Cody's POV

As soon as I made it inside Natalie stormed toward me. She was hitting on me, with glassy eyes. I restrainedyself and gripped onto her wrists. I held her back as she glared at me.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I spat gripping her wrists, as I felt a mix of emotions spilling over.

"Mom...she's at the hospital. But I had to stay here to wait for you to come." she hisses at me, pulling away from my grip to slam her fist against my chest.

My eyes widen, as I swallowd hard. I opened my mouth, but no words left it, only the cracking of my voice.

"So, get your car, and let's go." she says walking past me, slipping her shoes on. "C'mon! We don't have all day, you already weren't here last night." she says swinging the front door back open.

The drive to the hospital was quiet, besides the radio. And eventually Natalie turned it off. She kept glancing at me, but I kept my eyes on the road. So many thoughts were invading my brain at once, and I still hadn't recovered from the news earlier about mom.

"Terrance wasn't too surprised that this happened....meaning he knew something about her that we didn't." Natalie breaks the silence, and brings me out of my head.

I glanced at her briefly, before looking back at the road. My snarky replies weren't coming as quick as they usually would be. And I just couldn't bring myself to function normally. I just needed to know how mom was doing. I need to know that she is okay.

"Say something, you have to. You didn't answer our calls. You made mom panic- this is you're fault." she says suddenly as I stop at stop sign, then look at her. "She panicked....and none of us knew where you were. And before I knew it...I found her on the ground, hardly breathing."

I could remember a similar event occurring before. Her and Terrance tried to play it off like it was nothing, and I went along with it. I just wanted to believe that things were okay.

But nothing, nothing in life right now was okay. I wasn't okay- no I don't matter. Not now, I'm always focused on me. Mom wasn't okay, Natalie was okay, my friends... nobody I knew was really okay.

"Cody!" she shouts, causing me to jump before continuing to drive.

"Don't distract the driver." I mumble, earning a glare from her.

The rest of the way to the hospital is silent. Even our walk inside, we find Terrance in the waiting room. I assumed he would have been with mom. He raises his head, glancing at us. His eyes widen when he sees me and his jaw tightens. I sigh making my way over to him with Natalie by my side.

"Your mother doesn't want to see me, she wanted to see you first." he says looking at me sternly.

"I-" but he doesn't let me even utter another word.

"Room C206, let us know when she wants to see us." he says taking some steps up to me, before grabbing my shoulder. "Boy, you made a mess here. I don't know what happened before I got here, but I know there's something going on with you. More than just me 'taking' a position, that you believe I don't deserve."

I tried to yank myself away, but he gripped my shoulder. It was hard, but not in a way to hurt me. I sucked in a breath, trying to stay calm or somewhat not let any anger boil over me.

"Fix it." he says before letting me go.

Fix it.

Everyone keeps saying that. But how? How do I fix it? I have been trying to fix it, fix everything that seems to be wrong. Broken.

Once I push the foor open to mom's room, her head turns slowly to my direction. Her eyes seem to flicker with light, then fire, but soon fades. A weak smile appears on her face, for a while.

"Hey baby." she says as I take a seat, in the chair next to her bed.

Where did the wrinkles come from? Her skin was pale, what happened to the rosey skin I knew? Her hair was stringy, was it always like that? And those eyes...those eyes just seemed so dull. I felt my breath leaving me. And I started trying to suck up any air I could in the room, to stay sane, to stay composed, for her.

"H-Hey." my voice cracked, as I tried to smile but it wavered.

"I'm sorry." she says reaching for my hand, and pats it gently.

"No, no- I... Mama I'm sorry." I broke into tears suddenly, clasping her hand. "I should have known! And I just...I can't get over dad, and I just can't cope correctly." I laughed bitterly, and she pulled her hand away a bit. I hadn't noticed I was squeezing her hand so tight. "Sor-Sorry, I just feel so lost.."

"We all cope in our own way." she says, claspig my hand in her own again. There is a minute of silence before she smiles a little. "Terrance was not how I coped either you booger."

"I-"

"I know you were thinking it.... And he can't replace your father. He knows that, I know that. And you know that." she says looking at my eyes deeply. "I don't know where I went wrong..."

"Mom," I cut in. "You didn't do anything wrong, I made some wrong turns on my own. They were my actions..." I say sighing, as I close my eyes thinking of last year and this year. "But I'm gonna make some changes." I mumble, rubbing her hand with my thumb. "I promise."

I told her everything, and she wasn't surprised. Either because she knew already, or just figured it out. And after our talk, Terrance and Natalie came in. I stood off in the corner to give them room.

It's not your fault.

That's what mom said. This wasn't exactly my fault, but many other things were. And while I wanted to fix everything, I wasn't exactly the best handyman it seems.

So I took another road of techniques. Natalie and I went home while Terrance stayed with mom, even though she wanted all of us to go home. Natalie passed out as soon as we got home, her baggy eyes I noticed on the drive home must have been from the lack of sleep.

It was the best time to do some work, on myself. I cleaned the house: scrubbed the floors, washed the dishes, took out the trash, and more chores I normally wouldn't do. Most were usually done during the Spring, but I needed to do something.

It wasn't just because of my guilt, but I could reflect while cleaning. Instead of reflecting by staring at the walls in my bed. The sky was a mix of pink and orange by the time I was done cleaning, and had started on making dinner. I had no idea if Terrance would be coming back tonight, but I made enough spaghetti that could last for some days.

Natalie was still not up when I was finished with dinner. So I ate alone at the table, and I hated it. I jept glancing at chairs, thinking that she or mom- even Terrance would appear in a seat. Being alone was the worse feeling ever.
And this was the result of my behavior.

The way I fixed things was actually doing something, fighting for it. But I needed to do something different if I eanted better results. So after finishing my garlic bread, I went to my room and started writing in my notes on what to say to Lance, the rest of the gang, Ashton, and Logan.

While I didn't have Logan's phone number and any information like that in the sorts- or he just blocked me, I knew his twin and his address. But I would leave Logan last, since I had no idea where to start. So I started on the gang, it didn't take as long as I thought it would. I thought about everything, and apologized to each of them individually. While I could send each to them theough message I decided to call them.

"This is a huge step for you." Darby says as I hear Piper trying to conceal a laugh in the background. At least I was able to knock out two birds with one stone, I guess.

"I know." I say laying back on my headboard.

"No, like seriously. You're apologizing." Darby says in awe.

"What he's trying to say, is that he's proud of you. And so am I." Piper cuts in and I roll my eyes, but I feel my lips curl up.

"Oh yeah?" I mock him and hear him groan.

"Your punishment is still on, but I gladly take your apology. This will contribute to your punishment." Piper replies before I hear shuffling.

"Wait, how?" I'm suddenly sitting up more.

"Darby back, and don't worry about it until it happens. Anyway, I'm sure you got more calls to get to." Darby says between pauses, obviously snacking on something.

"Yeah I do, thanks again Darby. And try not to punish me bad guys." I say but the two only hum in response before Darby hangs up.

Of the gang, I had Lance and Patrick left. And honestly, even though I kind of had a script, at the same time I didn't know how to start. I felt more comfortable to call Patrick first, so I did.

"You're lucky I just finished dinner." Patrick retorts, as I roll my eyes.

"Look, I called to apologize." I mumble glancing at what I typed.

"What?" his voice rises, for once some emotion leaves that dead body of his.

"I mean it, you deal with all my crap. All the time, if anything you're like a brother. I would say best friend but you're more than that." I start speaking quickly through my sentences, feeling my face rise in heat.

I've been embarrassing myself quite a bit today, but it was worth it so far with everyone's reactions. And this is why they were my friends, even though I didn't deserve them at all.

"I really hope you aren't confessing to me right now in your apology." he says, and after a moment of silence I burst into laugter and tears. "I'm gonna hope that's a no."

"Definitely." I reply after I calm down a bit. "But really, I need to do more for you guys."

"Don't try to kiss our asses Cody, but I do appreciate this." he says humming a little to himself. "Stop being an ass and I might just consider hanging out with you more, and not just for your pity parties."

"Wow, thanks Pat." I say rolling my eyes with a smile. "But, why don't you go to the homecoming with Meg?" slips out from my lips, while I did promise to help Meg before and when I called her, this was not the plan.

"Ex-Excuse me?" he sputters, causing me to quirk an eyebrow.

"What's wrong with it? It's not like either of us in the group are dating." I try to recover from my mishap.

"...True, I guess." he mumbles.

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"You like Meg."

"I have some interest in her."

"Same thing!!!!"

We talked for hours, Natalie eventually woke up and told me to quiet it down. But I paid her no mind, I wasn't going to react how I usually would. Instead, I told her that her plate was in the microwave. It just felt good to actually talk to Patrick like this. I couldn't say again, because while I talked to everyone and that stopped, I never talked to them this much before. Be so open, and Patrick definitely was not this open before.

"You definitely have to ask her to homecoming." I say looking up at the ceiling on my back.

"How do we always end up back here about Meg?!" his voice cracks, having me laughing my ass off. "Oh, shut up! Why don't you ask that boy to homecoming?!" and there's silence afterward.

"What boy?" I reply much softer now.

"Cody, you're supposed to be getting better remember?"

"I am! This is just day one, and I've improved a lot!" I argue sitting up quickly.

"I agree, but this was a big problem for you. A little late, but a problem." he says making me sigh. "Some of the things you told me about freshman year with him, obviously points out that you felt something. But you were too busy with that girl Rene and Logan on your mind."

"Rebecca." I mutter while rolling my eyes.

"And I would say you felt something for Logan, also if it weren't for the obvious reason of knowledge that I have. Which I know you definitely don't like Logan but he was just your best friend, maybe even brother." he mocks me at the last part.

"Don't make me take back what I said about you." I scoff.

"The thing is, you can't take back what you say or do. That's the root of many of your issues." he says using logic against me, once again.

"So...what do I do? I can't just ask Ashton to homecoming, I haven't even apologized to him yet- which I'm still working on."

"I don't think you just apologizing is going to cut it." he speaks up before I can say anymore. "You told me how many times you have apologized, and I understand you are trying to step up to it in a different way. But Ashton isn't us Cody, and he obviously felt something for you back then too. Maybe more than how you felt for him, but something was there. And that kind of feeling can be delicate."

"....Ashton- he...what?" is all I can come up with, to leave my mouth.

"Just apologize, and leave it alome afterward. You can't continue to go after him if he isn't going to give you the time of day."

"But he was...it was just that party that-"

"Apologize, and let it go. If things are meant to be fixed then they will be."

After a while of silence, I brought up another topic. We talked a while longer before he had to go. I decided to finally get up and leave my room, to check up on Natalie.

"Heey sis." I say as I walk into the doorway of the kitchen.

She jumps a little then turns her body a bit, in my direction. "Hey." she says turning off her phone, and slips it into her pocket.

I moved to the small table and took a seat across from her. "Sorry, about today- just any day where I've been a jerk. And since this isn't written beforehand I'm just going off the top of my head."

She rolled her eyes, a small smile appeared on her face for a split second. She rolls her eyes then leans on the table, on her hands. "You're my big brother, so you're always jerky. But thanks."

"So...were you texting that one girl?" I ask and she looks away.

"She was texting me, and I was debating on if I should reply or not." she mumbles.

"You like her." I say and her eyes flicker to mine quickly.

"You're-"

"Right, you like like her. And it's fine." I say when she tenses up, and sher body slightly relaxes.

"I'm not a lesbian."

"Okay." I say and she sucks in a breath.

"I like guys."

"Alright?" I reply quirking an eyebrow.

"You're not supportive, where is my brother. I like her, maybe. You aren't my brother. I think I like girls and guys." she holds her head in her hands.

"That's fine, and you're right. I'm usually not, but I know mom and Terrance would be. And this is your new brother, so welcome him to the family please? Or at least just know he exists?"

"God, you're a dork." she sighs loudly and lofts her head up from her hands, but there's a genuine smile between her tears.

"I think- I'm not gay, but I think I liked Ashton." I say clearing my throat and she looks at me for a while.

"You bitch." she scoffs and I blink at her.

"What did I say?!"

"Liked?! And you didn't say or do anything?! Or are you talking abiut recently liked?" she smacked her hand on the table glaring at me.

"Why are you so mad?!" I shout glaring right back.

"Because he's liked you for so long you idiot."

"I heard." I mumble as I feel heat rise to my cheeks. "Cut me a break."

"Never! Also you need to work on cooking." she says getting up from her seat, sticking her tongue out at me.

We went back to our own rooms and I decided to send Ashton a voicemail. I called, and for once actually hoped he wouldn't answer. Thankfully he didn't, he was probably busy with work or was eating dinner himself. My voicemail to him was so long I had to send two. And then I moved along to Lance.

Which was a swift call. He said I really didn't have much to apologize for but being a dick and being a dick with his brother. But his brother had crossed the line and he apologized about that. And of course the topic of us sleeping together came up. But he was cool about it, and we...we were cool. Just friends, and no real feelings behind it. He even opened up that he was kind of happy to do some experimentation, whatever that means. We talked a while longer, and eventually his brother was the topic.

"I can try talking to him, but honestly I think you should leave him alone. He holds grudges, and you should know that from being his best friend." he explains and I sigh.

"Yeah..I know, thanks anyway." I say while hearing the front door open.

"No problem, bye Cody." he says before hanging up.

Eventually I hear footsteps near closer, I turn in the direction of my door to see Terrance. His hair is a mess, and he has bags under his eyes.

"Food is downstairs in the fridge. But there's a plate for you already made in the microwave." I say automatically, like this was a normal thing I do. But I was hoping it would be.

"Uh...thanks." he says blinkig at me, and stands up straight. "Your mom may have to stay in there for another day or so. But they said she should be okay."

"For how long though?" leaves my lips as he frowns.

"Many don't live too long with her...um condition. But she should be around for her grandchildren." he says cracking a smile, to obviously lighten the mood.

But if I ended up with a male then there would be no grandchildren, same with Natalie if she ended with a female. Sure, we could adopt but I don't know if I was father material. Natalie would probably adopt though.

"I needed that." I say smiling back at him a little, he gawks at me a bit.

"Well...um glad to help? And thanks for cooking, I needed that." he says giving me a genuine smile before walking off. "Get some sleep soon sport!"

What do you all think of the chapter? Sorry if the last chapter is short, I put a lot into this chapter I guess.