TW- death, blame.

thank you @person99101000 for the request!

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(btw, hes alive here. just pretend ghostbur never happened-)

wilbur's pov

"jesus christ tommy, where the fuck are you?" i continued walking, counting each step. 
'1, 2, 3, 4..'

i called out every once in a while, he normally answers in the first few calls. he may be asleep.

i finally made in to his house, unfortunately i lost count of how many steps i took. at least 500 though. 

walking into his house, the stench was awful. like he didn't leave this shithole for weeks, gross.

"tommy, wake the fuck up!" i screamed as loud as i possibly could.
this bitch boy really is a heavy sleeper, i sighed and continued trying to find his bed.

'510, 511, 512, 513..'

mumbling something inaudible, i slammed the door open. "TOMMY, WAKE THE FUCK- up.."

"w-what?"
i ran over to his body, i could already feel tears. checking his pulse, there was nothing. 

i stood up, devastated.

looking around, i found a note that read-

"i'm sorry, i know this is hurting you. i just couldn't take it. i love you  guys so much and i'm sorry for causing so much pain.

-i did it because i couldn't take it all the random urges to cut. i couldn't handle how much i hurt people.

please, my last wish is for you to tell Tubbo that i love him so much, and i'm so sorry that i didn't say anything i was going through.

tell Techno that he's helped me so much, he's helped me go through the nights.

tell Wilbur that he was one of the best 'brothers' anybody could ever have, i'm grateful i met him.

tell Philza that i'm sorry for doing this, i love you 'dad'.

tell the rest that i'm sorry for being such an annoying kid, but i love them all so much. i know i'm bad at showing it but i truly do love them with all my heart

i'm sorry for being so weak, i'm sorry for giving up.
-tommy."

"why didn't he tell me?"
"this is all my fault, i should've done something! anything!
"should've check up on him, i knew something was wrong."
"i'm a terrible friend."
"i'm so sorry tommy, i'm sorry i wasn't there for you.
"i love you."

i could barely tell what i was saying, i was confused. all my words somehow combined into one, tears took over my face. it felt as if i was being suffocated.

"this is my fault."

i slammed the note down, more tears falling onto the paper. 

looking over to where he was on the floor, i went over to put him on the bed. 
"should i tell them?"

i gave him one last hug, letting the tears stream down my face. i sobbed into his shoulder, his shirt was getting more wet.

"i'm sorry"

i let go of the hug and left the room, "who would take this the best?"
"phil or techno."

tell me if i fucked up on anything

vote bc im desperate 😉