Book: Is It Hot In Here... Or Is It Just You? 

Judge: Jay

For: Mystic Awards 2018

I liked the use of fire on the cover, but when I look at it feels more like a campfire, and fun rather than demonic and dangerous. I didn't understand the title used, I'm not sure if it was because I needed to read more chapters, but within the first six, there was no real link except for Hell. The synopsis was written well, and I could get a feel of what I was going to be reading, without giving too much away. 

I think for the first six chapters of the story was set nicely. I knew the direction of the book was going after the first few chapters and it was true to what I read in the synopsis. This is a quick read, I'm not sure if that was the authors goal, but it is a little quick. I think the first chapter starts out really strong because I really felt bad for the guy! 

Like any first draft, this needs to be edited. I think that the over use of comma's really impacted the flow of the story. I too, sometimes write how I talk. As a writer we go to get these ideas out of our head and just write what comes to mind. I would suggest, if you want to take your writing to the next level, to really go through and edit those run on sentences. 

I didn't really feel the transition from chapter to chapter. Yes, they build off one another but not in a way that is flowing, It's choppy. For example, in chapter 3, you start off the chapter saying that he isn't going to leave work early for this, "prank." It then moves to a conversation with Sam. After your chapter ended with their conversation, the next picks up with him going to the shop. I would like to know what made him decide to go. 

I really think this story has potential. I think with a little work this story could be something all us supernatural fans would enjoy. Ideally, I would like to see a little bit more detail to really tell the story of why he is so desperate. Yes, he loves this woman, but why? I think you have the bones for a really great, unique novel. 

The only character you really get to know in detail is your main character. I really felt for him in the first chapter, and I really liked the idea of him thinking the fortune cookie was a prank. I think really digging and showing how he started off really confident when he asked Sam out, to how he crumbled into that desperation would bring him to the next level.