Chapter 05: 1/1 INNOCENCE

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"Just when you think...
everything is okay... the bomb drops."

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"I wish...I can see your face."

-V.
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JENNIE POV.
I used to be a mess. An emotional, complicated mess. Before going to sleep and after waking up, I like to think about the previous recent events in my life. That helps me to slightly fix myself. Slowly, i try to become a better person.

And now, it's 6:46 in the morning and i woke up because of the dream i had.

V.

Finding out what i really are. He caught me in the act. My hands are covered with blood as his cane drops on the ground. I don't want to see what his reaction is. I close my eyes tightly and run away. I figured out why i dream about that: it's what troubling me since last night.

The scent of blood on my hands. I get my laptop and go to Loogle. I slowly type out the words i wanna search.

How to remove the smell of blood from your hands.

And i press enter. I look for the ingredient that is most easy to find and carry. Of course, i am not that dumb enough to realize why V looked at my hand like that. When me and him are talking, he keeps looking down at my hands and i training of being vigilant and observant showed off. I knew he smelled the blood on my hand.

"Hmm, they say that i should wash my hand with lots of soap just use vinegar or any other things that has strong smell."

'Fart, maybe?'

"Vinegar...? Wouldn't that make things more questionable? Why would my hands suddenly reek of vinegar?"

'But more importantly, what did he think when he smelled my hand? I'm sure he won't jump into conclusions yet.'

"Should i say that i'm a nurse? That would be more believable, right?" I nod to myself.

'I'll just say that or bring it up so he won't get any weird thoughts like me being a murderer, ehehe...'

"I guess i don't need to worry about my hand smelling like blood. I'm a nurse after all." I sigh in relief, as if a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I set my laptop to my side and lie down on my bed comfortably my mind brings me to V. I can't help but to wonder how he lives back then.

He said he's not blind when he's young and i wonder where his parents or siblings are.

'Hanging out with him is so fun. I feel like i'm in a different world when i'm with him. He makes it so easy to open up to him and joke around with him. I wonder why he doesn't have any friends when he has such a lovely personality. But i wonder who that girl is, the girl that he's always waiting for.'

I exhale loudly.

'That girl is lucky to have V waiting for her patiently i wonder where she is. Maybe jihoon can help me? I mean he knows a lot about computer and stuff. Maybe he can search where she is?'

I feel proud for myself .

'Ah, i'm such a genius. All i need is to ask her name and we can finally know where she is. I bet V will be happy about this.'

I grin to myself. I look at my clock. V usually comes here around seven in the morning. I decided to take bath and make a coffee for me and sweet one for V and for him on the swing.

I saw V walking in the distance and without me knowing, a smile is drawn on my face. I feel giddly and excited at the same time. When he's few meters away from me, he stops walking. The aroma of my coffee probably reached him, making him know that i am nearby.

A rectangular smile slowly forms on his lips he started to walk faster towards me. I stand up from the swing, getting ready to greet him. When he's already few meters away from me, he began to talk.

"This is nice..." He said with a smile, his eyes forming two crescents.

"Here's your coffee, Sir." I said playfully and hand him his coffee. He accepts it with a bow and giggles.

"Did you wait here for me?" She asked.

"Hmmm, i dunno." I shrug.

"I just happen to made two coffees and sit here on the swing, having no intention to wait for someone and give his coffee." I said.

"Aw, thank you, friend—oh!" His eyes widens like he remebers something important.

"I finally know what wisteria means~" he said smugly. He folds his arms amd wriggles his eyesbrows.

"Oh~ what is it then?"

"It actually means a lot." He puts his hand on his chin as if remembering what it means.

"But, wait. How did you manage to learn the meaning of it?" I asked confusion.

"Oh! Well, there's a flower shop near my place so I asked the worker there about wisteria." His eys become distant and his expression turns serious.

"I guess wisteria does't suit you."

"Hm? How? All that i know about wisteria is that it symbolizes love, grace, and bliss..."

He shook his head.

"There's more meaning about wisteria." He grins.

"Wisteria symbolizes endurance and patience..." He continues.

"In spite of rejection and sorrow which wisteria said to also express, its strong vine is able to live and even flourish throught mistreatment and harsh conditons." He flashes a kind smile at me.

"Unlike me, you are so strong and positive. I'm so close on giving up, but don't even think about that. Instead you want to find hope... i don't know much about your life, but remembering what you said to me on the rooftop, you suffered a lot but you can still stand up on your own." He took a deep breath and continues.

"Without anyone by your side...right?" I fell silent. I began to think about his words.

"Well..." I pout my lips.

"I've read a lot of books, and some of those books inspire me a lot about life. I believe i can overcome my miserable past and look forward for a wonderful future...I just need hope. I know that full of idiocy, that's because i'm an idiot." I drink my coffee calmy.

"And those people who are, well by my side...? They are the one reason why i'm strong."

'This hate and fear that i feel about them, that's the reason why i want to become strong to face them.'

I exhale loudly.

"ANYWAY... Why so serious? Come on, let's stop the drama." I poke his side and he giggles. "You know, i think i can help you know where the girl is..."

"The girl? Oh, you mean, Yuna?" I looked at him.

"That's her name?" She nod her head.

"Yes, Kim Yuna. But, how will you find her?" I took a sip on coffee before i continue.

"I have a...friends who is good at searching peolpe. Maybe we can try to find her?"

"Really?" His face perks up, his eyes are wide open.

"Your friend can do that? You will help me find her?" He again ask with his excited and hopeful voice.

"Yeah. You look so pathetic waiting out here." I said jokingly. He grabs my hands tightly, his eyes slightly tearing.

"Thank you, jennie." I can feel his excitement and happiness. I can feel my heart swell up as i look at him. He just look so happy.

"Don't thank me yet. We haven't her so calm down."

"Still..." He sighs, a contended sigh.

"I can't...I can't believe that you're helping me. I know we've only met few days ago and yet..." He smiles genuinely at me; his eyed are getting glassy from his tears.

'This is how happy he is to see kim yuna again.'

That thought is filled with amazement and laced with a bit of bitterness.

'But what will happen after he found her? He wouldn't need me anymore since he already found someone he's been looking for? I am going to be alone again?'

I shake my head to stop thoughts.

"I'll talk to him later. Anyway..." I clear my throat.

I've been meaning to ask him...

"Hey, do you wanna...hang out? I mean i know we're already 'out' but you know what i mean?" He raise his eyebrows at me.

"Are you asking me out?"

"Yeah, are you deaf now? You know, let's hang out like how friends does. I'm so tired of looking at this old swing. Let's change the scenery even though you can't see where we're going." He snickers.

"You're so brutally honest sometimes." I shrug.

"So, where are we gonna go, my date?" He gives me a teasing look as he laughs like broken robot.

"Gosh, it's just hanging out like normal friends does. It's not a date or anything."

"If you say so." He grins teasing at me and winks. I can feel my cheeks heat up a little due to his teasing.

"So...where do friends hang out?" I shrug.

"How would i know?" It's his turn to shrug.

"I'm gonna search first." He laughs whole-heartedly.

"So you're asking me out. But you don't know where we're gonna go first?" I sigh.

"What's wrong with that?" I said as i fish out my phone. He shook his head; his eyes are full of amusement.

"Nothing..."

That's cute, he whispered under his breath, but i failed to hear it. I went to Loogle.

'Mah friend, Loogle is so reliable...'

"It says here to have a movie marathon, go to the park and have a picnic, play baseball, go fishing, go camping... boring should i search for more?"

"I have an idea." He snaps his fingers.

"Let's ride a bike!" I looked at him confusion.

"A bike? Do you know how to ride a bike?" She smiled.

"Do you?"

"Of course." He grins.

"That's what friends are for." He wriggles his eyesbrows and i immediately now what that means. I scoff in disbelief.

"And then let's go to, here..." he fishes something from his pocket. He gives me paper. I grab the paper and unfold it.

My eyes widen slightly as i look the magnificent drawing there.

"Do you know where that is?"

"Yeah." I muttered. I am too caught up on the drawing. It's so detailed. It looks realistic, almost like a picture. The drawing caught the charms and beauty of the place. However, it looks familiar but i don't know why.

"Did you...do this?" He nods with a little blush on his cheeks.

"Yeah..." He said with a shy voice.

"It's so beautiful." I said in amazed.

"O-of course it does." He tried to sound confident, but his blushing face failed to make him look proud.

"I'll show you some of my work in the future if you like?" I nod to him.

"I'll be happy to look at those masterpieces." I are absolutely in awe at the drawing. I don't know much about coloring materials so i don't know if he just used water color or color pencil or something.

The drawing is full of soul and love; this is devastating that he can't draw or paint again.

'I get it now why he become suicidal.'

The only thing i've at the only beautiful thing that makes me alive...is gone.

"Jennie?" He asked with a worried face.
"Are you okay? You suddenly fell silent."

I flinch a little.

"Ah, yeah, let's go!" I smiled cheerfully and stand up while holding the piece of art tightly.

"Whoa! V, oh my god!" My jaw drops as i look at the magnificent view in front of me. I stop pedaling and stops abruptly which make V bump his chin on the back of my head. He groans silently and i ignore the dull pain. I am too caught up with the scenery.

"This is so amazing! I didn't know a wonderful place like this exits!"

I said excitedly. I slightly push the edge of my bucket hat upwards to look up the flowers dangling above me. The breeze is blowing softly, carrying the sweet scent of wisteria.

"What does it looks like?" He asked.

"It's just like in the drawing." He smile in relief.

"I'm glad it hasn't changed at all."

"Although my nose is getting a little stuffy from the pollens..." I let out a breathy laughs

"...i don't mind at all."

'I never thought flower can be this beautiful..'

"I used to think that blind people are lucky, but sometimes unlucky..." I get off from my bike and help V get off too. I grab his arm and support his weight.

"They're lucky they don't get to see the hideous and ugly things in this world, but at the same time, they can't see and appreciate... the heavenly and lovely things that are after here."

"I guess i'm unluck then." I turn to look at him.

"The only memories i have are the things i want to forget the most. But i guess i am kinda lucky that i get to see this place before i lost my sight." I looked at him.

"If you don't mind me asking...what...happened?" I asked with caution. I sniff and scratch my nose a little.

"When i was young..." He started off slowly, as if picking the right words first.

"...i was abandoned here. I don't know where to go. I just stayed on one spot. It is around spring too. Some people took me to an orphanage since they...don't want a stray kid wondering here in such a beautiful sight. It will spoil the scenery, they said." We walk slowly. I can't help, but to feel something from the back of my mind, something like i've forgotten and is now buried deep in my mind.

"But i don't mind staying in the orphanage since they give clothes, food, and a bed. It's fine instead of sleeping on the hard cemented floor...Until they adopted me..." I look at him. My eyes are slightly wide open

'He...he's just like me.'

"...but before that, they test the children in the orphanage. They did tested about the five senses. I was chosen. They took me in a place they call research lab and..." His voice shakes.

"There are so many other children there. Some are unconscious, some looked dead and pale, and some looks at me with pleading gazes. They are caged and so did I...I was caged with a girl, kim yuna, but they call her Y and i'm V. She explained me everything, about what the people in white coats are doing, about what we will experience." He inhales sharply.

"I can still remember the needles they jobbed me with, and how the other chemicals entered my body. I don't know what the experiment is for, but all i know that they need...children with sharp senses. But amidst that, i found a friends. My cagemate, Yuna. Even though we're trapped in a cage and will end up dying there, she's there to cheer me up. She always amuses me... and tells many stories to keep me entertained. We made a promised that once we got out of there, we will meet at the playground where we always played. She even gave me a map on how to get there." He smiles fondly as if remembering that memory. However, his eyes are teary and his nose is slightly red, probably holding back the tears.

"Due to the chemicals they injected me with, i lost sense of sigh. Since i'm defected, i'm useless to them. They don't experiment with me anymore. Yuna took care of me and become my eyes. Until one day, a fire started in the lab. Yuna and i managed to escape, but we become separated... Some unknown men took the both of us, seperating us. But we still remember our promised to meet at the playground." He suddenly turns to look at me.

"Oh, i'm sorry, i was babbling for too long." He chuckle, but sadness is visible in his eyes.

"Don't you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"To draw."

He fell silent.

"Not just drawing, i miss to see. I want to see again." She stops and sigh.

"I miss... everything." He hang his head low. Suddenly, something flashes through my mind.

It's when i tried to escape from them and ends up lost. There's a child in the middle of this beautiful sight, everyone is giving him dirty looks but he just hangs his head low. They look at the child as if he's rotten flower spoiling the gorgeous others.

I was about to walk to say hi, but someone took my arm roughly.

"M-Milord..." he drags me towards the car waiting for me and Milord.

"You escaped the manor again, Jennie." He said with gritten teeth. I look back at the child. He's full of loneliness. I want to run to him and hug him. I want to run away with him and take him somewhere safe and peaceful.

But i can't.

My eyes widen.

'It can't be...him, right?'

I can't see the boy's face since he's looking down. And now that i'm looking at V, i can't help but to want to hug him. I want to take him somewhere far and safe.

But again, i can't

"V.." I called out softly at him.

"I'm here." He raise his head at me.

"I will help you. I'll stay by your side. You...you don't have to feel lonely..." I slowly reach up to him and cup his warm cheeks with my cold hands.

"I'll be here." I can't read his emotions as he gazes down at me. He slowly removes my hands from his face. I've surprised at first, but then i become even more surprised when he wraps his arms around me. He puts his big hand behind my head and guides my head to rest on his chest. His other hand careses my back as he rest his chin above my head. His warmth is oddly soothing.

It looks like i am the one who needs to be comforted instead of him who just revealed his sorrowful and painful past.

"I wish...I can see your face." I can feel his vibrates as he speaks.

" And I wish..."

His voice is full of yearning.

...We can be happy."

I look up at him with determination.

"We will be happy."

I slowly separate my body from him. I immediately miss his warmth, but ignore that thought.

"And we will start now." I smile cheerfully and grab his hand.

"Come on! Ride the bike again. We're going to have some fun!" I raise my hands that are clasped together.

"Oh, but before that, let's take a selfie." I fish out my phone i open it, but there's a message from jeonghan.

'Tsk, way to ruin the mood.'

For the first time, i ignored his text even though i know i am gonna get in trouble.

"Okay, smile~"

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