💘JUST SKIP THE ITALICS BELOW THIS! SKIP THE ITALICS 😭
Im not okay. Writing is the only thing I have left to send away my feelings. I cant take this anymore. Why does time move so slow. Why. Why. Why. WHY??

Please someone take me out of this god damn earth. I cant do it myself but I would really appreciate it.

Ignore that. (: i felt like writing about the bedrock bros cause I miss them. And also me being q Techno and Tommy kinnie/apologist idk whos side to choose. Its been months.

TWS:
add this later you dumb fuck
SWEARING
ABUSE MENTIONS
SUICIDE MENTIONS

Lemme know if I missed anything.
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^+Tommy POV+^

He finds it funny. How his big brother is so quick to assume. So quick to find him as the one in the wrong. To think he knows what emotions are behind every decision. Betrayal. Thats all it is to the pig god. Nothing else. Does he even have a brother anymore? One died the day they lost the war. The other? Died when he left him for the vultures to feed.

The green bastard really has to ruin everything for him. Huh, its funny. Each time he looses a brother is when they become friends with the man. When he lost himself that man was his only friend. Alone on an island. Pieces of him being burned everyday along with the stuff he placed in those holes.

He turned towards the home of a certain crow and pig. "Family" is what he should call them. Family sticks together. They help eachother when all goes go hell. Atleast thats what others would tell him. Tubbo would talk about a kind and caring father. Do fathers love you? Its pretty weird to think about. Purpled would tell him that siblings care for eachother. Wilbur cared... But whats Techno then? Ranboo would tell him mothers love you unconditionally, protecting you when you need it most. Wheres his mom? When will she protect him from this cold dark world?

Knocked on the door twice, very lightly. Hoping no one would answer he turned and began to walk down the steps. That is until the door creaked. "Fuck.." he muttered under his icy cold breath. The knocks were as loud as normal for the pig. After all his hearing was great. Thats why most friend would knock light. Too hard could hurt his ears.

"What are you doing at my house Tommy?" Tommy would giggle at the similarities to a few months ago while first being caught at the house. Of course that is if he wasnt panicking. "I-fuck uhm hold on.." "Hurry up before I kill you on the spot. Your not welcome here." "I know I-" he pulled out a long stick? It was wrapped in paper. "Here- I uh forgot to give this back." The pink haired man grabbed the item before unwrapping it.

He held the axe of peace in his hands. "Ah, the thing I gave you before you BETRAYED ME." "ALRIGHT THATS FUCKING IT." Tommy snapped. He doesn't know why. He just did. Techno was taken back by the sudden outburst. "IM SICK OF YOU BEING SO FUCKING INCONSIDERATE. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I FEEL OH MIGHT TECHNOBLADE?!" He spoke of the pinkettes name as if it was venom being dripped off his dry tongue.

"I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Oh so proud of betraying the weapon. THE WEAPON YOU USED. YOU GAINED MY TRUST AND THREW IT AWAY LIKE SOME SUNDAY PAPER." "IT WASNT FUCKING EASY." "YOU KNOW IT WAS." "IMAGINE YOU HAD 5 SECONDS-" his voice began to waver. "Five. Fucking seconds. To choose between sticking with your big brother and your FUCKING abuser and watching your best friend die. Or betraying someone you love to save a life of another loved one. I HAD NO TIME TO COMPROMISE. I DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST AT THE MOMENT. I DID NOT WANT TO STICK WITH THAT SICK FUCK AND WATCH MY BEST FRIEND DIE. ITS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU OH MIGHTY BLOOD GOD." "..." Techno stood silent. How could he say anything? His brain was still processing the information he just got.

"Abuser?"

"Fuck..I uhm-" "Did something in exile that you arent telling me?" "No- i mean yeah but not really?" "What did Dream do?" Tommys eyes seemed to snap at Techno. His slightly anxiousness suddenly disappearing and being replaced by anger.. and fear. "DONT. DONT YOU DARE. Ever say that bastards name to me again. I cant go back there- Fuck I dont want to go back there." Techos eyes were flooded with worry. What happened that he's not being told? "Do..you wanna come in?" Tommy nodded. He followed techno into the snowy cabin.

It was much warmer inside. A fluffy polar bear laid rolled up over by the warm fire. Techno pointed to the sofa. "Sit." Tommy nodded and did as he was told. Why did he have to go out of his stupid way and deliver the axe. Why couldn't keep his mouth shut. Why couldn't have left it at the door. Why didn't he just fall off the damn tower when he had the chance. Why-

"o..my? Y..u ..h..re??" He looked up. "Huh? What? Sorry.." Techno looked away. "Its alright.. I uh, made tea." He held two cups of tea. He put on in front of Tommy. A cupholder right below it. "Thanks.." Tommy picked up the cup. He sipped the tea. Its was a nice blueberry tea. Techno remembered his favorite. He smiled lightly at the thought before quickly changing his face to normal. Remember who your enemies are Tommy. Remember, just like how Ranboo couldn't. Remember, just like Tubbo does too much.

"So.. what happened back there." Tommys head turned blank. He put the tea down. He forgot about that. Well fuck this. Why did he have to get in this horrible situation. "Its uh- nothing really..." "Cut the crap Tommy. We both know that something definitely happened during exile." Tommy brought his legs up. His face became buried in his arms. He leaned them on his knees as he turned away. "..How much of the story do you want?" "All of it."

He thought back. To a time that was not too long ago. A time he wish he could forget. "I.. It- Its probably just an overreaction from he. Exile wasn't that bad.. yeah not bad. He uh- hurt me. But its alright we were friends!" He tried to reassure himself. Surely Dream cared about him! "I- I guess its my fault. I hid stuff from him. Friends dont hide things.. right? Yeah no- they dont. Thats mean. I just.. didn't want him to blow up it." Techno grew more worried as the boy talked. How didnt he know so much was happening with his little brother?

(ISTG I HATE THIS- fallen down leave me alone 😭)

"I don't think he deserves the title of abuser.. Puffy says he does. She said friends dont hurt you. Do they Technoblade?" He turned his head towards the older. "I mean Wilbur did. He was like a best friend. He was my brother... Dream would hurt me when I was bad. Like Wilby. I deserved it. Thats what he said. Puffy says I dont, that no one does. But Puffy doesn't know what ive done..." Techno frowned. "What did you do?" Tommy closed his eyes. His forehead now laying on his knees. "I was bad. I- I wanted to see Tubbo. Sometimes I thought I did. I would see him in the trees. He was never there. Ranboo would tell me to ignore it. I wanted to see Ranboo. To the see the Christmas tree. Dream said no. He got mad. I tried to jump.. the bridge in the nether. The lava just looked so pretty.. Dream was mad. He said it wasn't my time.. Do you think L'manburg would still be here if I jumped?" He sighed. "I should have jumped at the tower.. I didn't. I landed in a pond and came here. It was better here. No... green man. No tnt. No hurting. I liked it. The crows even kept me some company.."

"Jumped?"

"Y-yeah. Into the other side." He looked up at his brother. "Do you think the other is nice? I went there before. Not for long. Mumza said she didn't want me there. Something about its not my time. Dream would tell me that. Does mum know Dream? Theres that tall laughing mask guy. Is he Dream?" "Hes more of a brother of Dreams I believe..." "oh. I dont like the tall guy. Hes very annoying."

(Guess who doesn't know wtf to write so is now doing a flashback. Yup, me!)

He stood in the middle of the island. He was on top of a tree. Its leaves made it a bit more comfortable to hang out on. Out of nowhere a portal like noise could be heard. He looked at the portal nervously. Dream would be mad if he saw him up here. He then looked the other way. Odd what made that noise? Suddenly a voice came from behind him. "This is boring.." He screeched, the god scared the living shit outta him. He turned around "WHAT THE FU-" "language." "Who are you??" The god tilted his head. "Do you not know me??" Tommy shook his head no. "Wow, Dris was right. You do live under a rock." The god sighed. "Im DreamXD" He did Jazz hands. "Just call me XD." "Okay...?"

For the rest of that day XD followed him around making random comments on Tommys life. Most commonly it was "Your sad." "That tents ugly." "This is boring." Tommy assumed its just him being used to the all mighty god life he had. XD says that god life is boring. Thats why he came down. To escape the wrath of the others. XD told him about ): and Prime. He even told storied about Mumza and Drista. Oddly enough Dream was never a topic. Any time the name was brought up it was shut down by the god.

"Tommy what would he say to you over there?" Tommy thought to himself. "Say? He spoke a lot. I wasn't allowed to speak too much. When his sister came tho we spoke. Shes a lot nicer. Drista. He would tell me im alone. How-How no one cares about me. Hes me only friend. He was atleast. Is he still my only friend? Maybe. Its not like I have those anymore." He laughed to himself. "He said he was bad! I was. He said I was crazy for seeing Tubbo. Am I crazy Technoblade? Surely not right..? I mean thats why hes in jail. Hes crazy! Not me!" He shook his head. He reached out to the cup and lifted to his mouth before taking a sip. "Your not crazy Toms, just.... different." Tommy chuckled. "Yes I am, you know I am. Tubbo had already became Schlatt. It was only a matter of time that I became Wilby. Theres only one difference between us of course." "And whats that?" "Wilby liked TnT. I dont, it scares me. Makes my ears all ringy, more than normal." He shrugged his shoulders. "Oh well."

He sipped his tea in silence. Techno didn't dare to speak, his mind still processing the information he was just told. So much things his brother said that he didn't know about. Hallucinations? TnT? Abuse?? How did he not notice the signs. Every time his voice was raised a bit Tommy would look at him worried and apologize. The amount of flinching. The times his gaze would look away from Techno worryingly.. as if he was looking at something. Hell that's probably why Dream wanted him back so bad, so he doesn't snitch.

The sound of a cup being placed down could be heard. Tommy stoop up before grabbing the two empty mugs. "Ill go wash these then head out. Thanks for the tea." He let out a smile. It was obviously forced. He let it fall the moment he turned around, heading towards the kitchen. There he washed the two mugs and went to the door to put on his shoes.

Tommy tied the laces of his sneakers. He braced himself for the cold air that was sook to hit him. "Wait." He turned around to see Technoblade holding something in his hands. "Here, its uh. Really cold outside." He placed a big and very fluffy cape on the boys shoulders. It was the one Tommy used to use at his house. He smiled at the old memories. A note was folded in the pockets, he'll check it later though.

He opened the door handle. Time to go see a certain someone...

2132 words
I forgot to put that in italics. Oh well
Finished: same as published
Published: 2022 march 9 19:31