Surely gets better?

Aunty had a worried face on by the time Lunn and Martha reached at the house because she had last seen Martha the day before and to her knowledge, Martha hadnt been fine when she left but for now she was just grateful that she was back with a smile on her face and mostly,with Lunn. Aunty knew that without Lunn, Martha wouldnt have bren able yo carry on...Lunn was a big pillar in her healing or you can call it her 'stuck-mourning' phase.

The girls exchanged greetings with Aunty and headed to Martha's room, they took turns to refresh and Lunn left afterwards to go home and prepare for school the next day feeling relieved that Martha was atleast happy...well, atleast ok or better than what had turned into her 'usual' self.

As Several months passed by, martha had came up with a quest to having a positive outlook on life. She had thought things through and she decided this was her time...the time that she chooses to let go of the pain but not forget how wonderful her family was!

So day by day, Martha who was so depressed before had started to ease up more than before, she was trying as hard as she can not to be withdrawn again...she started helping around the house with Aunty and sometimes found time to play around with the kids. Kept in touch with Lunn almost daily which was a relief to everybody in her life and they all hoped she stays this way forever!

I guess it was all about the guilt consciousness that she had developed due to that night when she had wandererd off into a stranger's house and drunk herself to unconsciousness - that's when she had come to realise that she was actually straying off really bad and that she could do better only if she tried! This was for her and yes she was the only one to dig herself out from the nonchalant life and the 'i dont care about life aura' she had been wearing for the past 3years and so.

She went back in her mind to the times when her real family was still around. It used to be what you could call a small perfect family home filled with love, laughter and jokes all the way. Ofcourse they had their ups and downs but there wasnt atleast a thing that mama and and papa hadnt fixed over the years. She had never seen them fight atleast not infront of her and her little sister. They had that special bond which always reflected the kind of family that Martha could picture herself raising some day.

She had been raised to be a jolly person...to always smile through all difficulties,  she was taught to always be strong nevertheless. She and her sister were loved but not pampered! They always had chores to do at home and never did mana and papa hire a househelp because they beleived in teaching their little girls the true aspects and virtues of a real life in the big real world.

She remembered her father's words in the poems that he always used to recite every time they had eaten dinner as a family which was almost on a regular basis.

After eating, mama would clear up the dinner table for a special family time which they eagerly looked forwad to. With her little sister chirping happily,  mama always carrying 'proud' smile and dad reigning with imaginary powers as a king with his princesses!

Papa would then start talking in a wierd funny accent of the old english kings which always cracked them up but listened tentatively to what 'king papa' had to say...

To Martha's sister,

Oh you little-lest princess of mine,
My world would surely be lost...
Without your contagious charm!
You lighten up my everday, with your worry-less smile!

Your innocent little shiny face,
Your beautiful dark eyes,
Your milk chocolate skin,
Your long dark curly hair.
The most beautiful princess in the world!

I wouldnt trade you for anything, because you are my ray of hope,
My little lilly in a pile of thorns!
That shines through my world,
My heart....you are my heart!
What would i be without my heart!

"Now come here, give dad a very fat hug!" He would say in a funny cocky voice as he lifts her up and hugs her like their life belonged to that.

He always recited this as he sat her on the dining table so she could face him and made matching gestures and expressions to emphasize every word. Her sister would giggle and laugh and shy away and hug her dad over and over again. Until it was Martha's turn;

Oh, my very first pearl!
My pearl of love
My pearl of hope
My pearl of strength!
My own sight, Am lost without you!

You are my portrait!
Potrait of kindness,
Potrait of leardership
Potrait of ambitions
Potrait of strengths
Potrait of good deeds!

You are the beautiful white rose,
In the middle of no where.
You stand firm and tall,
Among your own peers
In you i see a little too much,
Influential woman of colour!
My beautiful, beautiful love!

And then he would rub Martha's cheeks with pride in his eyes, he would hold her close and hug her too.

And then to all of them including mama, he would say;

I got all i need when i have you all!
My love, my heart, my sight!
My girls, my princesses!
Am proud! So proud as a king can be ever be!
And to God i pray, please protect them for me!

And by this time, Martha's little sister would be seated on papa's lap...wearing away with sleep. He kisses Martha on the cheek and as he carries her little sister to her room, they all bid their mama goodnight as Martha trails along to her room as well.

When she looks back at all that, she realises how papa and mama had always wanted their girls to be happy. She smiles as she recalls papa's jokes and poems that he always made up just to see each of them smile....she doesnt know why they had to die and live her behind, almost on her own but again for now, she just had to make her dead dad proud!

'Do they blame me for the fire as i do blame myself?' She questions herself every day but she knows she will never know, however much she tries and even if they did, 'would they forgive me?'
                         ........................

             ..........My note............

Ok. Thanx everyone for reading this chapter! As you can also see that the chapters are getting longer and more revealing! Like, comment and tell me what you think so far! Thank you all loves😚😚😚

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De_lovie15 (instagram), kwagala stellah-Marie (you tube) and Delovie (twitter).