04.Jun – Spanish GP

I didn't sleep all night. Not only because of worry with everything that was happening, but also because I had to build a strategy for the race. Carlos left my room after he stayed for about an hour to hug me and make sure I was asleep. But the second he walked out, I opened my eyes, and with them my phone and laptop.

It became clear that Charles' problem during Qualifying was the settings of the car and not "my influence" on him. This was also the reason why I wrote to Fusaro at past midnight, from whom I received information that they did not allow the team to work until late hours and asked us to continue the next day. Parts of Leclerc's car would be sent to Maranello for diagnostics. This was good as I would be able to be present and follow the process of working over the car in the morning, but bad as the parts would be shipped and the diagnostics would take place the next day. This would definitely slow us down, but I was already used to the stereotype of work, radically different from the German I had been trained in.

The sun wasn't even up when I started getting ready in my traditional way for race day. At 7:00am I left my room wearing my uniform with the laptop bag in my hand. My hair - tied in a half ponytail, light makeup to hide the shadows of my worries and the constant part of my outfit - my lucky charms.

Probably the noise I made leaving the bedroom woke Carlos up and he immediately appeared at his door, half asleep and naked to the waist. This man really had a sexy body that was hard to resist, and now the sight of him made my heart start beating faster... Or maybe it was that I was caught in the act when I tried to sneak away unnoticed.

- Where are you going? - Sainz asked, placing his hands on his hips.

- To the milk shop - I replied ironically.

- In uniform and the bag with the computer on the shoulder? - he raised his eyebrows. His abs tightened and defined even more clearly.

- I have a lot of work to do after that - I replied slightly annoyed.

Whether it was the lack of sleep or the problems, I have no idea, but my cracked tone was very noticeable to both of us. Carlos sighed heavily and shook his head in exasperation. It wasn't the first time I'd seen this reaction, so it didn't really catch my attention anymore.

- Lissie, if you want to go to the circuit, you just have to tell me, you don't have to be so harsh - he said quietly and walked towards me.

His unruly fluffy hair fell over his forehead, and he had to brush it down with his fingers a few times before it agreed to take on some decent form.

- I'm sorry, but I don't feel well - I replied. - All this pressure is driving me crazy, and I am starting to be jerk with people around me. I'll be more careful next time.

The Spaniard smiled and his hand gently slid down my cheek before placing a kiss on my forehead. At that moment my phone rang. It was Fusaro.

- Are you awake? – the engineer asked me after I picked up.

- I'm even almost leaving for the circuit - I replied and looked at Sainz who was slowly getting annoyed.

- Isn't it a bit too early?

- Make sure that after an hour both pit crews are in the pits, ready for work.

When I heard the sigh of irritation from Carlos, I immediately turned my back on him and began to walk around the small corridor with little steps.

- But I cannot... – tried to say Alessandro but I interrupted him.

- Look, Fusaro, if you call me to tell me what you can or can't do, I will never pick up the phone again! - I started in an angry tone. - Now get your ass up and call everyone on the team to go to the track. You have an appointment!

I hung up the phone and looked at the stunned Sainz.

- As you can see, I really have to go - I said quietly, biting my lip.

- Lissa...let me give you a piece of advice, as a friend... - he began hesitantly. - I love your wild temper but find a way not to be so rude to the people around you. I'm telling you so you can keep your job here... Or anywhere else.

I stared coldly at the Spaniard for a moment and gritted my teeth. I didn't like being lectured, but the tone and the gallant way Carlos did it touched me and made me realize that I was being overly emotional at times and was hurting everyone - even Charles.

- Maybe I'll listen to your advice, Carlos - I nodded and gave him a small smile. - But now I really need to go.

- Good luck today, Muñeca! - he said and hugged me, kissing the top of my head.

- Good luck today, Smooth operator - I replied with a barely visible smile, not paying attention to another nickname in Spanish that he called me.

I still had a hard time accepting the way Carlos behaved to me, and somehow, I reacted more coldly to everything he did for me - from the kind gestures of care to the little nicknames he used during our conversations. Sainz took a step back of me and leaned down to try to kiss my lips, but I turned away and his lips landed on my cheek. I shivered from their touch, but quickly pulled away from him and without saying anything, walked towards the exit of the apartment.

#

I arrived at the paddock just in time but luckily it wasn't that crowded yet as it was early in the morning. The F2 race was coming up and the focus was more on them. Naturally after yesterday several photographers immediately jumped on me, but I covered myself well with the visor of my hat and dark sunglasses. As I was walking towards the hospitality, a woman from the journalists around made the mistake of catching up with me and spoke.

- Hello Miss Bernardi, as one of the main figures in the paddock in recent weekends, can you give us more information about your observations on the performance of Scuderia Ferrari.

- Screwderia Ferrari is my team - I said forming a heart with my hands. - Forza Ferrari, Sempre!

- About Leclerc's car, can you comment on what is happening with it? - she continued with her questions, and I already had the wish to show her my anger issues. - Lately, a lot of bad luck has been piling up. You're supposedly creating improvements, but performance is deteriorating.

- We will comment after the race - I answered and quickened my step to get out of her trap.

- And what about Carlos Sainz? - she asked bluntly. I could also feel the teasing smile on her face.

I turned sharply, as if I was about to slap her hard, but I waved at her with fake friendliness, just so as not to show her the middle finger, then hurried back to the hospitality.

When I went to the garages, I was surprised to see that Fusaro had done his job. I approached and greeted him.

- How are we going to proceed now? - I asked, putting my hands on my waist.

- First of all, you owe me a Tiramisu - he replied, handing me a cup of hot cappuccino.

- Choose something else, I haven't done the first one yet - I rolled my eyes and took a sip of the drink.

- So, you're going to make me and the whole team two - he laughed.

- Let's fix this fucking car first, then we'll think about food! - I hastened to bring him back to the serious reason for our gathering so early.

- Good, but you know this is a promise – Alessandro started laughing, while I was looking seriously at him.

I shook my head and took a sip from my coffee, reaching to the conclusion that man always remain kids.

#

A few hours later, Leclerc's car was prepared, but we also changed components from it - the gearbox and the whole rear was changed. For this reason, Charles would start his race from the pit lane. I was sitting in Charles' garage, with one eye on the F2 race and the other on the process of working on the car. Everything seemed fine now and I had just calmed down a bit and sat down to drink another coffee with Fusaro when Andrea came running up to me.

- Emergency! - he said worriedly. – Lissa, please, it's urgent!

- Do I look like an ambulance? - I asked, pulling my sunglasses down to make eye contact with the coach.

- In that case, you might be! - he replied and grabbed my hand. - You are coming with me, to HIS room!

I looked at Fusaro and sighed heavily. The mechanic shrugged and motioned for me to go faster. I drank the coffee in one go and ran after Andrea.

We arrived outside Charles's driver's room and the coach opened the door wide, pushed me in and slammed it behind my back. Charles was sitting on the bench, with elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands. He was breathing heavily, barely catching breath, his whole body was shaking, and it became clear to me. Panic attack.

I approached him slowly and softly whispered his name. He looked up - eyes red and full of tears, lips chapped, skin pale, hands shaking.

- Charlie, what's going on? - I asked him, and he stood up sharply and pulled me into his embrace.

- I don't know if I can do it anymore - he sobbed. – I am starting of the pitlane, the season is terrible, the car is terrible... Everything is a complete disaster. Even our friendship. I can't do this anymore, Lissa! I can't!

I stepped back so I could look at him. Leclerc was hyperventilating, shaking like a leaf, and I could see fear and despair in his eyes.

- Hey, hey, I want you to calm down, okay! - I whispered and first stroked his face. - We'll use the SEALS breathing technique, okay!

I pulled away from him and placed my hands on his shoulders, while his palms went directly on my waist.

- 90 seconds! Okay... You inhale for 4... Come on, do it with me!

We both inhaled.

- Now hold for 4...

He fixed his eyes on mine, holding his breath. He looked so helpless, and he had to trust me. I know that at this moment he was praying for all of this to work out.

- Exhale slowly for 4...

The Monegasque breathed out with me without taking his eyes off me.

- Now hold without breathing for 4 seconds...

His pupils were dilated, I could still see the fear in his eyes. We repeated the breathing exercises a few more times and gradually I saw his face calm down and his body relax.

- Are you better now? - I asked him and we both sat down on the bench. He leaned his back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling.

- I thought I was going to die... I'm telling you honestly.

- Naturally, I would too, after all that is happening... - I shook my head.

- How do you know these tricks? - Charles asked me.

- Didn't you realize that I am a very gifted person, Leclerc? - I said with a smug smile.

- That's what I love at you, little one! - he said and took my hand. - Thank you for being there for me... again...

I smiled and looked down at our intertwined fingers. Everything was such chaos right now, and I was trying to calm him down. Even I wasn't calm. but this moment we were sharing now, was priceless.

- Do you have a plan for today? - Leclerc asked quietly.

- I have - I stated firmly. - But I won't tell you at this point... I think we can handle it, just have to believe.

We locked eyes and my heart skipped a beat. He was looking like a little helpless deer. Like Bambi, but with deep green-blue eyes. These gorgeous green-blue eyes, so pure and kind, now full of sadness and insecurity.

- I believe in you Charles - I continued. - I know you'll make it...

He gave me a gentle bitter smile and tightened his grip, intertwining our fingers even more. We sighed at the same time and giggled a little. He was in his uniform, with the oversized jeans, hiding his exhausted body under these clothes. Once this man was full of strength, now he was beginning to look weaker with every single day here.

- Looks like you haven't slept all night - he said suddenly, while I was observing his outfit. - Are you okay?

- I am fine... - I waved my hand casually. - I don't want you to worry about me.

- I can't not be worried about you - he whispered. - You are my precious thing here... The only person, who could help me, when I am on the edge so... I worry about you, the same as you do about me. Also, I wanted to talk about everything that is happening with us. I wanted to clarify our...

- No, no... We won't talk about it now! - I interrupted him and stood up, letting go of his hand, but took his face in my palms. - Today we're going to focus entirely on the race, okay? And in the following days, if we are given the opportunity, we will talk.

Charles looked sadly at the ground and nodded. Disapproval of my words flowed from his whole body, but it didn't matter.

- Your brother is on P9 - I said with a smile, making him look again to me. - We will handle you too, I guarantee you.

- Thank you, Lissie! - Leclerc stood up and hugged me tightly. - I will fight. I promise you!

I stroked his back and relaxed into his embrace. It was so nice, so good... such a... home.

- Come on! - I patted him on the back and broke from our hug. - Let's go kick some rear wings!

Charles giggled revealing his beautiful, sweet dimples. Then we both left his room walking next to each other. We exited the hospitality and headed towards the areas where the boys usually did their pre-race warm-up. I decided that I would accompany Leclerc there so as not to leave him alone, and at last I felt his presence in the same way as it had been before the incident in Monaco - no tension, no discomfort, no disappointment. The two of us were walking and the Monegasque was telling me news from Pierre's life that they had shared during the past week. We laughed at our mutual friend's ridiculous situations and looked at each other with those happy looks we used to have before.

Soon both reached our destination. Charles had to go to Andrea to get into his cold bath, and I was up here. I had to get back to work. Saying goodbye, the Monegasque turned to me and kissed my cheek gently, then turned to Andrea, who was already pacing around the large tub filled with ice water.

I sighed heavily and followed Leclerc with my eyes when behind me I heard splashing water and laughter. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to check out what was going on, so I headed in the direction the noise was coming from. Around the corner in the courtyard of our hospitality, I found Rupert, with towel in hand, standing by a large black tub. And at that moment like true Neptune, Carlos came out of the water and smoothed his hair back. His beautiful athletic, slightly swarthy body seemed to glow under the sun's rays, which were caught by the droplets of water on his bare goosed bumped skin. Now I too got goosebumps realizing how good looking this guy was and I suddenly asked myself... What do I want?

#

It's time for the race. After everything that happened yesterday, I preferred not to stay in the drivers' garages much. I knew Carlos' father had seen everything, I knew he would be there, and I didn't feel like explaining to anyone in his family. I was even less keen to be filmed in the garages of either of our two drivers. During the day I expected there to be news, social media buzzing, there to be pictures of me and Sainz, but to my greatest surprise there were none distributed anywhere. Carlos's PR had taken good care of both of our reputations obviously, which on the one hand was good, but on the other hand anyone could be expected to turn the spotlight on me and the Spaniard, for the simple reason that the entire grid witnessed to my insane reaction.

I took my place by the pit wall, next to me as always sat Mekies, followed by Ravin. This time Vasseur had withdrawn to another place further from me, which gave me some peace of mind. If there was an opportunity for him not to attend the race weekend at all, I would feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Our drivers were already on the starting grid, taking their seats in the cars. I went through all the pre-race rituals for success, then exhaled heavily and put the headphones on my ears.

- Welcome to the track in Catalonia! - I turned on my microphone. - You have a race ahead with 15 turns, 3 DRS zones, with good opportunities for overtaking. The probability of precipitation is 40%, the air temperature is 38 degrees, on the asphalt 42. We are currently choosing a strategy with two pit stops for Carlos and, if possible, one for Charles. Soft tires for Sainz and Hard tires for Charles are available. Any questions guys?

- None, Lissie - Charles replied.

- It's okay - Carlos said.

- In that case, we can begin - I said. - I remind you - be careful and avoid risky overtaking. You are more important than stupid points for the championship!

- Copy – both replied.

After the formation lap, the traffic lights started to light up one by one and... Lights out and away we go!

Sainz attacked from the start, tried to overtake Max on the outside of the first turn, failed but remained second. Stroll also stuck behind him. Leclerc managed to move up to P11, which was an outstanding achievement. Sainz stayed in second position as we continued to follow plan A.

- Shall we switch positions? – he asked.

- Your pace is now good, but you still need to improve it - I replied sternly.

- Just don't surprise me unexpectedly in the next laps - he threatened.

- Yes, yes, we will contact you further - I answered with irritation.

The Spaniard fell silent and continued driving, while I focused on the race I was seeing on the screens. Everything was calm and we reached lap 15 without a problem when Hamilton came into the DRS zone of Carlos. I immediately looked at the positions and times. Charles was going to overtake Carlos entering the pits, and our teammate's tires were already too worn. So, I unmuted my microphone and said:

- Carlos, box now! Medium tires. I repeat - box now for Medium tires.

At the start of the next lap, he pitted, and we were able to make the pit stop without any problems. The good part of my plan was about to be realized. Once Charles overtakes Carlos while he was at the pit lane, and they switched positions, it was going to be easier for me to manage both drivers' race. Carlos had really defensive style of driving and this would also help Leclerc, so he could drive calmly without constant worry, there is another driver trying to overtake him. It was going to be only his teammate.

- Why now? - Sainz asked. - Okay.

He probably noticed that Charles was ahead of him at this point, so I didn't have to explain to him. But why did he ask when he himself wanted to change positions? Unfortunately, the data from the car showed that Charles' tires were too worn and on the next lap he also pitted. He returned to the track on P17s and brand-new soft tires as I was counting on them to push him to a higher position. At the top of the column, Sainz was fighting for more front positions. He managed to overtake Gasly and took P6. Charles was making fast progress and many of the drivers came in for tire changes, so Leclerc found himself in the points zone. He made a double overtake on Bottas and Gasly, but his best friend overtook him again two laps later. Well, it's fair, after all, friendships are forgotten on the track... But Gasly... Come on.

Around lap 26 the Mercedes made a double pit stop and Sainz moved up to P3. Leclerc was fighting with the rest of the drivers - he overtook DeVries as well.

The race progressed, lap 36 Charles was on P11 and the two Mercedes with their tires 10 laps passed Sainz moving him down to P4. Perez was hot on the heels of our Spanish pilot. The tension in the team was growing, and I was already feeling desperate. I was at an impasse.

- Guys, find the best way to beat Checo - Sainz contacted us.

- Apart from getting him out of the car, I don't see what else can be done - I said with slight irritation.

- Lissa, just do something, now is not the time for irony! - answered the Spaniard.

- Sainz, just drive your car and stay out of my business - I hissed at him. - Everyone has a position in this team, please respect it!

Mekies whistled in surprise to me, and I gave him a quick murderous look. He laughed, but I didn't find it funny at all. Sainz was driving me crazy with his orders and there was nothing I could do to make him feel better.

It was lap 41, driver number 16 was P7 and driver number 55 was P4. We had done at a decent level so far. It was time for another pit stop - a change from my original strategy regarding the Leclerc race.

I contacted the two race engineers and warned them exactly what tires I wanted our drivers to be fitted with - Sainz - Hard, Leclerc - Soft. I don't know exactly where our communication broke down, but suddenly I heard Xavier relay a message to Charles:

- Box for Hards.

- No, no, let's put on Soft ones - Charles objected. I was ready to intervene but kept calm. I shouldn't have been stressing.

- Copy that - Xavier replied.

- Box anyway?? - Charles asked.

- Box - he replied. - We are going for Hards.

- Xavi, what nonsense are you talking about, why Hards? - I finally shouted. - Don't you hear the strategy I told you?

Xavier was silent. I got even angrier when I didn't hear an answer and jumped up from my seat, ready to go over to him and start another war, but Mekies stopped me.

I turned to the pit lane and saw both drivers being put on Hard, when they came back on track they were in P6 and P14. I rubbed my temples and shook my head. Indeed, Xavier is employed here under the "work with morons" program.

Around lap 50 thanks to a pit stop by the other drivers, Leclerc was on P13 and Sainz on P5, and after two laps, Charles was able to overtake Piastri and move up to P12, and ten laps later he was behind Gasly.

- Leclerc, would you like to get out of the losers' club! - I unmuted my microphone. - Stop dragging behind Gasly, you have 3 laps until the end of the race, at least overtake him.

- I can't, I feel very bad with the Hard fucking tires! - Leclerc answered me.

- I am not responsible for the fucking mistakes of your stupid engineer! - I answered him.

- And now what do you suggest me to do? - Charles asked his question.

- Maybe overtake Gasly, since Tsunoda has a penalty of 5 seconds and you have a real chance to enter the points zone - I answered him nervously.

- Copy - replied Charles.

But he did not overtake him. And the race ended with P11 for Leclerc, P5 for Sainz.

I took off my headphones and sighed heavily.

- Mekies, you should have let me beat up that guy in Monaco - I said through gritted teeth, pointing to Leclerc's garage. - And the car needs to be changed in terms of mechanics and construction. This torture cannot continue anymore.

- I will have a serious talk with Vasseur... His management policy is clearly dragging us down - Mekies whispered to me. - Now we will get together to discuss everything, and you will give your suggestions, okay?

- Yes of course - I replied sadly.

- Lissie, smile girl, the strategy you had prepared was good, the problem was not in you - Laurent tried to calm me down.

- I can no longer lie to my body from the outside in... - I shook my head. - I can't smile and pretend that everything is fine. Our team suffers, the drivers suffer, I suffer too...

- You know Lissie, you tried a lot these two weekends, rest a little before you go back to Maranello.

- No, I have to follow the car and the work on it... - I got up from my seat and looked at the race director reproachfully.

- Lissie, you need a break, and I can see that - he stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. - You are anxious, you look tired and emaciated. I am happy with your work and believe me if you are absent from here for a few days it will not affect your place in the team.

- Are you sure, Mekies? - I asked him worriedly.

- I promise you! - he nodded and smiled.

- I'll think about it - I smiled. - Thank you, Laurent!

Mekies winked at me, and we both got off the pit wall, heading for the hospitality.

#

Until late in the evening we stayed at the meeting to discuss the work. 24 hours of sleeplessness were already adding up and I was feeling sick as hell. Sainz was on one side of me, Leclerc on the other, and I was leaning back in my chair, praying that we'd finish faster. After analyzing the performance, we came to the conclusion that we have incredible inconsistency, and we will have to work a lot before Canada. I was tasked with doing a research on the track in Canada and preparing a report with potential strategy options by the end of next week.

After we finished the meeting, I was the first to leave the room and literally flew out of it, followed by Leclerc. When I noticed his presence, I spoke to him over my shoulder.

- You were struggling a lot today - I said, and after we rounded the corner, far from the conference room, I stopped and turned to him. - Nothing, you finished P11, I'm proud of you.

- Lissie, I fought... And I will fight again - he took my hand and quickly kissed it. - Lissa listen to me for a second. You avoid me, I know you think I'm a bastard, I know you have a terrible opinion of me, but hey... This is still me, the person you met in the beginning, the one you shared everything with... The one you kissed in Monaco. Nothing changed since then, even though it looks like many things changed... But anyways, I promise I will fight for you. I will prove to you that I am not what you think I am... I will change your opinion of me, and I will try to win your heart. I guarantee you...No matter what, I'll keep fighting! For you! Cause Lissie, I am in...

At that moment we heard the sound of a door opening in the distance and we both backed away from each other. I could tell by the voices going around that Sainz and Ricky had come out of the conference room. Charles and I exchanged pitiful glances. Our heartfelt conversation was interrupted, and I just wanted to tell him that he had won my heart long ago. But soon after, our Spanish teammate appeared around the corner and approached us.

- Shall we go? - he asked, and Leclerc and I looked at each other puzzled for a moment.

- See you in Maranello mate! - Charles nodded and they both clapped their hands.

- See you soon, Charles! - I said quietly and lowered my head guiltily.

Sainz and I walked to the car and when I got into the red Ferrari I exhaled heavily and closed my eyes. I just wanted to find a solution to a problem I created for myself. The truth was, I either had to take a chance or play it safe. I had no guarantee from either. I knew the consequences of every single one of my actions since the weekend in Monaco. It was just high time that I made a decision and reached the outcome of this situation.

At that moment, while this dilemma was going on in my head, the bracelet on my hand seemed to flash up. But what was going on? It was not the first time I saw this "flash" and began to think I was hallucinating.

- Should I book a flight to Italy? - Carlos asked, scrolling through his phone.

- Pardon? - I turned to him and narrowed my eyebrows. He just snapped me out of my serious thoughts.

- Will we travel to Maranello after the testing on Tuesday? - he looked at me quizzically.

- I will take a little break from Maranello - I forced a smile. - You asked me to stay with you... And I will... I will come... To the wedding.

- Did I hear you correctly? - he laughed and threw his phone aside. - Will you come with me to my sister's wedding?

- Yes, yes, I'll be there...

Carlos smiled widely and grabbed my hand, then kissed it.

- I promise, you won't regret it, Pequeña! - he said and started the car engine.

- I've heard it already once - I muttered under my breath and curled up in the seat.

Charles' words were ringing in my ears, his unfinished sentence was bothering me, I could still feel the touch of his lips on mine hand, and in front of me were only those deep green-blue eyes, full of hope, lust for life and... Love.

Notes: Heeey guys! Here I am with the brand new chapter! Yeah I know I am slow but have so many stuffs on the top of my head, that I should be working for the circus to balance them all. 

Anyway, what we have here? We have Charles and Lissie, and it seems as if they are getting back together. What got them closer again? Well the power of Lissie to calm Charles down, to understand him and save his soul. But here we have another person fighting for her heart - Carlos. Our Carlito does everything just to get closer to Lissa, but did he lose all his chances after her conversation with Charles in front of the conference room? Well, we will understand on the wedding of his sister in the next chapter.

So guys I hope you liked the chapter and the story as well - give a star/comment if so, hear the external link aaand see ya in the next part!

Love ya all <3 <3 <3

N16XOXOXO