Jumin sat idly at his seat in the lecture hall, listening to his professor talk about the stock market. He was interested, of course, but class was almost over and he had better things to do. Such as visit MC, who was in the hospital. After his surgery, he had been made to spend at least two more weeks out of school to stabilize his lungs again. Jumin knew from an accident with his father, the paparazzi, and an unexpected sidewalk curb, that the hospital was uncomfortable and dull. He hoped, for MC's sake, that the teenager would be let out soon to go home.

Saeran, Jumin, and the others were in school while MC's mother stayed with her son, on MC's orders, even though Saeran has protested quite a bit. Jumin was indifferent. He didn't know the tall, scruffy-haired teen very well, but he couldn't help but feel a small connection with him from both their shared 'condition' (even though MC's was removed) and how Jumin understood what MC's was going through before with Saeran. Jumin knew that heavy feeling in his gut of unrequited love- he felt it every time he saw Rika and V together.

Jumin packed his things quickly when the lecture ended, throwing on his coat and grabbing his bag before hurrying outside. V was waiting for him in the midst of the crowd, and while faces bustled around Jumin, the only soft features and pink lips that Jumin saw were those of his best friend. Jumin hiccupped when V's bright teal eyes caught his, but his kept his face calm as he met his friend, whose hands were shoved in the front pockets of his jeans. V's photography bag was slung over one shoulder.

"Let's go," Jumin murmured, and the two walked down the hallway together. Jumin steeled himself and looked surreptitiously at V's clothes. Light-wash jeans with a black turtleneck sweater that hugged his throat, along with a grey blazer over it and a beige scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. Jumin exhaled inaudibly and turned away. It was not the time to be admiring V's physique, no matter how good he looked in sweaters.

...

"Good afternoon," Jumin said in a low voice to Saeran as he walked into the hospital room where MC was living. Saeran was seated in a chair next to MC, holding an album of pictures of MC in his lap. Jumin guessed he was testing MC's memory, and while that was probably needed, Jumin couldn't help but recognize the heavy circles underneath Saeran's eyes. His red hair was messy and unkempt and his tan sweater (with maroon and white diamonds on it) was falling off his shoulders to reveal his pale collarbone and shoulders.

"Afternoon," Saeran replied, nodding greeting to Jumin, then V who entered after. Jumin switched his gaze to MC, who was propped up in bed by several pillows. He wore short-sleeved button-up pajamas with snowmen on them, despite the fact that it was only October. His hair was messy like Saeran's, but unlike his best friend, he looked well rested and calm. An IV was injected into his arm, dripping pain meds from a clear bag of liquid beside him on a metal stand, and a clip was secured around his index finger, linking to a heart-rate monitor on his other side. Jumin saw Saeran frequently glancing up at the monitor, watching the white line spike up and then fall in an even pattern.

V placed a hand on Jumin's shoulder, causing a startling shock to shoot down Jumin's spine, and turned to Saeran, "Saeran, why don't you go with Jumin to get some coffee. You look like you need it. Jumin, if Saeran's okay with it, will you call Driver Kim to take Saeran home? I got a call from Saeyoung earlier- he said you didn't come home last night and you skipped class this morning." V looked at Saeran with the kindest, sweetest disapproval. "Please, Saeran. MC will be alright for one night alone, won't you MC?" Jumin melted into the melody of V's voice and nodded to Saeran earnestly. The redhead looked conflicted, but then reluctantly stood up.

"MC, remember to call the nurse if you need anything. And I can be here anytime, if you need me, just call and I'll be here in five minutes. And make sure to keep looking at the pictures." He put the album down on the sheets over MC's fragile body and sighed lightly, then leaned in and pushed MC's hair back from his face before kissing him softly on the forehead. Jumin shivered. His heart thumped in his chest so loudly he could hear it in his head. He knew that if MC was still aware of the disease if he was still draught by the flower petals, he would turn red and lean into Saeran's lips, but the surgery had eliminated that route. Now, it was just a caring teenager kissing his best friend on the forehead. MC would never know anything more than that.

V took the place n the seat beside MC's bed and smiled encouragingly at MC. "Hello," Jumin heard him say as he led Saeran out of the room, closing the door behind them. The two made their way to the cafe in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward, Jumin just didn't happen to talk too much, and he wasn't that close with Saeran in the first place. To be frank, he felt as if he should have some sort of grudge against the Choi boy, because, although MC would never be able to, Jumin knew the truth of what happened. It wasn't really Saeran's fault, but in a way, it sort of was. Maybe he could've helped prevent MC's death scare, maybe he could've loved MC back. But it was too late.

Jumin forced himself to think about the consequences of his own actions. If he couldn't do anything to stop the infection, the disease, then he would wind up like MC too, and now that he knew that the subject's feelings were erased with the flower, he didn't know if he wanted to lose such a deep-running love for V. He didn't want to forget that one and only kiss, he didn't want to forget all the happy times he spent basking in V's attention and love. He wouldn't miss the constant pain, of course, of the unrequited love, but it was a part of him now. Loving V had a heavy price, but Jumin wasn't about to just give it up.

Saeran stopped at the coffee machine and pulled a styrofoam cup out of the stack, holding it under the machine to be filled up. Jumin watched Saeran fill his cup but realized too late when the coffee spilled over onto Saeran's hand which remained on the cup, and the teen jerked away, hissing in pain as he clutched his hand to his chest.

"Shit!" Saeran swore loudly, and some quiet patrons nearby glared at him. Saeran didn't seem to notice, but Jumin nodded apologetically at the passer-byes. Saeran shook his hand out in pain, and Jumin panicked when he saw the startings of tears edge into Saeran's eyes.

Jaehee, Jumin's friend who was a psych minor, had once told him that, considering he was 'emotionally constipated', any small negative action or effect could immediately send him into an uncontrollable state where he would 'grow hysterical'. Jumin had wanted to laugh, but now he knew that Saeran was about to break. They needed to be out of the public eye- now. Jumin grabbed Saeran by the elbow and dragged him into the bathroom, depositing Saeran by the sinks before checking that all the stalls were empty. He locked the door.

"What about my coffee?" Saeran wailed, and his eyes were puffing up with tears that streamed down his face. Jumin hushed him quietly and turned on the tap, taking Saeran's hand gently in his own and running cool water over the burn. Saeran blubbered that it hurt and Jumin rolled his eyes.

"Shh, Saeran listen to me..." Jumin had never been good at comforting people, especially moody, sleep-deprived teenagers. Jumin tried to rack his brain for one of Jaehee's 'calming methods' and landed on a possibly absurd but apparently helpful solution. "Saeran, can you count down from 5? Very slowly, I want you to count down from 5, and every time you do..." Jumin gulped, trying to remember how the exercise went, "Exhale! That's it, every time you count down, exhale really deeply." Saeran, sobbing, and half-collapsed against Jumin's side, breathed in broken heaves as he cried.

"Five," he said loudly, then exaggeratedly blew out from his mouth. His breath smelled like smoke and mint. Jumin patted his back awkwardly.

"Four... Jumin this isn't- WORKING!" Saeran was shaking, but Jumin kept calm, breathing in and out loudly to encourage his friend.

Jumin lowered his voice deeper, and it rumbled in his chest when he talked. Jaehee had said that low tones were relaxing and 'grounding'. "Keep going, Saeran, you're doing fine."

"Three." Saeran blew his nose, then looked up at Jumin pathetically, "He's not the same, Jumin! He's nice and confident! He's not my MC!"

Jumin fought hard to keep from asking further, "What comes after three?"

Saeran sighed, he wasn't as hysterical, and his breathing was slowing down, even though he was still crying. "Two." He breathed, then looked at his shoes. "He started getting weird after the game night, but Yoosung and I weren't even dating then! I thought it was just because we couldn't hook up anymore, but I think it was more than that, and I don't know what!"

Jumin blinked. Hooking up? Wait... Saeran and MC were sleeping together?! His brain worked into overdrive, but he managed to say quietly, "And last...?"

"One." Saeran said, burying his face in his hands. "One, one, one." His crying had returned to normal, and Jumin felt embarrassed watching him cry, so he turned away slightly.

"I just... I don't understand anything! Why was there a fucking flower inside of MC? Why were flowers coming out of him? Why's he so strange now?" Jumin felt the teenager getting on his nerves. He'd never seen Saeran like this; he stayed quiet. The answers he had were not answers that Saeran wanted to hear. He discreetly texted Driver Kim to come pick Saeran up. Even more, he felt petals in the back of this throat, and he'd have to get rid of them soon or he knew he'd throw up.

Saeran was still going on and on about MC, how weird he was acting, how strangely friendly he was with Yoosung, how he had forgotten some of their inside jokes. Jumin's eye twitched. "Jumin, why aren't you saying anything?"

Jumin suddenly whirled and grabbed Saeran by the shoulders. His hands were shaking, "Use your eyes, you idiot!" he yelled, then pulled back and put his hand to his mouth, as if holding in more words, or maybe the petals.

"You're not stupid, Saeran. Figure it out." Jumin unlocked the bathroom door and stormed out, gagging on soft petals and not looking back.

...

Jumin stayed in his dorm room the next day and didn't go to any of his classes. V had called him after he had left the hospital, but Jumin hadn't picked up. He felt guilty for yelling at Saeran, but the kid was having a mental breakdown in a hospital bathroom. Jumin didn't know how someone could be so blind. Jaehee came over after her classes and brought red wine, a cheaper kind, but Jumin drank nearly half the bottle anyways. Jaehee made jokes about how his drunk driving would be just as atrocious as his sober driving, but, as much as Jumin appreciated Jaehee's company, he couldn't bring himself to laugh with her. She left just after one in the afternoon.

The pacing started at 3:17. Jumin walked back and forth, back and forth, and the flower petals were more common today. Soon, his floor was littered with them, and he hoped his roommate wouldn't notice the trashcan when Jumin eventually swept them all up and dumped them in the wastebasket. His mind was whirling with solutions to save himself, but all the while, he was constantly sidetracked by a pain in his shoulder, an aching bruise-y feel that wasn't going away. Jumin figured he might have slept on it wrong, but its pain wore at his patience too.

At 3:43, Jumin was bored again. Half of him was wishing that he had gone to his 3:30 class, but the other half of him was spewing pink peonies into the toilet, and the pain in his shoulder was getting worse by the minute. Jumin finally decided it was a good idea to go out for a walk, but just as he was heading out of the dormitory building, a familiar figure with teal hair was walking in from the parking lot.

Shit.

"Jumin."

Double shit.

"Can we talk for a second?"

Triple shit.

"Saeran told me that you were pretty upset yesterday... what happened?"

So many shits.

Jumin brushed the question off with a shrug, "I'm fine, Jihyun. I'm just a little stressed out with work from the company. Father is forcing more and more paperwork on me." The lie slipped out of Jumin's lips easily, and it was believable. There were three things that V was bad at: Giving directions, lying, and telling when someone was lying. Jumin had easily slipped through V's concern, he could tell by the way V's eyes changed back to friendly understanding.

"That must be hard, Jumin. Tell your father to lay off a bit. I mean, you are in college." Jihyun smiled, but he knew that Chairman Han would never 'lay off'. He might be constantly switching his girlfriend, but he knew how to run his own business, and that meant piling all of his work onto his heir, his son. As used to the pressure as Jumin was, the constant stress from the flower petals was proving to get in his way more than it should.

Jumin nodded, "I'll be sure to tell him that." They both knew that, even if Jumin brought up his heavy workload, the Chairman would only double the amount. Jumin was fine with the amount he was already being given, he didn't need more.

V held out his hand and Jumin took it, a friendly gesture that they did that wasn't quite a handshake but not a high-five either. "My exhibit is on Thursday. Wanna come?" Jumin nodded, excited for his friend. "Rika will come too." It wasn't a warning, just a statement, and a brief flash of emotion crossed V's eyes before he smiled and pulled away. "See you around!" Jumin waved him off and opened his phone, pressing speed dial.

"Driver Kim? Yes, I need to be picked up at the dorms. Thank you, sir."

...

Saeyoung and Saeran's house was large and country-styled, and as Jumin stepped up to the wrap-around porch, he had to give the twins credit for owning such a nice place. He was about to knock when the door opened to Saeyoung, wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. Jumin blinked, surprised.

"Jumin. Long time no see," Saeyoung said, then pointed up into the ceiling corner of the porch, and Jumin squinted when he recognized the CCTV camera. When Jumin turned back to Saeyoung, the freshman (in college) was smiling broadly. "Come in."

The house, despite its flawless exterior, was messy inside. The front door led into the living room, where the couch was dominated by computer equipment, empty chip bags and soda cans, and dirty laundry.

The laptop screen that was placed haphazardly on the ottoman had a black screen with white code writing scrawled half-way down, and Saeyoung immediately flopped down on the couch to resume his hacking, leaving Jumin to stand awkwardly beside him, taking in the messy living room, and the kitchen that was visible in the next room.

"Oh, yeah, if you're here to see Saeran, he's in his room being moody. Upstairs." Jumin nodded thanks and shuffled to the staircase, casting a backward glance at Saeyoung on the couch, his shirt riding up as he slouched, sipping a can of Dr. Pepper, which was the only kind of soda the twins drank. The whole house smelled like the fizzy drink, mixed with the strong aroma of honey, and it was actually pretty nice. It smelled like how a home should smell, if that made sense.

Jumin climbed the stairs slowly, looking at the sparse peppering of framed photographs on the wall. There was one of Saeyoung and Saeran as toddlers, hugging, but it had water damage and had crease marks, as if someone had carried it in their wallet and often re-folded it. Others were more new, such as one from the twin's 16th birthday party, which Jumin had been present at. Another was Saeran looking slightly annoyed as he stood in a pile of leaves, Saeyoung at his feet, flopping around in the giant pile. An especially large on hung at the top of the staircase, a close up with MC's face smooshed between the two twins' as the three of them grinned to the camera. It was one of the only pictures where Saeran looked genuinely happy. Jumin smiled to himself.

The upstairs hallway was short, with four, easily-distinguishable doors. The first, to Jumin's left, was a guest room, which, unlike the rest of the house, was sparkling clean, with crisp white sheets and pale blue curtains. It looked unused. Next to it was the bathroom, door ajar, with tile flooring.

Saeyoung and Saeran's door could be told apart at a glance. Saeyoung's was painted solid red, with yellow spray paint that read "707". A homemade sign hung on the doorknob, "HACKER IS OUT!". The door next to it, Saeran's, was calmer. Painted a light mint green, it stood slightly open.

Jumin paused, then knocked softly on the door. A faint voice from inside: "Come in." Jumin couldn't help but feel nervous. He stepped inside.

Saeran's room was elegant and quiet, and as Jumin had never actually been in it before, he was impressed as how clean it was. On the wall, several professional photos of the moon phases  lined up, square and beautiful. A dresser stood against the wall, books propped on top, and a floor-length mirror hung next to it. On the other wall, a small table was adorned with succulents- cacti and aloe plants and baby palms. They hung from the ceiling too, nets of thick rope that cradled glass balls full of dirt, green plants poking up from the soil.

On another note, Jumin wasn't even sure why he was here. He felt an obligation to apologize, he supposed, for lashing out at Saeran, but he also felt like a lot of what he said was true. MC wasn't hard to read, even Jumin, who was incredibly dense anyways, could tell that the teenager liked Saeran. Jumin wondered if anyone else could tell.

Saeran was sitting cross-legged on his bed, leaning against the headboard, with a book in his lap. Soft music, maybe Khalid, was playing from a speaker, and Saeran looked up upon Jumin's heavy footfalls. He looked slightly surprised.

"Jumin." His voice was indifferent. His hair was messy, red strands falling in front of his face, and he wore a tank top that exposed his toned biceps.

Jumin walked towards him. "I wanted to... apologize. My behavior yesterday was uncalled for. I was insensitive to your feelings, I'm sure MC's state must be shocking to you." Saeran nodded slightly, and closed his book. He drew his knees up to his chest.

"I just want to know what you meant. What am I not seeing?"

Jumin chose his words carefully, regarding Saeran, regulating his expressions. "I just think that there are some things that you were confused about, and I think you know the answers already, you just can't bring yourself to admit them. And if that's not the case, you need to look a bit harder at your issues and think about their causes." Vague and slow, Jumin congratulated himself internally.

Saeran was quiet for a few seconds, then looked to Jumin. "Am I crazy or something?" Jumin smiled slightly, shaking his head.

"No. Why would you say that?"

"So the flowers coming out of MC were real?"

Jumin flinched. What was he supposed to say? He wasn't supposed to tell Saeran the truth, right? How could he explain the flowers then? He didn't want to lie to Saeran, MC was his best friend. But wouldn't it ruin their relationship? Even though MC didn't remember ever loving Saeran in a romantic way, it would alter the way Saeran saw him. But who was Jumin to keep a secret like this to himself?

"Saeran... what I'm about to tell you, you must not tell a single other person. I mean it, you cannot tell anyone, especially MC." Saeran's eyes lit up in curiosity.

"I won't." He motioned for Jumin to sit down on the bed.

"What you saw with MC was real. I don't know how it's real, I don't know how it works, but I know how it happened..." Jumin looked pained. "MC suffered from unrequited love, and somehow, that caused him to developed his 'disease'."

"Unrequited love? You mean, he loved someone who didn't love him back? Do you know who?" Jumin clenched his teeth. He shouldn't be telling Saeran this-

"You." Saeran froze. His eyes went wide as pieces clicked into place. Jumin watched as his face crumpled, his lower lip trembling.

"Oh, MC." Saeran buried his face in his hands, his nails digging into his scalp. Jumin watched helplessly as an internal war started in Saeran's heart, as his emotions fought.

"But... after his surgery, I've come to believe that MC no longer loves you that way. When he got the flower removed, it seems his feelings were removed too. He doesn't remember loving you, or any memories where his emotions towards you were particularly strong." Saeran was shaking, but not crying yet.

"That's why he's been so weird... Oh." Jumin nodded empathetically. "But..." Saeran lifted his head from his hands, "How do you know this?"

Jumin stiffened. "I can't tell you that."

"Do you have it too?"

Jumin didn't answer. He pressed his lips into a tight line.

"It's okay, I won't press... thank you, Jumin, for telling me. I- I need to be alone right now."

Jumin nodded silently, and stood back. He put a hand on Saeran's shoulder, and his skin was warm and damp. Jumin left the room, walked down the stairs, and left the house in silence, wondering if he had done the right thing.

...

That night, while his roommate was out partying, Jumin lay curled on the floor, clutching his palm to his chest, as he felt as though his hand was being burned. The pain in his shoulder had faded a bit, but V's handshake earlier had plunged Jumin into white-hot pain. His tears fell onto the tile floor. "V..." The name hurt his chest to say, but he said it anyways.

The reason why MC was effected so quickly was because he touched Saeran every week in ways that Jumin could never even hope to imagine between V and himself. MC was used to the touch, his love over Saeran was renewed every time, and he grew immune to the pain. But Jumin... physical contact of any kind was rare for him. And now, as he came closer and closer to solving the disease he was plagued with, V's touch, his hand, was like a branding iron, constantly reminding Jumin of his place, his tier below Rika that he would never rise up to fill.

V was a catastrophic masterpiece that burned Jumin's heart with every word, every touch, and Jumin didn't know how long he would be able to hold on. Soon, he was reaching for the wine underneath his bed, and he drank straight from the bottle. The alcohol, sour and pungent, numbed the pain of his hand, and he was halfway done with it when he finally told himself to stop.

Jumin, drunk, alone, and in pain, fell asleep on the floor of his dorm room, his heart smashed in his chest, slowly bleeding out.