Hh I really don't know what to do anymore I've fucked up so many times and they've always forgiven me and said I've never done anything to bother them which I know is a lie- 3 years of being friends and they say I've never annoyed them once

Fuck I feel like an asshole

I've been on every day

Haven't texted them and for what cause I'm just some dumb petty bitch who doesn't know when to let shit go

I KNOW THIS I FUCKING KNOW IT

god why can't I just let it go

I'm scared I'm scared this will go on too long and when I try to go back they might shut me out I don't want that I've wanted to go back since the first day but I don't know what to say anything

How I do I go back and casually talk to them after I haven't said anything in a week

Fuck I'm already too far in I don't know anymore

My birthday is in 2 days

Last 3 years I've spent my birthday talking with them since my parents always work on my birthday

I don't know what I'm gonna do this time

Fuck apologizing won't do anything how could it

I'm a mess aren't I