure itself, they are long, long, and well, skimmed through. Which means, I either missed reading something that could be very important or something that could have made him laugh and enjoy the book. Neither of which we want, so cut them short. I will be honest, I am a queen of run-on sentences and if I am saying this than I hope you don't take it in the wrong way. Thirdly, you tenses shift along with over POV lapses. In comparisons to run-on sentences, these are minor errors which can be fixed with simple editing. 

I loved the idea behind the whole plot. Yes, its a fan-fiction so it is inspired by something but honestly, I wouldn't have known if this wasn't entered as this genre. Kudos for that! I hate reading fan-fictions, it's not something I easily connect with and more often, they seem uncreative and well, deja-vu of sorts. Since this is not a typical "Partners" story, it definitely rules out the cliche option. Yet, there is so much relatability in it. For example, Hank, even being an andriod, shows part emotions before remembering he is not a person and must maintain that professional monotone. Good job with describing such instances because otherwise, we wouldn't be able to connect with both of your main characters. Mainly, without it, Hank could easily be distanced into a side character. 

Speaking of characters, I would suggest you stick to either first or last name when narrating. 

For example: "Hank." Connor finally concluded with a solid nod . . . 

"Hanky Panky" Anderson eagerly declared, . . . 

These are sentences within the same paragraph, right after once another. If someone was to read this right now, they would imagine they are two different people. "Connor", "Anderson", "Detective Anderson" all of these can be used if they are in a dialogue, like someone is calling him. For narration purposes, choose one and stick with it. In doing so, it will also help eliminate the shifting POVs. 

Over all, "Partners" is a creative take on a partnership that beings in the professional world and slowly develops, giving the readers an insight into andriod world as if they were just as real as human beings. I command you for giving us a unique story to enjoy and good luck as you continue it forward.