Apparently, it wasn't a dream. But I didn't realise that, till he came the second night. He'd sneaked into my room again, goodness knows how, and then hugged me from behind when I was removing pieces of armour from my arms.  He wasn't wearing armour. Just his signature black cotton shirt and leather pants.

We didn't talk about anything important. For some reason, he desperately avoided skin-to-skin contact, only hugging me, ensuring his arms were wrapped around my waist on top of my clothes.

He would hug me, run his hands through my hair, kiss my temple but only over my hair. It frustrated me but when I asked about it, his answer only worsened my frustration. He would only remind me what he said about not touching me till I forgave him and yadda yadda but I felt there was more to it. I believed there was. He would lie down with me wrapped in his arms on the bed, and stay till I slept before quietly slipping out of my room, but I always heard him.

It made me anxious. Eventually when I decided to increase mine and my soldiers training, I would come back to my room extremely tired. The only thing on my mind would be to fall in bed, but he'd be there waiting for me every night.

He'd make sure I went to shower and change before I go to sleep, threatening to get in and drag me out of the bathroom if I took too long to change. So I hurried it up the moment he stared threatening. Everytime.

By the second week he seemed anxious. One week and two nights after the first time he came to visit me in my room, he decided enough was enough. The moment I walked through the  door, he locked it and bolted it, signifying he was about to say something serious.

"Do you think you could make time to meet me at my parent's house tomorrow?" He asked. I hadn't even taken off my armour. He came to my side, helping loosen the straps and take off pieces of my armour.

"What for?" I asked, taking off the last piece. "Why do we need to go there?"

"There are ears everywhere, Nora." He told me, cupping my face in his left hand and raising my chin so my eyes met his. His voice was soft, like he was scared I'd run away. "I need to tell you what happened. I can't drag it out anymore. We don't have much time."

"What time tomorrow?" I asked. He didn't need to say more. I understood. He stayed that night. Longer than he normally would. He slept there with me in his arms. Don't ask me how I know, I just did.

By morning, he was gone. All that was left of his presence was a note that read. "Don't forget." It was written in his writing. Cursive, beautiful. I had almost forgotten how his writing looked. My handwriting never looked half as good as his, even though his mum taught him, my sister and I how to write.

His mother's writing was simply elegant. Like that of a queen's and I'd seen that of a queen's from my times watching Alea as she wrote official letters to other kingdoms and yes, she liked writing them herself. My sister's writing was worse than mine, by far. Mine was still quite legible to a point. But Kerran's... He definitely took his mother's writing, not his father's. My sister took his father's. I was in the middle.

Staring at the writing brought back memories as I thumbed the top corner of the paper. Memories I hated reliving because of the constricting feeling it put in my chest.  It was uncomfortable to say the least.

I picked the paper up, admiring it for a moment, then I took a match from the matchbox beside the lantern in my room. I lit it and placed the flame right below the paper, carrying the burning paper to the bathroom. I watched the ashes go down the drain and washed them away with some water from a pail.

I sighed, then turned and headed back to my room. 'Today is going to be a long day...' I thought.

***

Once I had done everything I needed to do for the day, and I had gotten permission from the Queen after I had given her an excuse for my decision to go to town, I left and made my way through town.

The training had been even more vigorous today than any other day. I made sure. However I let the army retire early today. They won't be getting much sleep after tonight, I was sure so I decided to make up for it in advance.

'Wasn't I the nicest?' I thought sarcastically.

'Suuuure' the voice in my head replied. 'it has absolutely nothing to do with a certain young man you're out to see?'

'Whyever would you think so?' I thought. 'I'm just being nice. They'll appreciate by tomorrow.'

'Uh huh.'  Was all it said.

I mentally rolled my eyes. I was definitely going crazy. I couldn't even win arguments against my own self. I blamed it on Kerran. I was perfectly sane before he came.

"I can hear you thinking from in here, Nora." he told me.

Speak of the devil. I matched straight into the house, my eyes darting around till I found him in the kitchen.

"This is all your fault!" I exclaimed suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at him as I marched up to him.

He looked up from what he was making, raising a brow. "Well, am I allowed to know what I did wrong?" He asked.

I huffed frowning, dropping my arms to my sides. I was annoyed. How was I going to tell him I thought I was going nuts without totally sounding crazy.

I said nothing. I just stared at him, then I turned to leave the kitchen. "Just do what you're doing. I want to know what you have to say." I called behind me.

"Nora? Are you ok?" He asked rather softly.

I turned to look at him and caught the worry in his gaze. I sighed and gave him a half smile. "I'm fine." I replied and left the kitchen.

I sank into the sofa in the living room, knees to my chest, thinking. I wasn't just agitated with the fact I couldn't agree with myself. The trainings and the idea of the war were taking their toll on me. The fact I didn't know whose side Kerran was on scared me. I just wanted to sleep and wake up when it was all over. But I couldn't.

I swallowed the lump in my throat willing myself not to cry. Kerran would hear it no matter how quietly I cried.

Just then he left the kitchen and knelt in front of me cupping my face between his hands.

"Oh, Nora." He sighed and the dam broke. The tears I held in rolled down and I broke down in his arms.

It definitely didn't seem like anything would be ok anytime soon.