My comfort song is above. Why? Im not feeling okay. Im sorry about not posting. Im lazy I know. Im sorry.

This isn't really proofread. Not that I ever really do that but I didn't correct anything so sorry.

TWS:
💘NOPE NOPE NOPE DONT READ THIS SKIP IT SKIP IT SKIP IT
if I dont write these someone please let me know. I just cant rn im sorry.

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//Wilbur POV\\

He looked up at the ceiling. It's Saturday today. He then looked around his room. How boring. Life has gotten so boring recently. Even waking up is such a chore. He felt like theres no use of even walking out of bed. Why bother? There would be nothing waiting for him anyways. At least nothing pleasant. Perhaps he was just lazy? He felt lazy. Selfish if you will. Nothing to do. Nothing to make him want to keep breathing.

The last time he felt this was almost a year ago. He had people who would help him through it though. Then again when he couldn't see them anymore he ended up trying to you know... end it all. Sometimes he wished it worked. He could be floating around in infinite void! Maybe he could be reunited with his childhood pets in the underworld. He misses his ducks. Maybe he would just make a full stop. There would be nothing waiting for him.. just darkness. Would he want that? Maybe. It sounds better than being awake and bored of breathing. Ngl kinda overrated.

He stared at the ceiling. Was it his fault? Is he why his mother doesn't enjoy much anymore. Is he why is father is always angry. Yeah, he is. Its his fault for being dumb. For failing his classes just as much as he wished his heart would fail him. He blinked. What a boring life..

Suddenly his door opened. "Wilbur wake up! Take care of your brothers. Me and your mom are heading out." It was then left open. The man in the door walking out. He muttered under his breath "asshole.." He sat up. Wow. Its been hours since he actually first woke up, shocker. He got up. His parents were already gone. Of course they were. Maybe he was being selfish? It was his dads birthday a few days ago, he wants to go out and celebrate.
(Ironically. When posting this, its a week after writing it and it's literally a few days after dadzas birthing)

Is it wrong to miss the arguing they would do? The panic attacks they would give him? It gave at least a little bit of color in the world. Now all he sees is in black and white. Not even a single bit of grey.

He made his way to the kitchen before heating up his siblings breakfast. Tommy and Techno were still asleep.. he'll let them rest. Why not? He ate his flavorless eggs as he started at the wall. What could he possibly do today? Oh wait, he knows! Utterly fucking nothing. Again.

Then.. he had a bright idea. A grand one if you will. What if he.. vanished? Forever. What if he died? They wouldn't care! They didn't care last time. Why would they give a fuck now?? All he has to do is not fail. He won't have to deal with the yelling of medical bills and selfishness his mother would say. He wouldn't have to see his father look at him so darkly for making them look like bad parents. News flash, they are! Fucking shitty if you will.

He came up with a small plan. It would probably work.. right? He got up and placed his plate in the sink. He then double checked if his brothers were asleep and they were. He left the house they all shared and headed out into the village. There were shops all around, it was very distracting but he knew what he was there for. He navigated his way around the plenty of townsfolk as he tried to find this one stand. It was a utility shop. They sold tools and gear. But most importantly.. they sold rope.

He walked up to the villager in the front. She smiled at him kindly. "Hi! How may I help you Wilbur?" "Hi miss V. Sorry to bother I just need a rope today." The woman frowned. See she knew Wilbur well. Since he was a small child actually. She knew how he felt. She worked at the library down the street, her wife owned the utility shop that she was helping work while she was away. The library was Wilburs little hideout, it became his home away from home. (Ngl mine is my friends house. I love their parents. Everyone is so amazing there.)

V or really Velvet knew about Wilburs... thoughts to say the least. She looked at Wilbur concerned. "What are you going to do with this sweetie?" He was like a niece to her, but not by blood of course. She would never want anything to happen to him. Wilbur smiled, it was fake. She didn't know. "Im going to help Toms make a pully in his tree house!" She handed the rope. "Enjoy then Will! Let the boys know I said hi." He smiled brightly, it was atleast semi-genuine now. "Of course I will! Love you miss V!" He then left.

He muttered to himself on the way back. "Poor V. I hope she doesn't blame herself." He knows she will... but he can't let that stop him. Not now.

He made it home once more. The smell of spoiled vanilla made its way through the air. It was an odd smell. Perhaps it was because the other day he spilled vanilla everywhere.. thats not important right now though. He left the door unlocked as he closed it, not his problem anymore. He made his way back to his room. Tommy and Techno obviously had already eaten the eggs he left out for them, they probably retreated back to their rooms.

He sat down on his desk. Who does he write to... why would he even bother? Its not like anyone could care. He wrote a few simple notes to the only ones he thought would bother reading them. A long one was meant for his non related aunt. He pities her sometimes, what will she do when he's finally gone?

His parents got a single letter. Its size was large and full of anger. It was full of everything he could think of. Why he hated them. Why they don't deserve a sorry. And yet.. it ended with a simple. "I don't forgive you.. I never will. But for now I will forget, just like how you forgot that I had feelings. Haha yeah, Fuck you. </3"

He smiled at his writing. Maybe he was overreacting? He could be. Eh who cares. He unwrapped the rope and began to tie a certain knot he learned how to make a few years earlier. Who knew he would actually need that information in the future. He wrapped it around the wooden plank that was meant to hold up the roof. Old houses have their perks.

He placed a stool under the rope as he slid hid head through it. Did he really want to do this? Maybe he doesn't want to die... But he does, doesn't he? Suddenly he was snapped out of his thoughts with a scream from across the hall. "Wiiilbuur!" Tommy was shouting his name, he was probably looking for him. In his shock he slipped and accidentally kicked the stool from underneath his feet. Welp, guess that decision was made for him..

And just like that.. he's gone.

1258 words. I haven't posted in forever im sorry. Correct me on my mistakes if u wanna. The writing is shit I know.
Finished: idk
Published: march 5th 2022 12:51