What am I supposed to do about relationships?  How can I find the right guy for me when each of those that had me turned down their opportunities for useless reasons or unreasonable events?...

My first guy dated me in May 2021.  When I told him about my future Internet hiatus that will occur because of homeschooling, he assumed he was breaking up with me and blocked me until a friend helped resolve it.  Days later, he broke up with me because he wanted to leave Discord for 5 months without explaining why.  It was so upsetting...

My second guy dated in August 2021.  He approached me by pinning me to the ground for tickles, then asked me to be his girl.  A few days later, I dumped him because he was waving so many red flags that said he...  Let's not ho that far because I am proud to be a virgin.

My third ex dated me a week or so after the second guy was pushed away, and we had great times together.  Despite him admitting he lied to me about keeping his promise to never date anyone except me, I stayed with him and we were having for the first half of 5 months.
For the second half, he started becoming worse.  He spent more time on his video games and less with me, he no longer showed interest in me, and he was becoming a little lazy.  The day after Valentine's Day, we had a fight that he believed lying is sometimes okay.  Saying that can mean things, like cheating is okay because lying is okay or faking your love to someone is okay because lying is okay.  What kind of logic is that?!
As a result, he dumped and blocked me.  He wishes me back, but he is behaving worse and ignores every time I DM him when he is obviously online. Because of him, I was so broken I nearly attempted death on myself. I was thankful my dad was here for me then...

After running several tests runs with different guys, I had my fourth guy. What I didn't realize was that he was a cheater and liar in my face. I only dated him for one week until a friend of mine had to reveal my ex's dark secret: he was dating another girl without telling me! They were dating on VR Chat and all that guy did was wish for me to get VR Chat, no matter how many times I rejected it for personal reasons.
I never date men who already have a girl, so I told him it was either only me or none of me. Instead of behaving a 27 year old man like he claimed he was, he became a coward and stopped responding to my friend and me. Last time he texted me was to try and make me feel sorry for him just because he "lost a friend" and "wanted to die." When I told him his cowering made me assume he dumped me and I have a boyfriend now, he blocked me.
Hmph, serves him right!

The guy I have now is also confusing. He may be quiet, but it takes two people to start a conversation and communicate. While with him, I seldom compared my exes with each other because I wanted my boyfriend to realize how much I love him and why I appreciate him a lot.
Unfortunately, he didn't tell me until now that comparisons makes him uncomfortable and he suddenly forced me to comply to a temporary breakup with him. It was either a temporary breakup or a permanent one. I didn't want a permanent and have another heartbreak kill me...

I don't know if I am being complicated or if it is just men; I've just had an odd point of view on men throughout my entire life. My dad told me that he does want me to have a guy in my life because of how it can help me in my life. How can it help my life when all it does is destroy me?!

I don't know what to do with this guy right now... I am ashamed of leaving him, but I can't do anything about it right now...

Please help me... 😭

Published: 7/6/22